mortikacrush

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Swallowtail, by Brenna Twohy

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“In my dreams, you are gravel-faced, bloody-mouthed, you are angel-eyed. Loving you is disgusting and familiar.”

— excerpt from “Godly” by d.a.s (via backshelfpoet)

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“Somebody asked me if I was looking for something. I am looking for everything.”

— Sam Sheridan (via quotemadness)

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that Brian Eno quote about how whatever you find most repulsive about a medium (film grain, record scratches/fuzz, CDs skipping) will be the first thing you try and emulate once that medium is obsolete because it's "the sign of a moment too powerful for the medium assigned to contain it".... man.......

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7/2/23 1:56 am - Aphelion

     Ever since I was 11 or 12 years old, it has always happened the same way. For months my soul feels as if I am in a crowd of loved ones, close enough to reach out and touch, to smell, to feel the secondhand warmth emanating off of. I am comfortably snug in the center of humanity. Then at some ill-fated moment, with no warning, I blink, and when my eyes open all of the people that surrounded me are in the distance, with an immense and unfathomably deep chasm between us. They are so far away from where I stand that I have to squint just to see what they are. There is no warmth. There are no smells. No touch or sensation. Simply a gaping horror along with a vague impression of the existence of other beings more or less similar to me in shape, with no way to communicate or interact.

     The sudden realization of that immense chasm between me and humanity. That is what has turned my brain in circles ever since I can remember.

     Is the initial closeness the reality, and the chasm simply a wicked lie my mind masochistically entertains? I would love to believe that… But would the nature of evolution really create an organism which tortures itself with unnecessary and inactionable falsehoods? One that sends itself into useless negative spirals, decreasing its chances of livelihood and its capacity to thrive and reproduce? What use would that serve? From everything I have seen, the biological imperative  - the goal of life itself - is not truth. It is the propagation of more life. Our systems unconsciously edit information, change memories, ignore sensations, and will gladly misperceive reality in any number of ways if it helps us live and thrive. As such, it seems much more likely that the human organism would tell itself a helpful lie than a useless truth, and much less so a useless lie. 

     Knowing that, I feel nauseating dread creeping up from my belly. The faint smell of putrescine enters my nostrils as the possibility finally emerges: Is the closeness itself the actual lie? A precious illusion my mind holds onto for dear life — an act of love to spare my soul the torment of the horrifying reality of that chasm? Maybe these periods of despair are simply moments when my mind loses the willpower necessary to keep locked away that terrible truth lurking at the core of humankind; That every one of us are, at our cores, where it matters most, utterly alone, and always have been alone, and there is nothing in the world that can or will ever change that. That the idea that one person can even remotely fathom the soul of another is a grand illusion we maintain in order to keep ourselves alive, knowing if we were to see the truth for what it is we would descend into existential madness and drive our species extinct. That we are all adrift like stars in the universe, visible to each other, yet infinitely distant, forever wandering further apart as we continue to differentiate and increase in complexity, forming our own solar systems made up of various parts of ourselves and small remnants of others, forever haunted by the distant memory of the brief feeling of oneness we experienced before being violently expelled from the heartless womb of the universe.

     Throughout my life many of the thinkers I have respected most have spoken so highly of the superiority of truth, that we should seek it at all costs, stare at it unflinchingly. But as I’ve grown older I’ve started to be less focused on objective truths and more focused on useful truths. I think there are too many truths for the human brain to hold at once. It makes more sense to focus on the ones that help, that serve a purpose. Maybe human intimacy is a lie. But why does it matter? What can truly be done about it? Would I choose nonexistence? Would I turn myself back into dust to escape the burden of knowing? Nihilism used to feel courageous and exciting, but now it just feels cowardly and whiny. In front of humanity is a beautiful garden, and behind them is the chasm. Are the “bold ones” who turn around and stare at the pit in despair truly more noble than the ones who decide they would rather look at flowers? Or are the wisest among us instead the ones that have consciously faced towards the garden, realizing they can’t look at everything at once, and that nothing useful comes from knowing we are fucked?

     And I wish I truly could do that. Fully accept the more helpful reality. I believe I succeed for the most part, these days. 

     Yet every so often, when I embrace a loved one, my arms surround them, yet in my mind I see them far in the distance, a tiny black dot, too far away to hear, to touch, to smell, to hold. I am adrift in space. Acutely aware that, from the day I was born, the deepest part of my soul has been on its hands and knees, gnashing its teeth, weeping into the emptiness. Rending its throat raw and ragged, wailing for what it has lost.

