myempirepro-blog

[myempirepro-blog]

7 Stages of Emotional Affairs + Additional TIPS

Welcome back to LOLAandOLA.com.  Let’s talk about the 7 stages of an emotional affair; a sequel to “5 signs of an emotional affair”.  

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/stages-of-emotional-affairs/

--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/HmScpwrCVf8

  Be sure to watch that video too. 

  As usual, we are answering your question.  Feel free to continue leaving them in the comment area or send an email to questions@LOLAandOLA.com

  Let’s check out this story.

  “So my wife seems to be having an emotional affair with her boss. 

  She locked me out of her home computer a few months back (it was shared). 

  Just before that I noticed she'd been trying to find a way to stop her phone messages being saved in the cloud.

  When I did see some of her messages she's been texting with him all times of day and at weekends. 

  When she went away on a trip a couple of times, he was getting pictures and texts etc. I got nothing.

  He talks back with her a lot. 

  She's deleted a lot of the texts (presumably the worst ones??). 

  Some of the texts seem to be suggestive but I can't see if they lead anywhere but I don't think anything physical has happened. 

  It's more flirting.”

  Sorry about this trauma.  It’s going to take a lot of work to get out of this funk.  And I am sorry you have to go through this.  

  Maybe understanding the stages of emotional affairs can help you put things in better perspective so you can move forward in the most effective way.

  Let’s get into it.

Stage 1

Void

  In order for another person to occupy the space of intimacy in a relationship, there must be some type of void.

  This is not to blame or assign fault away from the transgressor to the other partner but to highlight the fact that it is what it is.

  If you caught your partner in this type of bad behavior, always remember it’s not your fault but that’s not equivalent to not assuming responsibility in the overall status of your relationship.  

Stage 2

Friendship

  You’ve always had friends anyway.  For women, they often need to feel safe and secure.  

  So the closest person to that when there is a void they want to fill in their present relationship or marriage are ex’s.

  Ladies.  Be careful with keeping friendships with your exes.  It might seem innocent because after all there are stages.  

  You probably already know that everything feels wrong but right at the same time with this inappropriate relationship.

  If you are not careful, you will eventually find yourself justifying it.  Don’t wait for it because again, friendship is a seemingly innocent stage of emotional affairs.

  Stage 3

Sharing

  In this stage, the transgressor is getting comfortable and starting to share intimate details with the loser on the side.

  Why are they losers?  It’s just the reality because you are clearly not 100% emotionally available but yet, they are hoping to build something serious usually.

  There is a void as I stated in stage one but it is not the same thing as being emotionally available which is a requirement for a healthy relationship.

  Not only was that lady sharing details, when she went away on a trip a couple of times, the loser was getting pictures and texts while the husband got nothing.

  At this point, the marriage is in the danger zone.

  Stage 4

Secrecy

  What happens next?  The transgressor is leaving exhibits and digital footprints on SMS, text messages and WhatsApp right?

  These are now secrets which in this context can be described somewhat as lies.  They have to tell more lies and create more secrets to cover up.

  But there is a problem.

  No matter how much they try to delete messages, it gets worse because even though… remember that story… 

  “She's deleted a lot of the worst texts ,the remaining seem to be suggestive.”

  Yes he couldn’t see if they led anywhere or think anything physical had happened.  But the mind doesn’t know that.

  Stage 5

Fantasy

Up till this stage, nothing has necessarily happened physically.  But the natural order of things is for the mind to engage images of going all the way through.

  At this stage, the transgressor is starting to fantasize not just about physical intimacy but also about what life could be like with the side person.

  The mind won’t rest or let’s flip it.  The mind may not be able to comprehend the danger in all of these until a physical act has happened.

  That’s why people would call it a mistake while in reality this can only be realistically described as premeditated in reality. 

  Stage 6

Dependency

  At this stage, the transgressor has spent a lot of energy on this side relationship.  Yes.  they might as well call it a relationship because it’s denial.

  They’ve started to fantasize about life with this person and the last thing they want you to call the interaction is an affair.

  If you don’t speak to them in a day, your mind won't rest.  It’s an unhealthy dependency because you can’t really live in truth; nonetheless a dependency.

  Don’t forget that the transgressor still depends on the actual partner for something hence the difficulty in just leaving as opposed to cheating.  

Stage 7

Justification

At this stage, a transgressor is actively trying to turn a lie into a truth.  

  Actually, they are probably being honest since they have been intimate with another person consistently over a period of time.  

  There is an illusion of greener grass on the other side.

  So even though it’s a dishonest lifestyle, it was filling a void and therefore feels like the truth and it’s just being actively justified.

  At least, it might feel justified.  It is not.  That band aid must be ripped off that open and rotten wound once and for all.

  Many pieces of advice on the internet will probably be conclusive and I know that you probably don’t want to end the marriage.  So it’s confusing at best.

  You might not know how far the affair has gone but it really doesn’t matter.  Emotional affairs can hurt just as much if not more because of the fear of the unknown.   

  Reference our last video for recovery tips if you’ve caught your partner in this bad behavior.  It’s called “5 Signs of An Emotional Affair + 5 RECOVERY TIPS”.

  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Digital Marketing Certified - CHAPTER 7 - The Data | Metrics

CHAPTER 7 The Data - In 2010, I was in a partnership with my brother and we thought we could make things move a little faster with growing the business.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified-chapter-7-the-data-key-performance-indicators-examples/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/GXxzFDbbhng

  The New Jersey Northeast Corridor train line travels all the way through our neighborhood from the greatest city in the world, New York City, to the state capital city, Trenton. 

So many professionals get on and off this train all week during rush hours daily.  These were the types of people we wanted as prospects for the business we were trying to build. So we thought why not print a bunch of flyers and give them out to all the people coming off the train at 5:45pm in the evening. Great idea right?

No it wasn’t. Let me explain. First of all, it was a gross assumption on our part that most people ever want to be sold unsolicited products even if it’s free. It's a red flag at best.

As they collected the flyers from us, which seems like it was done out of pity, they dumped them in the next visible garbage.

I understood it but damn; it hurt. Not only did we spend money on printing those flyers, we also spent time and even worse; a lot of emotional energy anticipating success.

Anyway, we did not get a single person from that terrible marketing to sign up. I don’t believe it was particularly because of the marketing channel.  I think it was more so because there is no focused way of tracking the success or some type of progress from this activity at least for us at the time.

We just wanted to get the words out as soon as possible. But oftentimes, that’s the mindset of people who lack strategy.  Marketing with no strategy? You might as well grab a lighter and burn down your money.

So we were talking about the list in the last chapter right? You learned about the mistake that has cost me millions of dollars over the years. By the way, I continue to have urges to mess with the same mistakes.

You learned that the timing is not always right for your prospect but you must set up in a way that the timing is always right for you to serve when they are ready.  

How do you do that?  It’s as simple as serving your prospect the old fashioned way by serving first in exchange for their contact information. That gives you the power to re-engage and re-market to them at a lesser cost. 

The original discovery and exposure of your business to prospects cost you marketing dollars right?  But when you focus on list building as the main objective of that front end campaign of your business, it offsets your marketing cost dramatically.

In that chapter, you learn the various ways to ensure that you are capturing leads (contact information) even when you are offering free shipping and handling. The ultimate goal is still to capture contact information and build a list of these highly targeted prospects. 

This list we are talking about becomes the greatest asset of the company since money comes from only one place; from people.  

You learned that it’s not just about the data, email addresses, phone numbers and people’s names. It’s more so about the fact that the individuals associated with this data have demonstrated high interest in what is being offered.

Remember. You learned that many people will attempt to sell you data online. But they will mostly be selling you useless data of prospects who haven’t shown or demonstrated interest in your offer. 

At best, you will lose money in these types of activities. There are some hacks around retargeting purchased data online with major advertising platforms. It’s still a gamble.

But I wasn’t even talking about that type of data. There is a big problem. 

There is nothing worse than getting excited about the extremely profitable opportunities that digital marketing presents and then losing your life savings to Facebook and Google trying to implement.

Remember that money I lost in 5 minutes? It is even easier to waste resources on marketing that doesn’t collect data.  If you are not tracking the present status and performance of your marketing campaigns, how could you possibly create a plan to get you to a desired destination?

To jump on an advertising platform is one of the easiest things to do nowadays. It’s user friendly. But again, it’s just as easy to lose money.  In fact, the more buoyant you are, the easier it is for you to lose money. 

On the flip side, if you are broke, you would be watching every penny which takes your focus off collecting big enough samples to create a profitable business.  

  Most people initiating digital marketing campaigns might set up a $5 per day ad campaign and leave it running. By the time they get charged $150 on the 30th day, they suddenly realize that these advertising platforms know exactly what they are doing.  They are not playing.  They will take your money in a heartbeat.

At press time, Meta Platforms Inc (formerly Facebook) is worth USD $372.52 Billion and Alphabet Inc (The owner of Google) is worth a whopping USD $1.29 Trillion.  They don’t need your money if you are not going to make money from advertising with them.

But also, they continue to make serious money because digital marketing works for many companies. One of the factors that separates the losers and the winners in digital marketing is data. 

Every marketing activity creates some type of data. The question is are you collecting that data?  

In our flyer story that I shared with you earlier, we couldn’t tell you how many flyers we printed and how many ended up in the garbage.  That’s a major problem.

It’s not enough to just plan and execute a digital marketing campaign.  You set a smart goal from inception right? But there are also so many stops before the destination which is probably a net profit.

How much did you spend on the campaign and how much was the revenue that was generated from it?  That’s too wide of a gap to wait on executing in order to track and ensure success.

When a prospect encounters your ad for the first time, that is a discovery. An impression was created. That’s literally the first goal that we want to track.  

How many impressions did your business, message or ad receive in the last 28 days, last 7 days and yesterday?  The answer is data that we want to continue to collect because the more it is, the better; all things being equal.  It means exposure.

When you are a novice in marketing like my brother and I were, you are marketing but you are not collecting data to measure success. And if you do, you are not doing so unless an actual sale has happened.

That’s not good enough because you are not able to troubleshoot and diagnose without involving so much emotion. But when you start collecting meaningful data as early as when an impression is created for an ad, an image, a copy or a message, you stand a better chance at tracking performance as early as possible all the way till success.

And even when data indicates an undesirable result, you are able to generate that data much faster and earlier. That also means that you are able to pivot and adjust much earlier in the direction of the results you want to create.

The answer is data and data collection. It’s just a fancy way of saying success tracking. With digital marketing, you are able to track micro-levels of success. Unmanaged expectations only lead to disappointments.  So it is necessary to have ways to track and measure expectations, goals and objectives in order to avoid overall disappointments.

Without it, you will keep wasting a significant amount of your resources on marketing activities that, not just fail, but also leave you with a bad taste in your mouth; kinda like distributing a bunch of flyers that get thrown in the garbage right in front of you.  

What if you are tracking how many of those flyers go in the garbage along with how many calls you get from the ones that were kept? More importantly, are you patient enough to be tracking this data?  The more you add yourself physically into the process, the less chances that you even know how to track your marketing properly in the digital age.

Tracking these data allows you to identify benchmarks and baselines to track your marketing performance against.  It facilitates exponential growth and reduces your chances of entertaining costly distractions across the board. 

In business, there is often a confusion between methods of performance analysis.  Between qualitative or quantitative analysis, which one is better? It depends on who you are asking and their general outlook on data-driven business decisions.

By tracking these numbers, you are better positioned to objectively orchestrate the results you are looking to create from your digital marketing campaigns. The data being collected becomes available for further analysis and competitive advantage.  Your competitors will have a hard time matching your level of performance.

On the flip side, many emotions are involved and camouflaged as qualitative analysis when you put your heart and soul into dinosaur and old school marketing activities. You are telling yourself a lie that will consume your resources and return almost nothing.

So let’s break down 7 or 8 of the most important metrics you will encounter on a consistent basis when collecting digital marketing performance data over a period of time.  The period is typically set as default at “last 28 days”. But it can also be “last 7 days”, last 90 days, last 365 days or even lifetime.  Let’s identify the different metrics.

Impression - This is the number of times a digital creative (content, ad copy, image, video etc) is visible to the human eyes.

Users - This is the number of individuals that have seen a digital creative.  If one person sees the same content twice, it is counted as one user because it’s the same user.  On some platforms, the number of users is also called “reach”.  This metric is also broken down to new and returning users. Ideally, you want both metrics to be increasing.

An increasing number of new users means you are doing a good job at attracting new eyeballs on a consistent basis. And increasing returning users means you are delivering value that’s highly engaging; potentially creating repeat customers.

Click - This is the number of times creatives are engaged with a mouse click or mobile's finger or stylus tap that actually redirects a loaded webpage to another.

View or Pageview - While the clicks we are mostly concerned about redirects the user to another webpage, it doesn’t always result in a full pageview. Pageview is the metric that measures the number of times a page is fully loaded by a user.

This is called a view if the main creative on the page is a video that autoplays at a full page load. However, not all page views lead to a video view because some videos are not set to auto play.

Lead Conversion - This the conversion metric that measures the number of user contacts that are captured for list building and future follow up; indicative of a higher interest.

Sale Conversion - This is the conversion metric that measures the number of transactions that increase revenue.  On some data collection and tracking platforms, a conversion is also called an action or a goal.

Cost - This is the total amount of dollars spent on marketing and advertising. And here is a bonus but probably the most important metric.

Revenue - This is the total amount of money generated associated with, tracked or attributed to running a digital campaign.

Presently, we have two main digital marketing projects that I’d love to share with you.  These are real life businesses and I’d love to share a few examples of data we are collecting with you at press time.  

As a matter of fact, two email notifications came in as I am writing this chapter.  They usually come in between the 1st and the 3rd day of every month from the Google Search Console team. This report is particularly received for sites that generate organic traffic from Google search.

So our first main project is myEmpirePRO.com which generated 19,700 impressions and 224 clicks in the whole of the last month. There were also 38 pages with their first impressions ever.  That means Google showed these 38 webpages to their users for the first time ever.

New content achievements such as the top three growing pages generating more clicks from the search engine results page (SERP)  ranking was also reported. The top two growing pages generated 5 more clicks than the previous month and the third runners up generated two more clicks than previous month’s.

Also top performing pages with the highest total number of clicks generated was also reported.  The highest performing page generated 44 clicks, the second runners up generated 24 clicks and the third runners up generated 19 clicks.  There is more data reported and also a button to take you into the full report hosted on the Google search console.

Our second project is LOLAandOLA.com which generated 24,600 impressions and 519 clicks in the whole of the previous month. There were also 15 pages with their first impressions ever.  Again, that means Google showed these 15 webpages to their users for the first time ever.

New content achievements such as the top three growing pages generating more clicks from the search engine results page (SERP)  ranking was also reported. The highest growing page generated 10 more clicks than the previous month’s, the second and third generated 8 more clicks each than the previous month’s.

Also top performing pages with the highest total number of clicks generated was also reported.  The highest performing page generated 64 clicks, the second runners up generated 47 clicks and the third runners up generated 45 clicks. 

We have access to these data and so much more which means we can track the performance of these digital marketing campaigns. That means we can scale the winners and kill the losers.

This is what I want you to do to start collecting these data-set for your digital marketing activities. I want you to set up two tools on your self hosted web projects. Two tracking tools set is perfect because there is no one single tracking tool that is perfect.  They all have discrepancies in their collected data. 

Google Search Console - These sets of tools and reports help you measure your site's search traffic and performance, fix issues, and make your site shine in Google Search results.

The data sets I shared with you from the monthly reports of our two projects are from that console. It’s particularly good for you if you want to invest time and resources into generating organic traffic for the Google search engine.

Simply go to:  https://search.google.com/search-console/  

Add your website information, click continue, and follow the instructions to start collecting the data.  It’s free like many Google tools and modules.  If the interface is a little different by the time you are reading this, just follow the instructions on the screen.

For traffic that we are generating from sources other than organic, we use a third party tracking that helps us to, not only measure clicks data, but also optimize ads and the whole sales process.

Check it out at: myEmpirePRO.com/clickmagick  

It comes with more flexibility if you don’t want to depend on the reports from the ad platforms selling your traffic; avoiding conflict of interest.

