mvltxmvsc-blog

[mvltxmvsc-blog]

It is with a heavy heart, my kind friends, that I must close down my indie.

A lot of things have come to light recently, one of which is how heavily I rely on roleplay to help me mitigate the mess that is my emotions. Recently some really crappy stuff has happened to me, and when I desperately needed RP to help me distract myself, I could not find much play. Since the shitty situation in question has only been left to fester, and the feelings worsened, I will regrettably have to shut down my indie.

I wasn’t really receiving but a reply or two a day, and three on a good one. Most my other partners I haven’t heard from in several weeks so I’m assuming the RP is dead and gone.

If you enjoyed our time, I’d much prefer to get in touch on discord and set up a private server for our characters, that way we can AU and plot in a far more safe environment for myself that doesn’t constantly remind me of my terribly large lack of control. If that suits you, feel free to write me for my discord, as I don’t want to just post it out in the open.

So sorry to those that were enjoying our interactions, or those who have just found me now. Thanks a ton for being there while you could.

@asynjja @hellxprivateinvestigator

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hellxprivateinvestigator‌:

Sam slipped into the driver’s seat easily, his long fingers running over the steering wheel before he started the two door coupe. The engine rumble like a large feline, and the private investigator shifted to buckle up his seat belt as JD used his phone to type in his address. He followed the directions out of the cafe parking lot, merging easily onto the busy street. His bright green eyes remained fixed on the road, his hands on the steering wheel and the stick shift. For the most part he was careful driver, and being mindful of how JD was feeling he took it easy on the gas and on his sharp turns. “You can just call me Sam, most people do…” the investigator told the other man casually. He probably wouldn’t have even minded if then other man called him Sammy, which was often one of his least favorite nicknames. One that his assistant would sometimes taunt him with if he felt like giving Sam a hard time. “And it’s no problem… like you said it’s my lucky day,” he added.

“So this thing you see when you look at people, that’s probably why you don’t like going out? I mean folks say you’re not one for book talks, but most people figure it’s because you’re some reclusive genius or something… not to say you aren’t but, I guess this is another reason?” Sam gestured at his own face, which JD had said was startlingly normal compared to what he usually saw. “So… I’m the first person you’ve seen without that death mask face thing since you were a kid?” He glanced briefly at JD as he cruised easily down the road, slowing down when they came to a more secluded area. “That must have made dating hard,” Sam attempted to joke, adding a soft playful chuckle for good measure. He didn’t know about JD’s sexuality, prone as he was to flirting with any man he found reasonably attractive. Which was why he was most often turned down, and in some cases none too gently. “Do you see them in your sleep too? Is that why you have trouble sleeping?”

For a small fraction of the time that JD spent in the other man’s company, he couldn’t deny that he decidedly enjoyed the silence shared between them. It was a comfortable span of time spent without words, or, at least in his own mind it was as such. Not that he could say that it happened often. It wasn’t that he was actually alone often, but more so that in the company of others he hadn’t experienced such a sensation. Considering his celebrity status, and all the appearances he did make, or the executive decisions he made when brought onto the set for the film adaptation’s of his books, or the video games, he spent quite a fair bit of time with a plethora of people. The work flow was pleasant at least, he found occupying his time normally staved off his desire to pass out, most days. The video games were perhaps more creatively liberating. Not that he could fully participate in sharing the joy of creation, but the sentiment was there. But for now, it was simply nice to be in the presence of another human being, and know that conversation was not necessary to feel at ease. Odd that this was perhaps the first time he’d felt like this in the presence of anyone. Or rather, the first time that he had done so as an adult. Thoughts drifted back to his mother, sitting in the passenger side of the car on a hazy afternoon, holding her hand on the way to the grocery store amidst a light rainstorm. The color of her hair was vividly copper, he could see it in his minds eye now. In the small span of time that it took him to settle his forehead against the cool surface of the other man’s car window, he had quite realized he’d drifted off to sleep.

He was small here sitting in the passenger seat of their dark cherry red, 1990 Chrysler LeBaron, but he felt safe in her presence. He had always felt, almost overwhelmingly safe with his mother. Unlike any other human being in the world, she possessed such a unique quality to calm even the most turbulent of men’s minds, and embolden them all the same. That was how his father had initially described her on one of his many journey’s to visit him in the “home”. The rain on the windshield pitter pattering was like an echo, a soft hush over the emptiness of the car. It was only them and the storm that brewed overhead. Mother hummed softly as his miniscule hand held hers, fingertips lovingly playing in her palm, tracing lines that she had, at one time, described as the lines of his future. The rain seemed almost far too perfect a backing for the tender sound of the older woman’s voice. It was perhaps, the stilled rumble of thunder in the distance that hearkened the change in mood as the humming continued, but seemed to grow distorted in tone, yet somehow his mothers soft Irish voice whispered to him,” Jilian, why are crying?” One free tiny hand slid upwards to his own cheek as he touched the dampness to assure himself he was, indeed crying, but as he did so he felt the icy cold death grip of a hand, vastly larger than his own, that had once been holding those little digits so carefully. Short stature evident by the effort it took to look upwards to see why his mother’s demeanor had so suddenly changed, he was now met with the grotesque sight of a disjointed, almost spider hunched version of his beloved forebearer, covered in blood and torn open in various portions where her innards seemingly ached to spill out. All of which was accompanied by a black, inky substance that seemed to gurgle and churn as it bubbled out of her. Rather than sitting at his side however, she had tucked herself in the upper most corner of the car, once more, reminding him so much of a spider, but still latched onto his wrist. “ Wₕy . . ₐᵣₑ . . yₒᵤ . . cᵣy . . ᵢₙg ?  “ the creaturous woman asked as her head slowly twisted, not backwards, but upside down, the audible sound of bone snapping and popping as the ever impossible pose was achieved, whilst her hollow eyes and gaping maw seemed ever steadily stuck in position, still somehow feeling as if they were staring at him. 

