monsterminyard

[monsterminyard]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[monsterminyard]

Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.

[monsterminyard]

Someone at an old job asked why I wanted to write up the meeting minutes for our team and I said 'i wanna control the narrative' and they were like 'what' and I pointed out that no one was gonna remember what we said in six months and so my interpretation of the meeting would dictate the assumed reality of what happened

"none of you ever send corrections when I offer the draft so y'all have consented to my version"

"we don't read that shit"

"you must trust me implicitly to create our shared reality that's so sweet"

That's how several coworkers decided I was a supervillain and how I learned several coworkers didn't understand record keeping as like a CONCEPT

[monsterminyard]

You ever think about how we call toddlers that because they can't walk right. They toddle about. Fuckin idiots. Fuckin idiot steppers can't walk properly. Call 'em wobblers. This is my son Jeffrey he's at the age where I mock him for walking like a fucking scrub. "Skill issue" ass name.

[monsterminyard]

me in the. me in. the. uhm.

[monsterminyard]

have the last five years been just a complete blur for anybody else

[monsterminyard]

[monsterminyard]

[monsterminyard]

my dumbass trait is I am 100% okay with admitting that I have experienced traumatic things I don’t care at all but I draw the line at admitting I got traumatized from it. everything wrong with me is unrelated.

[monsterminyard]

u heard him ladies

[monsterminyard]

mutuals we’re not pretentious we’re just always right. not our fault

[monsterminyard]

you ever be watching The Godfather and you’re like WOW that kitty is so happy and such a good actor i wonder if it was someone’s cat on set or what…

sobbing. shitting. puking

[monsterminyard]

Best mate

[monsterminyard]

can we talk abt how insane reading a horny thought in tsc was after reading neil’s pov for so long?? like the shift from neil’s ace ass to jean’s bisexual crisis is so funny to me

[monsterminyard]

mornings in Colombia

[monsterminyard]

When allison gets neil online, she starts sending him those posts that are like "just when you think you've hit rock bottom you wanna fuck a blonde guy" as a joke but neil doesn't think they're funny cause there's nothing wrong with loving andrew. He DOES however immediately forward them to katelyn

[monsterminyard]

working on a bigger drawing but for now swedish fish be upon ye