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3/18/23 1:51 am - deluvium

Fifteen years ago I met you and before you had spoken six words I knew I would follow you to the center of the earth if you asked me to. You said that my oversized canine teeth were beautiful. You said hearing me sing was like watching a thousand stars fall to the earth at the same time. You told me my arms were so strong that I could fly if I moved them fast enough.

~

Ten years later I had forgotten your face. I had burned all of your pictures and redacted your name from every poem and every song. I was ready to die and I got most of the way there but you found me again and shook my face and stretched my skin and pulled my hair and screamed your sickeningly indomitable hope into my lungs until I finally stopped crying. You stood behind me and held my arms out to the sides and whispered something in my ear.

~

Yesterday the wind bore you aloft and swept you through my hair as I sat in the circle of flowers you planted for me, in the forest you grew with your own rotted blood. I soaked you in. I smiled at you and you smiled back and for the first time in my life I felt a true stillness in my soul.

I don’t know where I’m going, but for the first time in my life, I don’t need to.

So lead on, love.

I’m flapping as hard as I can.

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[like a song beneath the violence]

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“I have never known love to be weak. It has made gods of us.”

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we were wild and fluorescent come home to my heart

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The world article is amazing if you guys are interested in this, i’d highly suggest to read the whole thing   One of the largest solar flares in history was unleashed January 27 2012. It marked entry into full consciousness for those choosing ascension. This is the single greatest event in  history activated to raise the frequency of both Earth and humanity. This frequency increase marks the beginning of humanity’s return to an awakened state.

We have been asleep since the Fall of Atlantis. This is the time we have been waiting for! Be thankful you are alive on Earth.

Steve Rother (at ~minute 8 of this video) discusses what’s going on.  The actual CME is shown towards the end of the video. It represents the first of many CMEs to pulse this year.

There will be the naysayers who fear what is happening as these solar flares continue throughout 2012. By law of attraction that fear may be their own demise. These flares may indeed cull all who decide not to redirect their focus to their spiritual development. It has been said repeatedly that all who decide not to ascend with Mother Earth will remove themselves from the coming 5th dimensional New Earth. The solar flares mark the beginning of that time.

Everyone has the choice to ascend. No one is being left out! The opportunity is inclusive to all who choose and do the inner work.The task involved in moving to new Earth is that of re-centering consciousness from head to heart, and making a firm decision to ascend.Time for that decision is indeed short.

These solar flares are unleashing ever higher frequencies. There is no other way to look at what’s happening.  These higher frequencies affect and raise the vibrations of all that is encountered. The Earth and all consciousness located here is being lifted into higher and finer levels of frequency. This frequency increase can be uncomfortable even to those who have prepared for some time as we vibrate at ever-increasing rates into realms to which we are unaccustomed. Sometimes it takes a while for my physical being to attune to these higher vibrations. It is a bit like drinking too much coffee and experiencing an effect of anxiety or a rush in adrenaline. The impact is that of increased bliss – sometimes too much bliss – for those who are heart-chakra activated. These sensations are felt as a tingling in every cell of my physical body and energy field.

This speeded-up vibration will be uncomfortable for those not working to increase frequency. They will increasingly sicken from the impact of the incoming radiation and all the man-made pollutants in the environment. The pollutants on earth are now toxic for  3D-4D life forms. Those choosing to remain ego-based do so because it is necessary for their soul’s growth. This year will greatly aid in their lessons.

Earth School and dimensional mastery is about vibration. That is as simple as it gets. All levels of consciousness – that which we perceive as physical and tangible – is nothing more than various levels of vibration. We are consciousness which lowered itself into very slow vibration to experience a physical separation from Source. That game is up! That cycle is now coming to an end. It is now time to remember who and what we truly are.

We do this simply by raising our vibration. The easiest way (without all the details) is justBe Love! There are some who are shown how and why it all works. These individuals relate their intuitive knowing to help others who are desirous of expanding their consciousness.  I, for example, channel my higher self when in an expanded state of awareness through my ego living this life’s incarnational experience. I blend the two as  best I can.

If you desire to ascend state that to be your choice. It must be stated with heart-felt sincerity and broadcast to the universe. Once you have done so know it to be so and begin your personal spiritual work.

Turning inward is that work.  That is where the true You will be found.

All external to your heart is illusion! That illusion is created by the thought and the emotions you choose to entertain. All truth is found within you, locked within your DNA.