Slender, gangly fingers trembled and stretched out towards him, just barely raking his hair as JD began to realize he could still hear the humming, and that he both recognized it from somewhere he could not recall, and likewise, that the car was driving itself, the wheel turning gently this way and that, without a pair of hands to guide it. Just as his head had turned to make note of this very detail, he saw her body rush at him, causing him to jerk backwards–

A soft gasp, and a lurch of his own shoulders, as if his body had felt an impact was the only sign that perhaps JD had been asleep to begin with, roused from his slumber by the sound of Sam’s voice. Taking a short moment to gather himself, he soon withdrew his laptop from it’s bag, and hastily wrote down the content’s of his " nightmare ”, fingers visibly trembling as he replied,” I prefer Samuel, if it’s all the same.” it wasn’t entirely evident as of yet, but he had his reasons for the interest in his full name. 

Once he’d finished hammering the keys of his computer with a furious speed, he saved the document and sent it to his assistant whom would print it out and set it on his desk so that he had it permanently, after all, computers were far less reliable than actual paper. Upon closing his laptop and putting it away, the writer shrugged one shoulder and looked back out of the window so as to gather his thoughts and composure,” I don’t really like to discuss my books at length with a mass of people. It’s more of a privacy issue for me. People already judge my mental health from afar, I don’t want to give them more reason to shun me publicly, than they already have. I dare say, they’d want me locked up in a padded room. “ Dark brown eyes stared out of the window ever still as he continued to speak, long locks encircling his face in silken sheets as he crossed his arms over his own chest.

“ What would I do? Take medication? What then? Become a mindless zombie, content on being happy and fit into normal society with it’s flawed structure, constantly worried about my appearance, my health, my relationship status? The truth is, Samuel, I’m happy to be dying. I’m happy to be this way, because for better or for worse, I was probably never going to fit in, or be normal. At least this way, I am celebrated for that abnormality, for as little as I do experience life at the moment, it is my own brand of normal. Though I would point out, that even that sentiment there, is purposefully planned. I intend on further explaining the circumstances when we arrive back at my estate, but know that most decisions I have made, have been done, so that I might control more of the outcome of my own life. “

After his seemingly long winded response, JD took in a deep breath and relaxed further, allowing his body to unwind from the tension of his negligibly small terror. Fingertips slowly unwound the cuff of his sleeve to cautiously peel back the fabric, only to find a bruise in the shape of gnarled fingers, upon his wrist. Not again. He frowned softly, hoping that Sam had not seen what he was doing. Most days, he thought the bruises were a side affect of his terrible sleeping patterns, or self inflicted amidst his sleep. If he knew where they had truly come from, he perhaps, would have been even more terrified.

“ Yes, since I was eight years old, as I said. And contrary to what you might have heard, I’ve never actually dated anyone. “ he stated rather stoically in reply. “ All the media coverage around my personal life is yet again, a cleverly crafted rouse. “ when asked about the contents of his sleep, his tone became markedly more serious, and even perhaps a fair bit more dark,” My waking hours are spent with mere ghosts of the true horror I see in my sleep. “ 

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hellxprivateinvestigator‌:

Sam beamed when JD accepted his offer to help get him home. It really was starting to feel like his lucky day, since he’d started the day since he’d run into the man. To think he’d only been planning to drink a cup of coffee while rereading one of his favorite books only to run into the author himself. Now he was going to take the man home. Perhaps not under exactly good circumstances, but it was a turn of events he hadn’t quite expected. When the other suggested they leave now rather than have this discussion in the restroom he pushed off the door, stepping a little more into JD’s space before opening the door with a flourish. Sam bowed his head and gestured for the author to step out, “I can hold your stuff if you need me to,” he said, still walking close to him in case the other man needed support.