What do we do with the data we are collecting? How do we leverage them to facilitate growth and better performance?  That’s what we will cover in the next chapter.

We will get into generating useful information from these data sets to make better business decisions.  

Do I need to remind you that 95% of businesses fail within their first 5 years? A lot of the business decisions they make are emotions-driven; that’s why.  And it gets worse when they notice that they are losing money.

So you will be learning how to generate useful and presentable information that business decision makers leverage to grow sales and revenue in a digital age.

We might also talk about how to flip information into a $204,555 monthly revenue business. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn’t. But then that means there is a little probability left to assess right?

After all in this digital era, it’s all numbers, data, ones and zeros. If you are not leveraging this opportunity, it’s okay. Being average is pretty normal too.

And by the way, you can also overdo data collection and analysis.  Overkill does exist when you are obsessed with tracking everything trackable.  

Just like in every endeavor, modesty is key when tracking performance at every level of your digital marketing campaigns.  Every performance tracking activity consumes energy and therefore must be managed. 

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

5 Signs of An Emotional Affair + 5 RECOVERY TIPS

Let’s talk about the 5 signs of an emotional affair.

Welcome back to LOLAandOLA.com.  

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/signs-of-an-emotional-affair/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/tkliYtaPBCA

    As usual, we are answering your question.  Feel free to continue leaving them in the comment area or send an email to questions@LOLAandOLA.com

  So should you separate after an emotional affair?  Check out this story… 

  “I am 38 years old. I recently realized my 34 years old wife has had an emotional affair for the last four years.

  The past two weeks have been hell for me. We've been married for 9 years and have two beautiful kids. 

  I caught my wife last week chatting with someone and when I confronted her she said it was just a casual talk with a friend for stress relief and that it started a few months ago.

  As I dug up more evidence she has gradually admitted that the affair started four years ago and now has finally admitted that he was her ex lover in college. 

  She has apologized and said that she will end for good and that she is ashamed of having continued it for so long.

  But I find myself obsessively rewinding all the things I did over the last four years. 

  She had the affair through almost half of our married life, through the birth of our second child and even when I was hospitalized.

  I can’t seem to move on and have a gnawing feeling of doubt mixed with anger, jealousy and sadness.”

  First of all, I am very sorry for the emotional pain this has probably caused you and your family.  This is not going to be easy.

  What is An Emotional Affair?  Good Question.

  An emotional affair involves emotional intimacy with a person other than a partner that you are committed to even when it doesn’t involve physical intimacy.  It can hurt just as much if not more. 

  As usual, we want to share the top 5 signs that you or your marriage may be suffering from an emotional affair.  And then we will add 5 tips for recovery for you.

  Let’s get into it.

Sign Number 5

Absence or Fantasy

  So this sign is like two-in-one because sometimes the transgressor is also wondering if their behavior is inappropriate or dangerous.

  If you find yourself fantasizing over and over about another person in a romantic way, this may be a sign of an emotional affair or a brewing one at least.

  On the flip side, if you notice that your partner seems absent in the relationship, there is usually no vacuum of energy. There is a reason.  

  Your partner is probably intimate with another person at least emotionally.  After all, we are talking about something that’s all in the mind.

  But then everything in life starts from the mind.

  Recovery tip number five is that it’s not your fault.  

  But then I am guessing we are talking about a person you love and want to nurture a better relationship with.

  So “this”... not being your fault doesn’t mean you can’t assume responsibility in rekindling your relationship with a better foundation.

  Sign Number 4

Secrecy

  Naturally when a partner is involved in inappropriate behavior, they might start doing things in secret.

  The concept of a secret lover is not a joke.  But it doesn’t necessarily start like that.  It starts long before that.

  We are talking about signs right? The symptoms!  That’s why you want to make sure you watch the next video on the stages of emotional affairs.

  At this stage however, it’s probably becoming obvious that your partner is actively hiding something over a period of time.

  If they were planning a surprise party for you, this suspicious feeling you have… probably won’t last longer than a couple of weeks.

  Recovery tip number four if it’s no longer a secret is that you should take some time and space away from the relationship.

  There is no good decision that can be made when you are hurting emotionally.

  Sign Number 3

Greener Grass

  If you are on the receiving side of this bad behavior, you are probably starting to hear your spouse compare you to random others.

  You’ve been noticing that nothing you do is good enough.  But also, there is an unfair comparison with your partner’s friends, siblings or randoms.

  As a transgressor, you should simply know that the grass is probably greener on the other side because someone is watering it or it’s flat-out synthetic.

  It’s FAKE!

  Our recovery tip number three is that you should engage wise counsel.  Better yet if you can afford it, engage a therapist.

  Don’t attempt to get out of this funk with common sense tactics, advice or by your own self.  It’s much more complicated than right and wrong.

Sign Number 2

Emotional Tampon

  Ideally, your partner should be spending their gist and relaxation time with you because we are all busy with life right?

  You can’t wait to come back to a partner you are in love with.

  So when a partner seems like they’d rather spend hours on the phone with some other BFF who acts as their emotional tampon, it might be a sign of concern.

  Likewise if you’ve noticed that you enjoy time with some old friend, especially an ex, that’s the danger zone and the end is probably not going to be good. 

  Recovery tip number two - If you catch your partner already, like the story I shared earlier, determine if they still want the marriage.

  It’s not the determining factor if you should leave the marriage or not but it’s a condition because you can’t afford to negotiate “desire” in a romantic relationship.

  Sign Number 1

Consistency

So none of these signs are valid unless it’s consistent over a period of time.  There is no one event that can dictate the fate of your relationship.

  You must have noticed emotional absence, secrecy tendencies, unfair comparisons, inappropriate engagements with friends… all of these signs over a period of time.

  As for recovery tip number one, do you still want the marriage?  Rember that you can’t want the marriage more than your partner in this type of situation.

  This is the first of a two-part sequel.  

  So make sure you are subscribed with all notifications turned on in order to get notified when part 2 “The Stages of Emotional Affairs” is released.

  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Digital Marketing Certified - CHAPTER 6 - The List | Lead Generation

CHAPTER 5 The List - So in April, 2009, I was fresh out of the real estate crash and I was attempting different things.  I built an online mall.  I discovered affiliate marketing for the first time. And I tried to use the concept to invent a cashback mall.  Today, you can see many cash back opportunities with credit cards, retail reward programs attached to different websites.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified-chapter-6-the-list-lead-generation/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/ZPk1D9oMZs4

  Anyway, I paid a couple of hundred dollars for a home study course and I learned about the Google Ads platform for the first time.  Back then and up till not too long ago, it was called Google Adwords. 

The concept was simple.  All I had to do was find a product on an affiliate network that paid a commission for generating sales.  In order to generate sales, all I had to do was give my special trackable link to a prospect and I would earn a commission if a sale was generated as a result of clicking my trackable link.

In my mind at that moment, I had hit a jackpot.  So I searched through the product affiliate network and found an e-book on generating real estate fortunes.  I could relate because the previous few years before that… that was my life; real estate.

I decided  to set up my first Good Adwords campaign and in about 5 minutes, Google had charged my credit card for $700.  A $47 sales was generated.  I panicked and I turned the damn campaign off immediately. 

So let’s do the math. $700 minus $47 is equal to $653 in net loss.  But also, I generated the million dollar lesson that I am about to share with you right now.  I’ve used it so many times since then as a guide whenever I'm setting up any type of campaign, especially with digital marketing.

In the last chapter, we discussed “the system”, input, tools, techniques, processes and outputs. We talked about how important it is build a campaign in a self-sustainable way so that you do not have to be a slave to making it work.

To a large extent, humans are still needed to test, run and scale successful digital marketing campaigns.  But ideally, you want to set it up in a way that humans are only needed for the set up, and data analysis for scaling growth.

And with “humans in this respect, I am not talking about the human prospects or audience to the campaign.  I am talking about the digital marketer or the entrepreneur seeking to build the audience and subsequently sales generation for a business.

We discussed the fact that many tools are available in the marketplace for digital marketing.  In fact, the majority of them will be described as systems.  And frankly, they are all systems in their own right as long as an input, a process and an output are identifiable.  

All processes can in fact be described as a system. But I need you to understand that each of your digital marketing campaigns or projects is a standalone system that involves multiple processes hopefully with trackable and measurable inputs and outputs.

This is how to turn a complex process into super simple and easy to understand and implementable execution.  If I come to you and ask you to break down a brand awareness campaign for a new version of the Toyota Highlander on the Meta/Facebook Advertising platform, you can now draw a plan on a piece of paper in effort to understand what the inputs and the outputs would be.  

What resources are available and what are the desired outcomes of the campaign?  It’s a mindset shift.  In addition to that, you will increase the chances of better outputs from the campaign just for having a plan.  

But there is a major problem.  The gentleman who was the actual instructor of the Google Adwords home study course actually described different types of campaigns.  

He talked about the first one which is a sales generation campaign.  It involved setting up a campaign that landed on a sales presentation page as soon as you clicked the ad in the search engine results page (THE SERP).  

In digital marketing, there is something called “the bounce”.  

What is the bounce?  

A bounce happens when a user clicks  a marketing message to land into your website but the landing page is the only page they viewed.  In real life, they typically don't like what they see and they click the ‘BACK’ button to go back to the SERP.

So when you set up a campaign with traffic or clicks as the objective, a bounce means you just lost money equivalent to the cost of that one click.  The ultimate objective is to create sales right?  What are the chances that a sale will be generated from any given click on your ad?

From decade-long experience, it’s 10% or less no matter how good your sales copy is.

So how did I end up with a $700 bill and a $47 sale which entitled me to only 50% commission ($23.50) by the way?  I generated tons of clicks and the majority of them turned out to be a bounce for many possible reasons.  Each one of the clicks cost me a certain amount of money.

For the sake of simplicity, let’s assume that each click cost me $1.07.  So that means (700 divided by $1.07) 654 clicks on the ad generated that $700 bill.  After 5 minutes, only one sale was generated.  That would be one sale divided by 654 clicks and then multiplied by 100%.  That’s equal to 0.15% sales per click rate.

At that rate, how long will it take to break even if I ever do?  As you can see, I am probably better off building a business the traditional route.

The second type of campaign that the instructor shared in the home study course was a list building campaign.  In this type of campaign, the ultimate objective is no longer sales.  Okay.  It is sales for the business but not just “sales”.  The ultimate objective is maximizing profits.

As a newbie in digital marketing, I was super excited about the  idea of working from home or from the beach with a laptop generating money on demand.  Who doesn’t want that?  So my natural instinct was to choose the clicks generation campaign objective camouflaged as sales objective.  At the back of my mind, a lot of clicks would turn to sales since they had interest.

I went ahead and set up a clicks or traffic generation campaign without thinking things all the way through and properly.  It was a short sighted strategy and it burnt me badly.  Let me explain.

In that example that I gave earlier, there were (654 minus 1 sale) 653 prospects that I paid actual money to attract to my landing page with the sales presentation right?  Those people had actual interest as evident by their action.  They actually clicked the ad.

But if I wanted to attract them again, I would have to spend another $700 and there is no guarantee that I would get them to buy the product.  In fact, if the number worked out the way it did before, I would now be ($1,400 minus $47) $1,353 in the hole; net loss.  It’s getting worse right?  

Everytime, I want to sell a product to these people that I’ve identified as having interest, I would have to spend money and potentially lose more money.  This is not turning out to be a profitable venture so far right?

From the previous chapters, you learned that 85% of people make buying decisions based on emotions and justify with logic later.  You also learned that they are more likely to buy from you when they feel like they know, like and trust you.  Do you still remember the KLT factor and brand equity?  So we know that the fewer the exposure to your brand is, the more unlikely it is for the prospect to buy.

With list building as the objective of a front end digital marketing campaign, you are now able to remarket to prospects with established interests without spending more money.  As a business owner, of course and hopefully you understand the principles of sowing in order to reap.  You are going to have to spend money to make money.

But it’s obviously better if you can spend money one time to attract targeted prospects with a certain level of interest rather than for every single time you need to attract them to your website.  If the main objective on the front end is to capture their contact information into a list, you can then contact them more times with your paid offer after the initial contact.

Let me ask you a question.  Which action do you think would be easier to get your website user to take on their first encounter with you?  Is it easier to get them to pull out their credit card to buy a product or is it easier to get them to give out their contact information in order to receive a free sample or additional information on a solution they are already interested in?  

Your guess is as good as mine.  It’s probably easier to get them to spend no money right? ….especially if they don’t feel like they know, like or trust you yet. Since you are capturing contact information, you are able to put a lot of focus on building that KLT factor or brand equity until they feel comfortable to buy; the ultimate goal.

It’s also better like this because of the magnitude of the impact you are leaving on your prospects long before they decided to do business with you and long after.  They are even more inclined to refer more business to you.  You are maximizing the output of your marketing input and resources simply for understanding the power of list building as a front end digital marketing campaign objective.

Think of it as a follow-up strategy in a traditional business model.  Follow up is another form of marketing except that it will now cost you almost nothing and a lot less effort to convert a prospect to a customer.  This will massively offset your marketing cost.

There are many more benefits to list building as core digital marketing strategy but let me leave you with these two benefits.  

Sales on Demand - When you diligently build a list of prospects, you can send a quick email just like that and have your mortgage for the month paid.

Community Building - In addition to the heightened need to build brand equity due to competition, it’s also important to build a community around your business.  List building makes it super simple to drive prospects into a discussion group where you can even get better opportunities to develop new ideas into more products.

The first step to list building is to find or create a free and valuable offer.  This book is an example of a free offer that we use to generate leads and build our list.  As we were marketing this book to 17 million people to download for free, this comment was left on one of the ads.

“Just Think...who would PAY for an advert and THEN give you somthing for FREE...Scammers are clever people.....”

And this was my reply….

“False. People who created value, like a book, that you probably will never create and use it to generate leads for potentially more business... aka... opportunity to give more value. Why are you triggered by the idea of people making money? You should see a therapist. The book is free and that's that. Drink some water.”    

Now that was a little harsh for a reply.  I guess that person caught me on a good day because we generally delete negative comments.  It’s just pointless to reply to people who have made up their mind not to do business with you.  But you get the gist.

It might be a product sample that you are offering your target audience.  It’s free and they get to have a taste of enjoying your product or services.  You might have seen examples of products being offered in exchange for just the cost of shipping.  

Surprise… surprise.  When you pay for the shipping and handling, your contact information which includes your physical shipping address is also captured all legally.  That’s how you print money with digital marketing.

Like I said, I use the same method to build my business over the years.  But I have to be 100% honest with you.  I’ve had moments of non-profitable greed when I attempted to sell to strangers without getting to know them and more importantly getting them to know me; brand equity.

That behavior has cost me millions of dollars in net loss.  When you are in a desperate place, it’s easy to fall back on natural “common sense based” instincts which assume that a good offer is good enough.  A good offer  is absolutely a necessity.  But so is timing for your prospect and audience.  It’s not always the right time for your prospect but you must set up and position your digital marketing campaigns in a way that the timing is always right for your campaigns to sell to a prospect who is ready to buy.

Go to your favorite social media platform and click on one of the ads you see.  They typically have “sponsored” as a label next to them.  What that means is that someone is paying money to the platform to target you with an offer.

Click on about 10 ads and observe how they attempt to capture your contact information; email, phone number, physical address etc.  Also, pay attention to what type of free offer they are exchanging for it. Make sure it’s not a brand that you’ve seen before because that most likely wouldn’t be a first time or front end exposure ad.  It’s probably a remarketing campaign.

Speaking of remarketing campaigns,  in recent years, you can capture people into ad platform custom audiences once they take certain actions or engage with your ad.  Although, I wouldn’t count on just that as a form of list building but it’s doable if your marketing budget is big enough for that type of risk.  

However if you lose that ad account which can happen, you might lose the opportunity to be able to market to the audiences you build in it.  That’s very costly.     

By the way, we use the same system I mentioned in the last chapter for list building and you can check it out at www.myEmpirePRO.com/listbuilding The ultimate goal here is not just to make sales but to maximize profits. Some of the easiest sales you will make will be from existing customers.

It just makes sense because if they received value from doing business with you in the past, they will naturally be inclined to do more business.  Having a third-party tool and system to maintain your list and community outside of the ad platform is literally freedom.

