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"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

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i changed my mind guys whatever's wrong with me really is special and there is no true diagnosis for it. and also im gonna live forever

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Old man yaoi

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"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

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Man, I almost drank myself to death yesterday, I can't even remember my name, if only there was someone that could help me.

The the trustworthy and saint-like lieutenant:

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me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten

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what’s happening with santa

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if looks could kill you'd be Jeff

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my "suicidal hermit" lifestyle has been largely detrimental to my emotional wellbeing

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