He guided the other back towards the main part of the cafe, and by this time it seemed that everyone had gone back to whatever they had been doing. His cigarette had burned out in the time they had been away, and his book still rested on the table. Sam collected his book tucking it under his arm carefully, before leading the way out to his car. The black 1967 Mustang stood out like a sore thumb in a sea of more modern cars and compact SUVs. It seemed well taken care of, the black paint glossy and the interior tidy. This car had been his first true love, the one constant when everything else seemed to be in turmoil. “Where am I going?” he asked opening the door for JD, and offering a hand in case he needed help lowering himself. Sam prided himself on being attentive towards his clients, and even those that were not paying him for his services.

The warmth he felt wash over him as Sam stepped into his space so as to open the door for him was almost too much for him to bare. Not in the sense that his body felt too hot, but perhaps in the way that his body felt too hot. Too rushed with desires unattended. JD wasn’t even public with his sexuality, other than the appropriately misleading images of him taking women home, flirting, any plethora of things he’d had his publicists working on to keep him from losing his following to a scandal. Surely, in this day and age, one would believe coming out as a prominent, homosexual author, whom had made an enormous name for himself, through writings, plays, video games and even a few films, but it was almost like committing social suicide. With it came controversy. He already had enough scrutiny over the past he had tried so hard to hide, that people had dug to uncover. It was the main reason he still received death threats to this day.

But to admit such a thing would also open his world up to a plethora of fakes, only after him for his money and status. He wanted nothing, and neither, and the idea that his body was suddenly yearning for something more, and latching onto Samuel as that source, was almost deplorable. He reasoned with himself, that it was simply because he was the first person he’d physically seen in a long time, even if the latter was true, the reasoning was certainly not, in it’s entirety. “ I’m not completely incapable. “ JD almost teased as he walked by the other man and followed him out of the building, heading out into the lot with a down turned head. Upon arriving to the aforementioned car, he gratefully took his assistance within and positioned himself appropriately, respectfully appreciating the vintage of the car like one might enjoy a fine wine. It was evident he’d put great care into the vehicle, but the author wasn’t much for small talk. It had been the bane of his existence, even well before his stoic persona had come into play. From his phone, he plugged in his address, and set it upon his own thigh so as to allow his GPS to call out the directions. “ Thank you, Samuel, for taking me home. I think I’ve had quite enough public socialization for one day. “

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fckinmuses‌:

“yeah, well, sometimes it’s a challenge for me to get you to fuckin’ feel something. and if i succeed, i call it a good day. so if that means pissing you off, then so be it. even if that means i gotta go make out with someone and deal with you the day after.” jon said and shrugged his shoulders. in the state of mind he was in, he just didn’t give a fuck how roman felt about what he’d done, or what he had planned on doing. jon was living free, doing his own thing and being his own person. and if that meant making roman look like a fool, well, so be it. “yeah, well, it’s not like i can kiss a man right in front of you here, so playground insults have to suffice for the time being. now you invite that cute little twink over to the table and i might put on a show for you.” he said and shrugged with a cheeky grin on his face before he decided to finish off the rest of his drink. two drinks in, three lines bumped and a joint down, jon was doing pretty good if he did say so himself. especially since it was barely after noon. “or we act out simply because i fuckin’ feel like it.” jon said as he let his icy blue eyes graze over roman’s features for a moment before he went back to sipping water. “well it’s the only way to get some kind of emotion out of you. and if all i get is anger so be it, it’s better than just sitting around being fuckin’ bored out of my mind because you literally feel nothing and don’t wanna nor do you even fuckin’ care. so yeah, i’m gonna do what i can because i need some sort of fun or spice in this fucking relationship if it’s ever going to work.” he said and rolled his eyes. “do you want me to answer that honestly? because yeah, ya do.” 

Sometimes it felt like talking to a toddler. It was like Jon had selective hearing, combined with selective learning. And it was apparent that he selectively chose to remember that by doing any of this, he would get himself into far worse trouble than if he didn’t. He just liked to act out. “ Yes, that sounds intelligent. “ Roman replied as he looked at him with boredom hanging over his eyes. He let Jon go on for a good while. A nice long while, his eyes wandering to the other varied patrons. The thing about a high end restaurant, was that, they saw a plethora of types of people with money. And much like the homeland of his mother, often turned a blind eye, even if eyes did seem to follow them. Money bought silence. And money was about to pay for Jon’s misbehavior. The longer that Jon went on, the more angry Roman felt, until without warning, and a nodding of his head, he reached out to grab him by his hair and slammed him face first into the surface of the table, bouncing his head off of it in one solid, but loud move. Releasing his head just as quickly, he laced his fingers together and lowered his voice so that it was apparent he was more displeased than he had been at the beginning of the conversation,” I don’t like it when people make excuses for misbehaving. You see that Jon? You see what I did there? I hurt you. You made me hurt you. “ he explained as he stared him down over the top of his hands,” Is that what you want? To be hurt? Do you like being hurt Jon? Do you want me to keep hurting you? Because I really don’t like being a cuck. We don’t do that to Roman, do we Jon? “ It was, perhaps more unsettling to others in the booth directly beside them, only separated by a thin wall, that could not see, or hear the conversation properly, but the fact that Roman sounded calm, while still exuding that same effortless anger, was just wrong.

