multi-dudes

[multi-dudes]

Believe it or not, your internalized ableism probably DOES rub off onto others without you realizing it. I have always had extreme pain while walking ever since I could remember. My parents constantly told me it was because I never exercised enough, so I learned to just shut it down and be quiet.

I catch myself feeling weird and confused when someone else, “can’t just be quiet and suck it up too.” However, I never want to perpetuate that onto someone.

I remember how it felt to be holding back tears as it felt like my bones were going to snap. I remember how it felt when I stepped wrong and had to hold back a scream. That wasn’t fair to me, and it will never be fair to others.

Sometimes dismantling your self hate dismantles all hate.

[multi-dudes]

not only is the evil alter trope stupid and bad but it also just doesn't come close to capturing the true horrific realities of being a system, such as one of your headmates being a swiftie

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Headspace but its just:

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sure

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the fuck was i cooking three years ago

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why is plural horror always "oh no my evil alter i can feel it taking over..... run......its gonna kill youuu aaarhghdf........ IM THE EVIL ALTER !!!" and never like. hey isnt it fucked up how obbsessed people are with your body and an image of you they force upon you from cobbled together lies and refuse to understand or aknwoledge you and your real self - not on a metaphorical level, on a literal one. about living your life in the shadow of someone elses, about living someone elses life entirely. about bekng forced to play dress-up like someone who never existed. not even being seen as real.

[multi-dudes]

When life finally gets calm, it can feel wrong. Like you’re waiting for it all to fall apart.

You’re not broken. Your brain just isn’t used to peace yet.

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Just because it feels urgent doesn't mean it is urgent.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is not every feeling that screams “DO SOMETHING NOW!” actually needs an immediate reaction.

When you live with BPD, trauma, or anxiety, emotions can hit like tidal waves. Your brain says 'This is life or death. Fix it. Act now.' But so often, that urgency is just your nervous system firing alarms. It feels critical, but it isn’t always reality.

Learning to sit with the wave looks like this:

Take a breath before you respond.

Remind yourself: This feels urgent, but I can wait.

Let the emotion rise and fall, like water washing over you.

Urge surfing!

Tell yourself things like:

I am allowed to feel these urges, but I don't need to act on them.

Not now, later (Urge Surfing again)

I hear you, but we're not going to do that.

When you don’t immediately react, you give yourself the power to choose your next step instead of getting dragged by the current.

You’re allowed to pause. You’re allowed to wait. And often, the wave passes faster than you think.

[multi-dudes]

Homeschooling can be done well, even if the ideal homeschool is a pipedream for many in our current totally fucked societal structure. We can say "oh, there's no great option" forever, but what happens when one literally ruins your life and gives you baggage you can't begin to unpack, because you haven't developed the skills to yet? Why can't we make a great option then? Why not just take a gap year to homeschool and not go all or nothing into it?

Let's not even go with public school sucking. Private schools are even worse, suffocating bullying vaccums in their own way, again perpetuated in the same way as public school facilities do it. It's not even that most homeschooling parents do it full time for their entire lives - but they save their children the waste of time that is middle school and years surrounding. I doubted homeschooling until I grew up, talked to parents who take their kids out to homeschool them (and no, not teach them personally the entire time, most of these people at two jobs at minimum), and their kids have genuine ability to express themsleves freely. They will be much better off than I ever was being in school K-12 without a single gap.

The issue with the idea that homeschool is somehow the worse option seems to be that is has the connotation of leaving kids behind, especially with abusive or "incorrect" parents. But that already happens to kids who go to a physical location to "learn". They still have to come home, even if they can get a breather at school, and get left behind with an obscenely poor education plan all the same. We can't act like kids who go through abuse at home exactly all love school, either - we often are not ready but blamed for our inability to be good little workers.

You're not afraid of homeschool, you're afraid of who you think is homeschooling, how you imagine them doing it, and why they do it.

Another example of ridiculous gendered parenting, the harm it does and how early it starts.

Tiktok OP's pronouns are he/him.

[multi-dudes]

i think its really really a bad sign of our school system that people consistently have to tell highschool and middleschool students "it gets better" and that adults generally agree upon HS being the worst of their life and childhood. Like do you guys understand how bad that is.

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I was going to apologize for not posting in what I thought was at least half a year but it's been two months. Cool nice very cool

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I mean let's be real. Feeling sudden amnesia and feeling like you yourself are basically fainting on a struggling switch out while someone else is clearly trying to come into the front is pretty fucking scary. Especially since most of us share the same short term memory for the most part, excluding daily amnesia we have to bridge.

But dude. Buddy. What the fuck have you been doing to your system for like a decade. Theres a reason gatekeeper is a pretty popular term to use. I don't blame you but also nah we are all in this brain we'll always be discovered one way or another. We are all each other just you wait I'll always be with you and find you again

Throwback to when we first were conscious about experiencing switches and we were afraid we could switch into an alter that would basically "steal" the body and never let anyone else switch back out. If I said the host was projecting is that too on the nose LMAO

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Throwback to when we first were conscious about experiencing switches and we were afraid we could switch into an alter that would basically "steal" the body and never let anyone else switch back out. If I said the host was projecting is that too on the nose LMAO

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I am going to get so stoned I can't do anything but vibe, fold my laundry with music, and make lemongrass tea. And I will enjoy it goddamnit