mooniscrying

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Listening to music and thinking about situations

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so much of life is needing to pee. enough already

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⋅˚₊‧My Only Anchor Series - UPDATE‧₊˚ ⋅

hello loveys,

I am so sorry for going a bit MIA. I wrote this fanfic shortly after a breakup in hopes that my story could absorb my pain, and with all of the love and support from you all, it really did help me get through one of the most difficult times of my life.

But in times of grievance and pain, life does not discriminate. So unfortunately, I quickly became busy with life and wasn't able to be as active as I was hoping to be for my blog.

But good news! I am actually halfway through with finishing the story so I should have all of the parts posted before the end of june! <3

As always, if you're still keeping tabs on this story, thank you for your patience and support!!

with love always,

୨୧ luna

my anchor series masterlist | TAGLIST

♡ taglist: @fuckingsimp4azriel @thegoddessofnothingness @iluvyewman-blog @blackgirlmagicforever @greenapplesaucepi @navyblue-eternity @booksbypisces @dorothynin @littlefairybrooke @raccoonworld @anainkandpaper @judig92 @cpfantasybooks @clara-geekhime @cleverzonkwombatsludge @annaaaaa88 @alainabooks143 @jennigsonl @fluffyfoodie7482 @ashduv @fan-of-many-bands @smithmanna @kingshitonly @lovelife4ever @sburnheart @byyalady @historygeekqueen @sleepyreadergirl @glitterypersonaroadlamp @birdgoddessathenaraven-blog @littlemissdaydreamer96 @shadowssass @lovetia @rolovesbooks @moonlwghts @historygeekqueen @mariacbzs @nowheredreamer @batboybabe @fxckmiup @hoeforthefictional @yournansstuff @sideofthemoonn @ivy-34 @starfallbrew @moni-cah @arossebyanyothername @hellohauntedturnstudent @vanserrasimp @essiesxplace @snazzynazzy123 @donnadiddadog

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girls will say “this healed me” and it’s just pedro pascal’s massive biceps on jimmy kimmel

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Some pages from my book of pressed flowers

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“when you love someone you always see their face.”

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Oh Pedro, you beautiful man🤍

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─ ⊹ ⊱ My Only Anchor Taglist ⊰ ⊹ ─

hello loveys,

✦ ive been seeing a lot of request for a taglist for my first series ever, so feel free to interact with this post to be added!

✦ for those that specifically asked in the comments on the series post, be rest assured that you've be added!

✦ i WON'T respond if you ask to be added, i'll just automatically add you to the list-- so check frequently!

✦ i WILL respond to those that inform me of mistakes

✦ i also wasn’t expecting so much of you to like it so much, so thank you for all the love :’) <3

check to see if you're on the list!

my only anchor masterlist | masterlist

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˚₊‧꒰ა My Only Anchor Series ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

status: work in progress last updated: 6/12/25 summary: you have always loved azriel, but he has yet to ever feel the same way. you have longed for his loved achingly, watching in the shadows as he falls in love many times. you still hope one day he'll feel the same way, and yet just when you think he may reciprocate, elain takes his breath away. warnings: angst, insecurity, self-deprecation, unrequited love a/n: hello loveys! It's been YEARS since I’ve written a proper story, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. This story has been on my mind for a while, and after having broken up recently, a fire has lit up inside me to drown out all the sadness and pain I feel with writing. I hope this story heals you in some ways it does for me, enjoy lovey! <3

UPDATE!!! - 6/12/25

masterlist | TAGLIST

Part 1 - (1.1k)

Part 2 -

Part 3 -

Part 4 -

Part 5 -

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my only anchor | part 1

pairing: azriel x reader  summary: you have always loved azriel, but he has yet to ever feel the same way. you have longed for his love achingly, watching in the shadows as he falls in love many times. you still hope one day he'll feel the same way, and yet just when you think he may reciprocate, elain takes his breath away.  warnings: angst, insecurity, self-deprecation, unrequited love </3 or is it? word count: 1.1k a/n: hello loveys! It's been YEARS since I’ve written a proper story, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. This story has been on my mind for a while, and after having broken up recently, a fire has lit up inside me to drown out all the sadness and pain I feel with writing. I hope this story heals you in some ways it does for me, enjoy lovey! <3

my only anchor masterlist | masterlist | TAGLIST

You couldn’t remember a time where you weren’t hopelessly in love with the shadowsinger. All of the small moments as kids where he took notice of you— the shy and quiet little girl moping in the corner, hoping to blend in with the background to avoid the prying eyes of everyone. Any speck of attention was not your forte, it always made you uncomfortable, made your heart race and palms sweat. 