[mvltxmvsc-blog]

asynjja‌:

                     ❛ &. ┊     A slight chuckle, reverberating in the back of a throat; tongue tempted to counter, I know, I merely wanted to get on your nerves. But came a soft shake of her head instead and she welcomed the elaboration as though it signified a break from being herself. Teeth dug into the maroon of her lower lip, sigh escaping once mouth opened to answer instead, “ A few. But not ever since I moved here. ” Which was enough information, she reckoned, to urge even further questions – prying questions. She was not blind to the subtle spark in her counterpart’s eyes, the obvious interest in her personality ( albeit perhaps a little inappropriate still ). And yet was it enough to lighten the expression on often enough inexpressive features, the ride down to the spot the young woman had proposed to get a coffee perhaps already more enjoyable than she had hoped the nightly break altogether would be.

“ I’m the head of the current murder investigations. ” A smug grin, flickering briefly across pale olive lineaments as hands steered the car through traffic. And it was unashamedly blunt, the way palm was rested against a chest – or appeared so regardless of the intentions behind such provocative action. Tongue dragged across the corner of a mouth again, pensively so and perhaps in part to shift her focus back onto herself, onto the street. “ It doesn’t surprise me much. The first time I took on a case on behalf of the FBI, Carlisle, the older one with a mole on his chin, asked if someone had ordered Chinese. ” A rise of her brows, head nodding towards the slowly approaching silhouette of what appeared to be something between modern coffee shop and old-school diner. “ But I’ll talk to them early in the morning. – Is that where we’re headed? ”

                    ❛ &. ┊     Car slowed down in the presence of their destination, eyes roaming the surroundings in hopes of finding a parking lot – and when she had, was it only a question of time until the engine muted down and slender figure circled ‘round the vehicle’s shape to open the door for her younger counterpart to step out. “ I really hope the coffee’s worth it, because I have to be up and working again in less than seven hours. ” Lips curling upward, repressed the addition that she really didn’t need much sleep, and had Niamh… something about her, an undeniable ability to separate a mind from the stress at work. “ You got soy creamer in there, too? ”

“ Here? “ Niamh’s curiosity was visibly peaked as slender, yet supple legs crossed one over the other in the opposite direction,” Where did ye’ move from? Ye’ spent time in Scotland ever? “ the young woman asked, one hand reaching upwards to brush her hair over her own bare shoulder as she studied the side of Moa’s face. She wondered if her own interest was as seemingly obvious as it felt, at least in the romantic sense. Perhaps, it was less so, since they barely knew anything about each other, had only just met; but she liked to think that she was easy to read. Then again, if Moa wasn’t into women, it was rather common for most to simply glaze over the fact that she was interested. A common trait, she thought, for people who were generally unmoved by the same sex. Was it that they could really spot each other from a mile away, those in the gay community, or that they just seemed more perceptive to little things, since they were all so used to hiding due to scrutiny? Niamh liked to think of it as something more special, as she already had a plethora of other bullshit she had to deal with, that didn’t encapsulate her sexuality. She didn’t need to add another, slightly more depressing afterthought to it.

“ Murder? “ her ears felt like they were ringing with excitement, that delightful accent absolutely having a field day with that one single word. She had her full attention, but the moment she brought up that undeniably racist, and disgusting words of one of the other officer’s, she felt her blood boil, a fire blazing behind her eyes. “ A’ fuckin’ hate people so much sometimes. “ Niamh grumbled as she shook her head, glancing out of the window as she watched the scenery grow more familiar. “ Aye, that’s the one. “ she pointed with her well manicured fingertip.

Upon arrival, she exited the vehicle rather gracefully, placing her slender hands atop the door as she glanced at her counterpart, a playfully wicked smile upon her lips,” Listen, if the coffee ain’t worth it, I sure hope I am. “ pearly teeth exposed themselves in an almost cheshire like grin as she closed the door behind herself, a playfully confident bounce in her step as she walked ahead of the elder of the pair,” And I’d be happy te help keep ye’ awake fer the next few. “ sure, she knew it was cheeky, and obviously capable of being taken sexually, but she was nothing, if not playful and flirtatious. “ Fer ye? Anythin’. “ Niamh added as she lead the other woman into the mixed modern diner. Upon entry, she heard the playfully excited voice of one of her other female colleagues, a girl far younger than herself rushed over to hug her from behind the register. “ Darlin’ put a fresh one on fer my companion would ye, and bring us the soy creamer too would ye? “ here, the young slip of a thing danced away eagerly to procure the aforementioned items, whilst she, herself, was left to guide Moa to a more private, back booth. “ Care te join me?” she teased as she slid into the seat on one side, assuming Moa would probably sit by herself on the other.

