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Christmas time is Hallmark movie time.

Now, let's make it Hangster with a twist.

Jake is the big city boyfriend, and Bradley is the childhood crush. However, Bradley is very gay and does his best to get with Jake instead of his girlfriend.

For the plot:

Hallmark female blonde lead (let's name her Ashley) gets a call from her childhood BFF Josh about losing his family inn/Christmas tree farm soon to a big hotel chain that wants to built a ski resort.

She then decided to drive home a week earlier than planned to see if she could help prevent this.

Jake, her big city boyfriend and very busy lawyer, can't just take several days off to come with her. He is close to winning an important case that would get him promoted to Partner, and unlike Ashley, he knows how to make rational decisions. Besides, they were planning to fly to her hometown shortly before Christmas anyway. There is no reason for this rash trip.

Now Josh always has been in love with Ashley, while Ashley had the biggest crush on Josh's cousin Bradley.

When she arrives at the Inn/Christmas Tree farm, she meets Bradley again.

He is a freelancer who usually lives in San Diego, but with Ice and Mav on some long roadtrip in Australia, he decided to come help at the Inn/Farm when Josh told him about the financial struggles and them soon losing the concession for the land the Farm/Inn is on.

Now, there is a bit of a montage of Ashley, Bradley and Josh hanging out where it becomes clear that Ashley is still quite smitten with Bradley while Josh is super in love with Ashley and Bradley is just done with the heterosexuals.

They try some of those usual Hallmark logic stuff like doing a bake sale or whatever. Ashley complains a bit about Jake's working hours and the passion being lost.

Enter Jake coming to town exactly like the couple had planned to do together after winning the case and the promotion.

Now Bradley is hot for Jake as soon as he sees him. Like "What do you mean Ashley, the passion is lost? If that was Bradley's man, he'd use every chance to worship this Adonis on his knees" and "he is not a bad boyfriend because he didn't drop everything for a stranger in YOUR hometown" Hot.

Jake is bi, so he really can understand why Ashley used to have a crush on Bradley. I mean, the mustache would probably feel incredibly scraping on Jake's neck while those long legs are wrapped around his hips, and his hands are buried deep in those beautiful curls leading Bradley exactly were Jake wants him most 😳. Hold on, he has a girlfriend. He shouldn't be fantasizing about getting manhandled by someone wearing Hawaiin shirts unironically.

Ashley's mom drops at family dinner that Bradley and her are getting quite close. Aside from Josh and his mom no one in the small town knows that Bradley is gay because it's none of their fucking business.

Jake is not sure what to make of this so the next day when Ashley and him drive to the farm/inn to help with the preparation for whatever scheme Ashley and Josh have come up with to save the farm/inn, Jake tries to ask Bradley about it.

"I heard you guys spent a lot of time together in the last week."

"Yeah, Ashley was over a lot."

"Must be nice to catch up after so much time apart."

"I guess? We haven't seen each other for two decades. It's a bit weird, to be honest, especially because in my head, she was always just Josh's friend."

"And now she is becoming more than that?"

"What? God no. Just to be clear, Ashley is a great woman, but I'm exclusively into men."

"Oh. That's... great. I mean, I can relate to that, I'm also into men but not like exclusively."

"Really?" [Making deep eye contact that turns Jake even more into a disaster bi while smirking slightly]

"Choosing a side was never an option" [finger guns] (In his mind: WTF?! Why would you do and/or say that?)

Now, knowing that Bradley technically has a shot at getting Jake's attention and wasn't imagining the eyefucking, he tries everything to spent more time with Jake.

So, "Mission getting Josh and Ashley together so Bradley can seduce Jake without feeling like a homewrecker" is a go.

Cue Jake and Bradley going through paperwork and legal documents and having their own cute montage while Josh and Ashley do a "childhood friends to lovers" on the side.

They do manage to find a deed of gifts that proves Josh's family owns the land and is not at risk of losing it. And well would you look at that there is a mistletoe hanging right above them in the office. I wonder who hung it (read: Bradley, because hearing Jake talk in legal jargon triggers his Competence kink). Which leads to a very passionate kiss.

"I need to find Ashley." [Abruptly breaking away]

"What?" [Bradley looking like a kicked puppy because why is the man of his dreams talking about some woman right after their magical kiss]

"I need to break up with her. Plus, we should tell her and Josh about the document."

"Right, yeah, of course."

