Marlin || 21 || he/theyTOPGUN slutLover of Iceman Kazansky and frogsFind me on Archive: Frogman17
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Kingdom Hearts is like what are you willing to do for your friends? What does it mean to be your own person? How do our circumstances shape us? What if Mickey Mouse went to the Dark World to defeat some time travelling multiplying old guy?
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Sitting here talking with one of my coworkers Scott, I’m totally stealing his stories for Things That Go Wonderfully Right or Horribly Wrong.
Which if you haven’t read, it’s a KH band AU kinda thing
Which needs a better title
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what breed(s) are vice malice and mayhem? i'm guessing himalayan or maybe part maine coon?
Nope! They are dumpster babies. They have no lineage or pedigree; the closest they've been to a breed was meeting Eleanor one time. Vice is part dryer lint and Malice is a meatball. Arguably The Meatball. They have no affiliation with any sort of Proper Cat and while Vice looks like a little lost lordling and Malice acts like undisputed queen of the universe, neither of them can claim to be anything but a completely standard Domestic Longhair Cat. They're not even related to each other.
Eleanor, for the record, is a Himalayan/Ragdoll cross. She's got papers and everything. She can't read them though, because there's nothing in her head but pretty pretty fluff.
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Hi TG Fandom!
I love thinking about an AU where: Pete Mitchell is eight years old and used to being bounced around from foster home to orphanage to group home to foster home. An eight-year-old Pete who is scrappy and world-savvy and angry, just imagine a Maverick before he's Maverick — all that Maverick-ness balled up in this pint-sized Pillsbury biscuit can of whoop-ass. He runs the show wherever he goes with his loud mouth and sense of righteous fury.
But then there's this new boy at the group home, this chubby nine-year-old blond boy with broken glasses held together with duct-tape and a big sweater with patches that covers his hands and half his face. He doesn't talk and spends most of the day hiding in his bed or reading an old Chemistry textbook that he brought from wherever he came from. Pete doesn't get him, thinks he's weird and the fact that the boy always looks so scared makes his tummy feel squirmy.
So, he starts to sit next to Blondie, shares his food — basically the only thing of value he has, and starts talking, and talking, and talking and talking if only to fill up all the space that Blondie doesn't with his own words. Eventually, Blondie starts scooting closer to Pete, leans against him and starts to talk in a small whisper that only Pete can hear.
Blondie’s name is Tommy.
They grow up together in that group home, they bond to each other in a way they've never bonded to anyone else. They make plans to get out and join the Navy together one day, to fly; and they promise to never be apart or alone again.
Then Tommy gets adopted.
Pete cries; Tommy screams. They might be teenagers now but it takes three men to get them to pry their hands off of each other. Tommy gets carried down the hallway howling, hands outstretched, yelling louder than Pete’s ever heard him speak before. Suddenly, the world is meaner and colder than it has ever been before and all he has left of his Blondie is that same scuffed up Chemistry textbook and a pair of broken glasses.
Pete runs away that night, glasses in his pocket and that heavy book stuffed into his backpack, but he never finds Tommy again… he finds Nicky Bradshaw instead.
He starts to move on from the hope of ever seeing Tommy again… until Top Gun and Animal Night at the O Club, when Pete catches sight of the first boy he’s ever loved, hiding with shades on and a vodka glass in his hand, instead of a patchy sweater and a Chemistry textbook.
Pete’s still a pint-sized Pillsbury biscuit can of whoop-ass and the world has changed them both into new people…
But when Iceman comes at him with bravado and snapping teeth, stinking of the alcohol that used to scare him when he was Tommy, regaling Maverick with tales of a father who loved a bottle more than him…
Pete reaches up to slip a little boy’s pair of broken glasses onto the blond’s face with a gentle, “Hi, Blondie.”
And Iceman crumbles away, leaving a crying Tommy in his place.
“Pete.”
He still says it the same way, like he's saying home.
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Am I the only one who actually wants to read Loveless?
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For the absolutely blessedly buckwild insurance fraud AU (speaking to my SOUL with that premise), I have the following inquiries:
Do Cloud and Genesis have to live with each other at some point? If so...
Do they do anything at home that drives the other person absolutely buckwild? No in a sexy way. In an infuriating way. (For example: Does Cloud, who comes from a region with no mayonaise, eat mayonaise directly out of the jar like it's Nutella?)
What the actual hell is up with the marriage/partnership situation in Midgar that couples that aren't legally bound to each other get legal benefits? Would they need to register partners? Or does Shin-Ra have a mandatory "do they kiss and fuck?" test for everyone who registers a new partner?
Who does the investigating? Is there a dedicated department? Privates Eyes? Like Private Eyes, but the look for where your privates are going?
