myragewillend

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Lynch

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Dead at 78, David Lynch

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You’re dead to me, Jon Adams (@citycyclops)

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Christmas menu 2024.

Soup: Parmesan cheese soup with caramelized scallops and some garlic bread

Pre-appetizer: escargots with garlic-herbs butter

Main: grilled duck breast, sweet potato gratin, caramellized roasted rainbow carrots and a sweet-sour salad of carrot and pickled scallops

Dessert: tiramisu-flavored cream puffs with Baileys Espresso sauce

This placemat is really near the end of its life. Next year I'm getting a fancy golden underplate, and maybe some fancy golden cutlery as well.

Escargots and cream puffs were store-bought, everything else I prepared myself. All very tasty, particularly the caramellized carrots and of course the delicious duck breast. The escargots grew on me when I had them again the next day; it's still a pretty 'weird' thing to eat, but they do have a nice rich and earthy flavor. I'd have them again. The cheese soup wasn't really the fanciest soup to eat, maybe better with a beer than a red wine, but it's so flavorful and such a great comfort meal, especially with some (garlic) bread to dip in.

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Just found out the Stardew Valley concert is taking place in the Netherlands at the 25th of January this year. So in three weeks. There are still tickets available. I could go. I'm just not sure if it would be fun to go there by myself, but I might just go.

Correction, I'm fucking blind: it's in 2026. Thought it was weird there were still so many tickets available, lol.

Edit: I bought them.

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My goal for the new year is to work my way to a higher paying job and eventually start re-entering social spaces/society. It does seem like you have come a long way. You haven’t been on Tumblr, so I assumed you’ve been keeping busy IRL. I hope you find a new support system in your new town. That seemed to do you a lot of good. I was curious if you’ve met anyone/started dating, but didn’t want to pry. Haha!

Sounds good. I've mostly been busy with work the past few months myself. Plus, I feel like I only know people on here sort of distantly and indirectly anymore, I haven't kept up with Tumblr at all (though that has partially been on purpose). I just look at some art and poetry and then I leave again, lol.

Well, I tried to reconnect this year with the girl who honestly could've been the love of my life, but things just didn't work out that way. I think I'll always regret that one. Since then I've been talking to women here and there but nothing that led anywhere.

I really seriously want to meet someone and get married somewhere in the next years to come, but wanting such a specific type of relationship has always made that wish pretty fucking difficult. So I find myself wishing I was vanilla again a lot.

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Happy New Year! I hope 2025 is good to you and that you continue to make progress toward your goals.

Thanks anon, happy new year to you too.

This year I got a good job and a nice apartment, so that is two major goals ticked off. But honestly, I found myself feeling quite lonely this new year's eve, and moments of stress and depression have not been gone. Plenty of work left for 2025, basically. Main goals: obtain cute wife, get big arms, make big money.

You or anyone else with 2025 goals?

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Went to a museum today and one of the exhibits was about a woman dealing with C-PTSD and suicidal feelings her whole life. There was a guestbook with people's messages for her, and some absolute manipulate lowlifes decided that this was a good opportunity to try to convert someone and wrote this whole "Live for Jesus!" bullshit paragraph. I crossed out the "Jesus" part and replaced it with "yourself". Religious people are so fucking selfish.

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I got myself a few gifts for Christmas.

I saw both of these come by in this video and immediately really wanted both. They are both playable as solo games or cooperatively as a team. Both are obviously based on their video game counterparts.

Dorf Romantik should be easily available right now (I had no trouble finding it) but the Stardew Valley board game? For who doesn't know: that game is near impossible to get right now. It is sold out everywhere, including on the official shop, and unless they plan on doing another printing (which they well might), it will remain rare to find. Most of the answers to people asking "Where can I find this game?" go something like "Maybe you'll get lucky at a second-hand shop idk". So it's absolutely crazy to me that I was able to find this one copy.

I decided to randomly give it another try to look for a copy online (even though all websites list it as sold out, including returned and damaged copies) and suddenly found a website listing one slightly damaged copy at a slightly reduced price; no photos. I thought, fuck it, I'll just order it and we'll see. No clue if it was going to come in a total mess or if it was even the real thing lmao, but this was my only shot at getting the game at all. It came in, and it's perfect. Still fully wrapped in plastic, brand new copy, just the mildest little dent and scratch here and there, so small you can barely tell. It looks perfectly beautiful. I can't believe I got my hands on it.

Anyway, that rant aside, they are both extremely fun. Dorf Romantik is super chill to play and only takes about 30-60 minutes for a round, which is perfect for a quick bit of board gaming that doesn't take all day. It's the first board game I've ever played that has a "leveling up" system built into it that will add complexity as you keep going. Stardew Valley is definitely longer and quite strategic with a decent challenge, but it's the kind of game that has you completely invested until the end. Very happy, will be playing them lots at my new apartment.

Also:

Stardew Valley says: it's okay to have no friends, lmao.

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Life update:

I found an apartment. It's virtually ideal. It's quite large but well within my budget, beautiful and fairly recently renovated. It's at a pretty quiet location with a view right at a large park that's so rich with trees it looks like a small forest, but it's also within walking & biking distance of the city centre. The city itself looks incredibly fun, with lots of great cafés and restaurants right by a river and any store I could want within reach, and it's within the province I really wanted to move back to. There is a good amount of greenery here still, all within biking distance. It's within an hour max travel time from my work too, which is doable.

Housing costs are outrageous right now. Prices in the Netherlands are some of the worst in all of Europe, and even the shittiest little studio will have hundreds if not thousands of people trying to get it. Landlords can ask whatever they want and people will still want it, because there are just no alternatives and people are desperate. It's outright sad. I spent months responding to 10-15 listings a week and getting no responses or sightings. This was the first proper sighting I was able to plan at all.

Can't wait to live there. Though simultaneously, I find myself going through a sort of grieving process, knowing that I will inevitably lose touch with the people I know nearby since the travel distance would be far too great. I know I will end up losing a good friend that's currently within 5 minutes of biking. That makes me sad, but I also can't stay in this miserable town. Just part of moving on in life I suppose, but I was never too good at that part.

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Escargots were delicious. Very earthy and a bit like if you combined mushrooms and mussels into one.

But there is unironically a psychological barrier to overcome with eating an animal that is usually so incredibly filthy and slimy and unclean. Definitely worth a try though and very tasty with some garlic butter and a glass of red wine.

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Merry Christmas! How are you doing this holiday season? Are you cooking this year? I remember a couple of years ago you cooked a really nice meal for Christmas.

Merry Christmas anon. I'm pretty good, I should do an update post again this week. Just been busy with offline life.

I am cooking again this year (though like every year, some things are store-bought). I made a Parmezan cheesesoup and for the first time in my life, I'll be trying snails – I'll let you know how that goes.

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Maya C. Popa, “Wound Is the Origin of Wonder”, Wound Is the Origin of Wonder

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Alex Dimitrov, "Darling"

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Herfst in Nederland moodboard

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Silent Hill (1999)