mylyfisgoingdownhill

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Hamlet adaptation where Hamlet is a vlogger and all his soliloquies are breakdowns he uploads to YouTube

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This

Is

Too

UWU

cute couple things i’ve seen on campus this semester that make me want a stupid boyfriend

girl and guy were sitting on the same chair with the guy behind her only he was hugging her waist and fast asleep on her shoulder while she was working on her computer

saw this couple across the street from me waiting for the bus. the guy did the thing where he pretends to look for something in his bag and pulls out a finger heart instead

in the hallway i watched this girl run up to her bf and he gives her the biggest hug and goes “see told you you’d kill your presentation” then kisses her forehead

girl sitting next to me in the library has been grinding on an assignment all day (like i’d have been in the library from 10-3 with breaks in between for classes but she’d been sitting there the whole time) and her boyfriend would come in every few hours, put down food or coffee on her table, kiss the top of her head, and walk away without a word

in one of my smaller classes (probably around 30 people) this guy’s phone rang and he sprung up and left the class to answer it. usually profs don’t care if you leave class but this one is really small and he knows all of our names/faces, so when the guy comes back in the prof asks if everything was ok. he has the biggest grin on his face and says “yeah, sorry that was my girlfriend. her flight took off right before it started snowing so i was worried. she’s okay tho.”

was sitting outside and reading when it was warmer and i could see this couple sitting under a tree a little ways away from me. the girl was laying in his lap while he was on his phone. suddenly i heard an alarm go off so i look up and they start switching places so now he’s laying his head on her lap and she’s reading sitting up. it happened twice more after that

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fun things to slip into conversation include

“i’m kinda fucking w/ the fourth wall here but-”

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that thing about how removing the middle 2 panels of a cad comic makes it funnier is true 

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i gotta write a trope break where the dad’s favorite daughter gets a bf and instead of being suspicious the dad is like ‘YES. FINALLY. I HAVE A SON TO GO FISHING WITH’ ‘dad i go fishing with you every week’ ‘i know and i’ll always enjoy fishing with you more but I WANNA MAKE HIM FEEL WELCOME. COME ON SON LET US FISH’ 

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Just imagine a world full of beautiful stained glass windows which also generate electricity…

[Oxford Photovoltaics]

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We are professionals

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“Roman Numerals are way better”

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sometimes i just sit and think about ways a genie can grant wishes.

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how to stop endlessly analyzing your own behavior as if you were a scientific experiment

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Tumblr needs more of this….whatever this is.

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INTP Falls for a Fictional Character (Again)

Ti: Fe, why do you want to marry him and be INTP's crush

Ne: Yeah, he's a fictional character

Si: That's what happened last time but this is just worse than before.

Fe: But he's so cute

Everyone else: HE'S A 2D CHARACTER!!!!!!!!

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'Sherlock stories' all right you got me in my weak spot

MBTI: DARK ACADEMIA AESTHETICS

ISTJ: jet black fountain pens and thin wire glasses, illustrated books on lepidology, microscopes with delicate geers, library card-catalogues, neat signatures, the scent of formaldehyde and the art of precision.

ESTJ: shiny black Oxford loafers and white button down shirts, busts of Roman generals, prefect’s badges, sepia maps, grandfather clocks, translating Herodotus, sharp silver letter openers with bloodred handles.

ISTP: leather-banded watches and ships-in bottles, sketched diagrams of bridges, chesterfield coats, bronze protractors and disheveled piles of graph paper, Voltaire quotes, chalk equations, pulling all nighters.

ESTP: roguishly loose striped neckties and crooked grins, varsity sweaters and scraped knees, secret passageways to the rooftops, Beat poetry, the scent of cedar, steam engines barreling through winding mountains.

ESFJ: black monogrammed gloves and red scarves, snowball fights, cups of hot chocolate, angelic choral voices, etiquette books, Jane Austen novels, silk robes, ballet shoes, light through stained glass windows.

ISFJ: cups of Earl Grey and wool button down cardigans, pressed lavender in books of Emily Dickinson poetry, piano sheet music, personalized wax letter seals, watercolor paintings in faded blues and greys.

INFP: Chelsea boots, olive green sweaters and tousled hair, existentialist novels and espresso in rainy cafes, signed postcards and fresh baguettes in bicycle baskets, moving to a new city alone, dried roses and stormy eyes.

ENFP: Disheveled brown corduroy, stradivarius violins, bell towers full of bats, Shakespeare comedies performed for raucous audiences, chai tea, Irish setters, impassioned marginalia, Botticelli curls, ivy creeping over red brick.

ISFP: reading Romantic poetry in grave yards, black turtle-necks, charcoal-stained fingertips, record collections, black and white films on antique projectors, gothic spires through fog, gin cocktails, poker faces.

ESFP: Maps hidden on the backs of paintings, muddy derby shoes, bacchinalia rituals, the scent of pomade, Oscar Wilde essays, crystal goblets and crystal chandeliers, green grapes and purple velvet, curled ram’s horns.

INFJ: tattered paperback copies of Virginia Woolf novels, tower windows, local ghost stories, Faire Isles sweaters, letter-writing by candlelight, flutes, paintings of rosy-cheeked Greek nymphs, pistachio macarons.

ENFJ: reading Whitman aloud, frescos of angels, paisley pocket squares, sumptuous dinner parties, passports and polaroids, oil portraits of royalty, studying multiple languages, plates of pasta, emerald rings.

INTJ: silver cuff links and black umbrellas, antique chess boards, ravens perched on wrought-iron gates, photography dark rooms, anatomical illustrations, suits of armor, stone gargoyles, hedge mazes, horror short stories.

ENTJ: leather-bound planners, tartan scarves, memorized political treatises, debate podiums and briefcases, black coffee, bookstores in the morning, statues of Nike, gold pocketwatches, fresh newspapers, brown berets.

INTP: oversized tweed blazers with elbow patches, tortoises in terrariums, the scent of old books, spiral staircases, stargazing under indigo skies, knee-high socks, Sherlock Holmes stories, breaking secret codes.

ENTP: glasses of dark red wine, laurel crowns, starting arguments about philosophy, tortoise shell glasses, domed ceilings, lore of trickster gods, snowy owls, Socrates’ dialogues, DaVinci sketches, ripe pomegranates.

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Boys in my class be like

There’s a brain condition that gives you an uncontrollable urge to make puns.

If you’ve damaged the right frontal lobe of your brain, you can develop Witzelsucht, which is German for “joke addiction”. The condition causes a compulsive need to constantly make up or tell jokes- even in the middle of the night or during an important interview.

(Source, Source 2, Source 3)

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I’m gonna hit you whit 9 states of mater

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*guitar riff*

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Also call your peers "cowards" to assert dominance.

Deceit: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards”, on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun, short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.