mysnarkyside

[mysnarkyside]

Ya know how in Watchmen, Dr. Manhattan exists in all times at the same time? That’s what watching this felt like. I am both in 2020 and 2005. Who is this intrepid time traveler???

[mysnarkyside]

“Its lazy for cashiers to sit down

And it’s weird to care. Work shouldn’t be an endurance test. Let me sit. We’re not doing a survivor challenge. You don’t think people can sit down and work at the same time? You’re gonna be real mad when you find out what an office is.”

[mysnarkyside]

you cannot be putting two white guys with the same haircolor in the same movie how am i fuckin supposed to tell whos who what is this spot the difference

[mysnarkyside]

[mysnarkyside]

How about if I sit here and cheer for you on the sidelines?

I received another request for an interview with a software company.

Y’all better get in line, this bitch is in high demand 💅🏼

[mysnarkyside]

[mysnarkyside]

[mysnarkyside]

[mysnarkyside]

[mysnarkyside]

The one minority group who has caused virtually all problems throughout history without exception is the rich.

[mysnarkyside]

Now I can never unsee that.

The “&” symbol looks like a guy dragging his ass through the floor.

[mysnarkyside]

[mysnarkyside]

Considering that tickling ourselves does not feel the same as being tickled by someone else, we really lucked out with masturbation.

[mysnarkyside]

Hey short people! Looking for a way to get taller? Try replacing your feet with LIVE BEARS. You’ll be taller AND have two LIVE BEARS ATTACHED TO YOUR BODY.

[mysnarkyside]

I had a dream that unless the teacher told us class was over, we were forbidden from going out the door. Our teacher was very forgetful, and maybe even malicious. After being forced to stay past sunset many days, my class decided we were going to break out every night. Eventually our attempts led us to discovering rifts in space-time where we could warp. So we never used the door. Checkmate.