my-nostalgic-moment-blog

[my-nostalgic-moment-blog]

14 Nov 21

I slept well last night. Didn't take any meds, didn't take any teas and slept so well I woke up at 9 and went back to sleep till 11am. I talked to the house seller, had lunch and then started experiencing a very sharp headache that wouldn't go away. I drove around for 45minutes listening to happy songs and chill. Came back home, with headache still, but decided to start working out again so that I could put myself in a better place. Worked out with fitness marshall and it was great. still with headache so I took an advil, ate homemade ombok and then went to spa for 2 hours. hotstone massage and a very skillful therapist was amazing. They had two therapists that I like who are sisters, Ing and Sreyna who also recommend Siev ly. During the treatment we talked about this and that. she talked about mothers and relationship, she encourage me to talk to mom. Her persuation doesn't work or maybe it works but not that amazing. Like it counteract with.. i don't know.. it somehow makes me thing that i have alot on my mind right now so its best that I should try to solve what I can so I can take some off my shoulder. If problem with my mother can be solved by me, then why don't I just do it? it's the easiest. why don't I just do it so I could take this matter off my mind. like at least, I'm doing my part so I can go to bed knowing that I have played my part. so I did. I came home and take my kids out to go see my mother and talked a few words with her and that's all. that's all I need to do. now I've done it. she's happy. I'm relieved. I have taken this matter off my mind now and I'm over it. I can go to bed tonight knowing that I have solved one part of the equation that had me gone insomniac over the past weeks. I thank myself for finally taking control over the ego I have. Thank you. Thank you. It was hard at first but once I got the determination to do it and just do it. do it badly. then I just did it. badly or not, I don't care, I did it and it made me feel relived and happy now. yeah. so that's all for today. goodnight :)

[my-nostalgic-moment-blog]

Saturday, 13 Nov 21

I'm going to meet with Bong Sam soon. I don't know what I can get out of this but I think it's great to talk to someone who knows more about how to deal with anxiety than who doesn't. I don't want to talk to my friends because I don't to be a burden to anyone. I always feel like I am a burden to someone else even myself. Just hope all these horrible feelings and thoughts will fade soon.

[my-nostalgic-moment-blog]

Gaasperplas, Amsterdam Zuid-Oost, Noord-Holland, The Netherlands