mystical-marlin

[mystical-marlin]

People look at me like I’m insane when I tell them my special interest is diesel engines.

Specifically CAT engines.

More specifically, marine diesel.

an interaction im very tired of in online autism spaces. aka when you don’t have a special interest / when your special interest isn’t [character] or [fandom]

EDIT: if you’re confused on this post look at this version: https://www.tumblr.com/dinklebat/767829405172219904/some-of-you-did-not-understand-this-post-hope?source=share

also if you want to see column posts just check #column posting on my blog

[mystical-marlin]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[mystical-marlin]

How long until Dr Oz becomes Surgeon General

[mystical-marlin]

AU with Trans Bradley where through some unfortunate (hilarious) miscommunication, the Daggers come to believe that Bradley's transition is one of the main reasons for the tension between him and Mav, and they get very protective.

When Bradley finally realizes it, he's not sure how to explain to them that they're completely wrong because Mav not only helped him start his transition, but Mav is also trans.

[mystical-marlin]

i have fired SERRANO JUICE directly into my EYEBALL

[mystical-marlin]

We need to see more of this in the courts.

None of this professional speak bs

Start screaming instead.

Hana-Rawhiti Kareariki Maipi-Clarke, the youngest MP in Aotearoa, starts a haka to protest the first vote on a bill reinterpreting the 1840 Treaty of Waitangi

[mystical-marlin]

a guy, his husband and his husbands mango juul

[mystical-marlin]

Hangman finds the photo, not much bigger than his palm, while he's searching for a particular candy he knows Rooster stole from his personal stash.

In the photo, there are two men, one blond and one brunette, smiling at the camera with a blond kid between them. He's smiling all teeth except one, and there's a cake in front of them, with the writing "HAPPY B-DAY BABY GOOSE!" made in blue and red colours. The kid looks a lot like Bradley Bradshaw could have looked like a lifetime and twenty years ago, and Jake can't help but think he's really cute.

On the back of the photo, in scratchy handwriting, a quote that makes Jake hope that whoever those men are, they are still happy, and they are still calling themselves Bradley's family.

"This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little and broken, but still good."

[mystical-marlin]

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would put me into a blender and press go) and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)

[mystical-marlin]

Tom cruise in Tropic Thunder is always a jump scare for me

[mystical-marlin]

=Top gun tweets pt. 1=

[mystical-marlin]

[mystical-marlin]

if u voted for trump, I mean this in the most disrespectful way possible, I do not want anything to do with you. Not only did you vote against basic human rights and equality, you decided rascism, homophobia, islamophobia, transphobia & misogynistic behavior wasn't a deal breaker. i do not want your follow or support ! thank you.

[mystical-marlin]

Me and one of my engineers used to sit down in the galley every night and devour a whole bag of oranges simply for the “refreshing”

I think "refreshing" is an underrated flavor spectrum. Like I love it when something is refreshing

[mystical-marlin]

Now why in the fresh hell did I think it was a smart idea to check facebook today.

[mystical-marlin]

Expressing a big FUCK YOU for everyone who voted Green, Independent, and Libertarian Party.

[mystical-marlin]

Saw this on Twitter and I thought they're Icemav for sec

👁️👁️