"Darling, I'm fully planning on picking this [short kiss while pulling Bradley in by his belt] back up later. But first, I have to break off my relationship before I start a new one."

"Sounds like a good plan."

Jake breaks up with Ashley, while Josh and Bradley happily tell Josh's mom about the document.

She takes it mostly well, but she is getting one of those. "OMG, it's always been Josh, how could I have been so blind" scenes. Jake and Bradley only hear about that sometime the next day because they were very busy in Bradley's bedroom.

At the end, Ashley stays with Josh at the farm/inn while Bradley and Jake live happily ever after in San Diego after Jake's firm opens a brand new branch there.

[mystical-marlin]

Random TGM/Stranger Things

Stumbled into Top Gun fandom- and gee, what other fandom I read fic in is set in the 80's?

Pete Mitchell's about one year older than Kali/8, four years older than Steve Harrington, nine years older than the kids, and at least ten years younger than henry Creel, whose family moved to Hawkins in 1959- three years before Pete was born.

MKUltra was 'revealed to the Public and shut down' 1973, when Pete was about 11.

Duke Mitchell's death, according to one article I just looked up, was 5th November 1965, when Pete was 3.

If his mother also died in the 60's, could Pete have gotten taken in by one of Dr Brenner's contemporaries?

Maybe, maybe not. Long shots and fudging the timeline are 50% of fic writing at times.

What is interesting, is that Season 4 happens the same year as Top Gun.

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Massive cargo ship Felicity Ace, laden with as many as 4000 “luxury” cars bound from Germany to the US, sank in the mid-Atlantic, in March 2022.

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Not to start yapping randomly but I think there is something to be said on how certain fandom characterization of Maverick ignores the depth in his character and boils him down to a reckless, chaotic man who is very infantilized despite of him being A Grown Man. And this is largely because people buy Maverick's facade. There was a very good passage in 'Tom Cruise: Anatomy of an Actor' by Amy Nicholson where she talks about how Cruise in 1986 was portraying a man (Maverick) who himself is playing the part of a cocky man. He does not have an abundance of reckless confidence, it's an act, one that unravels when you look at his moments of vulnerability (ex. the nighttime scene with Goose). This facade is also much mellower in Top Gun: Maverick as Mav has aged, so it's actually really interesting how some people tend to lean back on TG86!Maverick's mask when characterizing him. Some things to think about

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I love that I can tell exactly where in the Long Island Sound i am by when I lose signal.

Like damn the animal disease testing facility is interfering with the gay people in my phone

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My hack was always get drunk and play “through heavens eyes” from prince of Egypt on repeat.

Worked every time.

chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands

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I have been looking for a little magazine or book rack to put in the half bath, since that is the Fat Bird room and people like to gift me funny bird books. I haven't found anything I like that suits the room. However. It's just occurred to me.

I have a drill press and a bunch of brass rods out in the shop.

Much to contemplate.

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Wipppp

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“…and I told you of your past lives, every man you’ve ever been. It wasn’t flattering, but you listened like it mattered. In the next one, will you find me? I’ll be the boy with the pink carnation pinned to my lapel, who looks like hell and asks for help,

and if you do, I’ll know it’s you.”

— We’re In Love, boygenius

Movies listed below the cut.

Tombstone, Born on the Fourth of July, Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Far and Away, The Last Samurai, George and the Dragon, Spartan.

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Hi TG Fandom!

So, in my heart of hearts — Tom Kazansky is a sun-kissed Hawaiian baby boy who grew up in Honolulu because his Dad was stationed at Pearl Harbor-Hickam. 

But, I also want it to be so much more than that. 

I want Tom Kalahoʻolewa Kazansky to be Kanaka Maoli (Native Hawaiian) through his mother, who ran the best hālau hula (hula dance school) on the island, after she won the Merrie Monarch’s Miss Aloha Hula as a teenager. I want a Tom who grew up being called keiki, sticky with sand and with shells overflowing from his pockets as he spends every afternoon dancing at his mother’s hālau. I want him sticky with malasada sugar on his birthdays and winning surf competitions because he loves it so much.

A Tom Kazansky who grows up to be one of the best swimmers and divers at the USNA because he spent all of his childhood in the water. 

