mortallyfuriousbluebird

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

LITTLE GUY SPOTTED

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

Battle of the Captains

Bonus Poll

(a.k.a this one is for the lesbians)

No antipropaganda on my polls please

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

trying to prove a point. no nuance to this answer just say yes or no.

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

Can I show you my contender for most creature ever?

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

I am not three sleepy raccoons in a trench coat.

I am not a business of ferrets piloting a robot.

I am not a trained circus bear in a bowler hat and necktie.

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

I am completely incapable of telling how old someone is.

Part of it is how differently people age, different rates and signs of aging.

Part of it is how prevalent hair dye and other minor cosmetics are.

Part of it is me just being bad at it.

I don't know how old I look but I don't get carded anymore. So that's something.

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

I hate midwinter nose bleeds. The air is dry and cold and I won't be able to smell anything but blood for weeks.

It's currently 11°F/-12°C here and it's not going to warm up much until after the weekend. It's also 3am-ish.

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

Dad Lore

So I gave my Dad a haircut and a shave because he looked like a Civil War general, all white bushy hair and beard.

I told him he now looks like a mafia member, because he wears his hair slicked back and he's old.

He goes on to tell me that in the 90s, when he was a long haul trucker, he delivered a load of "gaming machines" to some place in New Jersey.

He said he got out of the truck to start the unloading process but they didn't want him around as they got them unloaded.

He said the guy who seemed to be in charge directed him away and had a priest come and pray with Dad. (?!?!?! Does the Mafia have Catholic priests on retainer?) I didn't understand anything except that the priest was a distraction.

Anyway, they get his truck unloaded and shit, he shakes their hands, and is on his way.

A year or two later he's delivering lumber to Long Island and meets some shady types (I'm not sure if it's the same guys from New Jersey, Dad has some trouble communicating) and for whatever reason they take him to breakfast at a diner.

I asked how he knew they were the mob and he said "they were all carrying guns and everyone else seemed nervous around them, so they were either the mob or cops, and cops don't need lumber".

In Dad's words: "I've met the mob, they're really nice guys".

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

holy shit images

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

I am neutral about things in fandom.

Taylor Swift? Completely neutral.

Ryan Reynolds? Completely neutral.

Marvel? Completely neutral.

Supernatural? Somehow... completely neutral.

I recognize the impact of the celeb, fandom, ship, etc, without having any strong feelings about it.

However, people take my neutrality as dislike when I honestly don't have any strong thoughts or opinions about it.

It's kinda weird. It's a false dichotomy of love and hate. People forget the third option of "this is a thing".

I like broccoli, I dislike asparagus, and I'm neutral on brussel sprouts.

Brussel sprouts are a thing. I'll eat them if offered but I'm not going to cook them myself.

Neutrality is not dislike. Neutrality is not like. It is its own thing.

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

One advantage of not really having a strong sense of gender identity is that you’re very [shrug emoji] about how people gender you. Sometimes people call me by she/her pronouns and sometimes they go with he/him pronouns and on the internet people often default to they/them, and neither option is entirely right but also, fuck if I know what would be right, and I don’t particularly care. Therefore I’m perfectly happy to outsource my gender identity to the people around me who actually need to figure out which box to put me in. I don’t need to talk about myself in third person, so really my pronouns sound like a you problem.

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

Some more funny library signs.

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

I think the people in my life really underestimate my dedication to not giving a fuck.

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

My current plan to recover from my mental and emotional existence is to just go so deep into being insane that I'll come out sane on the other side. Being a chronic people pleaser plagued with impostor syndrome stretched me too thin, and that leash simply snapped and I am now a completely untethered, unapologetic vermin.

Fuck having impostor syndrome, if I'm not entitled to be here they should've barred the doors better. If I'm doing everything wrong because of imaginary rules that nobody told me about, that's their problem, you should have made your confusing system more idiot-proof.

I'm not here to please everyone and do everything right. I'm here to make bad art, chew on furniture, make people laugh, cook awful food and look at pretty landscapes, and piss off the people who don't want me to exist. If I have an unseen infinite debt somewhere that I can never pay back, I'm going to keep running that tab until I die. I'm alive purely because the universe is shit at pest control.