moonlight-poison

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adult cheat sheet #2!!

this is the ~sequel~ to this post, this is just basically a list of things to help with “growing up” or whatever the hell

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

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I know what will happen, he will only talk to me online. I think he's treating me like a girlfriend or something idk. I just don't want to lose what we have. I would be heartbroken if he cut me off completely to just playing online or something.

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I don't know how I'm feeling right now. One friend seems like they are drifting away from us. Soon we won't see her too much anymore and I'm really sad about that. I'm happy for her though since it will be a position that makes more money but I thought she would still stay some what close. I mean, she didn't even say bye to us before she left yesterday. She is going through a tough time so I won't hold it against her. I think what I'm feeling is that, I hope that doesn't happen to my guy friend. We are so close and we understand each other so well. If we are in different jobs and we drift apart I will literally cry. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I feel so happy with him and I know what platonic love is and this is it. We help each other so much and make each other better. I know his wife probably doesn't like me because of what people has been saying about her husband and me. I would never EVER do anything that would put our friendship in danger. I just want to protect him from bad things and be next to him for as long as I can.

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Oh my gosh, just had a session with myself and 10/10 would do again. It was the first time I blindfolded myself and it was so much better. I stopped thinking about it and was lost in the feeling. The only thing is that I was fantasizing about a married man who works with me. I'm trying not to do anything and first and foremost, he is my friend. I will NOT betray his trust and do something but we fit together so well. That is what makes me sad.

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Seriously so fucking mad at my family right now. They don't care that my dog/my sisters dog could have gotten something lodged in their throats from the ripped up bag on the floor. "What is this?" I hold up the ripped up treat bag on the floor. "Oh I picked that up from the floor." ..... And it didn't strike you as ODD THAT ITS ON THE GROUND RIPPED UP?? So making sure my dog is ok before I go to bed. I went over trying to get food so I'm pretty much fucked on one bill. Which is great. I'm going to be so tight on food that I don't even know if I can buy my lunches for next week. And to top it all off, my father, who just got paid, might not be able to afford food for next week. This is what I get for buying things I think I deserve.

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You know what? FUCK THEM. Fuck ALL of them for making me feel like it's MY fault that they can't or want to cook for themselves. I think they are pissy because they don't have water. Guess what, not my problem. I don't drink Pepsi so why should I care? We HAVE food but they don't want to cook it so they are "starving." Fuck all of them for doing that to me. Fuck them because I DESERVE TO EAT. I know how to cook so you guys will have to learn as well.

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My family puts so much pressure financially and emotionally that it’s making me feel guilty for wanting to live by myself. I just keep getting asked if I have money for this and that and I’m like, “Sorry but didn’t I just give you $200 for food for next week?” Oh no, that’s all gone. 

Ummmmmm.....

I’m sorry ‘It’s gone?!’ “Where did it go?” ‘Oh we bought food.”

lmao No you bought candy and apples and probably pepsi. But you did NOT buy any fucking food! And she comes in and says, “Dad wanted me to ask you...” If it starts with that, its always buy us this and buy us that. I told her no I don’t have any more money. I dipped into my savings account and some of my car payment to get me better contacts. So I thought I could rely on mom to save that money for actual food. But now I feel guilty for doing something good for me. Its not the whole “treat yo self” thing its more like, “I want better contacts for my eyes and not Acuevue.” 

All together I feel really guilty for trying to make my life better in some way possible, and now its all my fault my family is “starving”. 

This whole thing makes me want to not eat any food, like its my fault I’m disappointing them so I don’t deserve any food. I feel better when I see them eat and happy, but it breaks my heart the way they treat me like I’m miss moneybags. They keep saying, “oh we will be fine without you.” 

No. Obviously you won’t be. If I wasn’t here YOU WILL STARVE. You have proved that time and time again but you still say “no we will be fine.” How in the hell do you expect me not to have a conscience when I hear you don’t have any food and you need money. 

It’s like I have to choose between helping my family not starve or being independent and starting my life and MAYBE my family won’t crumple without me. 

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Having a weird day. It started out fine but when I got here I knew I was screwed when about 5 people were just putting wires in boxes all at the same time. Here's me just like, can I get another place to sit. But it was fine later then it turned out dicey when we didn't have any work to do and we couldn't do what we needed to so just stood around for a bit. Then boss comes over and talks to my lead and it sounded like we weren't supposed to go and do our regular jobs. So I was freaking out. My hand started shaking I couldn't focus on things but when my lead said we are fine. I let out a breath but I was still very jittery. I don't drink any caffeine so this is all new. I took my anxiety Meds and I'm fine. Didn't even feel tired. Then my stomach starts to freak out a bit so I took my meds for that. I just hope that the feeling will go away soon.

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Why am I doing this?

I'm going through this person's dash and I occasionally see plus size people looking amazing and I'm making myself feel sad. Like, I'm telling myself "why can't you do that? Huh? Why can't you have something else than jeans and t shirts? Why can't you look pretty like them" I'm sorry

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Sudden depressing feelings

Everyone on tumblr I have seen is so confident in themselves (that I could see in the pics) and I'm here just so ugly. Like, one who is heavy set and they looked so beautiful and confident and I just wish I could look like that. I know I'm being hard on myself but I just can't help it.

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So fuck me. Made a mistake and the new soup is either being creepy and smiling at me or it supposed to be reassuring. I don't know either way, but it's creeping me out. Now they might add a new rule to look over at the printer to make sure it's printing. DUDE. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT I HAVE TO LOOK OVER? Fuck you if you think this is my fault. Yes, if I looked over I might have caught it but the ink ribbon was sliding off. It's not supposed to. I try to rely on ONE THING to make my job easier but nope. Fuck me, then. Fuck all this