mytaesan

[mytaesan]

taesan as your lover

quiet moments, loud loving 

 4   |   640 

⭑.ᐟ    sleepy skincare

    "keep your head up for me sweetheart, i'll be quick, i promise," you gently whisper to taesan as you carefully pat the milky toner into his skin. its late and your boyfriends worn out after a long day at work. however you both know the importance of skincare; especially in a work field like his. sometimes it's just a bit more..  difficult.. with your really tired boy. 

 "sleep.. please.. m' tired.." his words slurred, chin slowly dropping to his chest. 

"i know, precious. hang in there for me," you murmur, gently brushing a strand of hair away from his face. "almost done."

 his eyes flutter, struggling to stay open. you lean down to press a kiss his lips, soft and reassuring. then, with one hand smoothing through his hair, you squeeze out a coin size dollop of moisturizer with your other hand; gently working it into his skin.

"done!" 

placing a tender kiss on his forehead, then another on his temple. you can't help but smile as you peer down. by now your boyfriends head is leaning against your chest, fingers rested limply at your shirt. a hopeless grip; now that he's already making out soft snores, body deep into sleep. your thumb slowly traces circles over his hip, the air in the room still, no sounds to be heard above his even breathing.  you lean in, lips against his temple, and gently whisper– ensuring him how good he's been doing, and how proud you are 

⭑.ᐟ   shampoo bottles; desperation

 “hey, you with me?” you hear him call, pulling you back to the present. 

taesan's fingers are gently circling against your scalp, the scent of his shampoo loathed through your hair. you glance up, nodding, before slowly letting your head droop back down, leaning a little further forward, towards his chest. 

you don't think he notices. he does.

as the water runs down your back, guiding the last of the bubbles out your hair, you grab the shampoo bottle 

 your fingers lightly comb through the hair laid against the nape of his neck, lathering the soap before letting the water carry the soap away. his arm stays looped around your waist, gentle, to keep you steady whilst you reach up to finish washing his hair. 

you don't mention the absent-minded strokes against your side. a soft kiss to his jaw. the windows fogging further. theres a near pathetic look of despair in his eyes. it follows you wherever you go and you swear you can feel it it when you've gone too long without it. in this moment, wrapped in steam and desperation, you vow you could drown in it 

 ⭑.ᐟ   pm 

   past sunset, quiet lighting in the corner of the living room. the tv is on, purely for background noise; as neither you or taesan are paying any mind to it. the silence between the two of you hold something restoring and gentle, something mindlessly careful. your laptop in your lap while you sit in your boyfriend's. his phone in his hand. 

dinner yet to be cleaned up- still piled on the coffee table in front of you two. half empty glasses, a bottle and it's cork by its side. nights like this usually ends up the same way. his head eventually finding your shoulder, with a quiet sigh. a moment of stillness– before he buries his face into the curve of your neck, breathing you in. 

taesan never really speaks about the deeper parts of his mind when it comes to your relationship. the limits– how far he'd really go. not because he doesn't want you to know. there just isn't exactly any way to describe all the wrong paths he'd willingly follow for a feel of your presence; or the way he loves you  so hard he can sometimes hear it echo 

  𐦍

 august 24  /  somehow you got under my skin 

[mytaesan]

taesan as your lover

 few boyfriend things

  3     |   884

 

 ⭑.ᐟ    slow mornings 

 taesan does not like mornings. to him, nothing is amusing about light that seems to intrude, the sound of his alarm, the empty spot next to him some mornings, as you–  most definitely are a morning person. like.. the makeup done, hair already up, in the kitchen by 7 kind. 

 "agave, 30-20-10, cold foam on top," you mumble to yourself, quietly rehearsing the mental checklist of how you and him like your matchas. as you pour out the cold foam, topping off your drinks, you suddenly feel two hands sneak around your sides, wrapping around to meet at your stomach, then resting there. your boyfriend tends to be silent during his early hours, claiming he simply doesn't form any valuable words at such time of day. still, he doesn't say anything before pulling you closer until his chest embraces your back, head drooping lower, chin now rested on your shoulder. 

 "good morning baby, are you still so tired?" 

you can't help but coo at taesan, whos eyes are now shut, lips formed in a subtle pout. as your hand reaches up to ruffle through his hair, you slightly lower yourself and escape from his hold, turning your body to face him. he doesn't move. just stands there, eyes barely open, hands now dropped at his sides. gently reaching up again to hold his face, you bring him slightly lower so you can press a kiss to his forehead. early mornings like these always leave taesan soft and compliant, easier to the touch and rather more wanting. he lets out a sleepy sigh, hand coming up to rub his face. half asleep, a little dumbfounded– but still satisfied by the sudden affection; his eyes struggle to open as you happily skip away to enjoy the rest of your morning. 