Speaking of marriage, is it less a Christian set up and more like a Jewish situation where you're married if you decide you're married? In which case, does marriage not exist as a formal legal binding in this setting? And what does this say about the rights of women, considering the origins of marriage in our world and their human-property-adjacent BS? I'm sorry, i have so many thoughts about this. What? Why is this number here? There is no fifth question.
I would like to formally apologize for 90% of what's in this ask.
DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THIS ASK. I should be apologizing. I just wrote 1.7k words to respond to it because I got a bit… overzealous, to say the least. Expect: Analysis of Shinra as a tax administrator (and why that's relevant to its "marriage" situation), a couple of excerpts (I apologize for quality/mischaracterization, they're essentially first drafts), and a brief list of silly HCs.
I'm going to respond to this ask's questions out of order, so the answers to different questions will be responded to as the conversation moves in that direction.
Let's start with the Shinra Electric Power Company and how it exerts power in the world of FF7 (this is related to their ability to impose taxes). We know that Wutai was an independent nation up until Shinra started its imperialist war there, which leads us to the natural conclusion that before the Shinra Electric Power Company existed, the geopolitical situation on the Planet was far different. However, I'm under the impression that Shinra superseded whichever powers came before it and used its control of global media to censor discussion surrounding those original powers, effectively erasing them from conversations about government and—based on the fact that Cloud & other characters in his age group never talk about the governments of "before"—the collective memory of the world.
You might be thinking, "wait, but didn't Nibelheim and Midgar have mayors, implying the existences of governments separate from Shinra?" And you're right! They did have mayors. But Midgar's mayor literally called himself a "librarian" because Shinra held all the real power, and Nibelheim's mayor deferred to Shinra's directives whenever the opportunity presented itself. So aside from Wutai, Shinra had total control over the general affairs of the world. Which is insane, by the way, but I think we're all on the same page about that.
I imagine a lot of their takeover was negotiated with local leadership from Before, anyway. "We'll build you a reactor and handle any conflict in the region, just give us a plan for how to tax you all—designate businesses and households, infrastructure, provide financial statuses, marital statuses, the like. Handling your affairs is expensive, but wouldn't you agree it's convenient? It'll make things easier for you, really." Yeah. Picture that. Shinra made a good case for themselves, didn't they? Didn't it sound solid? Reasonable? Convenient, and exciting?
Also, marriage is a near-universal cultural phenomenon around the world, though it takes on different forms. So it definitely existed, and it meant different things to different people in their unique cultural contexts. (Banora, Gongaga, Nibelheim, and Cosmo Canyon would all have different approaches to marriage.)
Long story short, Shinra totally taxed people who lived in areas which "benefited from the reactors," as I imagine they would phrase it. Anyone living in Midgar would be taxed even more, because Shinra runs the city. They built all of the infrastructure, they own the land, they own the industry—if you can name it, Shinra owns it.
A modern government/company/shitfest like the Shinra Electric Power Company, given its need to tax people and turn a profit on its "investments" (re: colonialism-fueled mako reactor construction), would need to set up an effective tax structure including brackets & things like marital status & dependents. Much like in our world, you can absolutely get married for tax reasons! Shinra does a god awful job of tracking it, though. They're not very good at dealing with civil affairs. As long as you and your partner both file the appropriate forms, they'll tax you as a couple with very few questions.
Shinra also insures its own employees, which will pretty much get you covered at any office that doesn't have a grudge against Shinra. If you are a Shinra employee and file for taxes with any dependents or a spouse, Shinra automatically puts those people under the insurance plan. I think that an interesting exception here is SOLDIER cadets, who receive SOLDIER training, room, and board during their application process, but as they aren't officially Shinra employees/the whole training process is part of the job application itself, they actually don't get insurance benefits. I made that up to suit my AU by the way. Reality can be whatever I want it to be. It's in line with corporate BS either way. SOLDIER doesn't have the highest return on investment, so why would Shinra want to cover people during that application process?
So how, exactly, does Genesis get Cloud covered by insurance at the hospital?
