myrandomness22

[myrandomness22]

Just some random thoughts

I've read up some of my older post about "AlDub", a loveteam that I previously followed. It was back inm 2015, before I became an ARMY.

I cringed a bit, but those were my thoughts back in 2015 and nostalgia just hits me.

Back when I was really a fan, I watched "KalyeSerye" everyday, I went to Alden's album launching, I followed them on Twitter and tried to read updates on them and all the KalyeSerye characters everyday. I even started a blog about them, (not that it has a lot of entries, because I am so lazy kekeke)

I realize how fast the time changes. To be honest, back in the day, I was so into the idea of KalyeSerye, despite how shallow it may seem to others, how "non-sense" it may be, back then, it was an inspiration to me, it was a safe haven. Times when I have given up on love, it made me believe in forever once again. That there is still a chance and I might stumble with "The One" one day.

Fast forward, 8 years later, I am still single, no boyfriend since birth, still the old me, older but none the wiser. The only difference is, I came to a point where I stopped thinking about love, just contented with being myself, to be honest, I am already sold to the idea of growing old alone, what an old maid mentality.

It's just that, I think romance is not for everybody. Don't get me wrong, I am not bitter about people finding love, I am genuinely happy for them, but as for me, I stopped imagining myself being with somebody someday. He may or may not came, probably not in this lifetime. But I would like to be at peace that even with myself, I have God by my side.

I am not closing my doors, but I am not actively looking either. I am at the age wherein, I don't want something that is temporary, I want something that last. Not looking for a Knight in shining armor anymore, I am not a damsel in distress. I am just someone who is lonely and wanted someone to listen patiently to my rants and my randomness. But, if there isn't one, then I will be fine.

~wintermoon22~

[myrandomness22]

Jan 4, 2023 - 12:02 AM

I'm back with my random thoughts. I'm supposed to be sleeping now as I have work early tomorrow but because I am me, I am still awake.

I was thinking that I somewhat develop a fear for writing. Whenever I tried to start to writing, pull up my Notes and WIP's, I tend to distract myself with social media, I open a new browser, check Facebook, waste my time into browsing random reaction videos in YouTube, then complain that I'm tired and already sleepy.

I was trying to trick myself that all this time, I am busy. I don't have time to write. But you know what, I do realize that if I can step back and see myself on the outside, it seems like I'm only wasting my time.

I am writing this now as this is my attempt to start a habit of writing again. This is me brain dumping all my thoughts on this random post. This may sound silly and doesn't make sense to you but to me, it's my way of letting these thoughts outside my head. It's just me and my keyboard typing all my emotions into this random post.

Pardon my randomness and if you came across this and still reading at this point, thank you for your time.

I will write again tomorrow. Ciao!

~hiddenleaf22~