mtgrgn
mtgrgn
mtgrgn
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mtgrgn · 45 minutes ago
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if you neglect to finish a creative project, you might discard its body and never publish it or even work on it again... but its soul, the knowledge & ideas & experience you gained from making it, still belongs to you. many such souls can be acquired this way and used to fuel your future ambitions, inspiring you or granting you powers. this is the dark art of failure. the necromancy of creative expression!!!
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mtgrgn · 54 minutes ago
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Wrong: Ada Lovelace invented computer science and immediately tried to use it to cheat at gambling because she was Lord Byron's daughter.
Right: Ada Lovelace invented computer science and immediately tried to use it to cheat at gambling because that was the closest you could get in 1850 to being a Super Mario 64 speedrunner.
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mtgrgn · 2 hours ago
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writing noncon is okay as long as the whole thing reads like the author was shaking their head disapprovingly
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mtgrgn · 2 hours ago
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writing noncon is okay as long as the whole thing reads like the author was shaking their head disapprovingly
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mtgrgn · 3 hours ago
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writing noncon is okay as long as the whole thing reads like the author was shaking their head disapprovingly
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mtgrgn · 3 hours ago
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everyone gets the death penalty except the victim, who is sentenced to life in prison
which, incidentally, is where the sequel takes place
writing noncon is okay as long as the whole thing reads like the author was shaking their head disapprovingly
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mtgrgn · 3 hours ago
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writing noncon is okay as long as the whole thing reads like the author was shaking their head disapprovingly
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mtgrgn · 3 hours ago
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My favorite Tolkien illustrations by Cor Blok in no particular order:
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Bilbo and Gollum. Bilbo is the moon for some reason which is cool i guess
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Smeagol and Deagol. I love the seaweed in the background, great attention to detail
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Frodo serving Robin Hood-realness at his and Bilbo’s birthday party. Literally iconic
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Isildur taking the ring from Sauron. Its great but I would like to see more of Sauron than just his hand, because I think he has the potential to look really cool
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Pippin jumping into the bath at Crickhollow… no comment
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Bilbo gives the Mithril coat to Frodo. Great poses, very stiff and awkward. I like it.
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The fellowship. This one is a classic.
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Gandalf and the balrog. Amazing
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Boromir trying to take the ring from Frodo. I love the way he reaches for his sword, it looks very natural
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Merry and Pippin and Treebeard. I like his legs and the fact that it looks like he’s wearing shorts.
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mtgrgn · 4 hours ago
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The Hour of Truth
The spell made people tell the truth.
It was expensive, but not so expensive it didn't find its use. The intelligence services spent enormous amounts of money on it, it was part of every serious interview, and the legal system relied on it.
This isn't a story about one of those. It's a story about Michael and Sarah, in their dining room with a ReadySpell, engaged to be married but without a date set. It was a gift they were giving to themselves, something that would reassure them, a chance to explore each other. Michael was cheery about the whole thing, but Sarah was decidedly less so.
She unrolled the parchment onto the table they'd assembled from a kit three months prior. She read the instructions on the card, which were dead simple, then placed her fingers on two corners of the parchment, with Michael doing the same. The complex lines in the center glowed, a circle burst into flames for half a second, and then it went still and dull.
"That's it then?" Michael asked. He withdrew his fingers. "That's the whole thing? I somehow thought it would be ... more."
"We're supposed to test it," she said, withdrawing her own fingers and picking up the card. "Say something false. There are test phrases."
"Two plus two is ... hrm. Four." He frowned. "I could feel a resistance. What an odd feeling."
"My head ... no, can't do it," Sarah said, reading the first part from the card. "It says, 'my head exploded today'. I can't finish the sentence."
"Well then," Michael said. He spread his hands, palms up. "Here we are."
"One hour," Sarah said with a nod. She placed the instruction card down and flipped the small hourglass that had come with the kit.
"Do you love me?" Michael asked.
"I do," Sarah replied. She said it solemnly. "Do you love me?"
"Of course," Michael replied. "Well, it would have been extremely embarrassing if we hadn't answered those correctly." He tapped his fingers on the table for a moment. "How many children do you want?"
"Two, or maybe three," said Sarah.
"I want two, but could go for a third," said Michael.
They had talked about it before. You didn't get engaged after four years of dating without having had those conversations at some point.
