Text
i want to quit my job so badly is just depressing
0 notes
Text
so yeah im just taking everyday as it comes i guess, i really dont wannna be here anymore. its weird because i actually thought i gokt better? i remember at one point a few months ago i said to my friend “i can finally say i doont think im depressed or have anxiety anymore” its just crazy how this world can trick me so easily. actually is probs just my stupid head
0 notes
Text
my dad came home and had to call me an ambulance because i was throwing up and had really bad stomach cramps. im such a fucking prick for putting him through this. i thought i was past this. it feels awful knowing that no progress STILL.
0 notes
Text
i mean clearly it didnt work, thats why im typing this.
0 notes
Text
And as soon as they left i threw my phone at the wall, it broke completely. i went to the kitchen and poured some water, added ice. went into my dads room, into is draw. got every single packet of pills i could see. took them them into my room, took them out of the packets, grabbed them handful by handful. and i just cried. all i was thinking was i need something to happen i need change i need a bi thing to happen so that my pain and thoughts will be gone
0 notes
Text
so some friends stayed over at my house, and everything was fine eveything was really lovely. but then the next day i started to get really distant and sad, it was like a switch in my brain. it was like my brain had enough of pretending so all i could do was cry. and i had no explanation for it, i just had to say i was fine. so i asked my friends to leave. i was feel so manic, ive not been like that in so long. i was pretty much sober too
0 notes
Text
so everything was going so well (kinda) like i have a job now, i have money, a home? but my heads still west???? i dont get it i thought id be happy now
0 notes
Text
ive been awake in this world for too long
0 notes
Text
slept such a lovely day away, woe up to **** being all buddy buddy with ****** cba so fake.
0 notes
Text
I feel like if my life was a film now would be the perfect time for the character to kill themselves, I’ve done what I wanted to do I’ve been though all the crippling sad shit now and what’s the point in repeating the story. My life is dismal the film is dragging on now now would be perfect ffs
0 notes
Text
Right it’s getting to the fucking point now I’m stone cold sober and thinking about suicide Hello intrusive thoughts u have not been missed but u also have because it’s too much to push you away anymore I’d rather feel like this than have the pressure of having to feel nothing in order to keep my mind on track
0 notes
Text
Imagine the release when u die omg I don’t even want to die right now or maybe I do I might just be dismissing the inevitable but I feel so stupid saying that I want to die but...... I don’t exactly wanna live
0 notes
Text
I feel like I can only cry if I draw blood like I’m gonna explode if I don’t see it so I can fucking feel something for once why am I getting like this again
0 notes
Text
I would do anything to be able to starve myself I just can’t do it got a massive take away because “self love night” but it’s just gonna make me hate myself more in the morning
0 notes
Text
Why do I miss everything about Xanax, I miss feeling cheap and dull because at least then I had adventure in my life. Now I feel so empty but also so full I just can’t I feel like I’m gonna explode and shrivel up at the same time I don’t like feeling like this when I’m sober it makes me think more into it and I don’t fucking like thinking
0 notes