musturd

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when I found out my friends have no siblings I always ask isn’t that kind of lonely??? And they are always like idk not really and yeah u can’t miss what you’ve never known I guess but some nights me and my little sister will stay up late even though we both have class tomorrow and we will listen to fast car by Tracy chapman on repeat no talking just us quietly listening and I think that even if I never knew my sister I would still miss her somehow

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not to be weird but every time i see you in my notifications or feed i’m like damn i hope she’s doing well. u were my fav mutual years ago😭

not weird at all!! i haven’t been on this account in years bc i left it when my abusive ex kept trying to message me thru it. came back tho bc i saw there was more activity on this one—including you! i miss tumblr humor and im very grateful that you’re still active on here bc so many people have left and the internet is changing so fast and to come back to you and a small handful of other people still posting makes me feel at home. i hope you’re doing well too ❤️

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If I ever decide to give up on you, just understand how much that took out of me. I’m the type to give endless chances, always have your back when you’re wrong and truly accept you for who you are…when the rest of the world doesn’t want you, I will. So if I ever give up on you? understand it took everything I had left inside of me to leave you alone. Because if I love you and care for you, there isn’t anything on this planet I wouldn’t do for you

(via only-good-fucking-vibes)

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if you ever do still check up on me, remember that i don’t want to hear from you ever again. keep your distance.

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finally blocked your other email address. 

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i love vibing with other girls who are non judgemental and just are nice

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kink: people with kind hearts and good intentions

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If he doesn’t fulfill you emotionally, you shouldn’t fulfill him sexually, don’t be his toy to leave whenever.

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If I’m the only one putting effort in; leave. If you’re adding nothing of positive value to my life; leave. If you’re not kind, compassionate and humble; leave. If you make me question my worth; leave. If you have some illusionary competition with me; leave. If you try to drag me into your misery; leave. If you take your bad day out on me; leave. If you compare me to anyone else; leave. If you try to make me jealous as an attempt at hurting me; leave. If you cannot show me the same amount of attention and affection in return; leave. If you do not love me; leave. Honestly, please just leave my life.

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it's january 2nd now but happy new year

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i really don't even think he knows or cares about how much he's fucked me up

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i hate realizing i can't piece my heart back together and realizing how out of sync my emotions and my thoughts are now. im so good at ignoring it all and channeling my energy into school and my health and my hobbies but that can only keep me busy for so long. when i'm alone and i stop i just feel so empty and he drained everything from me. he drained all my love and my hope and my happiness and my peace of mind. i want to be someone else. i hate being me i hate who i've become after him. i hate looking in the mirror and i hate feeling my own emptiness.

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you use me and play with me and take me for granted and then want to go off to find yourself and you left me such a wreck. you always left when you wanted and you always came back when you wanted and lived your life how you wanted. but i was always haunted with the thought and the memory and the damage from you. i was and i never am at peace.

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nothing i ever do and nothing i am will ever be good enough for people i fall in love with why did he fuck me up so bad why did he have to come into my life and ruin me i keep wanting to believe that im stronger after all he put me through but i'm seriously so emotionally fucked up i can't fix it anymore i can only ignore it and try my best not to use my emotions bc im so damaged i won't be able to handle it

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yikes random memory of him wanting another girl so bad when i was so in love w him..he was so hung up on her and he liked everything she did that he hated when i did it.. unrequited love just sucks so bad you guys im really just not good enough for anyone i get feelings for and im so drained from giving my heart and time and love and im numb and hopeless now

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Ah…….annuzzer day in bikini bottem………