Give me a Tom Kazansky who speaks in Pidgin because he’s a local, who still searches the beach for shells during the best and worst moments of his life because shells hold memories. He stops dancing after his mother dies when he’s a teenager and he doesn’t start again until Bradley complains one day, around age eight, that he doesn’t have a dance for a multicultural day at his school. So, Uncle Ice teaches him one. 

I want to imagine a world where Iceman is a joke of a nickname because this boy has never seen snow. 

I want him to marry Mav on the beach as an old man because he can, with leis around their necks and haupia cake to eat. 

And when he dies, the Navy has a grand ol’ ceremony for Admiral Kazansky, but his friends and family have a paddle-out afterwards for Tom: where they all take surfboards and paddle out in a big circle of joined hands to send his ashes into the sea that he’s always loved. 

Just… this hits so right in my soul, guys. 

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I’m having trouble finding this online and I figured this is the right place to ask.

In my family Christmas ornament collection, we have the fleet. We’re mariners, it only makes sense. My brothers Barque Eagle, my dad’s lobster boat and his tug, my tug.

But I want one that looks like the boat I work on the most, my Jenny C. Etsy didn’t have any that I liked, I figured this hellsite has enough artists.

Please, please help me. I will give you all of my money. I just want an ornament of my boat.

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What do you mean Tom and Pete aren’t an old married couple that bought a nice house on North Island with a Mercedes and a Kawasaki parked out front? That lining the halls of said house are everything from Flight school and Naval Academy graduation pictures from the 80’s to Christmas with their family just last December?

What do you mean Bradley doesn’t come over to have family barbecues with them in the summer? Tom insisting Jake teach him how to make brisket like he does. Saying “you’ve gotta key me in on the recipe here kid!” With a mouthful of food?

What do you mean the daggers aren’t just their adopted children, and the two old men take them to the beach to go play for hours on end on the weekends or after a long day of training?

What do you mean they don’t all spend Christmas together, birthdays, Easter’s, thanksgivings, anything and everything inbetween?

What do you MEAN!?

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All right. So I rewatched Top Gun: Maverick yesterday and I had some quite angsty realisation that I have to share with all of you. You are welcome.

You remember in TG:M, how Mav tended to speak to himself when flying? Little pep talk such as "Come on Mav", "Let's try not to get fired at the very first day Maverick", "You've got this Mav"?

Well, if memory serves me right, he didn't do that in the first movie.

Why's that?

My take on this is: The person(s) used to exchange the talk, the encouragement, the quip, the endearment with him, poking fun at each other while watching each other's six, are either dead or dying.

"You've got this".

("You've got this, kid." Duke Mitchell smiled to his son.)

"Let's turn and burn."

("Let's turn and burn, Mav!" Goose shouted excitedly behind him in an F-14.)

"Let's try not to get fired at the first day."

("Let's try not to get fired at the very first day as instructors, huh, Maverick?" Ice shook his head with resigned fondness.)

"Come on!"

("Come on Mav!" Goose swung an arm around his shoulder, his voice warm and kind.)

"You've got this".

("I've got you. I've got you, babe." Ice whispered and tightened the embrace while Maverick clutched his lover to his body.)

So he had to say all of those to himself, to pretend that all of them were still with him, to bring all of them all the way across the ocean, the wind, and the sky.

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the entire concept of TG:M is so fascinating to me because it's basically like, hey remember that military propaganda movie with the cool jets and weird toxic-yet-kinda-queer masculinity from the 80s? yeah we're making another one of those. the main character is still the same guy, just thirty-something years older. the actor now has complete creative control over the movie. the plot (apart from "we need to blow this thing that belongs to state that is definitely not russia up") is that the main guy is still haunted by the death of his best friend. also the only character we're bringing back from the first movie is his rival-turned-reluctant-ally-turned-life-long-friend. he's the reason main guy is still doing his thing because he keeps using his considerable influence to bust him out of whatever situation he's maneuvered himself into. this is explicitly mentioned not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times over the first half of the movie, just to make sure everyone understands that they are so close that the guy who's known for being an absolute stickler for the rules is more than willing to bend and break them just so main guy can keep doing what he loves. the friend is married, but there is no textual evidence that he actually has a wife. he's also terminally ill. the only scene with the friend is the last time the two will ever see each other, and the entire time he re-affirming his absolute trust in the main guy and urges him to let go of his past regrets and look to the future. the scene is basically a one-sided goodbye. at the funeral, the main guy buries his friend with his own wings. anyway where was i going with this