mr-hydes-poetry-blog

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Im gay, sad and he knows it

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Eldritch gods exist, because they’re us. To many other species, we are massive, ancient beings with unfathomable knowledge of the universe and a tendency to wipe them out in a passing thought. And like any true Eldritch god, there are little cults who worship us.

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im loving this paprika discourse

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You know that thing where you have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, and you can hear them giving you advice at crucial moments? Yeah, mine invited some friends from neighboring pantheons over, and now I have a jazz band.

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Honey Girl, Morgan Rogers | Dante and Virgil in Hell, William Adolphe Bouguereau | Wishbone, Richard Siken | Dante and Virgil in Hell, William Adolphe Bouguereau | The Smaller Evil, Stephanie Kuehn

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rip oscar wilde you would’ve loved me.

not like romantically, but platonically. we would’ve totally vibed.

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be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

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ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

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I feel like I need to tell everyone how brilliantly the Globe incorporated a deaf Gildenstern into the 2018 Hamlet and then force all of you to watch it

ok, so Gildenstern is played by a deaf actor, Nadia Nadarajah. he* signs all his lines, and either Rosencratz interprets for him, or the person he’s talking to says something that makes it obvious what he just said, depending. how each character reacts to Gildenstern is completely in-character and often hilarious

Claudius and Gertrude are intensely awkward around Gildenstern. they obviously don’t know BSL so they just gesture emphatically but aimlessly when they talk.

Hamlet, who of course is friends with R&G, *does* know BSL. he starts off by signing fluently whenever he’s talking to them but, as his distrust of them grows, he signs less and less until he’s only signing the equivalent of “fuck off” whenever he talks

Polonius just shouts really loud whenever he tries to talk to Gildenstern

it’s all brilliant and adds another layer of humor and pathos and you should all watch it

*casting at the Globe right now is gender neutral so I’m just going to use the character’s pronouns

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3.1.22 We’re in March already?? My February was a whirlwind of midterm cramming, spontaneous dinner with friends, and brief trips to museums. As enjoyable as last month was, I’m hoping to use this new month to try again to establish a weekly routine.

🎼- Can I Call You Tonight? by Dayglow

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A brave little shrimp has been told all his life shrimp can’t cook. But after hearing about Shrimp Fried Rice he goes to the surface to pursue his dream, only to discover the dark truth…

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an incomplete list of things that really happen in Moby Dick, an absolutely wild book that I have just finished after four months

Note: events are in the order that I think of them and not the order in which they occur in the book:

Ishmael goes to an inn and they say “there are no beds but if you want to share with this cannibal that’s cool.” Ishmael shares with the cannibal, whose name is Queequeg, and after establishing that he is not going to get eaten, seems to fall madly in love with him.

Quote: “How it is I know not; but there is no place like a bed for confidential disclosures between friends. Man and wife, they say, there open the very bottom of their souls to each other; and some old couples often lie and chat over old times till nearly morning. Thus, then, in our hearts’ honeymoon, lay I and Queequeg—a cosy, loving pair.”

Quote: “He pressed his forehead against mine, clasped me round the waist, and said that henceforth we were married; meaning, in his country’s phrase, that we were bosom friends; he would gladly die for me, if need should be.”

Fellas is it gay to kiss a man’s nose, cuddle in bed with him, compare yourselves to honeymooners, declare love after 24 hours, and then declare you’re married repeatedly throughout the book?

Backing up a bit, it’s apparently taken for granted the Pacific Islanders are cannibals? But Ishmael also does not seem to have a problem with this, and at some point straight up defends cannibalism (at one point going on a “we’re all cannibals because MEAT IS MURDER” tangent, which is a bit rich for a dude whose day job is killing whales.)

He regularly refers the Polynesian characters as savages, but then will occasionally remind us that he thinks all people are savages, singling out Achilles and, for some reason, German painter Albrecht Durer.

(Occasionally Queequeg will be like “wow Christians are weirdos” and Ishmael will be like “oh shit… he’s right. Why are we such weirdos.”)

At one point while they’re still on land, Ishmael becomes convinced that Queequeg has killed himself, because he’s locked himself in their room. The landlady tells someone to get a sign made that says “no suicides permitted here, and no smoking in the parlor;” because, quote, “might as well kill both birds at once.”

It turns out that Queequeg has not killed himself, he is just squatting with a statue of his god held over his head and refuses to move a muscle until sundown. This is how Herman Melville thinks Ramadan is practiced.