"It's interesting, isn't it?" asked Michael. "We know each other, but I suppose there's always at least a little doubt until you're under the spell. A difference between knowing and knowing."
"We only have an hour," said Sarah. "Rapid fire?"
"Sure," said Michael with a nod.
"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" asked Sarah.
"Yes," said Michael. "You?"
"Yes. Will you stay faithful to me?"
"Yes. You?"
"Yes. Do you have unresolved feelings for anyone?"
"No. You?"
"No." Sarah paused. "How often do you need to have sex?"
"Need?" asked Michael. "I'm not sure I even agree with that question. But I can answer want, which is what I've told you before, maybe two or three times a week."
"How often does it end up being that we have sex?" asked Sarah.
"Less than that," said Michael. He frowned at her. "Can you do that, ask questions you know the answer to? I suppose so."
"It's two point one times a week," said Sarah.
"How can you be that precise?" asked Michael.
"I've been tracking it," said Sarah. She folded her hands in front of her. "You know I like data. And I'll need to track it when we're trying for children."
"Is that the only reason you've been tracking it?" asked Michael. He had leaned back in his chair slightly.
"I was worried that it might come up," said Sarah with a slight sigh. "I was worried that we might get in an argument and you would say that we weren't having sex enough, and I wanted pre-emptive ammunition."
The spell did not actually compel her to say all that, but he could have poked and prodded and gotten around vague answers, so it was best to just tell him. She wasn't proud of it.
"How many times a week would be the right number for you?" asked Michael.
"Once a week," Sarah replied, which was what she'd told him before. "In an ideal world, I suppose."
"And you're saying that it's two?" asked Michael.
"Two point one," said Sarah.
"Is this ... a problem?" asked Michael. "I mean, it should be a compromise between us."
"It is a compromise," said Sarah. "And it's one that I'm fine with." She was coming off as defensive, she knew, but it was the truth, the spell still had plenty of time left.
It seemed to take him a moment to recognize that.
"You don't resent me?" asked Michael.
"No," said Sarah. She let a beat pass, to give him a chance to ask another question, then reached down to her purse and pulled out her notebook.
"Is that a notebook?" asked Michael.
"I had a few things prepared," said Sarah.
"Ah," said Michael. "Well, I'm an open book." He smiled at her.
Sarah looked down at the notebook. "Where were you last Thursday?"
"I ... need to think about that," said Michael. "I was working late, preparing for the pitch. I sent you a message, didn't I?"
"You did," said Sarah. "What happened after the pitch?"
"I came home," said Michael.
"Did you do anything else between finishing work and coming home?" she asked.
"No," he said.
She looked down at her notebook again. "Last June you went on a work trip, what did you do together?"
Michael looked at her for a moment. "We went out to dinner," he said, and anticipating the follow-up questions, he continued, "Afterward, on the second night we were there, the guys wanted to go to a strip club, and they did, but instead of doing that, I went back to my hotel room and sat there alone, because I knew you wouldn't understand that it's just ... a thing men do. But I didn't go to the strip club, I didn't see naked women, I just sat there watching a movie."
"Are you annoyed with me?" Sarah asked.
"Yes," Michael replied. "You don't trust me, and it's important, if we're getting married, for you to trust me."
"You cheated on me," Sarah said.
Michael pursed his lips. "Does it do us any good to have this conversation again with the spell active?"
"Probably, yes," Sarah said. "It would let me know you were honest."
Michael nodded. "It was one time. I had been drinking. There was something electric in the air, I don't know, this raw attraction that I had never felt, and I thought about you, and the thought seemed to just slide right off my brain. And then afterward, I felt so much guilt, like I had destroyed my entire life, and we'd only been dating for six months, so it felt like it was a sign, like I had revealed, too late, what you meant to me."
"When you went to bed with her, you thought that it was casual," Sarah said. "You thought that you would get away with it."
"Now hold on," Michael said, leaning forward slightly. "I was the one who told you. No one outed me, no one found anything out, it was my own conscience."
"A month late," said Sarah.
Michael nodded. "A month late. I wish that it had never happened. If it did have to happen, then I wish that I had told you right away. I was an asshole. But I've been faithful to you since then, I haven't done anything else, I ... I love you."
"Do you still think about her?" asked Sarah.
"Every now and then," said Michael. "Every month or two, she comes to mind. Mostly in a negative way."
"Mostly?" asked Sarah.