  

 ⭑.ᐟ   caring in public

 your backpack repeatedly shoves against the side of the seat on the bus. there’s loud voices trailing around every corner of the bus you're on; a harmony you’d rather not hear- a mix of third graders, young interns, and reckless teenagers. the sun is peaking through the window aiming straight for your eyes. tires screech. the bus leaves for the next stop. the aggressive turn has the bodies in front nearly flying right towards you, so taesan swiftly reaches for the overhead handle whilst turning the angle of his body; now face to face with you. such simple actions often occurs within your relationship. you know he's doing this to form a safe spot for you, shielding you from any possible harm. but would it be taesan if he'd ever admit that out loud? chin tilting up, eyes now stuck to the ceiling of the bus, he hopes it's not too obvious he'd give up all of him to protect over all of you. his back is now turnt to the rest of the people on the bus, occasionally receiving a slight shove whilst others scramble out the door at their stop. 

 his eyes slowly roam back down, skimming over every inch of your face, scanning for signs of discomfort or need. when your hand scurries to grab at the fabric of his sleeve, he immediately steps closer, bending down a bit and leaning in to listen to you tell him whats wrong. most of the times he doesn't expect you to actually say anything; he understands that pulling the distance just a little tighter can tune out your worries and weariness. that sometimes you just need his attention to rush over you, flooding out every sound you wish to mute. 

  ⭑.ᐟ     1 am, maybe 2

  "maybe she's just jealous of me. i caught my hair glistening today before i left the house, you think thats why shes so mean and awful and outright rude to me? it has to be!!" you squeal. its past midnight. the streetlights seem to glimmer, the sounds of busy bars strum through the city and surround the two of you as you make your way home from a work party that ended.. rather upsettingly. 

 "i think you're right, my love," taesan chuckles. 

 maybe the liquor chose not to sit well with you tonight, or the eventful evening has driven you delirious. but the way your boyfriend holds you in his arms- bridal style of course, makes you dizzy to the head. somehow, he's managing to carry you, your heels, and bag just fine, steadily and safely bringing you home. his hold on you firm, yet gentle. taesan has a way of handling you when your under the influence. you're still his open, bravely spoken and bubbly girl, but under such circumstances it's important to him that you're always within reach. whether it be a finger hooked on your belt loop or a hand on your thigh, its crucial that he always knows where you are. your head slumps backwards, landing on his arm, before slowly slouching to the side, resting against his chest with a sigh. 

 you don't speak. you open one eye, attempting to sneak a glance up at his face.. before quickly shutting it again after getting caught by him. you don't need to look up again to know the smirk he has spread across his face. 

 you don't speak. but you do wonder how many lifetimes you'll spend searching for such love again. 

  𓇢𓆸

  june 30  /  wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart 

[mytaesan]

taesan as your lover

 soft moments when you fall in love all over again

2 | wc'824

  ୨୧ㅤ

  

 ⭑.ᐟ  taesan doesn't say much when he walks into your shared bedroom. he stops by the bedside table, slowly placing his keys down–careful not to wake you. he watches as your mouth stays slightly open, breathing out light, scratchy breaths. your head rested on top of his pillow, arm draped loosely around your torso as if it could imitate the quiet relief your boyfriend's presence brings. 

 the bedroom door creaks as he enters drying his face with a towel, your waterbottle in his other hand. reaching the bedside, he gently places down the items, carefully lifts the covers, and crawls into the space in bed right beside you. hearing the rustling, you wake up:

“..honey?” you manage to make out,

“im here, sweetheart. you're okay.” he whispers,

  his hands slip beneath your arms, scooping you up and softly shifting you closer towards him until you're barely sitting up against his side. he lets your head fall into his lap, murmuring small soft praises as he tucks the sheets around you, getting the rest of you comfortable. he shifts himself lower down the bed, then places a kiss on your forehead. he gently slides his arm behind you, lifting your head up before laying it over his bicep. peppering gentle little kisses to your cheeks, then your temple before reaching over to turn off the lamp, closing out the night around the two of you. 

 

  ᯓ⭑   taesan typically shuts down once he hits a certain point of exhaustion after a long day. you received numerous text updates from him throughout the day, however they quickly pile up, indicating a long and eventful day. it's now nighttime when you hear the door click. taesan walks in, dropping his bag to the floor, kicking off his shoes before immediately looking for you. getting up from the living room, you wordlessly walk over to him. you're unprepared for when he goes limp, falling into your arms. 