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gcldcnhour‌:

– // ** the stage was getting set up for sound checks, and ronnie couldn’t help but wander the arena as everyone else quickly filed into their jobs. as people climbed to fiddle with the lights, he wondered if he should reach out to his sister, see how she was doing on tour or if they ever wanted to reunite. but she would probably ignore him like usual. so the blonde shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around, noticing a new face. it was clear that the guy wasn’t a usual, or an employee of the arena, so ronnie could only pin him as the opening act. “hey, you’re daithi right?” ronnie called out, walking up to him. “name’s ronnie. i’m the sound engineer, so i’ll be helping you with your sound check and everything tonight. you need anything?” he offered, trying to remain professional.

It really hadn’t been all that long since he’d gotten this far into the music business, so the idea of having sound checks, dress rehearsals, and a plethora of other performance related things, couldn’t have been more foreign to him. It felt like some enormous production. Well, in truth, it was. It hadn’t yet sank in that he was actually opening for a band he’d idolized for ages. It still felt like a dream. Eyelids fluttered when he heard someone call out to him over the hiss of the pyrotechnics, casually turning his head to and fro until his eyes landed upon the considerably taller of the two. ” Yeah, that would be me. “ his deep Irish accent barely audible over the bursts of fire rounds five feet away. “ Ronnie, did ye say? “ he leaned in closer, his smile soft as he listened to his words,” Pleasure te meet ye.” he replied as he took a couple steps in another direction to give them a little more clearance for the sound buffer. “ Is there somethin’ people usually ask fer? I’m still tryin’ te get my head wrapped around all’a this. “ Daithi confessed as he idly rubbed his fingertips together on his opposite hand, a slightly nervous habit he’d picked up over the years.

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onefoolishfool‌:

For a second he got worried. Who knows what could happen within an hour. Fortunately, Stefan offered to stay and he smiled gratefully. A little surprised when the other man asked him about him, but it was a nice change of pace. Getting to talk about the things he loved instead of reassuring everyone he was alright. And while his job was his main interest the detective did say no work-related things. So he picked his second favourite subject. “Well, writing and playing music. If it wasn’t for the fact that I never manage to write a full song I don’t think I would’ve become a doctor,” he smiled fondly. “There’s just something about putting notes together until they form a complete piece that makes it worth it,” getting to talk about his favourite thing was a sure way to cheer him up. “Problem is I never know how to end it. A fade out never seems to fit, and just cutting it off sounds too jarring,” Jeremy thought out loud. “Most of my songs are for my violin,” he explained, cutting himself short when he remembered something that put a damper on his spirit. “He still has it,” he continued sadly. Realizing Stefan might not understand what he’s talking about he explained it. “Eh, when he abducted me he also stole my violin as well. Made me play it for him,” Jeremy’s gaze drifted in front of him as he remembered it. Quickly he tried to push it away so he focussed back on the detective again. “How about you?’‘ 

“ You seem so young to even be a doctor, I take it you tested out early? “ Stefan asked, his eyes curious as he took the time to actually ask questions that held weight to them ,and didn’t seem empty. “ What made you want to become a doctor, if you’re so passionate about music, if you don’t mind me asking?” the elder of the two asked as he leaned his weight onto one knee. Of course he was one of those kind of stalkers. Fuckin’ creep. Thought he was Hannibal Lector or something. When Stefan got his hands on him, he’d wish he hadn’t thought himself so smart. “ Don’t worry, we’ll get it back for you, or we could get you a new one. “ the detective pointed out as he adjusted his weight so as to lean one arm onto his own knee,” You’re gonna laugh. “ he insisted, when asked about his own hobbies. “ I uhm. I like video games. Like, old school video games. Maybe some new school ones, but don’t judge me too hard.“ from beneath his shirt, he fished out a small silver chain, with a charm that closely resembled a silver Final Fantasy 8 era gunblade. Between his two fingers he dangled it, trying not to grin to brightly,” Kind of my guilty pleasure. I’ve got some friends who have been trying to convince me to play the online game, but I hate leveling alone.”

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hellxprivateinvestigator·:

Sam noticed that JD hadn’t denied his statement that he was handsome, but then again the man probably was in too much distress to really comment on his teasing. Whatever it was about him that made him different from the others seemed to upset JD. Or perhaps he was scared. But if Sam didn’t look like some contorted mask of fear he had trouble understanding why JD would be afraid of him. Had he said something that would suggest he was a threat? Or was this just an instance of someone complicating poor JD’s life? Sam hadn’t intended to complicate things, however as per usual he had a way of attracting trouble. In this case les to himself and more for the other man. “Well I mean if you want I can drive you home… I’m not a limo driver but the Mustang is parked out front,” he said tipping his chin in the direction of the parking lot. 

“Come on… you know that any fan of your books isn’t going to just let some dark and foreboding mystery slip by,” Sam said not moving from the door his head tilting in an inquisitive manner. His green eyes still filled with concern, and a noticeably bit of curiosity. “At the very least you shouldn’t drive yourself home if you’re not feeling well. And if you kick me out at your driveway I won’t hold it against you,” the private investigator offered in a reassuring tone. And more than likely he really wouldn’t have held it against the man if he chose to keep his secrets to himself. However being an investigator, Sam really wouldn’t be able to help his curiosity. 