"Please," said Michael. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't think it's good that you keep dwelling on this, that you won't let this go." He looked down at the scroll, which had curled up slightly. "Is this why you wanted to do this?"
"Yes," said Sarah. "You said 'mostly', what does that mean? Mostly a negative way, which means that sometimes it's a positive way. Explain how."
Michael grit his teeth. "I am telling you, from the bottom of my heart, with a truth spell active, that it's not going to be good for either of us if we go down this path."
"I'm not marrying you unless you answer," Sarah said.
"That's the truth?" asked Michael. "I mean, you could have told me that before, you could have said that without the spell."
"You would have thought I was being manipulative," she replied.
"I think you're being manipulative now," Michael said. "You love me? You forgive me? You want to marry me?"
"Yes, yes, yes," said Sarah. "We're pulling out a rotten tooth, as I see it. I would have pulled it out on my own, if I could have, but I need you, and I need truth."
Michael took a breath. "I love you so much. You mean the world to me. I am so thankful to be marrying you, if that still happens." He took another breath. "The only thing I think, the only positive thought I have about her, is that she was more enthusiastic in bed. But I love you, Sarah, you are the only one I want to be with, it's not something that weighs on me, it's a consideration but it pales in comparison to everything else, you're smart, you're funny, you make me want to be a better man, these past four years I've become a better man."
"There have been times when you think to yourself that she was better in bed than I am?" asked Sarah. She had gone very still. She was swallowing the idea, in the same way that someone might swallow a caltrop.
"No," said Michael. "She wasn't 'better', she just ... wanted it in a way that you didn't. Don't. She was hungry for me in a way that you never are."
Sarah began to cry.
"I'm so sorry," said Michael. "But it doesn't mean anything to me, I told you that, it's an idle thought, it's got nothing to do with marriage, with partnership."
"I think I might be gay," said Sarah.
Michael stared at her. "What?" he asked. "What ... what does that mean?" He looked at the timer, which was still running down. "You said that once a week was what you'd prefer, did you mean with women?"
"No, I ..." she was sniffling, and went to her purse for a tissue, which she used to blot away her tears and wipe liquified snot from where it had gathered on her upper lip. "I enjoy having sex with you, I like the feeling of it. I do. That's true." She said it as though it was almost a revelation to hear it said under the truth spell, as though she wasn't certain that it would pass muster.
"Then what do you mean?" asked Michael. "Do you mean you might be ... bisexual?"
"I felt that heat for a woman," Sarah said. "For several women." She let out a breath. "I never did anything with them, I never even knew if it's what they would have wanted, but ... I don't know. It's confusing."
"But you still want to marry me," said Michael. "Even with that."
"I do," said Sarah. "I love you."
"I love you too," said Michael. He watched her face, as though he could read something there. He looked down at the timer. "Do you think this marriage is a good idea?"
"Yes," she replied. "Yes enough that I didn't have to add qualifications, I guess." She gave a nervous laugh. "Do you?"
"Yes," said Michael.
But as soon as he said it, he wasn't sure that it was true. Did the spell work like that? Could you say something that was untrue after you said it? There was a rising panic inside him, a feeling of being trapped with her that he'd never felt before, not before the affair or after.
"Let's set this aside," she said. "Let's be done with it. Okay?"
Michael nodded. He had wanted to say 'okay', but it wasn't.
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mtgrgn · 5 hours ago
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fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.
hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.
hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy
hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it
hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently
hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love
horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho
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mtgrgn · 7 hours ago
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He is actually a deer
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mtgrgn · 8 hours ago
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Also, I took a most perfect picture of a bug yesterday
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mtgrgn · 9 hours ago
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ふわふわ
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mtgrgn · 10 hours ago
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mtgrgn · 11 hours ago
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my touhou tips for beginners and strugglers
try not to get pushed against the very bottom of the screen. advance up through gaps in the patterns instead of waiting for them to get to you
sometimes staying still is the best option. don't panic dodge just because you can't process what's coming at you, you're very likely to just slam yourself into a bullet
practice small movements. very very small movements. no smaller than that. the smallest you possibly can. it will come in handy. do not move more than you have to
IMPORTANT: when you're done playing, imagine those women kissing. this will make it worth it whether you win or lose
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mtgrgn · 12 hours ago
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hmmm
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mtgrgn · 13 hours ago
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