Your ad platform custom audiences (as we will cover later), social media fans and followers are not as powerful as a list that you nurture and maintain independently.  And that’s why I recommend a third party tool that has its own embeddable webform to capture the contact information, marketing automation feature to engage and convert prospects into customers, clients and deals.  

I know that I mentioned earlier that one tool can handle so much more than one process.  But it is important to separate features on the advertising platform from your list building system as a form of security and risk mitigation.  You don’t want to have all your fruits in one basket.

So it is not necessarily smart to leave all the processes from lead to sales generation on one platform.  Platforms do collapse.  Account profiles can also be banned, shadow banned and deleted. 

In the next section of Digital Marketing Certified , we are going to dive into performance and how to track  and monitor it.  There are way too many businesses that have no ways of ensuring growth and quality in the processes.  At the end of the day, it's a competitive market place.

Your prospects will spend that money with or without  you selling to them.  Some other smarter or wiser, direct or indirect competitor will collect that money from them.  It might as well be you right?  

To ensure growth from quarter to quarter, you must measure your digital marketing performance across a few dimensions. 

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Disrespectful Wife? FINALLY What To Do… (5 Tips)

Welcome back to LOLAandOLA.com.  As usual, we’ve received your messages either in the comment area or to questions@LOLAandOLA.com

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/disrespectful-wife-what-to-do/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/TW1iZywSVAc

And we are happy to continue to share tips from our 18+ years experience in this game of marriage and relationships.

  Today, we are responding to 3 different comments and messages. And the first one says…

  “Going through this right now. We still do things at home together, stop going out due to the separation…”

  And here is the second one… 

  “I have all the 5 signs that show a wife's disrespect to her husband. Now I'm wondering how to deal with those wives with these signs.”

  This was actually a comment response to a video we did a while back that has 20,000+ views on it.  

  Just search “5 Signs Your Wife DOESN’T RESPECT YOU LOLA and OLA” on Youtube after watching this.  It comes right up.

  Here is a quick recap of the 5 signs of a disrespectful wife that was mentioned in that video: 

  1 - She utters rude remarks

2 - She gives you the silent treatment

3 - She doesn't sought after your advice and opinion

4 - She seems to honor other people's advices and opinions more

5 - She doesn't defend you when necessary

  And then there was this comment…

  “My wife started to disrespect me in secret back in 2022.  She started lying and twerking on TikTok, commenting on guys' pictures and videos etc.  

  I just found this out this year after a big argument and I made one just to check and I couldn't believe that I was watching my wife.  

  So I made her delete TikTok and I got on her Facebook and almost the same stuff. But when I asked her to delete it, she blocked me and told me I need to act my age. 

  And that people onTikTok don't mean anything.  

  I said of course they do if you post this kinda’ content, then liking their comments when honestly they are calling you a 304 and me a fool.”

.

As usual, we have consolidated the answer into 5 tips to help you deal with a disrespectful wife even in the middle of a separation.

  Let’s get into it.

Tip Number 5

OLA - Focus on Rebuilding Friendship

  This is probably not the time to start buying flowers and begging her to work on the relationship.  I want you to focus on being comfortable with each other even if it  doesn’t involve romance.

  The fear that will probably creep through you is this.  “What if she actually moves on?”

  The question is moving on to what?  After all, you need a confidence that showcases that you are the best option for her anyway.

  Just trust the process and let go of everything you believed about marriage except friendship for now.  

  The strength of the friendship you build in this period has no choice but to spread to everything else way better than obsession and attachments could.

  It’s always good to wait for the decision maker of the present status to decide to change that decision.  It’s even better when you emotionally attract them to do so.  

  Tip Number 4

LOLA - Signs Are Symptoms

  People can argue this with me… but when women go on social media to twerk, it’s a sign of insecurity and low self esteem.

  She is most likely crazing unhealthy attention and it’s to do so when she doesn’t value what she has at home.

  The point is that there are deeper issues at play and what you are seeing as signs are ordinary symptoms.

  Guess what happens when you treat symptoms. It will give you a fake sense of relief but it’s coming back.

  And when it comes back, the symptoms are going to be worse because the disease never left. It might even be cancerous and spread to other areas that weren't previously infected.

  So don’t focus too much on the symptoms or signs.  A root cause analysis is needed.

  Tip Number 3

OLA - You Need Some Space

  Let me guess.  I know what you are thinking.

  You are thinking that married couples, space and distance don’t go together.  But that’s actually not how attraction works.

  One of the signs of low levels of attraction is disrespect and in Nigeria slangs we can also call that “see finish”.

  When a relationship is no longer exciting for whatever reasons, it’s easy to find laying around convenient reasons to be disrespectful.

  Put it like this.  A woman who is in love with you will find it hard to be disrespectful even if there are good excuses… I’m not sure if there is a good excuse.

  Distance makes the heart fonder.  It may be as simple as taking each other for granted for being around too much.

  You need space.  If you are not careful, she will be asking you for space very soon.

  Tip Number 2

LOLA - Say it Once & Let it Go

  When you say what you have to say to address a disrespect, make sure you mean it.

  A sign that you don’t really mean it or believe it is when you have to repeat yourself.

  If a disrespectful wife is not responding to your request after saying it more than 2 times, there is a chance that form of communication is not working.

  There is also a chance that there are deeper issues that you will likely not find out because you are busy talking too much.

  Your rare ability to let it go after saying what you have to say no more than 2 times demonstrates self confidence, self worth, self respect and more.

  Speaking of self respect…

  Tip Number 1

OLA - Focus on Self-Respect

As we were preparing for this episode, a further elaboration came through the comment section to one of the earlier comments.

  And I quote…

  “I know she has narcissistic tendencies cause we'll be fine now… as long as I don't bring it up… if I do… she say things like may we should be apart if I don't trust her or threaten not to talk to me if I bring it up

  She ignores me basically.  We lost our apartment and when she left, she took the kids and my car.  I just moved back to South Carolina and started working there.

  But we haven't had sex in a month.  She said she is not in the mood because of the situation we are in.

  We will be fine for a week or two, then she'll go run behind people who only wanna talk to her because she's driving around in a 2021 Charger and kinda’ ignore me.

  Then my trust issues come into play and she starts threatening to leave me again or she'll say something to damage my ego more than it already is.

  I got her to take down the other Facebook page and the one she had pictures of me on but she still blocked me because I’d be starting with people on her page because someone liked or commented on her picture or post.

  I'm feeling better now though.  I want my wife back… the girl I married 4 years ago and got 4 kids with and been with for 12 years.”

  You see.  There is so much going on in that comment that points towards lack of self-respect.  There are just some things that you will never have time for when you have adequate self-respect.

  At least, you will be willing to let a disrespectful wife go until she figures out where her priorities lie if she is confused about that.

  But I get it.  It’s easier said than done.  

  Nonetheless, you have to understand that your wife is only capable of mimicking and matching the level of respect you have for yourself.

  We are speaking from experience.  

  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Digital Marketing Certified - CHAPTER 5 - The System | Sales Funnel

CHAPTER 5 The System - I have to go back to 1997 to make this make sense.  It looked like I was going to be at home for a while before heading to some kind of higher education, so I decided to take a 3 months introductory course in computers.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified-chapter-5-the-system-sales-funnel/

--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/m0RWEUYOEf4

The first thing I learned that continues to show up for the next 25 years for me…  What was it? It was input, CPU (central processing unit) and output;  the three basic parts of a personal computer.  Since then there have been multiple versions of that.

But what it did was allow me to understand at a fundamental level what value a computer brings to our lives from a system stand point.  And I continue to believe in every aspect of life that the best part about humans is the ability to build systems that work even when we can’t.

A system is a set of parts or principles that work together to create a desired outcome.  The outcome can actually be a part of the system or a recursive input into the system to create an even better outcome or output.

And Like I said, the first thing I learn about computers is its 3 basic parts namely input devices such as the keyboard, the CPU which contains the memory for storage and processes information coming through the input devices and lastly, the output devices such as the monitor to see visuals of the work being performed by the computer or to store information on external storage.

The external storage device that was popular back in 1997 was a floppy disk.  While you can use it to store information digitally as an output from the CPU, it is often inserted back as input into the CPU for additional, better and improved output.

In this chapter, we are going to explore the concept of systems and how it applies at micro and macro levels when it comes to digital marketing.   

But in the previous chapter, we talked about “The Connection” in so many dimensions.  We talked about frame of reference.  It’s a concept that we will revisit again because this whole thing is about the customer journey.  And your ability to take them on an experience is a big determining factor in the level of success that you are able to create.

As I said in the last chapter, many businesses go back and forth between futuristic marketing and old school media that doesn’t work anymore such as newspapers and yellow books ads.  Remember, this is about “The Persons”, the people and catering to your identified audience.

95% of businesses are already going to fail within their first five years.  Feel free to attribute that terrible result to a lack of connection between “The Value” and “The Persons”.  It just makes sense right?  

We covered the idea of pre-framing the mind of your prospect so that the natural order of action is to create an order; buy your offer.  Hopefully now, you understand that people need to “feel” like they know, like and trust you as part of the pre-framing.  And getting people to convert to customers, clients, deals and partners start to feel almost effortless.

Very importantly, we covered a tool that helps us create a spider web of these agents and connections all over the world wide web.  Do you recall the content management system?  The CMS right?  My favorite CMS, Wordpress, controls 40% of the CMS market share.

That is a good thing because of the ever evolving nature of everything digital.  So like typical software, there are constant and seamless updates of bells and whistles to make your customers’ experiences super-cutting edge.  In this era, you as a business owner or digital marketer cannot afford to operate on stale systems.

With that being said, let’s get into systems when it comes to digital marketing and digital based businesses.  You guessed it right.  It starts with an input.

In 2009, I got introduced to the world of multilevel marketing and direct sales.  The truth is that it wasn’t just about finding customers.  In fact, the majority of the income came from building a team.  Being a self-motivated person that I’ve always been, I got to work right away, and I recruited my brother into my downline.

The idea behind the  business model leverages people's immediate circle of influence to first… sell the business opportunity to and then second, sell them products if they are not interested in building the business.

My brother figured out quickly that the main input into the business model was people.  The owners of these multilevel marketing businesses such as Amway, Herbalife, TransAmerica, Primerica etc. simply need people.  

But there is a problem.  Sure, we can probably go through the contacts of our smart phones and find 100 people.  The issue is that we usually haven’t connected with these people in a long time.  So even though they are people, they are not necessarily suitable inputs for the business model.  Hence many of the reps get frustrated until they quit the business.

Also, we are talking about a business model that requires face-to-face sales skills.  While a lot of the leaders and trainers in that industry continue to tell their teammates that sales is not involved, nothing could be further from the truth.  The reality is that money is expected to exchange hands with an opportunity; a business opportunity or at least a product.  

So even the second part of this business system is flawed with mostly non-capable business owners and processes that aren't updated for the digital era.  No arguments.  If it’s working for you, keep doing what you are doing because it works right?

In the last few years, many multi level marketers have transferred the same not-so-professional strategies to social media.  All they do is pitch every one by “throwing everything at the wall and hoping that something sticks.” 

Most other types of businesses make the same mistake; not identifying a suitable input necessary with well thought out processes and systems that can operate even when humans are not involved.  So if the main person gets sick or encounters an emergency, operations will shut down immediately; just an over-glorified and undercompensated after 9-5 job. 

If your marketing needs your attention constantly in order to continue filling the pipeline, it cannot be working competitively in these times.  Back in the days, the only call-to-action on commercials was the phone number which meant someone had to pick up the phone on the other end.  If they don’t pick up, you’ve lost money.

When that happens enough time, it can take your business out effectively becoming the 95% in 5 years failure stat member.  Since then, marketing has evolved to not involve the need of humans to receive these messages.

Back in 1998, there were the famous 900 numbers all over television commercials.  Not only did these numbers actually charge the callers a fee that shares royalties with the business on the other end, the phone was also picked up by automated answering machines.

So the more your marketing involves humans, the higher the cost of marketing will be because of the cost of human resources and time.  Systems can still involve human time but the idea is to minimize that particular variable in your marketing therefore reducing or offsetting marketing cost dramatically.

The same way we have inputs, central processing units (CPU) and outputs as the three basic parts of a personal computer, your marketing operation must identify the inputs, processes and outputs.  A business can no longer just be a business; it must be a business “system”. And that means, you are able to take a walk without a risk of the business shutting down.  

There are multi-layers of systems in any given business and one of them is obviously the marketing system.  To further break this down, I want to borrow some ideas for what I learned in Project Management Professional (PMP®).  Surprise… surprise… They use similar concepts to break down projects.

Projects have multiple processes which are subsets of systems.  Each process has its own inputs, tools and techniques (TT) and outputs.  For short, you might encounter ITTO if you are into project management.  The reality is that each campaign is like a  project especially if it has an end date or predetermined and desired end results.

Back in the days, you might just worry about the input and the output as a business owner while the process in-between them is handled by a marketing agency.  But in this digital era, any individual with a Facebook or Google account has access to millions of target audience.  

In many ways, marketing agencies are still very  useful.  In fact, you can inquire more at www.myEmpirePRO.com.services  about our marketing agency services.  But the point is that the business owners are much more involved in the middle component of a marketing system; the processes, at least at a consulting and services level.

We will get into more detail of the different components of a marketing system and campaign throughout the rest of this book.  My focus right now is just to highlight the importance of executing the marketing campaign of a business, product or service like a system.

What it does is that it removes guess-work and allows you to replicate more of what’s working and delete whatever is not working.  You will be able to scale your business without and simultaneously eliminate human error in that process.

There are two metrics that we will elaborate on later namely; ACV and LCV.  They stand for Average Customer Value and Lifetime Customer Value respectively.  These are the KPI (Key Performance Indicators) that allow you to test offers in different  types of ways.  

Do you know the average or lifetime customer value of your business?  If you do not know this number, you can’t scale the business because it’s directly an indication that you don’t even know your business.

It’s very simple.  Over a period of time, divide your total revenue by the number of customers; the product is your average customer value.  Lifetime is simply the same number over the lifetime of your business.

When you don’t have systems that systemically make offers in a particular sequence based on a customer journey into and through your offers, you can’t properly measure these numbers.  And the last thing you want to try is to manually measure and calculate these important numbers. You will lose track.

Here are some examples of systems that allow you to measure your ACV and LCV so that you can know when and how much to invest in marketing  campaigns.

Funded Proposal - Anytime you have an offer, product or service for the marketplace, think of it as a proposal.  You are proposing a solution where the buyer has the agency to decide to buy or not.

An average business does not have a choice of entering a profitable zone until 5 years after launch.  But what if you can create and position offers that will fund your marketing campaigns upfront?

I am not talking about your main offer or core product.  When you implement a funded proposal in your business, all the sales of your core product becomes pure profit.  There is a self-liquidating or tripwire offer that funds your marketing campaigns and most especially, customer list-building.  Once you have these customers in your funnel, it’s easier to sell your main core product to them.

Hopefully, you have the skills to orchestrate a sequence of offers that naturally ascends your customers through your sales funnel.   

Sales Funnels - What is a sales funnel?  Simply put, it’s the journey that you have designed for your customers to go from discovering your business to sales conversion. More often than none, one sale conversion is not enough to make your business profitable.

Like I said earlier, if your business falls within the range of an average business, you won’t be in profit for 5 years or never.  By designing a sales funnel that ensures profit upfront and funding your marketing campaign as soon as possible, your business will legally print money.

If you are able to make $1.10 every time you spend a dollar in any given year, you are effectively printing money.   How would you like it if you are able to spend $22,787.30 and generate a revenue of 49,059.80 all in less than 3 years. That’s a 60+% return on investment (ROi).

All of that happened and even more so during the covid pandemic.  It dramatically recession-proofs your business.  By the way, that’s a true story and you can replicate that result especially when you understand the power of upsell funnels.  

Upsell Funnels - Have you ever been asked “would you want fries with that?” after buying something off McDonald’s basic entry menu?  (It’s no longer called the dollar menu right? Thanks to inflation).  

What about “would you like 2 apple pies for $1.99?”  That is a real example of an upsell offer.  With digital marketing, you can create and position offers after a first offer purchase (the tripwire offer) has been initiated.