Sidebar: Melville seemed under the impression that Ramadan was a Polynesian thing?

Ishamel drags capitalism at every opportunity

and if there isn’t an opportunity, he makes one

“Paying for things sucks but getting paid is the best even though money is terrible and people who chase money are all going to hell”

On one of the ships they run into, one of the sailors has declared that he is the Archangel Gabriel, and basically recruited most of the crew into a cult. This is never mentioned again.

Instead, Melville gives us entire chapters on: whale heads, whale tales, why whaling is a noble calling actually, rope, etc.

At one point Ishmael flat-out says that if you don’t respect whaling he will fight you 

There is an entire chapter about the color white, in which he lists other white things he thinks are scary. They include: great white sharks, polar bears, albatrosses, the Andes mountains, and albinos.

There is also an entire chapter about whale penis. At one point, if I read that chapter correctly, a dude makes the whale penis into a suit? Or possibly climbs into it? It’s all very euphemistic at that point.

After they kill a whale, they have to do something known as “squeezing sperm.” (He’s referring to parts of the sperm whale, not actual sperm.“ Ishmael REALLY LIKES squeezing sperm, and goes on about how how sometimes, when squeezing sperm, he accidentally squeezes the hands of his fellows by accident, because they are also squeezing sperm, and Ishmael really likes that and wishes they could hold hands more.

“Would that I could keep squeezing that sperm for ever!” - Ishmael, chapter 94.

He admits that sure, maybe over-whaling could lead to fewer whales, but whales are so big and have been here such a long time that there can’t be any risk of them ever being endangered: look at Elephants! Elephants are doing fine!

The previous chapter did not age well.

There is a dude named Peleg with very strong @dril vibes who, when accused of being a little off his rocker, declares “say that again to me, and start my soul-bolts, but I’ll—I’ll—yes, I’ll swallow a live goat with all his hair and horns on.”

At one point Ishmael’s boat almost gets run over by the ship, and he’s like “is that normal???” and everyone is like “yep” and Ishmael is like “cool if anyone is looking for me I’ll be writing my will” and goes and does that. Which is hilarious because he established in the first chapter that he does not own Anything.

Ishmael is so invested in measuring whales that he tattoos’ whales dimensions onto his arm because he doesn’t have anywhere else to write it down

He’s also really offended that pirates are more famous than whalers.

Queequeg gets a fever and has the carpenter build him a coffin, but then he gets better so they turn his coffin into a buoy. This buoy is the reason Ishmael is the only one not to go down with the ship, so in a way, Queequeg did die to save him. Huh.

Captain Ahab decides that what he needs to kill Moby Dick is a Special Harpoon. He has the blacksmith make one. They are still on their wooden ship at this time and, despite over-explaining every other detail, Melville does not seem to clarify how they did this without burning the ship down.

Ahab also decides he needs to temper it in blood, and asks the harpooners if they’ll contribute some, and they’re like “yeah, whatever, man.”

(The harpooners are all POC who write off all shenanigans as Weird White People Shit, and seem to be the only ones with the braincells.)

The other character with one brain cell is Starbuck, the first mate, who really wants to go home to his wife Mary, and his son, “boy.” I am not convinced he knows his son’s name.

Ahab makes himself a nest on the mast so he can look for Moby Dick and a bird steals his hat

Some out of context quotes:

“Hark! The infernal orgies!”

“Long usage had, for this Stubb, converted the jaws of death into an easy chair.”

“Stubb knows him best of all, and Stubb always says he’s queer; says nothing but that one sufficient little word queer; he’s queer, says Stubb; he’s queer– queer, queer; and keeps dinning it into Mr. Starbuck all the time– queer– sir– queer, queer, very queer.”

“Alas! Dough-boy!”

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Mood.

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anyone who told you much ado about nothing is good and worth watching was RIGHT and you should listen to them

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You recently taught yourself morse code, but now you wish you hadn’t as the birds keep pecking at your window telling you that “it’s coming.”

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“And that, class,” concluded the professor, “is why humanity is the most peaceful, reasonable, cooperative, and overall docile species in all the universe. Any questions?” You, the only human in the classroom, raise your hand.

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Ghosts can only interact with objects that were significant to them in life. Unfortunately for the people who just killed you, your grandad’s 12-gauge Remington was very near and dear to you.