ALL THAT IS, IS WITHIN YOU!

The solar flares unlock DNA encoding and cause life to vibrate at a faster rate. That faster rate of vibration is raising Earth and all choosing to go with her into the higher 5th dimension. Dimensions are levels or octaves of vibration that we either exist in or attune to. The levels of life and consciousness around us which we don’t perceive vibrate at levels we are not currently attuned to. We are moving rapidly into a state where all that is now unseen becomes visible. Don’t freak out! Understand what is happening. Or simplybe love. Learn to just be!

Earth and the entire universe is ascending a step up. It does not matter what dimensional level an individual consciousness is attuned to. All levels are shifting up as the In Breath of Source begins. That time of the In Breath is now! Everyone who has sought spiritual teaching knows this time would arrive but none can describe what will happen after the actual shift. We enter a portal into individuated timelines and realities. That is because we each have our own dream to dream, our own reality to experience for our souls’ growth.

Envision your dream now! Put your emotions into it so as to manifest and align with that reality! True 5D Magic begins now.

Don’t worry about anyone else and what their dreams are. I know you love your family and friends but see what is going on. You can only dream your dream and manifest the heaven or hell you wish to create after the shift. Those you love cannot do this for you. The shift is already happening and we are not all going to the same place. And while some may indeed continue together don’t be overly attached to that possibility.

We came to Earth School from different places, timelines, dimensions and parts of the universe / multiverse to join together for this game we have played. We are teachers and gods in training. Earth School was the training ground. That time is now over. It is time to graduate to higher levels of learning, to venture into the universe and teach what we have learned.

Earth School is the toughest school in this universe. Those ascending will have attained the master’s degree! So be proud of your experiences and accomplishments!

Back To The Solar Flares

This most recent solar flare arrives on earth around February 2, 2012. This is the largest solar flare recorded to date with a CME 5 times greater than the size of the sun. This blast directed at Earth will definitely be felt in the coming days. These blasts will continue for many years and affect everything in this solar system.

These super-high vibrations originate from the Galactic Center deep within the universe and are being beamed to each solar system. These extremely high frequencies are processed and stepped down in intensity by the suns of each solar system. From there they are beamed out to each planet or moon. There is life on every planet and moon in our solar system.

We are aligning with the Galactic Center of the Milky Way which can now be seen in the night sky. The stars, dust clouds and other solar systems which formerly kept this radiation from hitting our Solar System directly are no longer doing so. This allows a clear path for the energies to flow from the Galactic Center to this solar system. So these higher spiritual vibrations are now directly impacting Earth.

These higher vibrations align directly with earth every 26,000 years and initiate the ascension timeline. There are other points as we spin around the galaxy that allow for increased vibration but none is more clear and direct in regards to higher frequencies than our current placement.

Previously we destroyed 4 worlds as we came to this time period of mass ascension. You may have heard of the demise of Maldek, the planet between Jupiter and Mars, which we  blew up before coming to Earth, and whose remnants can be seen as the shooting stars occurring August 11-13. It is my birthday each year as I watch and have memories of that time.

Mu was destroyed as we had ET wars going on above. Funny, as fused nuclear fuel pellets from over 100,000 years ago are being found in Africa in uranium mines, proving that we indeed were using the same nuclear fuels back then. The Hindu religion has many stories about this time. We sank Lemuria and then again Atlantis where we finally “fell” into the 3rd dimension, completing the divine plan of separation from Source. Now it is time to ascend back up those dimensions and that is what all of this is about!

Mission Complete! Time to go home!

To read more click the link   

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The Observable Universe : How far can you see? Everything you can see, and everything you could possibly see, right now, assuming your eyes could detect all types of radiations around you – is the observable universe. In light, the farthest we can see comes from the cosmic microwave background, a time 13.8 billion years ago when the universe was opaque like thick fog. Some neutrinos and gravitational waves that surround us come from even farther out, but humanity does not yet have the technology to detect them. The featured image illustrates the observable universe on an increasingly compact scale, with the Earth and Sun at the center surrounded by our Solar System, nearby stars, nearby galaxies, distant galaxies, filaments of early matter, and the cosmic microwave background. Cosmologists typically assume that our observable universe is just the nearby part of a greater entity known as “the universe” where the same physics applies. However, there are several lines of popular but speculative reasoning that assert that even our universe is part of a greater multiverse where either different physical constants occur, different physical laws apply, higher dimensions operate, or slightly different-by-chance versions of our standard universe exist. via NASA

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