mywitchydiary

[mywitchydiary]

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[mywitchydiary]

Monday March 31st, 2020

Hey everyone, so I'm sure you've noticed my absence but I'm back. Sorry for being gone for so long, my dad was in the hospital and stuck at home and then Corona boomed which put my whole family at home. With all my family being home all the time, it's been really hard to practice or even meditate because I'm in freaking Narnia I'm so far in the closest about my practice. Fortunately, Amun-Ra, Maahas, and Sathis, were for the most post understanding. They felt a little pushed aside but after apologizing and explaining my side, we were able to reach a middle ground of understanding. I'm still working on incorporating them more into my life, but the good news is that I'm becoming more open about my practice (minus my family of course). While all this was going on, I took the time to read more of my books that I have. I'm currently working on two different books. One is about an in depth analysis of Egyptian mythology called "The Gods of the Egyptians" by E. A. Wallis Budge and the other one is "A History of Magic and Witchcraft: Sabbats, Satan, and Superstition in the West" by Frances Timber. Both of them are very good reads and I highly recommend them both. The latter being more useful to anyone practicing in what is considered a western culture or a western religion and the former being more useful to Kemetics or people interested in Egyptian mythology. That's all I can think of for now. I'll keep you all updated as life goes on.

As always, questions, comments, and concerns are always encouraged and dms are open (especially right now, I need more friends as I'm stuck inside because of Corona). Thank you for sticking around.

As above, so below, and throughout, may the gods bless the path you travel.

[mywitchydiary]

Sunday, February 3rd, 2020

Today was fairly boring in terms of events. Just worked on homework and such. But, early last week I asked the three deities I've been looking into (Maahas, Amun-Ra, and Sethis) I asked each of them for a sign and every one of them was answered within of a week of me asking for one. After doing some more meditation and communication, I learned of different ways to communicate or work with them. I won't list them here because I want you to find your own path, however, I learned of simple ways to offer tribute to them.

So, starting from now on, I will slowly start to work with them more and more in my every day life. As always, if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to reach out to me.

As above, so below and throughout. Walk with peace and love and never forget the worth the gods gave to you.

[mywitchydiary]

January 28th, 2020

This is my first journal entry so please bare with me as I figure out over the coming weeks what is important and what is not and what is the best way to convey my information.

But yesterday (I write this post on the 29th) was a tough day for me. My mood dropped sharply after I realized that my ex who I broke up with September after 6 months just moved in with her current boyfriend and my depressed ass jumped to the conclusion that no one will be there for me the way she was. Even after I reasoned that thought away with "Of course no one will be there the way she was because she was unique but at the same time it was doomed to fail for several reasons, the biggest one after me being polyamorous was we were at different spots in life and if she really cared, she would have at least tried to support you the way you did her." Unfortunately even though the thoughts did dissipate, the mood had already dropped long enough to stick around.

After some time, I was tired of the depressed mood so I decided to try something different and meditate by myself and with my deities. I started to burn some meditation incense and set up my altar with a candle lit for each deity and opposite of the candle was a crystal pyramid with properties associated with each deity arranged in a circle.

After just relaxing myself and calming my thoughts, I thought about how the different deities interacted with me and how I felt about each one. They all respected me and want to push me to be greater than before, wanting the best for me and going about it in different ways. As I sat there, i asked them if they are serious about wanting to work with me, to send me a sign within a week for each.

So far Maahas has confirmed that he wishes to work with me and I am currently waiting on Sethis and Amun-Ra.

After asking for signs of confirmation, I had to quickly end the session and clean up because my mom and siblings came home and I had to get ready for work.

Work was long but I like my job. Worked with great people, but realized how much I miss companionship. I just wish I had a small group of people i trusted and could just connect with.

As above, so below and throughout. Walk with peace and love and never forget the worth the gods gave to you.

[mywitchydiary]

My Journey of Self-Discovery/Witchcraft

I could make this post extremely detailed and write about every spell I did and the belief I had. I'm not going to (unless you want to hear about a specific time frame later on). Instead, I'll keep it general and write about how I went from Christian parents and household to today as a pagan that practices witchcraft.

I grew up in a Lutheran, hypocritical, and damning house. My dad would always preach about how important it was to be a Christian, specifically a Lutheran. He would give lectures to us on the evil of liberalism and anything he could that fed into his "Us vs. Them" mentality. My dad was always preaching about how anyone that wasn't saved (Catholics, gays, liberals, scientists, etc) was going to burn in hell. Naturally, this included people that practice witchcraft and as he put it, "worshipped Satan".

I grew up wanting to be a Christian, to be one of the "Saved". I wanted nothing more than to have the kind of relationship I saw other people having with Jesus. I did everything my mind could dream of. I read the Bible. I went on retreats and mission trips. I consulted with the pastors at my church constantly. I fasted. I prayed constantly. I did everything "right". My heart yearned for Jesus like nothing else. And yet, I was never good enough. I was never spoken too or chosen by the Holy Spirit for anything. Eventually, I got tired of doing everything right and still never being enough all while hurting the people around me in the hopes that by proselytizing the Word to others, it will help me find God as well. I started asking for signs of my saving, of His love, or of anything that I could look at and without a doubt be sure that it was the Abrahamic God who did it just for me to assure me. At first, I would pray constantly. Then after a couple weeks of nothing, not even events that if I were to read too much into would say something, the signaling prayers slowed down. But I still made it a point to pray as much in the hope that that would be the day God decided it was time to answer my prayers and reveal His majesty. After about half a year of me trying constantly to appease the Abrahamic God in the hope that he'd answer, a question was asked: "If God really cared for you so much, wouldn't it make sense that he would leap at the opportunity to reveal himself to you? You shouldn't have to go out searching for love, you should be freely given love." This changed everything about how I saw the Christian God. I stopped praying and started living my own life for me (this is a vastly simplified version for the sake of clarity and time but as always, I'm free to questions and comments).

