motley-crew-of-crazies

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“If it were really about your powers, he’d have said the same to nightmare. He said it to you because he thinks you’ll actually listen. You have no idea how dangerous she is. So what? If I cared about danger I assure you that my life would’ve been very different. Remedy ignore him.”

Clari comes downstairs at three am to see Lanton and Remedy yelling at each other and a table on fire. She gets out marshmallows from the cupboard and puts them on a skewer over the fire. “Care to explain what’s going on?”

"Your husband just asked me to stay away from you! Because he is afraid I will kill you!" Remedy shouts, tears glittering in her eyes.

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Clari frowns. “That’s not a fair thing to say Lanton. Look the kid is dangerous and you’re easy to hurt. By that standard I should stay away from you, but I don’t. That is not comparable at all!”

Clari comes downstairs at three am to see Lanton and Remedy yelling at each other and a table on fire. She gets out marshmallows from the cupboard and puts them on a skewer over the fire. “Care to explain what’s going on?”

"Your husband just asked me to stay away from you! Because he is afraid I will kill you!" Remedy shouts, tears glittering in her eyes.

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If you were a Pokemon, you'd be a Cutiefly!

I’d be a Flareon fuck you

[motley-crew-of-crazies]

“What happens if we get nuked?! Well I think it’ll certainly drive down the property value for starters.” Clari scowls. “But don’t worry about it too much, that’s what the bubble is for. What about people outside of the bubble? They’ll have a very bad few moments and then they’re Lucifers problem. Not really an issue.”

Clari woke up to the world in disarray, and the house in a bubble of red magic. She storms downstairs. “LANTON PYRE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” Lanton looks up from his book. “It was Remedy who did it, don’t yell at me!”

Remedy looks up from the kitchen “I DID NOTHING”

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“You know I always find that doll slightly ironic. The only person with any morality in this house and a doll of me wants to get you to commit murder.” She laughs quietly.

Clari sits in the middle of the garden pond, sipping on a smoothie. The house had almost been blown up and she was trying to resist the urge to kill Rivian and Lanton for the annoyance.

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Charlie waddles out with his Clari Doll chanting “KILL KILL KILL” He sits at the edge and whines, making grabby hands at Clari.

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what if instead of “7 minutes in heaven” theres a “7 minutes in hell” and what you do is you put 2 people in a closet for 7 mins and they have to beat the absolute shit out of each other 

[motley-crew-of-crazies]

what if instead of “7 minutes in heaven” theres a “7 minutes in hell” and what you do is you put 2 people in a closet for 7 mins and they have to beat the absolute shit out of each other 

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“Why would you do that?! Why would either of you think this was a good idea?! I was curious and Remedy wanted a break. Incidentally the politican didn’t beat your record. That’s hardly a priority! And I’m pretty sure threat of nuclear warfare counts as chaos! I only promised I wouldn’t cause it.”

Clari woke up to the world in disarray, and the house in a bubble of red magic. She storms downstairs. “LANTON PYRE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” Lanton looks up from his book. “It was Remedy who did it, don’t yell at me!”

Remedy looks up from the kitchen “I DID NOTHING”

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Clari sits down beside him on the edge of the water. “It’s been a long day for you too, huh? I have no idea how I’m supposed to explain that blowing up things is a bad idea.”

Clari sits in the middle of the garden pond, sipping on a smoothie. The house had almost been blown up and she was trying to resist the urge to kill Rivian and Lanton for the annoyance.

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Charlie waddles out with his Clari Doll chanting “KILL KILL KILL” He sits at the edge and whines, making grabby hands at Clari.

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“Answers, now! So long story short there was a teeny tiny threat of nuclear war and earth is slightly fucked, because someone traumatised a politician.” Clari twitches. “WHAT?!”

Clari woke up to the world in disarray, and the house in a bubble of red magic. She storms downstairs. “LANTON PYRE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” Lanton looks up from his book. “It was Remedy who did it, don’t yell at me!”

Remedy looks up from the kitchen “I DID NOTHING”

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She begrudgingly walks back over to the edge, standing slightly out of reach. “What’s the matter Charlie?”

Clari sits in the middle of the garden pond, sipping on a smoothie. The house had almost been blown up and she was trying to resist the urge to kill Rivian and Lanton for the annoyance.

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Charlie waddles out with his Clari Doll chanting “KILL KILL KILL” He sits at the edge and whines, making grabby hands at Clari.

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“Guess I gotta write a will.” She laughs. “So do you have any ideas for what to do to stop it?” Clari plucks Lanton’s plotting notebook from a shelf and opens it to a new page.

Clari stares at Rivian, absentmindedly taking a pen to pieces. “So, to clear this up, the world ended a lot, my husband is insane and you live here because seven not-here’s just collapsed?”

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Rivian nods. “It’s confusing I know, but I swear it’s the truth.”

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“Thank you.” Clari says, and starts taking it apart again. “So, the end is nigh, huh?”

Clari stares at Rivian, absentmindedly taking a pen to pieces. “So, to clear this up, the world ended a lot, my husband is insane and you live here because seven not-here’s just collapsed?”

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Rivian nods. “It’s confusing I know, but I swear it’s the truth.”

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The pen snaps in her hands and she sets it down on the desk. “I will agree to disagree with you.” She says carefully, trying to resist the urge to lose her temper.

Clari stares at Rivian, absentmindedly taking a pen to pieces. “So, to clear this up, the world ended a lot, my husband is insane and you live here because seven not-here’s just collapsed?”

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Rivian nods. “It’s confusing I know, but I swear it’s the truth.”

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“And I die excessively which drives Lanton insane, or sometimes he’s already insane and gets worse, so your solution is to just hope for the best here?” She reassembles the pen.

Clari stares at Rivian, absentmindedly taking a pen to pieces. “So, to clear this up, the world ended a lot, my husband is insane and you live here because seven not-here’s just collapsed?”

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Rivian nods. “It’s confusing I know, but I swear it’s the truth.”

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“And say what? ‘Hey, Lanton wants to know if there’s a timeline where things didn’t go appallingly?’ I somehow doubt I’m going to get in trouble for that.”

Due to a protective hex Clari placed on her gone wrong, Rivian is hurled two years into the past of the latest timeline. Lanton is the first person to meet her, having spent the day at home, and looks mildly confused at her presence. “You aren’t Clari.” He says, somewhat bluntly. “And you aren’t me. And yet you are in our house. Care to explain?”

Rivian blinks. “Pyre. Rivian Pyre. At your service.” She says, in her best James Bond Voice. She’s going to enjoy Lanton’s freak out.

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“That will not do.” Lanton procures a notebook from seemingly nowhere. “There has got to be at least one iteration of things that went well, and if I can’t find it to study I will damn well create it.”

Due to a protective hex Clari placed on her gone wrong, Rivian is hurled two years into the past of the latest timeline. Lanton is the first person to meet her, having spent the day at home, and looks mildly confused at her presence. “You aren’t Clari.” He says, somewhat bluntly. “And you aren’t me. And yet you are in our house. Care to explain?”

Rivian blinks. “Pyre. Rivian Pyre. At your service.” She says, in her best James Bond Voice. She’s going to enjoy Lanton’s freak out.

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