In addition to that, you can offer a downsell to customers that says no to an offer if the reason for declining is likely cost.  For example, you made an offer of $4,997 inside an upsell sales funnel, and your customer clicks “no thanks”.  

As soon as they click on that, they can be redirected to an offer with a little less feature at the price of $2,497.  Sometimes, you can also offer a payment plan.  By doing this, you can secure a sale and additional revenue that would otherwise not have happened if you are presenting to total strangers.

Check out this web-based sales funnel and list-building system if you want a free trial of marketing automation with your digital marketing efforts.  Keep in mind that we are talking about systems.  

www.myEmpirePRO.com/salesfunnel 

Inside of the system are processes such as email marketing, autoresponders, audience segmentation, customer engagement, audience growth, and more to boost your online sales.  

Typically, digital marketers use multiple tools to execute all these different techniques.  In fact, there are more than enough techniques and if you are not careful, that’s a negative thing.  It can be hard to stay focused.

Once you get the ball rolling and you fully understand this as a system, one tool can execute everything.  Sometimes, you might have different aspects of your business with their own sales processes.  But ideally, it’s better to keep all your processes in one system especially if you are new to digital marketing.  

The shiny ball syndrome is real and distractions are extremely costly.  I know because I am speaking from experience.  There are many different types of systems implementable for digital marketing.  But the best ones for what should be obvious to you after the next chapter starts with list building; audience growth.  

If you have to spend money for every unit of discovery, your business will likely go broke.  The reason why all the best businesses you know today create smartphone apps to engage you and offer rewards is to build and engage their audience on a regular basis.  The idea is to create and boost for more sales.

So in the next chapter, we are going to dive into list building.  Have you ever heard the saying “the money is in ‘the list’?”  I’ve heard some people try to dumb this down but they are also usually trying to sell something else.  List building as the front end of your sales funnel system is undefeatable and we will be talking about it.

What is a system without at least an input?  Useless right?  The sales funnel as a system is a beautiful beast but without making sure that you are feeding the beast, it’s all pointless.  In addition to that, we will be talking about quality vs quantity.  We will also talk about all the different forms of list-building and how it has evolved right before my very own eyes since 2009.

There have been many moments over the years when I derailed from this ideology.  Yes I agree.  It’s still an ideology but yielding away from it has cost me millions in losses.  Don’t make the same mistake.

There is a space from a mindset standpoint that it might seem like you can get quicker results starting your sales funnel system with asking for money from strangers.  Remember people need to feel like they know, like and trust you.  

Do you remember the KLT factor and brand equity?  How much more when you are able to fund your marketing campaigns simultaneously on the front end?

And what if the output of your sales funnel system are customers who can’t wait to buy more from you?  Then your output becomes a recursive input for your system making it faster to scale your business.  They can also buy from partners though you.

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

5 KEYS TO REKINDLING ATTRACTION DURING SEPARATION (How To Make Your Husband Want You All The Time)

We are enjoying having this conversation with you in the comment area.  Leave a question in the comment and we will address it.  If it’s more comfortable, you can also send us an email to questions@LOLAandOLA.com

  --> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/how-to-make-your-husband-want-you-all-the-time/

--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/Dd2Q8mlhyZ8

  In this video, we are adding some context to an answer we gave to Queen some few weeks back.  Be sure to check out that video.  

  It’s called “Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips!” It was also a response to an original video called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔”

  Here is her response to that video.

  “"Thank you Lola and Ola. I am grateful for you guys. You have opened a new perspective to me. I believe I should work on myself now moving forward. The period of sorrow and grief is coming to an end. 

  About the question if I am a selfish person, the answer is no. I have always given people my time, love and affection. I’d rather love others first. 

  I don’t know how to only focus on me. It’s not healthy. I’d rather give to those who need me. I never put myself first but look for the good of those around me. 

  Hence I helped hubby become who he is today. Now that he’s left I don’t understand what I did wrong to be honest. 

  We spoke a few days ago and he wanted to know what I have been up to. I don’t know why he suddenly is interested to know about my whereabouts but he will not disclose what he’s doing or how he feels. Which I find strange that he’s obsessed with knowing what I am about. 

  I think I need to be more attractive and work on myself more like you mentioned. I will revive my passions and allow time to heal like they say. 

  For now I will focus on what makes me happy and keep me focused. I believe he’s still my husband. I am also going to download your free book now." ~ Queen

So here we go.  To add some context to Queen’s comment, we have created 5 keys to rekindling attraction from a seduction standpoint during a separation.

  Let’s get into it.

Key Number 5

The Art of Obsession

  As always, this is easier said than done.  But it’s a simple concept.  What makes it complex is the complex human mind.

  When you experience rejection at any level,  it breeds obsession and anxiety.  

  But when you are able to garner some self-control and back off just a little bit, you can successfully transfer that obsession and anxiety to the other party.

  It also depends on how much damage may have occurred during the break down of the relationship.  

  If your separated spouse is not the exception minority with no emotional blood flowing in their vein, this works 100% of the time.

  So it’s pretty normal for the obsession to flip to the other side when you take time to back off and allow nature to take its course.

  If your partner needs space, things are bad already and you probably need more space than you realize.

  Key Number 4

Don't Fake The Flip

  So, I want you to allow the obsession and the anxiety to flip from you to your partner naturally and organically.  There are gurus out there teaching people to fake it.

  You can’t afford to fake this stuff because that would be a lie and that would typically mean you have to keep lying to cover up lies.  It’s not worth it because it’s too much energy trying to keep up with it.

It needs to be organic and this awareness right here will make it a little hard.  

  But the way to mitigate that is to really take this rare advantage of time apart to build yourself in every way you can think of; physically, emotionally and spiritually.

  Leave very little room to sit around and allow your mind to wander around about things you can’t control such as sorrow and grief.

  If you can do it, that’s obviously time spent away from obsessing over your estranged partner and that much time for them to start wondering about what you are up to.

  That’s literally a form of attraction.

  It’s organic and natural and proof that you can potentially rekindle attraction in a healthy way so that you can embrace it when you are ready.

  Key Number 3

Don't Run An Empty Cup

  As “Queen” just acknowledged, you can’t afford to pour love into others from an empty cup; it will only drain your energy.  

  Yes we advocate for focusing on “giving” in a healthy relationship and not the falsehood of the “give and take” ideology that a bunch of selfish people are running around with on social media.

  But please, do not take us out of context.  You simply cannot give what you don’t already have.  

  We get this question all the time… “You are telling us to just GIVE but what if we are giving so much that the other person is not reciprocating?”

  Good question.  

  But there is no better way to tell me that you are not giving anything to yourself.  You are emptying out yourself to your partner.

  That’s the only way you can have time to notice that they don’t reciprocate but you are not necessarily wrong; just a thought to consider.

  And worse, you are setting them up with false metrics of expectations that are based purely on your disappointed emotions. 

  You can’t win together like that. You might win alone and effectively destroy the relationship.  But let’s be guided.

  When you can demonstrate the ability to take care of yourself, there is almost nothing sexier than that when it comes to rekindling attraction again.

  And of course, they naturally can’t wait to get on your good side.

  Key Number 2

Be Indifferent

  Once you’ve managed to organically flip that obsession and anxiety over to the other side, do not prematurely engage.

  Sure it’s attractive but it needs to be tested with time and persistence which must be demonstrated on all sides.

  Don’t play games with this if you haven’t gone through an outright rejection from your spouse.  That will make it fake, manipulative and it can backfire badly.

  But in the case of what “Queen” described, she needs to disconnect as much as possible from wondering what she did wrong and why he is suddenly obsessed.

  The bottom line is that he is obsessed because that’s attraction at play but more importantly, how she responds to it needs to showcase indifference.

  What that means is that how you feel is neither here nor there.  You are okay with whatever the outcome is and you will take your time because you are busy learning how to take care of yourself.

  It might drive one or both of you wild.

But the attraction needs to be tested for strength because there is a real reason why a separation became reality in the first place.

  It doesn’t matter if you are “the man” or “the woman”.  The same attraction principle is applicable if you are feeling the emotions of rejection.

  You can re-engage your seduction power and redirect the course.

  Key Number 1

Self Love Is Still key

  What if you lost your partner forever?  Yea.  What if?  If you can’t handle that reality in your mind right now, it’s probably showing as needy behavior on the surface.

  That’s not sexy.

  It’s like no wonder they are running away from that.

  The moment they can see that you are capable of loving yourself adequately, they will always regret a decision of not working on your relationship.

  That self-love will attract a better companionship to you with or without your spouse; it’s non-negotiable. 

  And again, we are not talking to selfish people.  Self-love as a religious talking point and ideology can also destroy you and everything you care about.

  We are speaking from experience.  

  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Digital Marketing Certified - CHAPTER 4 - The Connection

CHAPTER 4 The Connection - So there are two types of connections I would like to share with you.  The first type of connection is how you digitally connect the value we identified in chapter 3 with the person(s) we identified in chapter 2.  And the second type of connection we will discuss is how to mentally connect your brand with the person(s).

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified-chapter-4-the-connection-content-creation/

--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/nnXem7zRQBw

Let’s take it backwards a little bit.  In the previous chapter, we talked about value.   You learned how 85-90% of actions and acquisitions are initiated and triggered as emotional reactions; some justify with logic later.  

We also reviewed a little about the motivation theories and how your competitors are probably selling products that have only 10% of the value you offer at 10 times of your prices.  And they are selling them almost effortlessly to people that may not be able to afford it ordinarily.

We reminded ourselves of the six basic human needs, certainty, variety, significance, contribution, growth, and connection.  And we discussed how you can use it to almost seem like you are creating value out of thin air.  

When your message or “the value” covers just three of these six needs, it will simply come off as stupid for your person(s) to pass on your offer.

Every website, webpage, video, image, blogpost on your hubs need to be exchanging value with the users.  A part of value is the user experience.  How they feel as they travel that journey from discovery to conversion is your responsibility precisely because it’s ultimately valuable to you and the business you are building.

What you are offering may be the best in the market but we may never find out if whatever that is doesn’t translate to what is valuable to your users.  It’s not just the product; it’s everything, even at the most micro-levels, that they will encounter in the process of interacting with your business; the experience.

So we now have to expand a little bit on value creation to create and establish strong connections digitally and mentally with your person(s).  How do you show up in their dreams at night and stress the sh*t out of their sleep if they don’t buy?

1995-1996…  Owo. Ondo State, Nigeria, West Africa.  I was a 15 or 16 years old teenager.  I would go visit my father in the office during the day where he was serving as a General Manager at his Uncle’s company.

I had been going to the office for a few years during holidays but I did it more after graduating high school.  I didn’t go to University right away because we had opted for me to come back to the United States after 12 of my developing years in Nigeria. 

I was at home for two years filling the gap of time; just waiting to secure accommodation in the States.  My father had wanted me to study Architecture; that was his dream.  

But one day during another visit to his office, I found out becoming an architect wasn’t my dream.  It was the first time a website was opened in front of me on a 3 piece-suite equipment; a personal computer.  The secretary at the office was testing it out and he would try numerous times to connect to the internet.  

Thinking about it now, it was a painful process.. But not really because the frame of reference did not involve a broadband connection as we know it today. 

It was exciting that he literally pulled up Toyota’s website that never could load a full Toyota logo; the connection was too slow.  There was a blue placeholder but it was fascinating enough at the time.  I’ve never left computing since then.

During that short break between high school and coming back to continue schooling and life in the States, I went over to the next biggest city, Akure, where I spent three months and became certified in Database Management.

I shared this story with you to establish a connection between you and the fact that the internet has grown from about 40 millions users in 1995 to more than 5 billion users at press time.  If there are internet users increasing at that pace, that means that there are producers consistently connecting them to value increasingly and making stupid amount of money doing it.

Most websites back in 1995 were designed to provide information and not initiate transactions.  But it's a different story today.  You can now buy a whole car on the internet and have it delivered to your home.

Therefore it’s no longer enough to show a logo, and the company’s mission statement.  Many businesses still have websites that can’t exchange money for product and services.  A lot of them felt the heat and disadvantage of that in 2020 when covid hit our world.  

My business doubled in that particular year because I was positioned to serve that market right from home.  Sadly, many established businesses went under for not paying attention in all these years.

You have created the right offer.  And you have done the market research, identified the right audience, the gurus and the brands they are presently following.

In fact, you are already paying time and money to attract them as visitors to your website.  But the traffic is not converting to sales quickly enough for you.  And you figured, it’s probably because you are just not getting enough traffic to the website.

So you have to come up with more funds to buy marketing and advertising in the hopes that enough prospects will convert to customers.  Soon enough, you discovered that you are just multiplying your problems with money you don’t have and garnering more debt.

It’s not working.  You quit and ran back to giving away free money to the agencies that still want to sell you newspaper and yellow book ads.  Do yellow books still exist?

It is important to pre-design and pre-determine how you want to connect your value (the offer) to the person(s) based on what type of pre-framing the person(s) (the prospect) had been exposed to.  

When your prospects know, like and trust you, they will buy without too much effort from you.  Forget about that; when they feel like they know, like and trust you, they will buy even more from you.  All of that is emotionally and mentally triggered if you know what you are doing.

I call it the KLT factor.  Does the prospect feel like he or she knows, likes and trusts you?  If you can’t answer that question, you are probably going to struggle with converting prospects to customers, clients and deals.

We use a formula called the “I.L.S.D.T.R.R” to build your KLT factor (a.k.a brand equity) in the digital space.  The acronym stands for invest, learn, share, do, teach, refine and repeat.  Let’s break it down.

The idea is to build digital agents and leave thousands of your footprints everywhere in the digital space without burning your resources up while doing it.  If you follow me on social media, you can see us practicing what we preach with literally thousands of videos and articles everywhere.

This is it.  I want you to INVEST time and possibly money in LEARNING, then SHARING what you are learning as often as possible via online videos, blogposts, infographic and more.  After that, you actually want to DO (execute on) what you are learning in order to create experience or tacit knowledge.

If your business module permits it, you can build your business even faster by taking the sharing to the next level which is actually TEACHING from your knowledge and experience for a fee or more KLT factor and brand equity.  

Then I want you to refine and repeat that process over and over again in order to create a massive web of nodes that link back to your hub.  When you do this, you will build a massive brand equity that makes it super simple to connect your value to your person(s).  

All these digital agents that you are creating will work for you forever.  You couldn’t erase them off the internet if you try to after a while.  And that is a good thing.

This is what I meant earlier when I mentioned pre-framing the prospects ahead of actually presenting them with an offer.  The connection doesn’t start at the sales presentation.  It starts before they even discover there is something to buy from you.

How cool would it be if your prospects are already asking you where to sign up before knowing if you have anything to sell or not.  That’s the outcome of orchestrating a strong connection of value with your audience upfront.

By positioning yourself and your brand to help your audience by actually helping them, their minds are pre-framed to recognize your brand and business as their problem solver.

Sure, a properly scripted sales presentation is still necessary because some of them may have skipped to that part in your customer journey.  But most of your time, energy and resource is best spent steering new prospects through a discovery point where you are actually helping them first before asking them to pay for something.

They usually start off with a question to answer or a problem to solve.  Most people appreciate some useful information first before attempting to sell them on buying stuff.

In fact, there is a sector of your market that price point is really not a determining factor in their decision making process to buy.  

It boils down to the KLT factor and brand equity.  They need to feel like they know, like and trust you.  And then they will pull out a credit card if anything remotely looks like their problem is solved.  

The return on investment in learning, sharing, doing, teaching, refining and repeating is literally infinite especially if you add consistency to it.

In the world of digital marketing, we call this content creation.  The idea is to come up with topic ideas that will appeal directly to your ideal customers’ needs.  So I want to share four idea sources that will help you generate more than enough ideas to invest time and possibly money in learning more about so you can share.

Idea Source Number 1 - Write down 10 commonly or frequently asked questions that your ideal customers tend to ask.  If this is a business that you are qualified to serve in, it should be pretty simple.

Let me give you a quick secret.  You could be learning the business at the same time, in real time and using these same content creation skills to attract a significant size of the market.  When you teach, you literally learn twice.

Most people in any business end up complacent and never learning anything new for years.  But when you use this method to create thousands of connections and digital agents for prospects before getting to see your offer, you will remain at the top of your game.

