HEY MOM DID U EXTEND UR ARM AND RELEASE YOUR PHONE INTO THE WASTE COLLECTOR?
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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IM LOSING MY MIND?? WHERE DID THE BREAD COME FROM. WHY IS IT SIDEWAYS. WHAT IS HAPPENING
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Would anyone like to join me in my New Year's tradition of reading about good things that happened this year?
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Arriving back at work after a two-week winter vacation, local marketing assistant Matthew Bueso told reporters Monday he was happy to return to the office with a fresh and rejuvenated loathing for his job. “It’s always nice to get away for a few weeks, clear my head, and come back invigorated with a newfound disgust for my place of employment and the various responsibilities of my thoroughly depressing job,” said Bueso, 38, noting that his time away had inspired him to complete mind-numbing administrative tasks, engage in idle discussions with his aggravating coworkers, and listen to bullshit inspirational speeches from his boss with a rekindled sense of anger and despair. Full Story
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In a shocking breach of White House security, President Joe Biden was reportedly carried away by ants Friday. According to witnesses, the 81-year-old commander-in-chief remained quite calm during his apparent abduction by the insects, showing no signs of resistance as the swarm of approximately 2,500 black carpenter ants hoisted him over their bodies using their powerful mandibles and began marching slowly but steadily toward the White House Rose Garden. Full Story
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A Series of Unfortunate Events | 1.01
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