And despite all this, he saw you. From the way your fingers tapped mindlessly against your legs as you watch with keen observant eyes of those around you, to the way you crinkled your noise a tiny bit when you were upset, to the way your eyes shone brighter than the stars when you shared your little stories to him. It was relentless and endearing how he took notice of every single little thing about you. 

He was your anchor, a stable force within you. He had a way of pulling you out of your comfort zone, helping you gain the confidence you needed to be comfortable in your own skin. Encouraging you to engage in social settings, even if it was just to listen, to simply be present, “I’d rather have you next to me, listening along with me to the chatter of all of these people,” he once told you. 

When in truth, you were also his anchor. You were the very light in his life that pulled him from the dark, guiding and comforting him. You saw past his brooding stern demeanor, making him smile and laugh more times than he can count. 

You embraced his shadows, his darkness, welcoming them with open arms, letting it consume and comfort you. Most of all, you had a way of reading him without him needing to say or do anything. You never pushed nor forced, you’d simply lay your head on his shoulders as you clasped his hand into yours, “It’s okay Azzy, I'm still here, I'm not going anywhere.” 

Thick as thieves, you were both inseparable. Gravitating to one another unconsciously, like souls meant to be intertwined. You were so deeply in love with him, and you were certain he felt just the same. 

You couldn’t be more wrong in your entire life. The moment she came into the family was the moment you became completely invisible, cut off from the one person you could rely on.

You’ve watched from the sidelines for centuries as Azriel bounced from one woman to the other, especially as he chased the love and longing he had for Gwyn and Mor. And yet despite how much it hurt you, he still made sure that you were a priority in his life. Never forgotten like you are now.

But could you blame him?

Elaine was gentle, soft spoken, and kind. Much like you, and yet she was everything you only wished you could be. She was graceful, she was bright, and she was endearing. People gravitated to her without her even having to say anything. She was noticed instantly, igniting the primal instinct of those around her to protect her, to include her, and to keep her safe.

And you could do nothing but go back into the darkness of your own shadows, lingering in the corner and watching as Azriel slipped through your fingers. And the worst part of it all? 

He didn’t even notice. 

It was dinner time with the whole family as usual. You sat to the right of Azriel, with Elain to his left. It was a habit for you both to fill each other’s plates with all your favorite foods. It was natural for you both, something that everyone liked to tease you both about, and yet you and Azriel thought nothing of it. Just waved it off with a smile because in truth, it just felt right to you both. 

You began filling his plate with all of the good hearty stuff he liked to indulge in once in a while. You grabbed a few slices of roast beef, 2 baked bread rolls, a generous heaping amount of potatoes, and a few pieces of broccoli and carrots.

It was only after you finished plating his food that you realized your plate was empty. You were so happily engrossed with plating his food that you failed to realize that all the movements Azriel has been making to grab food weren’t to fill your plate, but to fill hers. A pile high of food completely different from your taste buds. 

You felt the beginning of your tears in your eyes, and yet you held them back as much as you could. Everyone around you was happily talking and eating, completely oblivious to the way your heart was being torn apart. You wanted to get up and leave the room, to do nothing but cry for the rest of the night. But you didn’t want to cause a scene, you didn’t want to burden anyone with your own pain— they all deserved a good time with a good meal at the end of the night.

Coming back from your thoughts, you fought the urge to look to your left. You fought with all your heart, to ignore the whispers and giggles from them both. You especially tried to ignore the way Azriel ate happily at his food, never once wondering how his plate was already so full. That night, all you could eat was a slice of strawberry cake, going unnoticed by everyone, by Azriel, of just how little you ate. 

Despite how completely invisible you felt, it couldn’t stop you from caring and loving him from the shadows. It didn’t stop you from filling his plate every dinner time. And it most certainly didn’t stop you from doing what you’ve always done.