Idea Source Number 2 - For this one, come up with and write down 10 questions you would advise an ideal prospect to ask your competitors.  Of course, you want to make sure these are questions and problems that your content and products have answered and solved.

Idea Source Number 3 - Identify 10 common problems that your ideal prospect faces.  It doesn’t have to directly be linked to the problems that your product solves.

But I want you to do it because the information you will provide in the content will actually serve an audience.  But in addition to that, you may end up creating a tangible and usable solution if the piece of content is attracting a big enough audience.

Last but not least…

Idea Source Number 4 - Invest time to learn about 10 common mistakes that an ideal prospect would or could make and share each one as a piece of content.  In addition to that, share tips on how to avoid the mistakes.

I’ve used this same method of connection to build my business and the good thing about it; you can verify.  At press time, about 840 myEmpirePRO web pages are resulting and indexed on the Google Search Engine Results Page. (THE SERP).  

And on another web property that I am building with my wife, LOLAandOLA.com, about 1,370 web pages of content are resulting and indexed.   I am not even talking about other search engines such as Yahoo, Bing and many others that thrive off of picking up your content and connecting them with potential prospects all around the world for free.

65.78% of our audience at myEmpirePRO in the last 28 days from presstime are coming from the United States. 13.46% are coming from China.  3.77% are coming from Canada.  The audience or traffic were connected from 48 different countries. 

The beauty about digital marketing is the fact that you are also collecting tons of data with the various default activities of setting up and running these campaigns.  That’s why I am able to share these results with you.  In fact, you can check it yourself.

All you have to do is place this string ‘site:’ before any site with no spaces between them and search.  For example, a simple search of ‘site:myempirepro.com’ will show the top of the SERP (search engine results page) and it will show you how many pages have been indexed from the site.

What about YouTube?  We’ve published 1,304 videos and they are all working in our favor to connect more prospects to our hub.  All these digital agents are not built overnight and they don’t need to be built overnight.  

In fact, all it takes is one good piece of content to create a $10,000 day.  But that also depends on what you are selling and your business model.  You just never know what answered-question would resonate with someone’s deep pain.  The more you put out there, the better.

In order to execute a massive connection, KLT and brand equity campaign, you have to create a main online hub where everyone comes to from all these different sources you will be putting out there.  The main hub is a content management system and I recommend good ol’ Wordpress.

On the internet today, we have websites designed to simply display information like the Toyota website from 1995 in that story I shared with you earlier.  But we also have websites designed to manage databases of content, users, and users’ information.  We call them a content management system (CMS).  

You have two options.  You can build and code your CMS with all the bells and whistles that makes it a robust system to create millions of dollars in online transactions from scratch.  The second option is what I recommend which involves leveraging existing tools and systems that allow you to customize with add-ons to perform even better than systems that are built from scratch.

Which option do you think you should go with?  Okay.  That wasn’t a trick question.  It’s a simple question and it has a simple answer which is to leverage tools and systems so that you can get to making money as soon as possible.

At press time, Wordpress powers a little more than 40% of the websites online and their content management system.  I recommend it because it works just like the iPhone and the Android phones.  It’s an open source that allows vendors to continue to code additional features many of which you can leverage for free.

That’s why I recommend Wordpress in addition to the fact that I personally use it to manage my content marketing campaign.  But there are also two different kinds of Wordpress websites.

Fully-hosted Wordpress website which is host at wordpress.com and 

Self-hosted Wordpress website which means you are in full control of the features you attach to it.

You will understand fully later many reasons why it is better to go with option number 2 in addition to the fact that you are able to control how you are branded online.  

Brand control is non-negotiable as we move into the future because competition is increasing.  With a brand you create, you will eliminate a significant number of your competition because of brand loyalty; the same effect that Apple has on its customers. I recommend that you set up your self-hosted Wordpress hub with the company at this link for less than $10 per month. - myEmpirePRO.com/hosting 

All of these you’ve learned thus far without setting them up as a system is just another job that will occupy your life with redundant activities and minimum wages.  So in the next chapter, we will talk about changing these new insights into an automated system that takes your prospects on a journey from discovery to conversion and a happy customer.

By now, you are understanding slowly that setting up a website is just the bare minimum of digital marketing.  Most websites on the internet are a ghost land. No one is visiting them much less initiating a transaction.

So there is a distinct difference between a digital marketer and a website designer or developer.  The former is a minimum of a 6 figure career as a job and a 7-9 figure income when you use this skill as an entrepreneur. The latter is darn near a minimum wage job.    

With systems, you can scale a campaign beyond  what’s possible when all you’ve got are linear operations involving humans at every segment.  You will learn about  different segments in a customer’s life cycle and how systems can scale from 10 customers to 100 and to 1,000 customers being served simultaneously.

The last thing I want you to do is know all this cool stuff only to get stuck behind a laptop for 16 hours a day.  While I definitely want you to understand the concepts that make this work, I will be sharing with you how to set, forget and collect on a regular basis leveraging the concept of systems..

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

5 Signs Your Marriage is Over (My Wife Has Been GONE for a Few Months)

We love addressing you directly via the comment area.  

So please continue to leave your thoughts and questions for us to review.  We do these videos for you.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/signs-your-marriage-is-over/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/m0RWEUYOEf4

In this video, we are responding to 2 comments with the 5 signs that a marriage is over based on how a man responds to a crisis.

  Here is the first comment.

  “My wife has been gone for a few months. 10 years together and she’s just pulled the plug on all emotions she had for me. She talks and looks at me differently now. She never sees our one year old son. Wtf has happened. God I miss her 😢” ~ by Slaven Yatic

  And here is the 2nd comment.

  "Truth is she doesn’t. Folks, separation is not a good thing period. 5% of separation works and they end up back together but 80% of separation ends up in a divorce. If your partner wants a separation it means they have someone else in mind." ~ Comment by Triple A Triple a

  So here we go.

Sign Number 5

OLA - You Feel Damages Happen Overnight

  Believe it or not; most men that go through this type of trauma always feel that the woman just changed overnight.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

  Some call it “the walk away wife syndrome.”  It’s basically unhappy wives who leave their husbands… emphasis on “UNHAPPY”.  

  There is not one single event that can destroy your marriage.  And if you can’t comprehend that, comprehend this.  

  Not realizing that damages never happen overnight is a sign that your marriage is over and potentially forever.  In fact, your marriage ended a long time ago.  

  So clearly, it’s even worse that you haven’t been able to pay enough attention to detect this for potentially so long.

  She didn’t just pull the plug on emotions she had for you.  Rather, she had been disconnected from you emotionally long before you realized.

  Maybe she was trying to protect your feelings and then finally realized that it is a non-sustainable effort.  Many women try this and it always fails eventually.

  Sign Number 4

LOLA - You Use Children to Manipulate

  Naturally, a separation from family, wife or husband will create trauma for your children and that’s simply part of life.

  But let’s be honest, overreacting to this is obviously an indication that… you have probably overreacted to many other events in the past.

  The default is that your children will get dragged through the mud that you and your ex-partner-to-be have created.  It’s just the reality.

  And if you have a hard time facing reality, it is little-to-no-wonder that you will attempt to use your children’s trauma to manipulate the direction of things.  Is that what you mean by “She never sees our one year old son?”

  That, precisely, is a sign that your marriage is over.  It doesn’t have to be over, if you are willing to indulge in the possibility of a new understanding.

  Your focus needs to go into working on the evaporated attraction in your romantic relationship because it is the root cause.  It is your only point of leverage and there are any further chances.

Sign Number 3

OLA - You Think Separation is Bad

  If you think separation is bad, your marriage is probably over.  Saying that is just another manipulative measure to get a person who doesn’t want you to stay with you.

  There is no better way to tell me that you are negotiating “desire”.  It doesn't work.  In fact, it will work against your marriage.

  In addition, pushing against separation is not a way to save your marriage.  If at least one of the parties is asking for separation, that marriage is over anyway.

  But that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new foundation from scratch with or without the same person.

  As long as you are obsessed with the idea of sustaining the present terrible state of your marriage, how can you build another foundation?

  Remember the emphasis on “happy”?  How can you create happiness in a marriage where one person is not happy?

  I know what you are thinking.  Everyone is responsible for their own happiness?  You are half-wrong because how we feel is a function of our environment. 

  So as long as you are a part of your spouses’ environment, you are a factor.  You are part of the variables that determine her emotional state.

  But also vice versa.

  Do wives ever come back after separation?  The answer is “YES”.  But how likely is that to happen to you?

Sign Number 2

LOLA - You Project Stats & Data on Relationships

  Your marriage is over if you project improperly interpreted stats and data on your relationship as facts.  Your wife will not come back after separation.

  So even if we have to take “Triple A Triple a”’s comment, which is the fact that only 5% of separation works, I guarantee that your personal case will be in the 80% that end up in divorce if you project the “stat” on your relationship.

  It’s simple.  In the human experience, what you focus on expands.  That principle is undefeated just like the fact that she wants separation.

  Data and stat are mostly useful in a class and scholar activities.  

  If you are personally going through a crisis in your relationship, focus on learning what it takes to create attraction in your particular situation.  

  You can’t do that trying to smother a person who wants to leave with numbers and stats.

  Tip Number 1

OLA - You Believe She Has Someone Else in Mind

  In fact, it’s true that many women are right now trying to figure out how to leave their husbands for a different life all together; not just someone else.

  She wants to leave.  The attempt to make yourself feel better by accusing her of having someone else in mind is just another useless effort to save the marriage.

  Let’s be honest.  You will only feel worse even if it isn’t true.  Also, you are spreading unnecessary toxic energy.

  But again, I know what you are thinking.

  What if it’s true that she has someone else?

  Let me ask you the same question.  What if?

  Is that a good excuse to drag yourself further through the mud?  Is that a reality you can’t deal with without throwing your whole life away?

  If the answer is yes, have you considered it… as a good reason to obsessively smother the relationship to death? 

  We are speaking from experience.  

  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

5 "Do's & Don'ts" During Separation in Marriage (ft Obodo Oyinbo TV)

Quick story.  So my husband was on Aunty B’s platform, Obodo Oyinbo TV, in the past few days oh my God… he ended up becoming an overnight detective.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/5-dos-donts-during-separation-in-marriage/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/1ZgPFMMXE3E

  A man had called him before he called into a show making wild claims about women in Nigeria and as usual, it was obvious to him that this man was speaking from personal experience.

  The truth is that we have both men and women who perpetuate this terrible behavior once they have had  traumatic experiences in marriage or relationships.

  And nothing good comes out of it.

  So we want to share 5 "do's & don'ts" if you happen to be in a separation from your marriage at this moment.  

  We  know you will be tempted to destroy your future relationship if you don’t know these things so please, pay attention.

Thing Number 5

OLA: Don’t Focus on Whose Fault; It’s Irrelevant

  After about 30,000 views, what I always knew was confirmed.  He was projecting from his personal experiences.

  He is presently separated from his wife who he had met in Nigeria while visiting.  So the wife had recently asked for divorce.

  So he decided he wanted to help others who may be captured by the evil women who are poor and live in Nigeria; according to him.

  After getting dragged on that platform so many times, there was one thing that really stood out to me and this is it.

  He was obsessed with who was at fault for the demise of the marriage.  Not just that, we are talking about a need to spell out every fault at every stop since he met the lady.

  If you are in separation and you want the outcome of the process to be positive, you have two choices.

  Decide that no one is at fault or… 

  The 2nd choice, which is “both of you are at fault”; unless of course, someone had a gun to their head during the decision to engage in a romantic way.

Thing Number 4

LOLA: Don’t Attempt Saving Others Before Healing

  So we get it.  You’ve just gone through a very traumatic situation and experience.  Your experience is valid but you need to believe that.

  Naturally, if you consider yourself “nice” or “good”, you might want to jump out there and save everyone else from people like your ex-partner who is now a bad person I guess…

  Don’t do it.  You will end up re-creating your own version of your experience in others and they will effectively project it further into our society… 

  …when it is in-fact, not necessarily their experience.

  It’s a fact that your ex-partner had their own experience. This is why those who don’t know any better end up calling each other liars; making things worse.

  Stay away from trying to help others until you make sure you’ve gone through healing.

  And have peace with the idea that it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault.

  Thing Number 3

OLA: Let Go In Every Sense

  Generally speaking, letting go is one of the hardest things for humans to do.  People would yell out things like “I don’t care” with such anger.

  You would be left to wonder…”Do you believe that you don’t care or you need to convince yourself even more?”

  It’s confusing at best.  Sure you should be able to tell your story.  But you should only do it within a controlled context and environment.

  Letting go, self control and awareness is key but hard.  Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?

  Thing Number 2

LOLA: Engage a Wise Counsel

  There is a good chance you are not able to smell your own breath.  You can barely see your own nose.  Maybe if you calm down, you can at least see a blurry version of it.

  The point I am making is this.  Separation from a marriage is tough on a human heart.  Take some time off and engage wise counsel.

  We all have a blind spot by default.  So how much more when everything you believed when it comes to romance is being questioned.

  Thing Number 1

OLA: Don’t Generalize! It’s a sign of a weak person…

  Let me ask that question I asked previously again.  Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?

  Or maybe this time, you’ve managed to camouflage it as a generalized story that you have become an evangelist for.

  You find yourself saying things like “American women are not good wives.”  You’ve perfected the art of saying “All Nigerian men are cheaters.”

  I’m just gonna be straight up with you.  There is no better way to tell us that you need counseling and possibly therapy than showcasing a habit of generalizing.

  It’s a red flag.  You shouldn’t be advising or trying to save anyone.

  It’s projection at best.  There is no way that you know enough people to be capable of generalizing in the name of helping someone.

  You will end up making more people toxic than you help if at all..

  We are speaking from experience.  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video. 

  Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Digital Marketing Certified - CHAPTER 3 - The Value

It means a lot of different things to people depending on where they are standing.  But in this chapter, my goal is to first make sure we are standing in the same position before extracting the actual value I want to share with you.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified-chapter-3-the-value/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/lrpQJM1z4mk

You are reading this book because you are trying to build a business or organization of some sort right? If that’s the case, keep reading.

In the last chapter, we talked about “the person(s)” as one of the pillars we must clearly identify before trying to set up marketing campaigns in the digital era.  A failure to do this will simply defeat the purpose; which I am hoping is partly the benefits of tracking down every penny and making sure it doubles itself.

You also learned how my 500 and change in credit score saved me from early life bankruptcy.  Personally, I’ve had some ups and downs naturally in the type of risky and non-conventional journey I chose to embark on; becoming an entrepreneur.  But it’s never gotten so bad that I had to file for bankruptcy.  Thank goodness.

More importantly, you also learned how lack of proper market research and competition analysis can result in losing your life savings and/or capital; $10 at a time.  We reviewed the dangers of passion-driven biases, the greatest market research tool which is free, seed keyword and keyword phrases, the role of Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning in market research and more.

Last and definitely not all and for sure, not the least, we talked about the two different categories of your ideal customer and client and the four stages they have to travel in order to not just maximize profits for your business but to deliver value.

And speaking of value, I became dangerous and over-valued for the 9-5 world since I learned what you are about to discover in this chapter.

It was 2014 and I had been helping quite a few people I met in the internet and network marketing world make their first $100, $1,000, $200,000 and even $4 million completely online.  Not just that, I did very well with my business too.

But the honest truth is that I had not fully grasped the magnitude of the value in what I had learned.  On my best day ever, I was able to use written text and words to convert complete strangers into a $15,000 sales.  And I did it multiple times over.  Somehow, I had acquired a skill set that could collect such an amount of money in exchange for a digital product without being physically present to sell.

Before that, my best day ever was back in real estate when I closed a deal that created a net profit of $82,000. 

But let’s put things into perspective right?  There are a lot of things that go into the process of closing real estate deals and it wasn’t easy to say the least.  I could potentially sit around for months and not close another deal.

In addition to that, a whole real estate property belonging to a person or a family is involved.  It’s a big deal in terms of vested interest involved when a decision is made to buy or sell real estate in comparison to an online transaction; especially back then.  

But these days, people are more comfortable with purchasing a whole car online.  So it’s actually gotten a whole lot easier provided you are able to communicate the value proposition effectively.

