mrsgarramond

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finished reading the house in the cerulean sea

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can these guys quit it.

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I think it's really funny that reading the discworld witch books (at least the ones that are Weatherwax+Ogg+Magrat), Granny immediately seems like the scariest one by far. She seems like a terrifying force of nature accompanied by a jovial old grandma and an insecure young woman. But as the series progress, the times when Granny holds back and Nanny and Magrat jovially engage in brutal physical violence add up. Now I'm not saying you *shouldn't* be scared of Granny, I'm just saying that she has a rather strong conscience in her way, whereas Magrat and Nanny will both sucker punch you, kick you between the legs and happily step over your groaning body. Granny is to be feared, but Nanny doesn't fight fair and Magrat will kill a motherfucker. Terry Pratchett really knew how to write female characters.

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For the ear tests words...

...as the tongue tastes food...

...let us discern for ourselves what is right...

...let us learn together what is good. --Job, 34:3 & 34:4.

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This paints such a beautiful picture

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I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought "why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff," so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It's alright if you can't because apparently I fuckin couldn't either

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what's growing in the garden of Crowley and Aziraphale:

- strawberries.

in the middle of May Crowley gets up earlier every morning, while Aziraphale is still asleep, and goes to the garden to pick up fresh strawberries for the angel. He especially likes to lick the red juice from the corner of his angel's mouth.

- raspberries.

Aziraphale took the recipe of the raspberry jam from the old lady who lives in the near village. so now Crowley provides him the raspberries of tiptop quality, and Aziraphale makes the jam by himself and then puts it in all pastries he's baking.

- apples.

because they have a good sense of humour, a sweet feeling of nostalgia, and a foundness for symbolism.

- pears.

Aziraphale really likes the pears, and Crowley really likes pleasing him.

- grapes.

Crowley had an idea to start making the wine of their own, but he soon discovered he's better at drinking than making.

- yellow daisies.

these ones are under Aziraphale's care. Crowley still doesn't get why he's so insisted of tendering them and what's so special about yellow flowers, but he doesn't question the angel's interest in the gardening.

- nemophila / baby blue eyes.

they're Crowley's favourites, but they don't need to know that.

- irises.

Aziraphale suggested them and now Crowley always smiles when looking at the violet blooms. the symbol of eternal love and devotion.

- white lilies.

Crowley's present for Aziraphale along with a golden ring. they wanted to make them official "group of two of them" in a human way.

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that makes me so emotional, like what do you mean their names in the hearts?? what do you mean it's an apple tree?! what do you "we've come to a decision..." ?!!??

we've come to a decision means THEY'VE come to a decision, like TOGETHER

I'm crying oh god

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please just 90 minutes of them cuddling and being in love

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"Oh so we should just eat anything we want??"

Well actually YES but also:

Restricting food Does Stuff To Your Brain. "Restricting" doesn't mean stopping when you're full. I feel like this is what gets misunderstood a lot. It means placing rules and limits on food that supercede what your body is signalling that it wants. Let's use cookies as an example. Restricting would be:

- I can only have cookies when I deserve them.

- I can only have cookies when I'm alone.

- I can only have two cookies.

- I can only have low-calorie cookies.

- I can only have cookies on set days, or so-called cheat days.

- I can't have cookies.

- I can't have cookies in the house.

- I'm bad when I eat cookies.

- Cookies are a bad food and I must compensate for having eaten them.

Whether or not you stick to the restrictions you set, your brain is learning to be an anxious mess around cookies. It might want to avoid anywhere that has cookies. It might feel shame for wanting or eating cookies. It might get exhausted from suppressing the craving and decide to binge. It might go into binge mode every time you eat cookies because you've taught your body that This Will Not Be Available Whenever. It might feel ridiculously important to eat all the cookies while you can.

I know we're all so used to constantly talking about food, diets, weight and bodies, and it's completely normalised to look at absolutely everything you eat and assign it the level of guilt you're gonna feel for eating it, and to brag about not eating this and that, and to announce that you know it's a Naughty Indulgence when you eat anything sweet.

But oh my god, it's such a huge weight off your shoulders to just let yourself eat cookies because you wanted cookies and stop when you feel satiated and know that the cookies will be available next time you want cookies because you don't need to earn them in any way. Because a brain that knows it can have cookies whenever it wants cookies, doesn't crave cookies all the time. Nor does it feel any self-loathing when it does crave cookies.

And I just wish everyone a very chill brain and some cookies

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you should have been there, you should have seen it

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I’m gonna start using this as a reaction image for whenever I hear some less inspired opinions from my peers

Art by @rebelflet

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Every few steps she looks back to check on her little kitty cat 🐈🥺

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i love him

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EXCUSE ME????

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Moments in Going Postal that made me yelp with laughter...

Good gods, the madness is catching, Moist thought, as the golem's glow disappeared into the darkness outside. I am not the postmaster, I'm some poor bastard who's the victim of some stupid...experiment. What a place! What a situation! What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter (p. 64).

Dammit, Sir Terry, put that dodgeball DOWN. (Going Postal was published in 2005.)

2. A voice from behind him said: 'The postman came down like a wolf on the fold / His cohorts all gleaming in azure and gold...' (p. 217)

If you don't know it, look up "The Destruction of Sennacherib." Cackle with me.

In conclusion, I love Moist von Lipwig. So much. He's as if Howl Pendragon and Miles Vorkosigan and Eugenides lived in the body of one very pathetic wet cat.