"Huh? Genesis?" Zack's voice crackles through the speaker. "Zack Fair," Genesis hisses. "I know you're with Soldier Second Class Kunsel. Put him on immediately." "Huh? Wait. What's happening? Are you, like…?" Genesis can feel the headache building behind his eyes already. "Just hand him your PHS. It's urgent." Kunsel speaks a moment later. "Soldier Second Class Kunsel, sir, what can I—" "Can you falsify marriage records?" "Sir?" This headache is going to be positively vicious. "I asked you a question. Are you or are you not capable of falsifying marriage records within the Shinra company system?" Genesis spits, his eye twitching. The urge to throw his phone out into oncoming traffic, where it will ideally face the same fate as Cloud Strife sans recovery, grows stronger by the minute. Fools. He's surrounded by obtuse, incompetent fools, and if he wasn't already drunk, he would have attempted to be within the hour. Kunsel pauses. "Who told you about that?" Zack Fair. Who else? Genesis doesn't even bother to respond—the answer should be immediately obvious. If the Puppy's friend cannot identify the prime suspect in this situation, then he is certainly not qualified to muddle about in Genesis' personal records. "Not me!" Zack says cheerfully. Kunsel says, very calmly, "I'm going to burn your eyebrows off, Zackary Fair." That's when Genesis decides that he quite likes this… Kunsel. "Aren't you a doll," he murmurs, an unwitting smile blooming across his face. Oh, yes. They are going to get along quite splendidly. "I need to be married to SOLDIER cadet Cloud Strife within the hour." He jerks the phone away from his ear as the speaker screeches, Zack's voice—yes, he's certain that it's Zack, Kunsel would never conduct himself in such a manner—almost entirely incomprehensible through the volume distortion. "STRIFE?!—LITTLE—YOU'RE MAR—DIDN'T EVEN—ME?—FUCKING BITCH! HE'S—A SHOVEL—WEDNESDAY! I'LL—" Genesis hangs up. Kunsel will handle it. What a sweetheart.
On the topic of questions 1 and 2, um… I just wanna talk about the mayonnaise comment. Do you do that? Do you eat mayonnaise like peanut butter, straight out of the jar? Do you know someone who does? Sephiroth would. He totally would. But how did you come UP with that? I'm genuinely afraid?? Consider my timbers shivered? My boots quaked in?
Question 1: Yes, they do.
And, of course, just as Genesis settles into his couch-cocoon with a glass of Junon Noir wine, some fool begins to pound incessantly at his door. Really, everyone at this company has a death wish. When Genesis slams the door open, he has death in his eyes and fire in his hands, and he has every intention of making whichever cadet knocked on his door on his night off regret being born— "What's wrong with you? Why do you keep screwing everything up for me?" —except for the fact that the cadet in question is Cloud Strife in baby blue pajamas that cling to his body like they're one size too small, emphasizing the low taper of his waist and the slightest bit of muscular definition. And that doesn't protect Genesis from the way that Cloud's words sting, so it doesn't matter at all that the man is beautiful if he's going to throw the same accusation at him that Genesis has heard all his life, does it? "I'm serious. Why do my dormmates know that we're—we're married? They won't leave me alone!" Cloud hisses the word "married" as though he resents it, and it shouldn't hurt at all, but there's that ever-present monster inside of Genesis that can't help but wonder if it's truly so terrible to be married to him in no form but on paper. "If you resent our 'marriage' so much, I advise you file for divorce," Genesis murmurs coldly, turning to go back into his apartment. "No!" Cloud yelps. His hand latches onto Genesis' wrist, rough callouses scraping against smooth skin. The texture makes him wince, but it stops him in his tracks nonetheless, so he supposes that Cloud has accomplished something. "And why not? If I'm ruining everything, would it not be better to simply be done with me?" Genesis spits, letting the words fall at Cloud's feet, staring straight into the eyes of a man who won't even look at him. Cloud lets go of Genesis' arm. It falls listlessly to his side, pathetic and shaking ever so slightly. It feels cold where Cloud's hand just was, like his skin misses the warmth already, even though it was just fine before. "You know why I can't do that," Cloud finally says, pained. "I just…" "Just what?" "I—" "What, Strife?" "I can't sleep in my dorm right now, and Zack's gone." Cloud says. "I swear to Odin, Rhapsodos—" "Just get inside, Strife." Genesis lets out a long-suffering sigh, his eyes drifting towards the ceiling, all popcorn-paint and smoke stains.
Question 2:
After 6 hours of Genesis' impromptu one-man performances of Loveless, Cloud hits his breaking point and starts tweaking out the same way he does when Sephiroth tries to take over in Rebirth.
Genesis leaves all of the lights on, like a magical fairy will just walk through each room after him and turn them back off. This gets not only on Cloud's nerves, but Angeal's, too. They are the magical fairies turning the lights off.
During Yule, Cloud gets crazy into it in a way that you just wouldn't expect from him. Cloud's ugly sweater, which has Sephiroth on it, is the bane of Genesis' existence; he's literally tried to assassinate it. Shrink it in the wash, light in on fire, put it in the in-sink garbage disposal—nothing works. It just keeps coming back.
*marriage is a near-universal practice, though the details of the ritual/rite vary by culture and religion. It's difficult to say what the implications of marriage in the FF7 context would be, and I'm having a hard time figuring it out right now, but I'm certain that sexism is present in FF7. It's ingrained in the writers, which means that it'll end up ingrained in the story, which means that it'll end up ingrained in the world.
