mugwumped-blog1 - Tumblr blog

mugwumped-blog1 · 7 years ago

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On the buses

This morning I was on my home from work on an early (5am) bus. In the UK in October this means it’s still very dark and few people are travelling outbound at that time of day. Today I was the only person on the upper deck until two men in their late 20’s hopped on and sat up front. They were drunk. Really stinking drunk. And clearly having a great time.

They were singing and yelling about people on the street looking like Harry Potter.

‘Oi, you look like ‘arry potter!’

Oi, he looks like ‘arry potter too!’

‘TWO HARRYS!’

‘Must have done it with...’

‘SCIENCE!’

‘Clones!’

‘Dolly the Harry Potter sheep at hogwarts!’

‘Dolly Pottern! - I bet she sings Joelene on karaoke night at the Three Broomsticks!’

Etc etc.

It was amusing and because they were yelling all this at people outside of the bus it was easy to hear over the music on my earphones.

Now, I work in the media, and all of the Harvey Weinstein allegations and the #MeToo campaign have generated a lot of coverage here. I have read pages upon pages of it, and it has reminded me of something that happened more than 10yrs ago in Brisbane, Australia.

Something I thought I’d dealt with.

I was walking to my car in an area I knew inside out. I was young. I felt invincible. It was Brisbane at midnight on a Friday - not scary at all.

But I encountered a couple of drunk guys who were just having some playful banter as they walked along behind me. I engaged, we were friendly, then I thanked them for walking me to the street where my car was parked and bid them goodnight. They left.

At least, I thought they left. One of them did. But the other one followed me to my car and proceeded to sexually assault me.

I was lucky he was so drunk.

I fought.

I got away and managed to get into my car - locking the doors. He climbed onto the bonnet and veered between apologising and ordering me out so he could finish what he started.

I hit the horn.

He stayed.

I used the wipers and spray.

He punched the windscreen and screamed at me.

I was so scared that I ended up driving off with him clinging to the bonnet and taking a corner at speed so he’d fall off.

I saw him get up and chase my car as I drove away.

I made it home. I didn’t go to the police. I told my friends a bit of the story, but not all of it. I felt like it was my fault for engaging with the boys’ banter in the first place. The reoccurring thought was ‘you should have known better.’

‘You should have known better.’

Back to today on the bus: One of the guys saw me trying to hide my smile at their scientific Harry Potter/Parton conclusions and took it as an invitation to chat. I smiled, pointed at my earphones and looked down at my phone, praying they’d take the hint.

‘Oi love’

‘Do you like Harry Potter then?’

‘Come on, we just wanna chat’

They tried a couple more times before being distracted by something else. They did nothing wrong.

But by this time I was a quivering mess. I didn’t realise how terrified I was until I looked down to notice that my hands were shaking so much that I couldn’t read the screen on my phone.

At this point the driver came upstairs to check everything was ok. He was sweet, asked if I was okay - I said I was fine, thanked him, and he completely diffused the situation by telling the lads he thought he saw Harry Potter too once, but then - he drives a night bus...

They left me alone and I made it home safely.

But I can’t get it out of my head.

I guess I’m writing this in the hope that the next time you’ve had a bit to drink and someone doesn’t engage with you, you’ll let them be.

You may just be looking for a laugh - but we are just looking to make it home.

You may be scared your pride might take a hit - but we are terrified that we’ll be ones taking the hit.

It’s generally not you the person we are trying desperately to avoid - but the situation.

And all the Weinstein stuff has made a lot of horrible experiences incredibly raw again for a lot of people.

So help us out and follow the advice of comedian Peter White -

“I think the golden rule for men should be: If you’re a man, don’t say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldn’t want a man saying to you in prison.”

#golden rule me too HarryPottern Weinstein

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mugwumped-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Today I weep

I weep for those trapped in the tower I weep for those who left people behind I weep for the bystanders witnessing neighbours begging for help -

For mercy

I weep for the first responders I weep for the firefighters limited by their equipment Limited by their numbers Limited by their budgets

And their bodies

I weep for the paramedics Who run towards danger For minimum wage

And ridiculous hours

I weep for medics Who work to save lives With one eye on the ledger

I weep for the NHS

Today I weep for the police Who are damned if they do And damned if they don’t

But always culpable

I weep for the officials who again are asked to explain without knowing all the facts I weep for the press officers who struggle to grasp the details I weep for the journalists told not to come back without an angle

The 24h news cycle

I weep for the inevitable blame For middle managers under pressure to save funds For the councils who lost it all in the financial crash

For the government

I weep with anger With frustration With helplessness

At the banks

Today I weep For the empty spaces left In schools Communities Families

And hearts

Today I weep for the ones we lost last week To three men In a van With knives

And hatred

I weep for those we lost the week before Who were dancing And laughing With friends

With joy

I weep for Westminster For Orlando For Paris