I will forever be grateful to gentlemen; Mike Dillard and Ben Settle, for learning these skill sets from them as far back 2009/2010.  I do not think they know who I am at all.  But it doesn’t matter because you are about to learn the skills more than 10 years later.

Sales is hard for an average human being.  Most people are only comfortable selling a resume.  And to be honest, it’s because of the dependency on the credentials and the experience to do the selling for them in a non-confrontational way.

It’s actually similar to why an estimated 77% of people hate public speaking.  According to many studies, people actually fear public speaking more than death.  They get bombarded by panic and a paralyzing fear of guess what; rejection.  I personally still hate the feelings of being rejected.

When you pay close attention to what I just said, it’s not the actual rejection.  It’s the “feeling” of being rejected that paralyzes people to avoid sales, public speaking or being in any position where the ultimate desire is to be accepted.  It’s fascinating to know.

So many people fantasize about the idea of a big business.  But then the fear of being rejected becomes a huge huddle in their way directly or indirectly.  

Even if you are a person who is naturally okay with sales, it's a challenge to build a sales team with a decent attrition rate which is the rate at which people leave your organization or team.  People find it a lot easier to use a resume or CV to sell their time in exchange for less than $50 per hour than to sell even air to breathe.

You can invent the best product in the world.  If you are terrible at communicating the value in it to a prospect, you won’t be able to afford its production sooner or later.

Another struggle is the inability for a lot of people to know the difference in personal values and the value in a product for prospects.  

Why do people window-shop?  I’ll tell you why.  A prospect can want a product and not be able to afford it.  Sometimes, it’s just the wrong timing.  But that’s not the reason why people are not buying your product or services.  

The reason why people chose not to purchase from you is because you failed to transfer enough value in a way that it’s valuable to them.  It was a negative choice against added value for your business.

Value in this context is in the eyes of the user or consumer and not in the eyes of the producer.  Value is absolutely not an objective truth; it’s subjective but only until you learn what I want to share with you right now.

So it’s one thing to know the benefit of your product or service, it’s completely another thing to know how to transfer the value of those benefits to the prospects in order to buy now.

I am sure you have probably learned about the differences between features and benefits before.  Well, this is an additional layer to the madness.  But when you master this skill set, you will become dangerously profitable as your competitors drown in debt.

Oxford dictionary calls sales the exchange of a commodity for money but it also calls it the action of selling something.  But then what is selling?  If you are able to transfer value to your potential customers and clients at scale using written words, what would that mean for your business?

According to INC magazine, a Harvard professor says 95% of purchasing decisions are subconscious.  I personally learned a long time ago that 85% of sales are initiated emotionally and they justify with logic later.  

So while you may present with all the facts and figures to back up your own version of the value that the product and services offer, you will fail 85%-95% of the time because you are selling the wrong value to the wrong side of the human mind. It’s a hard pill to swallow.

Have you ever heard the saying “Facts tell but story sells?”  Storytelling is a highly profitable skill to learn and no amount of facts, data and statistics can engage the human mind like a good story.  It’s not necessarily the easiest thing to do but it’s non-negotiable when we create an offer.    

The key in successfully transferring the value to your prospect or dare I say, sometimes manufacturing value out of thin air in a way that is perceived by your prospect, is to tap into their real motivation to buy.  I promise you.  It has nothing to do with doing the “right” thing.

Why do people buy?  Seriously, why do people buy into anything, ideas, ideologies, belief system, a product, a service or anything?  What motivates them to buy?  By now, you should get the gist.  It’s not logical.

Is it because they need it, they want it, can afford it?  Let’s be honest.  People buy things they can’t afford all the time, right?  

In fact, for every time you engage unnecessary empathy around the decision of a person not buying from you for affordability reasons, they probably just spent ten times your price on a ten times worse competitor’s product or service.  So affordability is rarely even a motivator to buy a product or not.

There are many motivation theories from numerous studies and I love them all.  But allow me to share a few with you and then I will share my favorite.  

Maslow’s need hierarchy theory is based on people's basic five need-levels namely; survival, safety, love or belonging, self-esteem and self-actualization.  I personally would add “a sense of” to each one of those because people don’t even assess those things logically.  They are mostly based on feelings at an emotional level.

Also, there is Herzberg’s motivational and hygiene factors.  Have you heard of McClelland's human motivation theory which states that every person has one of three main driving motivators: the needs for achievement, affiliation (sounds like belonging again), or power.  These are all mindsets.

People would buy things just because of a sense of belonging even when it directly offers no tangible value to them.  So when designing a marketing and sales message around your product and service, you have to be careful with your definition of value.  

The key thing to always remember is that it’s in the eyes of your prospect and rarely ever about your personal belief system.   While you should be absolutely confident about the value you feel your product and service offers, you need to remain aware that it’s about making that confidence contagious enough for the prospect to feel that level of confidence, pull the credit card out and buy now.

So you have managed to come up with a good product in your opinion.  People are checking it out but they are not buying.  In fact, you know a few of these prospects personally and you’ve deemed their excuses legitimate enough to keep looking for the right customer.

NEWSFLASH:  It’s either you haven’t made an offer or you’ve got a bad offer.  What is an offer and how is that different from a product?  

An offer is a presentation of a product beyond just the product. Some kind of tangible or intangible element has been added to make the product compelling enough to make them buy now.  In essence, a product is just a product but “buy and get one free” is an offer.

The product will always be available but there is no guarantee that the offer will be available if you do not buy right now.  As for intangibles, the same can be said about “a limited time” discounted price.  Again, the product or at least an indirect competition to the product will always be available but there is no guarantee there will be a discount at a later time.

But these are the obvious ones you’ve encountered at a mall before.  Let’s get back to using text and words to make a prospect buy from you now and not later.  It’s nothing other than your ability to communicate the value proposition with the subconscious mind.  

My favorite of the motivation theories is said to have been birthed by Sigmun Freud but it was made famous by Abraham Maslow.  I discovered it through Tony Robbins.

The six basic human needs are love or connection, variety, significance, certainty, growth, and contribution.  If you are able to stimulate a sense of these needs at a subconscious and emotional level inside of your prospects mind, you will damn near print money on-demand.

What it looks like is to spell and trace out an emotional journey from discovery to feeling absolutely stupid for not figuring out a way to buy now.  Sure there will be situations where a buyer is unable to buy.  But what you want is your prospects sending messages expressing their fear of missing out on an offer.

If you can craft a message in a way that they feel left out if they don’t buy, the idea of buying is exciting, they can feel a sense of a certainty in the promised transformation into a desired state of some kind of advancement, they feel even more important, and feel like your offer will make them create a desired impact on society, then your product will have a chance of delivering the value it was intended for. 

A good product or service solves a problem, answers a question or replaces pain with pleasure or relief.  Stating out the features, benefits, problem, solution, question and answer is not enough.  

You will create more customers and clients in your business when you spell out the pain, the desired pleasure or relief especially when you are able to qualify them from a place of feelings or emotions.

Can you use words to communicate the expected transformation?  Can you imagine what the pain of the present state of your customer feels like?  When you can communicate the emotional state after the transformation that your product and service has delivered, you will dominate your market. 

As I told you towards the end  of last chapter, your customer will travel through four main stages namely:

Discovery

Awareness

Consideration and…

Conversion

The transition between each one of these stages is a conversion and you are responsible to persuade your prospect through each one of these transitions and segments.  In digital marketing, we use a mix of words, images, videos and creatives to compel them to advance to the next level or segment.

This is what I want you to do in order to put a seal on the secret you just discovered in this chapter. There are some copy elements I want you to start paying attention to in the various marketing messages that you encounter henceforth.  I promise.  You will start noticing them on all your favorite social media platforms now.  You probably found this book through one of my ad creatives and copy.

For the rest of this book, we may refer to the front end discovery level marketing message as creatives.  It simply means the actual visuals that you see first, be it words, images, videos, slides, etc. The idea is to get you to a space where you are absolutely intentional on how you craft the message.

Most of the social media platforms land you on a news feed as soon as you login.  That space is one of the most valuable spaces on the whole internet and the platforms are very aware of that.  That’s why they sell opportunities to post your messages on the news feed for a fee.

It’s the same concept of the newspaper selling ad spaces inside a newspaper and other news channels since the ancient Roman times.  When you manage to get your message on these pages, you have three seconds or less to capture the attention of your ideal audience and sell them on advancing from discovery to awareness. 

It’s in your best interest to learn the art and sciences of using words and text to persuade your audience to take the actions you desire on your creatives.  It’s called copywriting and the elements in it are called ‘copy”.  

You can also use the same skill set in presentation to capture the heart of a c-suite panelist and get them to buy your offers.  In fact, this understanding will be responsible for your ability to create irresistible offers.

When your prospect resists your offers, they will lose sleep over it and will not have peace until they come back and buy your product and services.  It has nothing to do with the actual product.  But it has everything to do with how owning your product or using your service makes them feel.

When you see a post with a label “Sponsored” next to it, become obsessed with the “copy”.  Can you see how the copywriter was able to capture your attention?  What color combinations are used? What solution is being offered to solve what problem and how are they promising some kind of relief to what pain?

Go ahead and save as many sponsored feed posts as possible, review and study them like your life depends on it.  They will become a swipe file of creatives to model your execution after when we get to that stage.

In the next section, we will start talking about the  processes and how you can automate more than 90% of it to get more leads, customers, clients and more deals.  We are going to start with the process that connects the persons as discussed in chapter 2 with the value as we have just discussed in this chapter.0

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

5 Positive Signs During Separation

Quick story.  About 7 months ago, she decided to go for trial separation but things have basically been in a limbo since then.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE

https://lolaandola.com/5-positive-signs-during-separation/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/042d0e2lzbI

  At the time, she was 8 months pregnant and taking care of 2 kids at the same time with no help whatsoever from the husband.  

  She would complain but he would just apologize and promise to work on it; then repeat the same cycle over again.

  So she got tired of the empty promises and went for the trial separation.  She thinks she is seeing some changes now but not too sure if he's faking it or he's actually doing the work.

  There have been times in the past that she thought things were better even up to a year ago, forgave… but now... she wouldn't even allow him to touch her.

  She claims the sex was horrible because of how she felt towards him at the initiation of the trial separation.

  Though she took full responsibility for her portion of the decline in the marriage, he refused to see any issues which left her with no choice but to let him figure himself out.

  Hence the separation that started 7 months ago.

  Now, she is feeling much better but wants to know if there are any positive signs to look out for during this separation to determine if it's working in the favor of the marriage or if it's a lost cause.

  So we want to share just five signs with you to look out for to determine if a good and healthy reunion is in sight.

  Sign Number 5

Becoming Friends

  Sadly in these modern times, most people trying to fight for their marriage end up in big English grammatical echo chambers where all they will learn is how to diagnose their partners psychologically.

  You will hear diagnoses such as narcissism, controlling, insecure etc... to the point where they don't know how to recognize normal interaction any longer.

  The sad part is that people, even when they are not professionals or have any experience, will make blanket bold statements such as once a... (fill in the blank)... always a (fill in the blank.)

  So it becomes extremely hard to see a simple positive sign in separation such as becoming friends again.

  This one thing is priceless and you can't buy it with money.  Believe it or not, you can buy a wife, a husband, a girl or boyfriend.  But you can't buy a friend.

  So if you are in the middle of separation and you are noticing that friendship is finding its way back, that is a strong foundation to build upon if you are willing.

  Sign Number 4

Sharing Space

  Well, the whole point of separation also involves physical distance.  But we are humans and distance, they say, makes the heart fonder.

  This is especially true if there was some type of friendship before things went completely left.  If that was the case, friends who are also lovers tend to find their way back into the same space.

  Maybe not necessarily living under the same roof, but you find that you are able to share space together even if it's with other mutual friends.  

  That, my friend, is a great foundation to start working on your marriage together.

  Many separated couples do not have that luxury and it's worth appreciating and leveraging as a positive sign during your separation.

  Again... simple but powerful.

  Sign Number 3

Share Entertainment

  Every separation comes with some damages that can creep back as resentments and try to destroy your marriage even after reconciliation and reuniting back together.  

  With the right tools, you can and will sustain such forces.

  You are in a team together so you ultimately have a better leverage against any outside forces if you are aware of your power as a team.

  Quick story.  

  For us... even after creating some damage, we would end up sitting and watching TV shows together, sharing links of memes, funny and viral videos back and forth.

  If you are blessed with this type of scenario, that is a positive sign during separation.

  Sign Number 2

Acceptance

  Naturally you are observing your partner.  

  I say that because you may be using the "no contact rule" as a tool to boost attraction but hopefully-primarily to take time to boost your self confidence and self esteem.

  But naturally you are observing your partner… at least occasionally.  

  We are talking about your spouse here... in the middle of probably the painful experience of separation on both sides.

  So you are observing if we are being honest.  

  In that observation, are you noticing more acceptance of the reality of the possibility of the marriage ending for good?

  I know this may be counter-intuitive.

  But if you are noticing this, that's what you need because it's a sign of wholesomeness on your partner's part. It means the quality of being beneficial and generally good for you.

  When you are self-sustainable as individuals, you dramatically increase the chance that your marriage will be self-sustainable and not drain life out of one or both of you.

  Let me ask you a question... 

  Can you personally and confidently survive and thrive if you have to do that without your husband?

  Please answer in the comment space below.

  Sign Number 1

Sex

  Listen. You are humans like the rest of us here.  If you mistakenly broke your own rule and have sex with your partner during separation, that's could be a positive sign.

  Sex can also be a negative sign.  You may just be addicted to a terrible sex-based relationship.  

  If you are D or P whipped, when you clearly feel terrible emotionally after the session, that's a negative sign.

  But if you lined up the other signs from sign number five to two that we previously shared with you, this is definitely a positive sign that you can turn into a foundation.

  Speaking of foundation...

  Don't attempt reconciliation or getting back together without engaging in good counsel, coaching or therapy.  Healing is necessary in order to not create the same bad cycle all over again.

  We are speaking from experience.  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video. 

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Digital Marketing Certified - CHAPTER 2 - The Person(s)

Exactly who are you trying to serve leveraging digital marketing?  I know you want to make more money.  But where is this money coming from?

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified-chapter-2-the-persons-target-audiences/

--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE

https://youtu.be/RNQfkWtdyAA

  Money comes from only one place.  It doesn’t fall from the sky.  We do not pluck it from a tree.  It comes from other people.  The money you are going to make comes from other people right?

In the previous chapter we talked about setting goals; smart goals to be precise.  We also talked about why the desire to help someone is not enough to run a successful digital marketing campaign.  

It definitely is not enough to “want” to be an entrepreneur. I also want to be Elon Musk within the next 24 hours.  It’s highly unlikely that’s going to happen right?

So the  act of “wanting something” is not enough, you will increase your chances of success when you set specific, meaningful, measurable and achievable goals.

We also talked about the differences between setting goals at micro and macro levels of the experience for your prospects, customers, clients, partners and whatever your audience is. 

And I gave you actionable steps and real life examples of goal statements. That exercise was necessary because it represents the foundation of your journey in your digital marketing endeavors.  

You will encounter multiple layers of variables that can turn to very complex problems that can potentially include losing serious money and worse; time and energy.

So it’s important to always reference that chapter if you ever feel lost in your business with regards to marketing and promotion in a digital age.

As a typical human being, you will get in over your head and lose focus at some point.  It’s inevitable.  But you can always trace your step backwards as far as to your original smart goal when necessary.  I promise.  It will happen.

In this chapter, we are going to talk about the person and not the people.  I know I just said money comes from people.  But if you don’t understand these people at a person by person level, you will miss it completely.  Hence this lesson presented as a full blown chapter.

In December 2004 during my first encounter with real estate, I was so excited that I dropped a private class I was taking in mobile application development.  Those were the days when you couldn’t watch long videos in the palm of your hands on the go.  

We were learning coding, programming and simulating everything you know today as your smart phone in virtual environments.  It was also my senior year studying Computer Engineering at New Jersey Institute of Technology (NJIT).

A friend of mine, (his real name starts with an ‘F’ but I will call him Jason)... He had informed me about a real estate home buying seminar in East Orange, New Jersey  which he never showed up to.  But I was sucked into real estate for life.  It hit home for me.  

