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mxxnphases · 3 years ago

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Star-crossed Lovers

summary: maybe the stars were against you all along,,

pairing: t. holland peter parker x female!reader (18+)

word count: 1.4K

warnings: angst, death?, cussing, crazy bitch

(this is my first ff, so please bare with me. This was kind of rushed but I have so many papers to write this week and I needed something to take my mind off of it)

Maybe even with the sense of security you always had with Peter was never enough. Sure, he loved you, but were you worth all this arguing? Your uncertainty to this feel was no stranger, sometimes it would pull you under by surprise and suffocate everything good out of you. Fight. You were always fighting. Fighting with Peter, your family, yourself. It was exhausting having to protect yourself, when those swearing to protect you weren't doing enough.

“Peter, are you fucking crazy? You can’t go out there. You could die.”

You angrily shout walking out of your room, you needed space. Anywhere to get out of the trapped, stuffy apartment you share with Peter. You could let him see that you were visibly getting frustrated. No signs of weakness, you tell yourself.

“I have to. If I don’t so many more will die.” He argues, following you out of your shared room and into the kitchen.

“Can you stop thinking about the greater good for one goddamn second?! What about me, us? Please, you're the only good thing I have left and I can’t lose you too. Not after my mom and my sister. I’ve lost too much, please.” You break down into an uncontrollable sob. Mustering all the strength you can to keep fighting for him to stay.

“I can’t keep constantly putting you and your so-called ‘miserable life’ before everything! I have to do this for me! I have to prove to Mr. Stark that he was right for believing in me! And I know you hate that, and you get so fucking upset about it but right now I don’t have time to be fucking arguing with you because PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DYING RIGHT NOW!” He shouted

Every venomous word that came out of Peter’s mouth felt like being shot, by a bullet at 300 meters per second, over and over again. But unlike a real bullet, you have to sit there and suffer through the pain. You can’t let him know that he won, you can’t show that what he said affected you.

You stare at him blankly. Trying to wrap you mind around every single word that was just spoken. And all you can do is cave in.

“Okay.” You say, trying to see his reaction through your blurry vision caused by the tears in your eyes.

“Okay?”

“Go. Do whatever you need to do Spider-man” Your voice laced with venom trying to inflict as much pain on to him as he did to you.

After staring at you for what felt like months, he leaves. Suit in hand, without a word. As soon as he closes the door, you cover you mouth to hide the sounds of sobbing agony that has finally taken over you. You slide against the cabinets, unable to carry yourself on your legs for any longer.

Maybe you're the real villain of this story.

SPIDER-MAN SAVES CIVILIANS FROM A GANG SHOOT-OUT IN MURRAY HILL

It hurts to blink. To breathe. To move your body.

You got up from off the kitchen floor and turned on the news to see if they have any information on the whereabouts of your boyfriend.

He's not thinking about you. He doesn't really care about you.

You are a burden to him.

This apartment brings you nothing but bad memories. Every corner has a dark hidden secret that you placed there.

You needed to leave, not for long. Just a break so you can work on yourself and get better before you bring Peter down with you.

Hey, could I stay with you for a few days?

Penny: Yeah ofc, everything okay?

Yeah I just need to clear my head

Penny: Alright, you know where I live. Feel free to come in whenever. See you soon.

Thanks Pen

Penny: Ofc any time. I love you.

Love u too

You pack your bag with a few days worth of clothes and head out. Hoping that next time you're back, everything will be back to normal. You and Peter always work it out. And all you can do is hope that this time is no different.

The bustling city of New York has never made you feel as alone as you are know. With your puffy red eyes and shaky breaths, you looked pathetic. As you walked to the subway station, you see a flash of red out of the corner of your eye. Peter. He must be on his way home.

As you continue to walk, you start to think. Thinking of every way Peter can break your heart without you being there.

He’s probably not going to care if I’m not there.

He’s going to pretend as if this argument never happened, as if him hurting you never happened.

The stars looked pretty tonight. Even if they were diluted from the screaming lights of the city, they were always there. Always constant.

When you arrived to your former roommates home, she greeted you with open arms. She saw the pain in your eyes and knew that you needed to be comforted. She knew what you were going through.

Penny didn’t talk. She knew something happened but she didn’t want to push you into answering. Allowing the comforting silence to take over. That's what you loved about Penny, she knew what to do because she knew you so well. You didn’t deserve such a good friend.

“You look exhausted babe, how about you get a shower and I’ll bring you somethings so you can crash on the couch.”

You nodded in response, your voice too hoarse to reply with anything.

After your warm soothing shower you realized that maybe you overreacted. The steam from the water, cleared your foggy mind of the dark thought and allowed you to calm and relax.

You decided that you were cut the trip short and go back to your apartment tomorrow morning, to clear things up with Peter.

“Good night.” Penny says

“Night” you respond back continuing your gaze out the window and into the stars. You couldn’t sleep, yes you were tired but when you tried to close you eyes, your mind stayed awake and your thoughts ran a 100 miles and minutes.

Too focused on your thoughts, you couldn’t hear the creak of the floor behind you.

A loud noise breaks you loose from the chains of you mind.

Is it hot in here?

You turn around and hear 3 more bangs. You're ears began to ring. You look up to see the source of the sounds.

Perfect Penny standing behind you with a pistol in her hands.

Fuck.

“You stupid fuck. You don't deserve Peter! He's too good for you!”

“What-” you gasp, feeling a warm liquid run down your torso and onto your leg.

“You're so fucking ungrateful. Just because your life is so miserable doesn't give you the right to make everyone else's just as bad.”

“Why?” your shaky breath managed to say.

“I’m just doing what needed to be done. I’m freeing Peter from the chain you put on him.”

As you tried to respond, you attempt to open your eyes only to be overwhelmed with the stars. Your vision began to spot as you tried to clear you mind.

The stars have never glowed as bright as they did right now. Maybe you and Peter were never meant to work out.

But all you could think about was the times that Peter was there to pick you up when you couldn’t. How you wished you could have apologized and thanked him sooner. For now, it was too late and all you could do was thank your lucky star for being able to be with an angel like Peter.

Maybe it could have worked out in another life. Maybe you can be reunited into another life and run into each others arms like you were each others last breath.

But for now you allowed the stars to whisk you away into their arms.

#peter parker #tom holland #tom holland peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x fem #marvel mcu #peter parker x reader #peter parker angst #angst #spiderman angst

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