No longer was I bound in chains by The Chain Breaker. I was free and able to live my own life. With this newfound freedom, I detoxed myself of Christianity and started to look into things I never could have before. The first thing I looked into was witchcraft. From there I fell in love. Nowhere else did I find so much beauty and joy and peace. Unfortunately because of my parents being hypocritical Christians, I fear that if they were to find out, they would kick me out of the house so I have not been able to do much in terms of practicing. However, I do practice divination and ritual, but I wish to incorporate elemental and shadow work someday.

As I dove headfirst into the wonderful and wild world of witchcraft, I started to connect with the divine. I found sparks of the divine in everything I saw and experienced. I found the sparks in the helping hand, the pit of regret, the unbridled love for everyone, the suffocating sorrow, the height of happiness, the depth of hatred, and the flaming justice is where I found the divine spark. I found the sparks in the experiences and emotions of humanity, I was enjoying life for the first time. And yet, I wanted to go deeper, yes, I was enjoying living. But I wanted to find meaning. I had found the sparks of the divine, but who or what is the divine?

From there I began my search for the gods and goddesses. I used the different methods of divination I had learned. I did research and tried to connect with different gods and goddesses of different backgrounds. Celtic, Greek, Wicca, Roman, Theistic Luciferianism/Satanism, and I even tried to work with angels and demons. All to no avail. Until recently I had begun to lose hope. I had grown tired of searching and attempting to connect with nothing to show for it.

Until fairly recently, I wasn't able to connect with anything or anyone. One night, however, I was using my pendulum and asking it to move. I was asking it to give me a sign of something or someone wanting to work with me. Slowly it spelled out “lion”. After confirming that it was lion it spelled, the pendulum stopped. The next day I went to one of the local metaphysical shops that I've been to a few times and gave them a summary of the night in question. After doing some quick research, the employee I was talking to came across Maahes, an Egyptian/Kemetic war god. With this in mind, I went home with some meditation incense and censer.

Unfortunately, I had to wait a night or two to finally find time to be able to light the incense and meditate. The first time I did I saw a scene on repeat. It was a dark room with a shadowy snake being attacked by a lion as a figure jumped over the snake and fired an arrow at it. The next time I meditated I saw the same snake being circled by the sun and moon, both attaching the shadowy snake again. As this is all going on, I'm doing research and adding in every new bit of information. Eventually, the names Setit, Maahes, and Ra pop up. The next time I meditated not much happened but towards the end of the session, I saw myself (imagine 3rd person POV from a video game) sitting in an elegant and golden Egyptian throne. On my right shoulder was a falcon. At my feet slept a lion and in my lap rested a bow and arrow ready to be notched.

By this point, I was pretty sure it was Setit, Maahes, and Ra so I got a candle that I could associate with each of them as well as more incense to help me meditate and communicate with them.

That same night at about midnight I burned purification incense and lit a candle for each of them in the hope of being able to communicate with them. I did. My first vision was of an old, not quite feeble man, walking towards me. My first thought was "Who could this old man be?"

"Of course I look old. Don't you know your history boy? But anyways, keep going on this path. And call me Amun-Ra," replied the old man. With that, he disappeared. Almost immediately a tall and broad man, in militaristic camouflage, with the head of a lion appeared. "You are pathetic. Look at how you let yourself go (I used to be a distance runner, but I got to college and got lazy). You think you're in shape enough to worship a war god? The best way to honor and worship me is to be in shape and honor myself." He also told me how to pronounce his name, Maahas (Maw-hahs). Just like with Amun-Ra, he quickly disappeared before a tall, lithe, and athletic woman appeared with long brown hair and a simple bow strapped to her back. Nonchalantly, thinking I should be casual and break the ice, I let out a simple wave and "Hey". Almost immediately I got a firm smack upside the head in the vision. Almost immediately, I could feel my head radiate slight discomfort from where the woman had smacked me. "I am no simple girl you are trying to woo, I am a goddess and I deserve the respect of one. Always respect the gods, even when you are on a personal level with them. That is the only way to forge a bond with them." As all this is going on, I understood that while Sethis (she told me how to pronounce her name as well) is a very strict goddess, she would be very rewarding.

While I still have some exploring to do, working with and communicating with these 3 deities never felt disrespectful or wrong. They all felt respectful and wanting the best for me. I still need to communicate with them more and discuss boundaries, but if this all goes well. I think I may have found my deities.

[mywitchydiary]

Prologue

This a sort of background post. Stuff you should probably know about me before you dive into my head. Here is where you will find basic facts about me and how I got to where I am today. Imagine this as my extended dating profile if you will.

I come from the Midwest in the US. I was brought up in a hypocritical Christian household with 3 younger siblings. I am a cis male, currently 21 years old and in my junior year at my university where I am studying psychology and Spanish in the hopes of becoming a school psychologist. I currently work fast food but am always looking for new opportunities.

I am also polyamorous. For me that means I am able to maintain and have more than one romantic relationship at a time. I do this not so I can have more sex, but so I can share my love with the most amount of people and help them grow while in return I have the best possible support system in place. Because of this, it makes dating extremely difficult but I always feel that it helps me be honest with people who in turn are more honest with me.

The other big part of me is that (if you couldn't tell from the tags and/or title and/or the bio) is that I am a witch. I practice witchcraft. I will have a post dedicated entirely to detailing why I practice it and what it means for me. I will also answer any and all questions my readers may have so always feel free to pm me and/or ask me questions.