Wow.  I could just leverage mortgages to become a landlord who collects money month in and month out. So I started going on appointments to look at every house listed on the market starting with one house in Belleville… even though my credit score would have put me in a terrible position of high interest rate at the time. 

The mortgage officer at the seminar had told me that my “500 and change” credit score will get me a property and I would become a landlord in a few weeks.  A few weeks later, I stumbled into a late night infomercial and before I knew it, I ended up at another seminar which cost $3,000 that I didn’t have.  

My friend Jason had agreed to partner up with me leveraging his credit card in exchange for paying it back in a few weeks with interest.  Again, Jason did not show up but I was so excited that I could never forget that generosity as a foundation to what I am sharing with you today.

If he had shown up, I would have ended up on the wrong path which involved just any house without proper assessment.  But what do I mean by assessment?

You see… Jason had agreed to partner up to buy a bunch of houses with me but not having easy access to buying by myself led me down the route of learning marketing properly.  At first, it was about real estate right?

What I learned eventually is that it wasn’t about houses and real estate per se.  It was more-so about finding deals and creating a profitable path starting from the beginning.

And that wasn’t the end of it.  Profitable deals are sourced from real people’s stories and real life problems.

The common denominator in all of that and across multiple types of businesses is people, the endless questions they have in life and the inevitable problems they face in the pursuit of happiness.  And in order to understand your market at a basic and foundational level, it’s wiser to understand “the person”.

So in the rest of this book, we may call it your market, your audience, the people, the avatar or the person.  Who is the ideal person that your product, service or offer is designed for?  

This person has a problem, a question or void and the value that your business brings is designed to fill that void.

The biggest mistake that the losers of digital marketing are making today is the assumption that everyone is their ideal customer.  As soon as you post something on social media, you are asked to boost it with $10 in ad spend.  And after spending that $10, it’s crickets.

Of course anyone can become a connection to an ideal client for your business, but it’s not wise to throw time, energy and money at everyone’s attention without proper market research and analysis.  You will lose money.

There are two parts to market research and analysis which are absolutely necessary if you are going to spend your hard earned resources on digital marketing.  The first part is about determining the market size.  The second part is to realistically figure out how much of that market share you can cover; competition analysis.

It’s very likely that you are not the first to offer the solution that your product and services offer right?  And if you are the first, that is not necessarily a smart move; you better know what you are doing.

Many times, I hear aspiring entrepreneurs proudly boast about being the first to do something.  Listen.  It’s most likely that you will not be Bill Gate or Elon Musk.  These are historical “firsts” of tools that we all enjoy today but this kind of entrepreneurs come but once in a lifetime.

So let’s be realistic.  Your product, service, offer and/or business have direct and indirect competition.  That means you are not going to be able to capture 100% of the market share.  

The market is going to have segments that are highly competitive and other segments with low competition.  The low competition segments tend to also have a lower percentage of the market share.

But the real question is this.  Is there a market?  Is there a “person” who has a direct or indirect need for the solution that your business offers? If there is, how many persons can we realistically identify?  

Last but not least, is there any other business or anyone else already providing a similar or indirect solution to these people’s problems?

These are the questions that must be answered before you try to set up a digital marketing campaign in order to avoid losing money or worse; time and energy.

Let’s make it clear.

Market Size

Competition Analysis

 When you determine the size of the market first, you are able to decide from the beginning if a market or business is worth going after or not.  If you don’t, you may just be moving off your own passion-driven biases.  As a human being, you naturally gravitate toward certain types of businesses for different reasons.

Maybe a friend of yours seems to be enjoying a business model and the reality is that you truly do not know the intricacies of what it takes to be in that business successfully or to look like success on the outside.

 You don’t know what you do not know.  Many businesses are laundromats and many people will take Peter’s money to pay Paul just to look like success on the outside.   And many do that as a strategy of hope.  Hope is a terrible marketing and business strategy.

So instead of operating your marketing from a place of hope down the line, you are able to assess the market size and see upfront if it’s worth going into a particular business or not.  

The same is applicable at the microlevel of a business.  You may be considering opening a different department.  It’s going to cost you time, energy, money and other types of resources.  Before engaging those resources, determine the market size and do a competition analysis.

You may identify some risk and you may just identify an opportunity bigger than what you envisaged.  The benefits of doing this assessment is much more than avoiding a negative risk.  It’s just a profitable habit to get into overall as an existing or aspiring entrepreneur.

To perform market research and competition analysis, there are simple, fun, free and paid tools available.  But they are useless if you don’t even know what you are looking for.  The most popular of them is the almighty search engine; Google.

At press time, Google is the biggest and most popular search engine that we all run to when we have a question.  Dare I say, almost all research starts from Google including medical research by a medical doctor who may be getting ready to put an incision in you or your children’s body.

I know that’s scary right?  But that’s the reality.  I don’t know when you are reading this book and I don’t know tomorrow.  Hopefully, I will continue to get the opportunity to update and offer new versions as we evolve into an ever evolving digital world.

So maybe the hottest search engine when you are reading this won’t be Google but it will always be some kind of search Engine.  As humans, we are always searching, asking and creating new problems to solve.  If you understand this, you will always be in business successfully.

Whatever your biggest and most popular search engine is will be your number one market research and analysis tool.  Not the only one but always a great place to start from.

 You can start by searching a seed keyword or keyword phrase on the search engine.  What you will discover is the beginning of a journey through a rabbit hole with lots of useful information that will fuel your present level of excitement about the business you are trying to initiate.

This information will be grouped into a group of seven different categories listed as follows or similar.

Category Number 1: Observe the top 10 results generated by the search engine result page also known as the SERPS.  Open each one of the results and see how your competitors are already offering solutions to your market.  Also, determine how many pages are offering results already.

Category Number 2:  Observe the top 10 automatically suggested searches by the search box.  You may notice that as you are typing your seed keyword or keyword phrase, the search area is also auto-suggesting and attempting to populate the area ahead of you.  

Take note of the different phrases from the artificial intelligence of the search engine.  Each one of these is likely an additional opportunity for you to serve and make more money.

Category Number 3: Observe the “People also ask” section of the SERP. You will see the question that other people similar to people who search your seed keyword or keyword phrase are searching on the search engine.  These are additional opportunities that most people engaging in digital marketing are not taking advantage of.

Category Number 4: If you are trying this on a smart mobile phone, I want you to observe the “People also search for” section for more ideas on angles to serve this market from.  

Quick question.  How many people advertising online today would you guess are patient enough to do this much market research before wasting thousands of dollars on digital marketing?

Category Number 5:  There is another section which may not show on every device called the “Refine This Search” section.  You should pay attention to it.  This is the machine attempting to help your audience narrow down their search faster and easier to the answer.

The machines don’t create these answers from thin air.  These are answers from your competitors being fed to a person who is potentially an ideal client of yours.  When they are ready to spend money, guess whose pocket that money is going into.  Your guess is as good as mine. 

Category Number 6:  Sometimes, your seed keyword or keyword phrase is too narrow for the search engines to find meaningful results and it can tell because of the growing machine learning and artificial intelligence technology.

So there is a section mostly on smart mobile phones called “Broaden This Search” on the SERP.  This section will give additional ideas of exactly what is in the mind of that person that potentially and possibly-desperately needs your service.

Category Number 7: This section is probably the one you are familiar with if you also use Google to answer every question that comes to mind like me.  It’s called the “Related Searches” section and it’s usually at the bottom of the screen if you are on a desktop.  

If this section is populated, it’s an indicator that there is a market for the business you have in mind.

This is what I want you to do.  I want you to come up with a seed keyword phrase for your business using this formula.  The phrase will start with one of seven different types of phrases.

“I want to…”

“How to…”

“How do I”

“How can I…”

“What is…”

“Where is the nearest…”

“Where is the closest…”

I want you to end each one of those phrases with a phrase that represents what your business offers.

For example, my digital marketing consulting business market research would start with “I want to market my business on Google.”  Another example could be “where is the nearest digital marketing consultant?” 

Come up with 100 different phrases like that for your business and attempt to search each one of them on your favorite search engine like Google, Yahoo or YouTube which is the 2nd biggest search engine at press time.

The top of the search engine result page will actually tell you how many results are generated.  That’s a starting indicator of how many pages are competing for the attention of your ideal person, audience, market, customer or client.

After this exercise, you would have gotten to know that “person” a little more.  And that means you are better equipped to serve the person a little bit more than your average competitor.  It's a competitive advantage at worst.

  Most people are going to shy away from this exercise and that increases your chances of dominating your market and leaving scraps for the rest.

These persons that your business will serve are in two different categories.  They are probably searching for a solution already and secondly, they are already following your competitor.

Market research and competition analysis gives you an opportunity to find out where they are spending their time with that smart device in their hands and legally stealing them from your competitors.

The first category is called the intent based market audience and the second category is called the interrupt market audience.  Let’s quickly break it down.

The intent based market audience is actively in the middle of intentionally searching and looking for a solution that your business provides.

On the flip-side, the interrupt-based market audience is not actively searching for a solution but we’ve been able to track their activities online and determine their interest based on their online behavior.

In that case, they would be interrupted in the middle of other unrelated activities online in order to get into their discovery zone. The journey of your ideal “person(s)” travels through four main stages namely:

Discovery

Awareness

Consideration and…

Conversion

In chapter 3, we will be diving through “value”, how to identify it and leverage it to create a smooth transition for your person(s), the market, from discovery all the way through conversion into a customer and long term client and even beyond.

In fact, with this same concept, you will be able to turn a decent percentage of your best clients to loyal evangelists for your business therefore creating even more revenue; all thanks to value.

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Digital Marketing Certified - Chapter 1 - The Goal

Previously in Digital Marketing Certified, I shared a little bit of my story, my path to and through digital marketing from investing $2,000 to making $12.   I also shared how it’s actually worse to get stuck in a rat race as an entrepreneur.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified-chapter-1-the-goal/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE

https://youtu.be/zIBMl8QD4Js

  You probably also learned for the first time that it’s cheaper and much more effective and efficient to leverage digital marketing to build a business than it is to spend your hard earned money on billboards and yellow books.

Okay.  I know I didn’t mention yellow books yet.  But you should know that it’s probably the biggest scam of the 2010’s because many people still spent millions of dollars literally on those two marketing channels long after it had become obsolete.  Sure we still received it at the house but they went straight into the garbage right?

I am glad you are still reading because we are actually just getting started.  Just like the last 10 years of digital marketing, that was all introduction.

This whole thing is about to be better and more exciting.  We are just scratching the surface.  And I’ve promised from the beginning, I want to take you on a journey that is so self explanatory, you couldn’t wait to apply to your own businesses and endeavors.

If you are like me, you shy away from attention.  It’s like a taboo to seek attention beyond the average level of attention that you get when you go to work daily.  But fortunately or unfortunately, you have to get attention when you have a product or service to offer.  You can’t get stuck with that “I’m conservative” excuse.

I am speaking from experience.  I know it may be hard to believe but I am introverted to a large extent.  My natural instinct is to keep things quiet and win quietly.  But that won’t work when you have a business to run with a goal to at least create more positive impact. Precisely, you need attention.

So Lisa just wanted to make money.  That was the goal she thought.  She had spent probably about $2,300 or more in different digital products in efforts to make money online.  Not only that, she had abandoned some other traditional business she was trying to build.

This was the very early days of marketing online and it was an exciting idea particularly for those who were tired of chasing family and friends around to support their little businesses.  For some people, the goal had become to shame those who never supported them, to prove a point or to seek validation from the wrong sources.

Lisa had just lost her life savings on investing in a traditional business and she wanted to make some quick money so that she can prove to herself that she can do it.  But that is “it?”

This is also a tell-tale sign and little-to-no wonder why she lost money in the first place.  Do you notice the vague nature of her goals?

Many people jump into digital marketing just like Lisa.  It’s either a goal with respect to sentiments or goals set in the wrong direction.

The truth is that there are more than enough platforms online that will take your money and send you back into the streets without apologizing for it.  It’s your responsibility to turn profit and their responsibility to take your money in exchange for access to the advertising platform.

After my first consultation with her, it was clear to me that we couldn’t move forward until I helped her set clear and concise goals.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.

“What’s your goal?” “I want to get more clients.” “Why?” “Because I want to.”  “Okay.  I can’t help you.” “Why not?”  “Because I can’t.” “Okay thanks.”  That’s literally but probably an oversimplified version of the conversations.  

But it’s actually worse now because anyone can jump on an advertising platform and lose money because it’s accessible.  

Many of the online and social media ad platforms are advertising the easy to get started message.  So people are jumping on, setting up an account without setting goals properly.

Digital marketing is a beautiful development in recent and modern times but there are more variables and layers to it than a typical human mind can contain or sustain at any point in time.

Therefore it’s easy to lose track of activities and potentially lose money just by the mere fact that you know what you want.  You know your business more than anyone else and I’m sure you think you know who your ideal customers and clients are.  

But that’s a problem.  Let me explain.

For everything that you know about anything in life, there is always a blindspot.  You can also think of such blindspot as a function of your biases based on your past experiences.  Traditionally, that would be good enough to carry you for up to 5 years or even more with advertising your product and services.

However like everything else now in the human experience, what you knew yesterday can be easily obsolete today just like that.  Things are moving so fast that the human brain can’t keep up.  And what does this have to do with setting goals in digital marketing?

Wait.  I’ll get there.  As I was saying, you think you know your business.  In fact, you too have your social media profile and participate as a consumer on those various platforms; but that’s it.  As a consumer, you know these things.

In this book, we are focused on what it takes to be a profitable producer for the various digital platforms.  Everything happens so fast and it will be a losing battle to attempt to keep up with it just by knowing what you want.

Knowing what you want is not enough to run digital marketing campaigns successfully.  It’s precisely a good way to lose money or lose time and energy or run campaigns that will frustrate you and make you resent the idea of digital marketing all together.

Instead, I want to help you set smart goals.  S.M.A.R.T goals.  I promise.  I am not talking about vision boards.  And I am not knocking vision boards either.  But they can be as vague as they get.

Knowing what you want is a good place to start but it needs to be aligned with quantifiable business goals and objectives.  

Too many people work for 10 years or more, save good money and build excellent credit, run to the bank to get a loan.. Just off knowing what they want.

I have way too many stories of people who have had to start from scratch like that.  Some of them even lose their family because of the financial stress on the relationships they care about.  I can tell you that it starts from the foundation.

Once you’ve identified what you want from digital marketing, be it leads, sales, customers, clients, deals or to recruit quality team members into your organization, then it’s time to put that into black and white, assess and align with your business goals. 

I want you to trace it to actual profits or whatever you want to call it in order to be able to afford doing it.  The way I was raised, I also tend to shy away from the idea of maximizing profits.  So I understand when people say things like “I just want to help people.”

That’s cute.  But you also want to be able to afford doing it over and over again.  Breaking even on the money, time and energy you spend on either a for-profit or non-profit organization will end up frustrating the whole thing.  And then it becomes pointless.  

So it’s very important to align what you want out of this with maximizing profits and business goals in order to define goals and business objectives properly for your digital marketing efforts.  To suggest anything less than spelling it out like this for you is destructive behavior.

Your goals need to be defined in a quantifiable manner.  Remember this was all about finding new opportunities to serve.  

This could be a new student for your school or course, a new customer for your business, a new client for your private consulting practice,  a new deal etc.  

The bottomline is that these are people that will go from awareness of what you have to offer to consideration of your product or service and then hopefully to conversion.  You could be a pastor and we could be talking about attracting new members to your church.

So this is going to be an experience for them from awareness or discovery to conversion.  What are your goals?  And how soon do you want to accomplish the goals?  

In addition to that, I want you to be aware that the experience of your ideal customer, client or member will happen in segments.  Some of them will discover you and convert to a customer right away, some will not convert till two years later and everything in between.  Oh… and some will never convert.

You will set high level goals and you will also set goals to optimize the experience of the audience firstly by building brand and influence.  “Branding and influence” all in itself sounds vague but we are able to quantify and track progress with digital marketing.

Back in 2009, when I first stumbled into digital marketing, it was easy to set up an experience and make money without  branding but competition is a bit higher right now as digital marketing becomes more popular.

How do we know?  We set high level goals such as a specific amount like say… One Million Dollars in Sale in One Year, but we also set micro-goals at every segment in the experience of your customer.