“I don’t usually take a limo, too flashy, draws far too much attention. “ JD corrected the other man, even if it was meant to be a joke, it was far more important to him that it was clear that despite his otherwise lavish lifestyle, he tended to keep a low profile. “ Please. “ he’d left the confines of his home without his bodyguard anyway, just for a moments peace, to try and feel like a human being for once, and it still had ended up so disastrous. Now he was bringing a stranger back to his home because he seemed to be unique? Unique. The idea was laughable to his cynical mind. Whatever this fluke was, he was going to figure it out, and if it took divulging his life to a detective, perhaps that was the key. Hell, he was good at putting together puzzles, he had to be, right? Maybe he could unlock the keys to what it was, that had been going on.

“ Well it’s your lucky day. I’ve never invited a stranger, let alone anyone I haven’t hired, personally, into my home. Congratulations.” JD flourished ever so slightly, the gesture directed at the bathroom door,” Come on then, let’s get out of here. The longer we stay here, the less stable I feel and that’s a terribly bad thing for me. “ the author readily admitted this information, as he needed his caffeine and cigarettes to keep himself sane. Ha. Yeah, he was about as sane as they came. The younger of the two thought he was no more sane than Willy Wonka. The things he saw were just too outrageous to be real.

[mvltxmvsc-blog]

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hellxprivateinvestigator·:

Sam watched JD wash his face, leaning on the sink next to him in case he needed more support. He looked at the reflection in the mirror, and saw the handsome face of the author he’d seen on the books he read. When he saw the man starting to draw a contorted face on the surface of the mirror his eyes widened. It was the kind of thing he’d seen on corpses, a look of mangled horror that sent a shiver down his spine. “Since you were eight?” Sam repeated, trying to keep himself from exclaiming his surprise. There was no judgement on his face, no apprehension when the man told him what he saw. And while it would have been strange to most he’d had enough brushes with death, and madness to tell the man he sounded insane. “And I was just hoping that I was just so handsome you couldn’t help but notice,” the taller man teased with a grin. Though a quick glance at the mirror reminded him that maybe this wasn’t the kind of thing to joke about.

“Woah, wait…” Sam stepped around JD quickly pressing his back against the door and placing himself between the other man and the exit. He knew avoidance when he was looking at it. So for whatever reason JD didn’t want to question why it seemed Samuel was different. However being his ever curious self Sam couldn’t help but wonder. “I don’t think you sound crazy… I think you sound confused. This thing that you see… do you know why it started? Trauma maybe?” he asked tilting his head as he leaned on the door. By the looks of it they were alone in the bathroom so he figured standing like this would also keep anyone else from coming in.

“ Since I was eight. “ he parroted back as he stood amidst the bathroom, his shoulders heaving ever so slightly. He wanted to tell him he wasn’t wrong, that there was a desire, like the flicker of a flame beginning to light itself amidst a stack of wood, slowly burning in the pit of stomach, but he quickly, mentally snuffed it out with the tightening of his jaw. This wouldn’t do. He couldn’t have this. These feelings weren’t for him. “ Would that it could be so easy, Samuel. “ JD referred to him in his full name, not so much out of disinterest but because it sounded better to his ears.

When he tried to leave, he was abruptly stopped by the other man’s body, and he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he would not be capable of budging him. His own body was far too weak from lack of sleep, and a plethora of other bad habits. “ To some degree.. “ he replied as he tucked his hands beneath his arms, crossing them about his own chest. Listening to the sudden barrage of questions, the author could do no more than simply shake his head,” If we’re going to discuss such dark topics, I would prefer to be in a place I feel most comfortable. So unless you plan to take me back to my home, I would appreciate you letting me leave.” JD announced with some finality. He didn’t think that anyone, not a single soul, could possibly be that interested in him and his issues that they’d drive all the way out into seclusion, just to get his story. But then again, he still had paparazzi and death threats all the same. Why would Sam be any different? What had he done.

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hellxprivateinvestigator·:

Concern came over Sam’s face as the man kept staring at him. Now he was absolutely something was very wrong and he looked over his shoulders just to make certain he hadn’t missed anything. Instead all he saw were people sitting around, minding their own business, enjoying various cups of tea and coffee. Nothing seemed out of place. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. When he turned his attention back to JD his brows furrowed as he looked into his pupils to make certain he hadn’t taken anything, medicinal. As JD rose to his feet Sam found himself doing the same reaching out but not grabbing hold of the other man. Instead simply offering his hands or his arms in case he needed to steady himself.

“You’re afraid to fall asleep?” Sam asked, familiar enough with that condition to at least know what it meant. Though he didn’t fully understand the severity of it in JD’s case. If his dreams were anything like the stories he wrote the Private Investigator could understand why, but he figured he could ask for more details later. “Uh… sure I can help you to the men’s room, lean on me if you want. And I can catch you if you do faint, don’t worry,” he offered. He was strong, more than capable of supporting the other man if he needed it. As the pair of them headed to the bathroom they had attracted people’s attention, their eyes following them as they went. He pushed the door open carefully for JD, guiding himself over to the sink so he could wash his face.