“honey..” you coo as you feel him sniffle against your shoulder, putting most of his weight on you. you immediately knew the day had worn him out.

 on the side of the bed sits taesan. you stand facing him as you blow dry his hair, fingers gently carding through the slight tangles, letting the warm air drape over him. you watch as his eyes close, soft pout forming as his head sleepily leans down. his hands are lazily holding onto the sides of your hoodie, keeping you in place.. just wanting to feel you close. you turn off the blow dryer and set it down.

 getting comfortable against your pillow, you shift on your side until you’re face to face with a sleepy taesan, eyes already shut, hand still clung onto your hoodie. you pull the blanket over him, adjust his shirt to cover his tummy, and gently run your hand up and down his side. studying his expression.. you just want to make sure he’s comfortable. on the brink of sleep, he mumbles incoherent sounds as you move up until you're against the headboard. you gently pull him close to your side, carefully placing his head onto your chest. 

peering down at him, your hand finds its way to the nape of his neck, fingers softly stroking through his hair. you lean down and carefully kiss his forehead, brushing some hair away from his eyes. he pulls in a light breath, you settle into the sheets. 

“goodnight, my sweet baby.” you whisper. smiling as you receive a soft breath from your fast asleep boyfriend as a response. 

 

   ⭑.ᐟ   you tie your hair up as your bag dangles on your shoulder, walking up to your favourite makeup store during the spring sale. taesan close behind you, reaches in front with his arm to open the door for you. in the store you rub your hands together, then happily rush over to your favourite brand’s stand, judydoll. 

 half an hour later, your bag is now hanging off of taesan’s shoulder. his hand in yours, hoodie sleeve rolled up to make more room for lipgloss swatches. 

“this ones pretty.. i just don't know if it’d suit my skin.” you say as you look up at him, waiting for his insight. he stares into your eyes, completely mesmerized as a small subtle smile creeps up at his lips. the glimmer in your eyes could truly take him to every planet and beyond, the scrunch at your nose that shows up when you're curious tunes out every other sound in the room. 

“taesan!!” you call for the 8th time. 

“r-right! no it’d– it’d look great on you. stunning, really.” he stutters, ears turning pink as you giggle.

“okay, if you say so!” as you reach up to press a quick kiss to his cheek before grabbing a new package of the lipgloss on taesan’s wrist. he watches as you skip off, wandering your way around the store, disregarding the way you’ve just stunned your boyfriend and left him there. he smiles, before making his way to find you. because taesan knew, it will always be you who he searches for. 

 

                                                 ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏

   june 3 / whenever you need me, we'll figure it out 

[mytaesan]

 taesan as your lover

   what its like being in love with han taesan 

1 | wc'513 , 

 

 ᯓᡣ𐭩

 

 ⭑.ᐟ   taesan stays quiet and observant, especially when it comes to going out with you. staying behind you once you’re still, shoulder brushing your back, fingers grasping loosely at your sleeve. from his angle, he watches as your eyes roam around the room, his eyes following yours. occasionally pressing a gentle kiss to your temple, before leaning down to whisper close to your ear. his voice steady, keeping you calm and at peace no matter how hectic the environment. 

  ᯓ★  slowly blinking out of the state of sleep, you slowly breathe in the warmth of taesan. your cheek pressed against his chest, his face rested against the pillow, pulling in soft breaths. his arm wrapped around you, fingers gently laid over your shoulder.

his eyelashes flutter as his eyes begin to open, his gaze softening as his eyes find yours. his hand moves from your shoulder to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, following through down your back, finding your hip, and carefully brushing soft strokes of his thumb over your skin. he leans down and tenderly places multiple kisses over your forehead, smoothly tracing down the side of your face until he reaches your jawline. softly sealing the night away with another gentle kiss to your lips before bringing his head back to his pillow, as you close your eyes, resting your cheek back against his chest.

  

⭑.ᐟ  dazed out soft taesan, who just wants you when he's so sleepy :

 your hand rests on your hip as your other waves in the air, expressing your frustration with taesan who had just told you he’s gotten about 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 days.

“i’ve told you over and over again, none of the work you give up sleep for now will matter in a year when you begin to develop brain damage, han taesan! why won’t you just listen?”

his eyes look up at you, brows slightly furrowed, pitiful pout displayed. his fingers toying with the fabric on the bottom of his shirt you have on. you pick up his hand and place it back in his lap, continuing on with your ramble. taesan’s trying his hardest to listen, however the way his shirt sits so perfectly over your figure distracts him completely, and how pretty you sound even when you're upset.. It only reminds him how desperately in love he is. 

suddenly, he wraps his hands around you, grabbing at your waist before pulling you closer. he lowers his head and presses his hair to your tummy, keeping you close whilst avoiding your gaze, “im sorry honey, i promise.. i really didn't mean to worry you.” he sleepily mumbles against your stomach. as he slowly looks up at you, “forgive me?” he blinks, carefully studying your expression. you sigh, taking a moment to soak in just how endearing and clingy your boyfriend gets when he’s sleepy… giving up, you reluctantly yet gently place your hands over his hair, brushing it back with your fingers and softly kiss his forehead. afterall, you still are undeniably in love with him too. 

                                                     

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

 june 1 / i was meant to love you 

[mytaesan]

for my pretty ,

- 태산 ⭑