You refilled his secret snack cabinet in the kitchen when it was going empty, you replaced his gloves and clothes when you noticed it starting to wear out during training, and you made sure a cup of warm tea was always placed in his night stand— knowing how it helped him sleep easier. 

You were so in tuned with making sure you never stopped loving him in ways you’ve always had that you failed to realize that it was no longer being reciprocated. Your bones were starting to ache, your stomach was feeling emptier than usual, the headaches were becoming a frequent visitor, your skin becoming pale from the lack of sleep, and you were slowly drifting away from not only Azriel, but your family too.

The only solace you realized was at night, where you could cry out your heart with the moon looking down on you. You let out a sob, recalling just how loved you used to be by Azriel. How he kept you strong and how he looked out for you just as much. And yet you were so easy to forget, so easy to be tossed aside, as if you were nothing to him. With one final cry, you’ve accepted the one fact you’ve been avoiding— you lost the only anchor you had in your life.

my only anchor masterlist | masterlist | TAGLIST

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. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ A Court of Thorns and Roses ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Azriel

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If I'm not supposed to have crushes on middle aged men then why are they so hot? Explain that political party of your choosing

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I know two men who are currently single. One is 26, and the other is 38.

I’ve spoken with both of them at length about what they want in a woman, seeing as they’re cishet and white.

They both immediately went for physical attributes. Thin, but needs to have a nice butt. Boobs can’t be too big. One likes short hair, the other likes long hair. They also went into facial features for some reason. That was the part that made me really uncomfortable as I hadn’t expected either of them to have been that focused on appearances.

Aesthetics came next. Both want ‘alt goth / witchy’ women. It should be worth noting both of these men said their potential partner can’t wear too much makeup.

Lastly came personality and interests. They both said this is the most important thing to them, but they also ‘have to be pretty’. Oh, and they need to listen.

I have some single ladies I’ve also spoken with.

It’s the opposite. They rarely care about looks. It’s about chemistry, emotional connection, feeling safe, and sharing common goals / ideals.

While I know it’s not ‘all men’ it sure as fuck is a lot of you. Also both of these men think they’re part of the ‘good cishet white liberal men’ who voted for Kamala, despite one of them not voting at all.

He’s the 38 year old. To make things worse, he’s trying to date a 24 year old. 🤷‍♀️ His criteria for a potential partner was also under the age of 30 because it means less baggage and they’re still ‘fun to be around’.

You don’t want to know what he doesn’t bring to the table. Either of them, rather. 😅

We do have a male loneliness epidemic, but it’s not women’s fault. We don’t owe you anything. We’re not vending machines you put tokens into and get sex out of. Male culture made by men and perpetuated by men has made men this way. And it’s your job as men to fix it, not point the finger at us and say it’s our fault for not wanting to be with you. Some of us like myself want to actually HELP you, but you guys rarely want to listen. You instead want to complain to us about our gender and how unfair we’re being by not giving you a chance.

We don’t owe you anything.

On January 20th, 2025 and forward, they’re going to try to take our rights. They may succeed.

Men have to take from us because they’ve gaslit themselves into seeing us as the enemy, despite having driven us away by their own actions centered around self interest.

“It’s not all men. But it sure is a lot of you.”

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I want to lie down on my bed and have a sleepy boy flop down on me, burying their face in my chest as I ask them softly, "Do you want affection, love?" Having them nod as I smile softly, gently lifting their face and littering it with soft kisses. Kissing every one of my favorite features and looking down at them as they smile tiredly at me. "You should sleep now, baby." I kiss their forehead and let them rest their head on my chest again as I hum softly. Rubbing their back in soothing circles while I watch them sleep.

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no one tells you how much of life takes practice. not just writing, painting, running, singing, etc, but practicing how to make friends. how to make the right ones. getting practiced at how to be a good friend, a good sibling, a good person. practice identifying when people haven’t earned that. learning to recognize your right to rage and, eventually, how to offer mercy. so much of life is muscle memory, and i’ve begun to realize there are so many more parts of ourselves to flex and stretch and strengthen than those we’re taught in anatomy lessons

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I have so much potential… i can’t give up on myself.

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the things i would for peepaw joel