OH MY GOD I FINISHED IT. Almost 1.8k later and I finished answering this ask. I'm so glad you sent it. It took me an insanely long time to put together my answer, but I had a wonderful time! Always in the mood to talk about FF7 worldbuilding + give that some extra attention, and as usual, always excited to talk about my AUs! Again, thank you for this ask. It was a joy to work on lol.
If you're seeing this and you sent an ask earlier, this is why I haven't responded to you yet!
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Alright I walked into the 510 lounge and there was a dude and his wife eating an entire brisket out of a half pan
Like valid
But also why do you have a whole brisket
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Walking around on watch and I glance at this kids phone as I pass by
He was just looking at a picture of George W Bush
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tonight i'm gifing martin short in the shower
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*coughs* perchance might I request how you think Tseng and Lazard would get along if they dated 🙏
(totally.. not for my 12 days of tsengzard inspo since I'm scratching for ideas)
• I think their "courtship" would be no-nonsense and direct. They skip straight past the awkward pining phase and directly into "So, dinner?" Neither of them see the point in playing coy, they have enough Shinra politics to deal with already.
• The transition from colleagues to lovers is suspiciously smooth. One day they're sharing mission briefings, the next they're sharing a bathroom counter, with Tseng's array of hair products claiming territory next to Lazard's expensive toiletries (the man loves his imported cosmetics).
• They're so naturally domestic?? At least that's how I'd see it. Nights become a comfortable routine: Lazard reviewing SOLDIER nonsense on his phone while Tseng presses soft, sleepy kisses to his shoulder, occasionally mumbling commentary about what the Turks are up to. Lazard has a habit of absent-mindedly playing with Tseng's hair during casual conversation.
• They maintain professionalism at work, but the affection is so painfully obvious. The way they lean into each other's space during meetings, sharing private jokes and observations, the two might as well be sporting matching wedding bands.
• When they think no one is looking (someone's always looking, this is Shinra after all), Lazard slips an arm around Tseng's waist. Tseng retaliates by leaving marks just above Lazard's collar.
• Kinda random but I feel like their fashion sense when off-duty contrasts beautifully. Lazard dresses like he's perpetually ready to step into a board meeting, all crisp lines and perfect windsor knots with designer suits. Meanwhile Tseng prefers blacks and a more unpolished style that he wouldn't wear at Shinra.
• The Turks and SOLDIER had a running bet on how long it would take them to move in together. Zack lost 500 gil betting it would take six months. It took three weeks.
• Do I think Tseng would lock Lazard and Rufus in a room until they get along? Yes. Do I think Tseng would have a heart attack once he realizes Lazard and Rufus make a great team when it comes to planning the president's demise? Absolutely.
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making it my goal to take only the strangest screenshots of cloud strife
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My favorite Sephgen picture from this batch 😭😭😭😭
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For your domestic Remnants prompts, if they went to university/college, what degree/major would they study?
Also thank you for making Remnants content! They really need more recognition
BOY AM I SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!
I've had an FF7 college au cooking for a while actually so here's their stuff ripped straight from my Google doc about it:
Kadaj:
Age: 18
Major: Psychology
Background: Youngest sibling of the Crescent family, majoring in Psychology purely to manipulate people better
Occupation/Hobbies: Works at a random gas station
Other notes:
The most Gen Z to ever Gen Z
Lil gremlin
Will chew on your ankles
Drinks enough Monster energy to knock someone out
Makes fun of people with Stanley's/Hydroflasks/basically just any basic white girl stereotype
Listens to 80s/90s rock
Yazoo:
Age: 20
Major: Performing arts
Background: Forgotten middle child syndrome, is vibing on his own though
Occupation/Hobbies: Does one-time act dances for private organizations
Other notes:
Best fashion sense out of his family
Fuck gender roles
Does makeup for the theatre club
Sassy as hell
Has the best comebacks for literally any situation
Is actually pretty nice if you don't piss him off
A bit of a neat freak and will scream if his hair/nails get messed up
Is that water in his water bottle? No it's vodka
Loz:
Age: 20
Major: Robotics Technology
Background: Also forgotten middle child, went to college with his brothers because he didn’t wanna be alone
Occupation/Hobbies: Builds weird shit out of metal parts
Other notes:
Yazoo’s twin
People think they don’t look alike but it’s only because of the hair
A bit of a crybaby
The biggest himbo to ever himbo
Autistic and hates strong smells
Loves helping people via lifting heavy boxes or carrying like 8 bags in one hand
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ope already have an idea for a decently long big bang fic please pray that it sounds as good in the morning as it does at 2am
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