“What did you see?” he asked the other man gently, making it clear that if the other man did not wish to share his hallucination than he would not berate him about it.

JD gave him a rather firm look when asked if he was afraid to fall asleep, as if it was a topic he didn’t really want to get into, considering, at the very least, the other man certainly knew that he wrote horror novels based upon his nightmares. When Sam agree’d to helping him, the author took a moment to pack all of his things into his bag, and slung it over his shoulder, far too protective of his work to just leave it laying around for someone to nick when he was away. Once prepared, he braced the larger man’s arm and made his way with him to the bathroom, settling his laptop bag nearest to him against a wall. With a trembling hand, he turned on the faucet and began washing his face, long dark locks falling about him like a messy curtain as he fought to reassure himself that all was well. A few splashes later, and an equally quivering twist of the knob to close off the flow, he glanced up unto the mirror but soon jerked back at his own reflection as, still, it was as disfigured as it always had been, but when he turned to look at Sam yet again, he calmed, seeing that gentle, worried expression, and the lack of terror upon it.  When asked what he saw, he leaned himself towards the mirror and breathed against it’s surface, his fingertip tracing out a ghoulish shape over his own face, with sunken hollowed eyes and a jaw that was inhumanly possible, features that contorted in ways that people shouldn’t, or couldn’t. He breathed on it once more to make it solid for a moment longer, before stepping back to grab his bag,” That’s what I look like to me. Every day. “ he stated matter of factly, before reaching out to grab his own bag once more,” I’ve looked like that every day of my life since I was eight years old, and every person on the street has looked the same.” JD looked almost lost as he raked his fingers back through his hair to push it out of his face,” When I first glanced up at you, I thought I saw this too, but now I see you clear as day. You’re the first face I’ve seen, properly, since I was a child, and it’s terrifying. You’re terrifyingly normal, if not-” he cut himself out, not wanting to say what else he’d thought of upon first sight of the other man’s face,” I.. I don’t understand it at all.” eyes darted to the stalls, wondering if others were listening to his words, knowing he sounded absolutely insane. “ Maybe you should forget what I’ve said. I sound ridiculous.” the other man waved his hand in attempt to deflect from the subject, and began to head out of the bathroom on his own, trying to close himself off, as completely as he had been when first they met. Maybe that was the issue, he had opened himself up even just the tiniest bit for the enjoyment of the other man. That was how he had ruined his peace of mind. He wasn’t going to be his father. He wasn’t going to be that man. He had to backtrack and make things right for the safety of everyone involved.

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hellxprivateinvestigator·:

“I enjoy it,” Sam said casually. “I mean it’s really not all the glitz and glamour you see on TV. Half the time I’m really just hunting down cheating spouses or trying to track distant relatives for people. Occasionally I’ll get something strange, usually from the police department. You know the kind of grunt work they don’t even want a beat cop wasting their time with…” he explained looking at the ashtray idly. Then when the man took the card he seemed to relax a little, his green eyes fixing on the man’s face and then on eyes that were suddenly looking back at him.

Perhaps he’d made it through the man’s initial hostility to something more companionable. So he tried to offer him a small smile, which faltered a little when JD’s jaw seemed to go slack. Once again he found himself self conscious about his face, touching at his cheek with the padding on his ring finger to make sure nothing was there. “The… card… it has my number, and earlier you said you didn’t want my number,” Sam offered as clarification. HIs blonde brows furrowed and he tilted his head.

“You alright? Do you want me to get you some water or something?” he offered, still mindful of the personal bubble JD seemed to have so he didn’t lean to close. However there was noticeable concern in his emerald eyes.

“ I see. “ in truth, he didn’t really watch television all that much, but the explanation was rather enlightening either way. He opened up a separate document and began to type as the other man spoke, using these moments to write down information, not only about the life of a private investigator, but about Sam. His demeanor, the way he spoke, his overall build, all up until that moment he’d realized he could actually see his face. 

“ The what? “ he spoke almost breathlessly, transfixed by his face. His heart hammered in his chest as he could not, in all his years, have imagined that an adult would look like this. He’d only had fleeting memories from childhood of what people had truly looked like, but now. Now he was seeing him in full color, his entire face, like a beacon in the middle of a world full of grey. What the hell was going on? 