A smart goal will also help in a feasibility study before wasting your hard earned money on a project that will lead nowhere.  Digital Marketing is for everyone but every campaign type is not for every business type.  A smart goal will help us further in a feasibility study of a good campaign fit among so many opportunities.

Let’s spell out smart  goals.  S.M.A.R.T.  And let’s break it down.  I did not create this.  From a little research, I found out that the smart goal is a concept that was created in 1981 by George T. Doran.  Since I’ve personally learned about it, I’ve also seen different versions of it.

S for Specific - Your goal needs to be one thing at least defined as that… at a high level first before we break it down using a process called CBS (Campaign Breakdown Structure).

There is a book I will recommend and link up in the reference section at the end of this book called “ONE THING” by Gary Keller to help you understand the concept even more.

M for Measurable - The project management institute (PMI) called this “meaningful”.  I think that is interesting.

What it means (no pun intended) is that you can actually measure your goal and therefore be able to track progress towards achieving it.  “Speaking of achieving it…”

A for Achievable - How realistic is this goal?  I know you may have heard and believe in all types of manifestation of your desires and all types of Jedi mind tricks and techniques to attract what you want in life.  I believe in those things too.

But when you are setting up digital marketing campaigns that involve spending time, energy and possibly your hard earned money, I want you to make sure that you are doing so with respect to a realistically achievable goal.

The manifestation stuff depends on hope as a strategy but successful digital marketing campaigns depend on setting specific, meaningful and achievable goals.

Do you have the skills to achieve the goals?  If you don’t, does someone on your team have the skills?  Or do you have access to the necessary education to acquire the skills?  That is obviously a “yes” because this is a great start in that direction.

If you will be dropping this book before you complete it, it’s best to throw any digital marketing related goals in the trash already.  It will save you so much headache.

Without the direct or indirect access to the required skills and resources, especially education, you will lose money in digital marketing and it’s worse if you are losing it in the form of time and energy.  

You can make money back but you can’t get time back.  When people waste time, they are usually not valuing and tracking their time properly.

R for Relevant - I’ve seen other versions labeling this as realistic.  But that would probably correlate more with the previous one which is “achievable”.  

The relevance factor is moreso another level of making sure your goal for a digital marketing campaign aligns with your overall business objective.  If it doesn’t, it becomes another distraction.

Personally, I resent all forms of distractions in business because frankly, I’ve been a victim of distractions multiple times in my business career.

Also, some of the advertising (or ad) platforms you will be setting campaigns up on have metrics for measuring relevance factor and quality score even at micro levels.  So I want you to start adopting that mindset right now already at this higher level.

T for Time-Bound - And again, PMI called this “timely”.  Remember, we are not just setting a goal of one million dollars in that previous example.  We are setting a time frame because of the dangers of Parkinson's law.

What is Parkinson's Law? 

Parkinson's Law is the old adage that work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion. The term was first coined by Cyril Northcote Parkinson in an essay he wrote for “The Economist” in 1955.

When you don’t set a desired achievement time on a goal, you are still setting a time; forever or never.  These are terrible timeframes for business.  In fact, the ad platforms will stop taking your money eventually because they are set up to only work for folks who know what they are doing.

The whole point of this is to reiterate and reemphasize the importance of defining success up front and subsequently avoid unnecessary disappointments with your digital marketing campaigns. It’s a mindset and it’s the proper foundation before engaging too far and in too deep.

Here is an example of a goal statement.

Specific - “I want to write a book called Digital Marketing Certified (DMC).”  

Measurable - “The book will have a minimum of 10 chapters and 30,000 words between 150 and 200 pages.”

Achievable - “Because I am busy with other endeavors, I can realistically achieve writing this book in about 12 weeks.”

Relevant - “Digital Marketing Certified (DMC) is relevant to my overall business goals because it will educate my friends on what I do, help me get more students and clients, educate my future clients first, and more importantly make projects 1,000 times easier for the team and stakeholders.”

Time-Bound - “The book will be ready for publishing in 12 weeks because I am committed to releasing a video version weekly on my YouTube channel. until release.”

I know what you are thinking.  “OLA, what about an actual digital marketing goal statement example?”  

I got you.

Specific - “I want to generate new clients at the $7,500 price point into my consulting business with digital marketing.”

Measurable - “I want to generate 13 new clients into my consulting business.”

Achievable - “I have 2 clients already generated from my last traditional word of mouth campaign leveraging a messaging app broadcast. I have generated some revenue, streamlined by prospecting process and I can do this 13 more times definitely.”

Relevant - “Getting 13 month more clients will not just put me at 15 clients which aligns with my overall  business goals, it will also bring in more revenue so that I can invest in more efficient processes, acquire more resources and build my team.  I don’t want to be a slave to the business.”

Time-Bound - “I want to acquire all 13 new clients in the next 90 days.”

So this is what I want you to do.  Open an empty document on Google Docs and write your very own goal statement.  If I were you and I am completely new to digital marketing, I would definitely print it out for my desk.

In the next chapter, we will dive into the next piece of the pieces that you need to understand deeply in order to create successful and profitable digital marketing campaigns.

Like me, I know you want to serve many people.  But you must understand these people as individuals first and not as a group in order to create the most optimized impact as aligned with your overall business goals.

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! (re: Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔)

Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! So we received a comment on one of the best videos we've ever done called "Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation" from one of our 1,125 extremely valuable subscribers on YouTube; Queen.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/unwanted-separation/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE

https://youtu.be/Yu9VusO0t6M

  Make sure you search and check out that video once  you finish watching this video.

  She says... And I quote

  “Going thru separation. I love and miss my husband. He asked to be alone for a year. What do I do while we are living apart?”

  Queen. I’m sorry you are going through this.  Separation is not easy on anyone.  As devastating as it sounds, it sometimes can yield positive outcomes. 

  In fact, we are going to share 5 tips with you on how to dramatically increase the chance of making this season productive for you especially in spite of what it may feel like right now.

  Tip Number 5

Identify Why

  The marriage institution is exactly that; an institution.  And all disrespect of the institution will lead to a terrible outcome which is a legal or spiritual evaporation of the marriage.

  One of such disrespects happens when people get into marriages that lack explicitly identified purpose.  It's also synonymous with a marriage with no clear vision from the leader.

  So if there is no leader, even if it's temporarily, there is no vision and things fall apart.

  At this point, Queen… you have to be realistic and identify your own life mission and purpose.  

  It's going to be instrumental in attracting your husband back to you if he belongs there in the first place.

  Major focus has to be directed to building yourself up because it's about being worthy of attracting what you desire; even if that's your marriage and/or your husband.

  Whatever you engage henceforth should either be your passion or some type of stepping stone towards your passion.

  Tip Number 4

Forgive Yourself

  There is a tricky fine line between holding yourself accountable and not forgiving yourself.  Everything in life is a double edged sword that can cut both ways.

  Holding yourself accountable when your marriage seems to be failing is no different.  You want to make sure that you've forgiven yourself for at least being what you may be perceiving as failure.

  After all, failure is the stepping stone towards all forms of success. 

  Guilt, blame, condemnation and judgement will work against you because they will consume 10 times the  energy you could use to improve yourself in order to attract love and your desires again. 

  Tip Number 3 

Let Him Go

  He wants time off, let him go.   The truth is that negotiating desire is always a terrible strategy because it leads back into this vicious cycle of resenting yourself.

  If your husband has asked to be alone for a year, the reality is that he doesn't want to be alone because he is human; a social being like the rest of us.  He just doesn't want to be with you again.

  At least subconsciously, you also know this to be true so you naturally fight to hold on to your husband evidently by begging, calling obsessively, manipulation and other strategies that only repel and not attract love.

  So the fear becomes, "what if I let go and then he gets with someone else"?

  Okay.  What if he does?  I ask you.  Can you survive that reality?  If you can't survive that reality, where is the sexy self-confidence and self-esteem that attracted him in the first place? 

  It's little to no wonder why he doesn't want to be with you.

  Here is another reality. That's just how he felt the moment it was said.  It's not necessarily how he is going to feel once he smells that you don't need him ever again.  

  To want him and to need him are two different things.  No one wants to be with a needy person.

  So the first step is to let him go in order to let your magic... maybe God.... do its thing.  

  There is more.

  Tip Number 2

Build Self Love

  We've seen a lot of people running around social media and different types of conversations talking about "self love".

  Let's be honest.  Some people are too selfish and should not be talking about self love if they don't want to self-sabotage when it comes to attracting authentic love over time.

  But in your case Queen, rejection breeds obsession.  So you are probably pouring from an empty cup and not taking care of yourself enough.  That's not attractive nor is it sustainable.

  In this season for you, the work is in taking care of and loving up on yourself.  

  I understand it's hard when you experience rejection especially when it involves a potential break up of your family.

  But remember that everything goes back to attraction and desire which you should never negotiate.  People, including your husband, really have no choice but to mimic the level of self love that you have for yourself.

  At the minimum, people will mimic your level of self-respect.  Focus on doing things you love and for yourself during this period and don't have ultimatums on doing that.

  Make it a lifestyle.

  I have a question for you.  Are you naturally a selfish person?

  Use the comment area below to share your answer with us.

  There is a chance that you are already not a selfish person.  So it's time to pivot and it's your best chance of attracting love with or without your husband.

  I know you are probably so obsessed that you don't want to hear about love outside of your husband.  But think about this deeply.  Love is love and it really wouldn't matter when you are in-love.

  It also doesn't matter because loving yourself will make you more attractive and therefore increase your chances of attracting anyone to desire you; hopefully your husband.

  And last but not least.

  Tip Number 1

Look Out For Clarity

  Okay.  I don't want you to set yourself up because honestly that marriage is gone.  Because even if your husband comes back to you, you will have to build a new foundation.

  When we say look out for clarity, we need you to do that from a space of selfishness and what is good for your own life and the rest of your life.

  I don't want you to sit around and start expecting your husband to suddenly decide to come back to his senses.  Nothing in life is guaranteed.

  If he comes back, good for him… and for you I hope.

  With these tips, you will definitely influence him if he is human like the rest of us because he will wonder and become unsure of where you stand. 

  That will effectively drive his attraction towards you in an upwards direction.

  But you can't control what other people do.  You can only control how you respond to life and consequently control what you attract.

  Things will start to align when you let go and genuinely become capable of enjoying every moment of your life without needing him.

  We are speaking from experience.  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video. 

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

60... Single & RED FLAG 🚩 (ft. Melanin King)

On this episode, we are going to react to a Melanin King clip from a her dating show that involved a 60 years old man who is single, shot his shot at her and wants to build a family. Is it still possible?

FULL EPISODE - https://youtu.be/ei-kX8JClKM

Check out this episode!

[myempirepro-blog]

5 Tips of Dealing with in-Law Issues… Marsau & LaTisha Scott | Love & Marriage: Huntsville

Why is Marsau attracting disrespect from his in-laws?  

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE

https://lolaandola.com/dealing-with-in-law-issues/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE

https://youtu.be/cGWWt98h4IM

  We may be speaking from our traditional perspective here but nope… We’ve spent most of our lives in the west.

  So we have some context.. at least some.

  I do think that there is a lot of disrespect coming to Marsau from Latisha’s family.  But dare I say it… he deserves it because he is attracting it.

  Maybe “deserve” is a little too harsh… maybe it’s not relevant since for the most part, we don’t know what we don’t know when it comes to marriage.

  What are we talking about here?

  We are talking about one of our favorite shows to watch together on OWN TV; Love and Marriage: Huntsville.  

  It's a show in its fourth season which showcases the married life of 3 or 4 couples... one of which is Marsau and Latisha.

  They’ve been married for years so they ‘kinda’ know a lot when it comes to this marriage thing.  

  But it almost seems... 

  THAT very factor is creating a blind spot for Marsau.

  In-Law issues are the necessary evil that we all have to deal with as married people.

  And the fact is that Marsau talks too much when it comes to his in-laws... starting with Latisha's mother.

  When I talk about “game”, people always assume that we are talking about dating or pick-up artistry only.  

  The truth is that married men need even more game.

  The higher you climb in any form of hierarchy, the more of a shit test target you become.

  Marsau’s in-laws represent the first phase of Latisha’s life… development years for that matter… which means there are all types of sentimental values that he will never be fully aware of.

  Alright.  With that being said, let's go ahead and share 5 tips for dealing with in-laws in a way that doesn't tamper with your marriage.

  Tip Number 5

Don't Save Her... She “don't” wanna be saved...

  The limitations of this, of course, is a physical threat to your wife.  But you don't have the capacity to proactively save her emotionally from her own family; her source.

  The safest way to remotely get close to saving her in a way that puts you at an advantage as her husband is to be that shoulder to cry on

  …or a safe haven she can always trust to run to when she occasionally gets burnt over there.

  I don't remember if Marsau attempted to save Tisha from her cousin while beefing about her trip with Tisha's friend which she was kept out of.

  That right there is a prime example allowing her to go through that on her own.

  Tip Number 4

Don't feed into it.

  Many at times, it's going to feel like one or a few of your in-laws come with overbearing energy. 

  If it's a physical attack, call the police. That should never be tolerated.  

  It's usually not a physical attack. As for emotional or verbal attacks directed at you, don't feed into it. Why?

  Because your wife's feelings matter to you.  

  So at the end of the day, you need to just remove yourself temporarily because that's what's going to create the best result for you in the long run.

  Maybe in the short term it feels unfair.  But marriage is never supposed to be a competition... remember.

  Remove yourself physically and temporarily if you ever feel the need to feed into negativity; it's not worth it.

  Marsau finds himself feeding into Ms. Wanda's negativity all the  time. I know... "A man is supposed to check misbehavior as they come, right? No matter who it's coming from."

  Wrong!  That's a short sighted way of looking at things.  Some battles are just not worth the expense.

  I also know that he puts on that face CAP like it’s all banter.  But we can see through the bullshit.

  Tip Number 3

Don't compete with them

  It's going to happen... sometimes from a very subconscious place.  You will feel like you're competing with your in-laws for your wife's attention.

  It should never be a competition but I understand you are human like the rest of us.

  She already chose you as the husband for a reason so it's best to just maintain self-respect and esteem and remain the king that you are in your own household. 

  Anything else is validation and approval seeking behavior.

  This awareness we just hopefully created will go a long way for you in protecting your position and your family.

  At this point, you are probably hearing me tell you to kill them with kindness.  I didn't say that.  

  All I am asking you to do is to maintain your desired position with a long sighted view; be it a leader or a follower.

  Tip Number 2

Don't mix in-laws with business.

  In one of the episodes, we watched Tisha and Marsau evaluate a food truck business venture with Ms.Wanda.  

  Per Tisha's request, they were to invest in that business starting with buying and fixing this old dilapidated food truck sitting in the middle of nowhere.

  This is a tricky one... and there is no absolute advice here... just a little guide.

  Ideally, this type of investment should be avoided if possible.  

  It's better to give Ms.Wanda, your in-law, whatever you want and can afford to give her as a gift so that you don't become attached or invested in the outcome of the business venture.

  It was obvious that Tisha really wanted to do this with her mother.  If that’s the case, Marsau is better off giving Tisha the gift and detaching himself from the outcome for his own peace of mind.

  Question of the day: Share in the comment area in one word... What do you think attachment to outcomes turns into when it comes to marriage and relationships?

  Tip #1

Listen... Don't judge

  So let's say Marsau follows this advice  and gives Tisha the gift to invest with her mother.

  From experience and analyzing a lot of cases, we know that "I told you so" moments are inevitable in the future.

  As you probably already guessed, that wouldn’t be a moment for Marsau to say "I told you so."

  Many times, your wife will come to you and report on how her family member offended her. Don't insert yourself and start judging them. 

  Just listen. Just be understanding. It's okay to be fascinated. 

  “Wow..”  “That’s crazy.”, “Interesting..” “O ga o”.

  It's okay to be interested without judging. 

  If you're judging her family, she may feel good about it right now. 

  Later on or if you are consistent enough with that behavior, she may start to feel some kind of way about it because that's her family. 

  You're going to become the enemy. 

  We are speaking from experience.  In fact, we share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and sharing with us below in the comment area what you'd like us to cover in the next video.

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