mydearestinej

[mydearestinej]

Andrew always being the one to care for and protect everyone else and everyone always hiding behind him and slightly (or not so slightly) fearing him and then Neil coming in and it starting out like everyone else for Andrew but then all of a sudden Neil says things like "you spend all this time watching our backs, who's watching yours" and "if it means losing you, then no" and "thank you, you were amazing" and now Neil "the runaway" Josten is putting himself in danger to protect Andrew and thanking Andrew and has anyone ever thanked Andrew before and now for the first time ever someone is choosing to care for and protect Andrew without fear and without feeling like they're obligated to out of some misplaced sense of "family" and-

[mydearestinej]

[mydearestinej]

Neil is there to protect the one who protects them all.

Andrew always knew how to protect. He sure has his own ways that many fail to understand but the bottom line stays the same.

With Neil coming into his life he gets to be something else than just the protector - which I want to talk about here.

The exy obsessed junkie who claims to only care about his own survival is the first one who sees beyond Andrews play - who sees that Andrew doesn’t take care of himself at all. Too busy keeping an eye on everyone to care about what happens to his own self. And Neil hates it furiously.

So Neil puts Andrew first.

Starting with his health. Exy is important to Neil but he knows Andrew needs to get off the drugs first. The foxes found it easier to deal with Andrew while he’s on drugs, so they didn’t put much effort into changing that - Neil though. Neil saw what the drugs did to Andrew. So they had to get rid off it as fast as possible.

So he makes a deal. He gives up a piece of a truth, gives a promise and makes him go take care of himself.

He punches Riko because he couldn’t stop himself.

He agrees to go to Evermore - he agrees to torture just to keep Andrew save.

Afterwards he refuses to back down his care after being explicitly told to. “If it means loosing you then no”.

After being brutally tortured, one of the first things he does is inspecting Andrews bruises. Inspecting Andrews bruises the same way Andrew inspects his. “All that time fighting and you never learned how to duck?”

He told the cops off when they indicated getting Andrew off him “you’ll what, asshole?”

He was there in a heartbeat the second Andrew got pushed in the final game. And only backed off after checking Andrew was really alright.

For the first time Andrew has someone who has his back the same way he had the backs of everyone else for years. Andrew is fiercely protective and for the first time he is fiercely protected too.

“You are a pipe dream.”

[mydearestinej]

fake idgafer i saw you beat up four men for being homophobic to your cousin. i saw you kill your brother’s abuser. i saw you befriend a kindhearted religious girl even though you knew the others would tease you. i saw you offer two traumatized boys protection when they thought they would never get any. i saw you ask “how many kids” when you found out that your abuser targeted more people. i saw you sitting on the roof even though you’re afraid of heights because you didn’t want to feel nothing anymore

[mydearestinej]

fuck zodiac signs i want a step-by-step of your skincare routine. then i’ll know where we stand.

[mydearestinej]

@sohcahtan on tiktok

[mydearestinej]

The saddest part of this ending is that Christopher became exactly like his parents: a person who runs away from his problems.

Eddie and Shannon did it in their own ways (the army and Los Angeles) and they had to deal with the consequences of their actions for the rest of their lives and they wanted to prevent Christopher from going through that at all costs and they didn't succeed.

Now Christopher is just like his parents, a person who runs away from his problems and doesn't want to talk about them, who breaks things when he gets angry and tries to hurt the person who hurt him even when he loves him.

And the worst of all is that Christopher is also like his other dad.

Christopher just wants to be loved, just like Buck, he just wants people to stop leaving, but people always leave.

So now we have Christopher Diaz, following in the same footsteps as his three parents, running away because he's angry and he's angry because people always leave him.

The difference between Christopher and all of them? It's just that Chris is loved either way.

Christopher has something that neither Eddie, nor Shannon, nor Buck had and it is a home that loves him, where Buck and Eddie are waiting for him to come back, and that even if he doesn't come back, even if he can never forgive his father, his two dads are going to love him for the rest of their lives. Because Christopher is worth being loved, and being waited for as long as necessary.

[mydearestinej]

not ashamed to admit that I would let season one evan buckley in his little manwhore era do whatever he wanted to me without hesitation

[mydearestinej]

i just went looking for photos of "undine rising from the waters" because it's mentioned in ninth house and hell bent and i didnt really remember what the statue looked like and guys. darlington was sooo horny for alex since the begining. he really looked at her sweating in her henley and though of this. ok demon

[mydearestinej]

Hello everybody with summer fast approaching here is your regular reminder that:

Everyone needs to wear sunscreen

SPF 50 is pretty much the best protection you can get, an SPF higher than that will have the same effect

Melanin does not protect you from skin cancer

Tanning is caused by exposure to ultraviolet radiation

Spending the majority of your life receiving regular large doses of UV radiation without any skin protection is a good way to get skin cancer

Don't use tanning beds, and don't go sun tanning

Wear your fucking sunscreen

[mydearestinej]

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

[mydearestinej]

Anna and Matthew= the heartbreaker and the heartbroken

[mydearestinej]

this just in:

the biggest perpetrator of mischaracterizing neil josten is in fact neil josten himself

[mydearestinej]

I feel like the aftg fandom has just swung hard from one mischaracterization of Neil to another.

Yes, Neil is not an innocent little soft-boy like a lot of fans made him out to be pre-TSC, but he isn't some cold, calculated badass either.

He took out a hit on Grayson over Thai food. He doodles fox paws in his notebooks and hates vegetables. He insults FBI agents' parking jobs and he spent a bus ride staring over the back of his seat making heart eyes at his boyfriend. He manipulated the agents while eating takeout in the interrogation room. He canonically internally panics and overthinks the entire time he's attempting to manipulate anyone. He uses people's family trauma to manipulate them. He misses his mom.

Neil Abram Josten is a multifaceted character

[mydearestinej]

Jean:

Meanwhile:

[mydearestinej]

I’m rereading aftg after reading tsc and honestly the difference between Jean and Neil as narrator is really hitting me, like Neil is so fucking attuned to Andrew at all times, even at the beginning when it’s like a threat analysis thing. Neil’s narration is fucking laser focused on Andrew, meanwhile Jean’s over here getting distracted by Kevin and Renee and Jeremy, it makes me appreciate Andrew and Neil even more just because of how clearly obsessed with him Neil is

[mydearestinej]

jeans pov of neil: he’s insane, he’s unhinged, he’s fucked up. either he’s gonna get himself killed or he’ll kill someone first

neil in his own pov: damn i can’t believe i’m the most normal fox. like im just out here living my life as a normal human being! anyways im gonna go make a deal with a mafia boss, thoughts?

andrew, apparently the less unhinged of the two of them: and prayers.