“ I don’t know..” JD whispered ever so quietly, his own hand sliding up to touch his face, checking to see if he was awake with a pinch. When he realized he hadn’t fallen asleep to some blissful dream, that slender hand toppled to his lap, still in absolute awe. “ Would you, mind terribly, helping me accomplish something very odd? “ the shorter of the pair began, slowly standing to his feet as if they might give out on him at any moment,” I feel as though I might faint, I suffer from a terribly bad case of somniphobia, and I think I might be hallucinating. Could you steady me to the men’s room so I can splash water in my face? “

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@hellxprivateinvestigator​ @forcvcrmore​ @gqds-gift​

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hellxprivateinvestigator·:

Considering how the man had greeted him when he first approached him Sam wouldn’t have thought that the author cared too much for his opinion or anyone else’s for that matter. But he was pleasantly surprised to find out that the man was actually interested in his feedback. Even if it was primarily Samuel sharing all the things he liked about the man’s work. Not exactly constructive, but he hoped it was at least insightful. “Thanks,” he smiled sheepishly when the ashtary was brought a little closer, respecting the personal boundaries that JD seemed to have. Perhaps he he had a personal bubble he didn’t like crossed. Sam could accept that. After all he hadn’t approached the man with any kind of romantic intentions, he knew when he was dealing with someone out of his league. “I came to read… and drink coffee. I’m in between cases right now, so I’m trying to decompress. Even gave my assistant the day off,” he sighed out some smoke. “I’m a private investigator,” Sam shifted to dig in his pocket sliding over a business card with his name on it. SAMUEL SPADE. “Hopefully you’ll never need one, but it doesn’t hurt to have one you can call if you ever do. Or… should I take it back since this would count as me giving you my number?” He joked, though he was prepared to take the card back is JD really seemed to object.

He could feel the want behind his own eyes, knew his body craved to ease the other man’s nerves, but he dared not. If he did, what chaos would ensue? Instead, he averted his gaze to the computer screen for a moment, nodding in response to his gratitude,” I enjoy your company. “ JD stated rather boldly, hoping his words helped in some fashion, where he could not formally express himself without the fear of getting further involved with the other man. Once he’d expelled that tiny trinket of knowledge, he returned his focus to their current conversation.” In between cases?” he asked, only to soon find his answer, without needing to have inquired at all. “ Private investigator. I see. That actually sounds like a remarkable field of work, I’d certainly love to pick your brain sometime. “ - gathering knowledge about various lines of work often served him quite well when writing, and if he was honest, his kind always intrigued him. His father had worked homicide at a precinct, before the past had become the past. He wondered how people could truly get involved in that sort of ordeal without finding themselves dreadfully lost, much like Edison had. Spying the card set upon the table, he lifted it and slowly twirled the small slip of a thing between his fingers,studying it for a moment. It was here, that he finally glanced up for long enough to meet Sam’s face, but where his eyes had once imagined there to be a horrid jawline, now there was a remarkably handsome man. 

A face. 

He could actually fucking see his face. The revelation seemed to be so startling now, dark brown eyes having finally met Samuel’s lovely blue, that JD’s jaw went slightly slackened. “ Take.. what? “ he spoke almost breathlessly, seeming perplexed and startled simultaneously.He didn’t seem to be capable of stringing coherent thought together, as his eyes drifted away for a moment, looking at other patrons to see if this was just some fluke. But it was just him. Eager eyes traveled back to his face, now visibly soaking up every inch of him from head to toe as if he were a feast for him to devour. His throat began to constrict as other thoughts began to pummel him. Was this safe? Was this man’s unaltered face, alright for him to see? If he was seeing him in such a way, did that mean his control was slipping over whatever darkness his father had bestowed upon him in his youth?

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hellxprivateinvestigator‌:

Seeing that genuine smile on those lips caused Sam’s green eyes to brighten. He’d always liked making people smile, which most people didn’t gather from his more stoic resting expression. Not exactly a resting bitch face, but the kind of expression that suggested his brain was constantly working. Not that JD seemed overly interested in has face, if the way the man kept avoiding looking at him was any clue. Once again he didn’t take it personally, idly wondering if the man found it difficult to make eye contact with strangers. “I think you do a good job, turning dreams into stories… even nightmares into something people feel just as much as they are reading. Fear is very subjective, but I think you write in such a way that everyone finds it relatable. Everyone sees what Edison sees in their own way. I’m sorry, you’d probably rather be writing, rather than talking to a fan about your writing,” he said reaching over to flick his ashes into the tray.

Were he even capable of seeing his face in a realistic manner, he would have gladly enjoyed it, unfortunately, that was not the case. Such was par for the course in his normal life, and commonly the reason he kept people more than arms distance away. Most just assumed him private. Private didn’t even begin to explain JD. “ It’s always interesting, and constructive for an author, or any writer, to hear what others thing of their piece. Feedback, as it were.” the shorter of the two remarked, just as he felt the warmth of the other man’s body extend itself past him. How long had it been since he’d felt someone so dangerous close? Lying to oneself only aided in furthering the delusion that he could live a life of absolute solitude, but his health was declining due to his turbulent, self destructive habits. Good. He thought to himself as he lightly shuddered in response to the other man’s close proximity, his natural instinct drawing forth whatever scent he usually wore, as he leaned away from the ashtray. Slender fingertips carefully scooped up the dish and set it between the two tables as to keep him from leaning inwards again, his sight pulsating red from that sudden influx of perhaps desire, of whatever varying degree it occupied his mind, for however short lived it was. “ And what is it you came here to do? “ JD inquired as he flicked his wrist in demonstration towards the other man’s belongings.