mr-nault-it-all

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Major human pastimes:

frying dough

classifying things and then arguing about the classifications

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Just so we’re clear

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No catch, no secret thing, no 'its plastic but im not calling it that'.

Choose one.

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No catch, no secret thing, no 'its plastic but im not calling it that'.

Choose one.

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This reads like a Dark Souls boss fight

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Imagine unexpectedly popping up in Valhalla with your pants around your ankles because just half a minute ago you were taking a shit so bad that the Viking gods decided that it should count as dying in battle.

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there is milk in girls

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trinity family

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commission work 🐈

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original by clairetablizo

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I don't fuck them bugs lmfao

the start of a comic i was making in 2023 about a mosquitos point of view

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Once again randomly remembered this story about a couple who had a small parrot - pretty sure it was a budgie - who didn't talk but learned to communicate with people in its own way. Once it figured out that people always turn to check their phones when the notification sound comes on, it started making the text message notification sound to request human attention. The parrot also liked to follow people to the door whenever guests were leaving, and would use its wings to pantomime the motions of a person putting their coat on. A very clever, charming bird.

And every once in a while it just randomly hated some people. Not for any real reason, or even reason to suspect bad vibes, but by deciding "fuck this person in particular" for shits and giggles alone. And one time when the owners had invited a new friend to their home, the bird decided that it Did Not Like Her.

So in the middle of polite conversation, the bird - who was free to roam around the apartment at the time - hopped onto the living room coffee table, right in front of the unwanted guest. And in that moment, the owners put two and two together and understood that whatever mischief the bird had decided to do, it was now too late to stop it.

But instead of unleashing the absolute hell that even the tiniest displeased parrot could be capable of, the little budgie made its little "may I have your attention please" cell phone notification sound, and once the guest was focused on the bird, looked at her dead in the eye while doing the putting-my-coat-on wing motion.

The guest did not recognise the pantomime for what it was, but she was nonetheless delighted that the parrot would do a little wing-roll dance for her. And the host couple were at first too stunned and then too polite to tell her how impressive that gesture truly was. Their bird had shown both remarkable restraint and cleverness by using its entire vocabulary of human communication just to say

"I have an important announcement: I think you should leave."

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you fuckers dont know about my knife knife

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Slaves who escaped were breaking the law. Literally. Outright.

Jewish people who escaped the Nazis were breaking the law. Literally. Outright.

The law is a horrible judge of morality.