my-okay-okay-posts-blog

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once i was watching a livestream and myself and some people in the comment section started discussing this story of how one of us accidently squeezed a baby chick to death when he was a kid. that somehow led to a group chat, and for a laugh we added the person (a famous meme acc admin) to the chat, and then she joined our conversation casually, and we freaked out bc ohmygod we got noticed. we slowly turned into great friends and talked to each other about everything, and i just want to let you know that there is always something great waiting for you in a place where you least expect it. 

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i feel like boys are underrated for all their little habits and things they do that make them more than just the sum of their parts. like how they brush their hair back from the tips of their eyelashes, and how they smell like something that is more than just cologne, or how they hug you from behind or talk in a certain playful way, or how they have a raspy morning voice, or how they freak out about their crushes and ohmygod we just don’t appreciate the little things enough. 

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Survivor's Guide (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/FkaVyPRdwz Once upon a time, my friend Meikoji spilled the details about her love life to me in a history lesson. Naturally, I wanted to write about it, and so did she. So we met up in the library and decided on writing 2 different books (the other one is on her account) that talk about the same thing from different points of view. Here you will meet Mei the hopeless romantic, and me, YSL, the sarcastic hormonal teenager. Have fun.

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Stolen. (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/cikcZkPdwz Just another short story-but not quite.

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Butterflies for eternity, an alias to insanity. (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/VHJYhRMdwz Exclusive: You get to watch me drive myself insane, right here, live. One cannot fathom the situation unless it is written about. It shall all begin and finish here. Here goes everything.

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I was told to get myself out of the darkness. I needed light, and so I made my own. You caused the fire that lit up my darkness. And I burned for you brightly, my heart ablaze.

Myself

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I first found this quote in All the Bright Places.

Before this, I didn’t know one could fall in love with a sentence.

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway

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Shit happens. and we deal with it. Because quite frankly, we have no other choice.

Myself

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You don’t write to show people. You don’t write to be read. You write to remind yourself of who you once were, who you are, and perhaps who you were meant to be.

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I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

Edgar Allan Poe (via psych-facts)

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Tell me everything about you. You can go on for hours, I don’t mind.

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Forbidden.

there's one level of hidden. and then there's a level of forbidden. that you're terrified to even write about. things that you've denied but there was always room for doubt. something that will never be clarified. you want to back out but feelings cannot be put aside.

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Souls

as said in les misearbles "there is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky. there is one spectacle grander than the sky, and that is the interior of the soul."

i thought about it for a while and i made my own definition for a soul. to me, a soul was the part of you that wasn't skin and bone. a part that was your own. the quintessence of an individual that was free. the soul wanders and wonders while you stand still.

i wanted to educate myself on the unfathomable depth of souls because i knew for a fact that everyone has a little part of their soul that wanted to know a secret of the universe mine just happened to be bigger. and so i traveled to a place with an ocean of people each with a story, a voice, and a soul. and i looked around.

at first, i saw a businessman. he was stressfully bawling into a rectangle that he was holding up to his ear fretting and pacing through the concrete in a grey suit. i couldn't feel what he was feeling because i had abandoned feelings a long time ago but i could see it. i could see his stress and restlessness. i witnessed the way he vigorously climbed down the steps outside the building. i could see his soul unintentionally crying out for help.

i shifted my gaze to a young girl that appeared in her early twenties i saw her melting into the arms of a young man, weeping i wondered why and then i saw a plane ticket in her hand. i marveled at what that ticket was for had she just returned was she leaving? no answers. the art of reason was one that was needed yet never speculated people wanted reasons, but they were never willing to find them. it was something expected to just present itself without being asked. weird, isn't it? we expect so much from everyone and everything.

i glanced at a little boy running around calling out "You're it!" to another boy. they appeared ecstatic and merry something that was paradoxical to everything else i'd seen. they desired nothing but pure happiness. i think that's what every adult wanted deep in the cell of thier heart. but they got confused by everything they had to do to strive for what they wanted. and we thought kids were the ones that were easily distracted.

i spotted a homeless man gazing into nothingness. it was like there was nothing left in him anymore. there was a certain dead emptiness in his eyes i could feel that something inside him broke. and it wasn't just because he didn't have a house. and then it occured to me i guess i haven't abandoned feelings after all i dont think you can ever abandon feelings until you're broken and never in all your entirety. it was like he was sitting on the ground with all the pieces of him scattered around him and there was not enough tape left in the world to put them back together.

and then i looked around some more i saw a little girl playing a clapping game with another girl i saw a woman with her nose stuck in a book i saw a man playing a game on his phone i saw an old lady playing fetch with her dog.

and at the end i came to the conclusion that sometimes a soul is free in a cage. that man with his broken pieces had given up and caged his soul but i could see it wandering still. that girl crying in the boy's arms had hope. the kids playing joyfully had happiness. no one was empty. perhaps what they had inside them was not ideal but it was there. everyone and everything had their own a substance and a little bit of the universe inside them. and they had free will to choose what they were going to do with their souls.

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Survivor's Guide -(on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/xpQzpNyQYv Once upon a time, my friend Meikoji spilled the details about her love life to me in a history lesson. Naturally, I wanted to write about it, and so did she. So we met up in the library and decided on writing 2 different books (the other one is on her account) that talk about the same thing from different points of view. Here you will meet Mei the hopeless romantic, and me, YSL, the sarcastic hormonal teenager. Have fun.

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Suicide Buddies - 1 (on Wattpad) http://my.w.tt/UiNb/tEh7ggkQYv "Demons bleed. They bleed in my mind and I soak it all up." The main author of this book is yours truly. There are two other friends that contributed to some parts of this book, especially @travestiously who come up with quite a few great quotes that enhance the experience of reading this. The other friend is @manahilstyles Warning, this does get quite emotional at times, but I'm sure everyone will find a part of this book that they'll connect with. Enjoy.

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The most courageous act is still to think four yourself. Aloud. – Coco Chanel

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