mysterysatanick-blog

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fuckin… up aw nite… watchin eh telly… the usual. sun comes up so its time tae get eh heid doon. just ready tae crash oot when jeremy kyle comes oan. its lookin lit a good wan so a sets it tae tape… n oots a go lit a light. so it gets tae midnight n a wake up pure chokin fer a joint pure lookin forward tae ma jeremy kyle… goes tae stick it oan… fucks this? went n recordied the wrang channel! endied up recordin some weans program! burd wis lit that: were gonnae make spaceships ootae cerdboard boaxes n fly tae the moon! a wis lit that: aye right… but then a starts gettin tuned intae it, starts gettin ideas… n a wee voice in ma heid says: deedee… were daein this. were gawn tae the moon. were gawn tae the moon… thenight. so a pauses it n a batters oot n a raids the bin shelters fer cerdboard boaxes… managed tae get a belter ae a boax! kinda cerdboard boax ye could build a real spaceship fae! nevermind a pretend wan made oot a cerdboard boax… anywiy a gits back tae cape canavril n wur ready fer launch. but no afore av hid some rocket fuel. a banana skin triple tardis bucket upside doon oan ma couch. nae need fer a spaceship a wis awready oan pluto! but a gets in anywiy, as captain ae the starship deedee. fuckt oot ma nut. press play oan the remote n the burd wis lit at: three… two… wan… liftoff! a wis lit at: here! the burd wis lit at: look below it aw the people theyre tiny! n they wur! av loast eh plot man… then shes lit at: look oot! martians! pair ae us tryin tae shoot these daft wee martians… but a wisnae used tae man nor beast in ma state! then she goes: were nearly there we just need tae get thru the asteroid belt! a wis lit at: youre jokin! if a knew it wis gonnae be this much hassle tae get tae the moon a wouldae stiyed on pluto! but then she goes… weve made it! looks aroon… n there it wis. the moon. a gets oot, starts walkin aboot lit an astranaut…. played a bit a golf… took pure big jumps that went oan forever… burd wis lit at: lets go back home noo! a wis lit at: yous go oan ahead! n a switched eh hing aff n a went travellin eh galaxy masel. takin in the sights… investigatin new civilisations… n new technologies… a even bumped intae this guy fae neptune! but a wisnae fightin we were organisin stuff… treaties n’at… n he tolt me the lassie on the telly hud it rang cos the martians are dafties n huvny even been in space yit! thought she wis makin at up… anywiy, a saw the sun rise again so a bid um farewell. a set the controls for earf… n a put masel intae suspendied animation… n when a woke up a wis back. home sweet home. back oan terra firma.

til nixt time.

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happy Valentine’s Day from the Conservative party.

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a gem about Pokemon i found on imgur. glad you could make it to the end.

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Alyssa-isms from RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2 (episode 1)

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this stupid comic is the result of me talking to a coworker (who doesn’t know pokemon) about arceus. in his words “it looks like a deer that got stuck in a fence”

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I didn’t even know I wanted this until now

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me: god i love jacking off

someone with a su icon an “gay trash” as title: actually this is really interesting because jacking off creates high dopamine levels in the brain, making you crave more,

me:

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Shaymin bein lifted by the police for being made of weed

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Shaymin needs more forms Body Shaymin Ship Shaymin Kink Shaymin

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Piplup clocking that camel toe

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RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars 2 - Episode 1 ➝ Workroom Entrance Looks