monkeydoespride

[monkeydoespride]

Absolute fucking art

Fuck you, City of Ur!

If you're dumb enough to buy a cartload of copper this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Ea-Nasir's Imported Metals!

Bad deals! Low grade copper! Thieves!

If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Ea-Nasir's, you can kiss my ass!

It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker you'll fall for this bullshit! Guaranteed!

If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ass!

Bring your deposit, bring your sealed tablet, bring your messenger! We'll send him back!

That's right, we'll send your messenger back through enemy territory!Because at Ea-Nasir's, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!

Take a hike to Ea-Nasir's, home of challenge pissing! That's right, challenge pissing!

How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment!

Don't wait, don't delay, don't fuck with us, or we'll turn you into a eunuch!

Only at Ea-Nasir's, the only merchant that tells you to fuck off!

Hurry up, asshole! This event ends the minute after you make a donation to the palace, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Go to hell! Ea-Nasir's Metals: Sumer's filthiest, and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in Mesopotamia! Guaranteed!

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"the magnus archives sounds cool! what are the content warnings?"

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Food for thought

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For no reason here is a library story

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Same thing for this one, I know its a reddit link, but it's just to the genshin lore subreddit. That place is chill

Title: The Ruins of Mingyun Village Part 1 This is the first part of the project I am currently working on. Do hope people enjoy.

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Maybe this will get some more traction this time around.

History of Fontainian Architecture

So I finally got around to finishing the project I talked about all the way in October. Hello! I do in fact still live. While not super hard, college has definitely not left me with much time to do projects such as the ones I did before.

Today we will be taking a look at the styles of architecture that can be found throughout Fontaine. These styles can be broken down into roughly three different eras. Unified and what I have dubbed Old and New Fontainian respectively. The latter two styles, while not very different overall, have enough differences to at least make a short analysis. So analyze we shall!

Unified Era:

As these analyses so often do, we must begin with the Unified Civilization. Unlike other nations, its presence is extremely rare. Occurring in only one* location within the entirety of Fontaine. Likely surviving only through its high altitude location, this small unnamed alcove will do nicely when it comes to showing the architectural features of this ancient precursor. 

*I’m not counting the space inside the book of revealing

Stonework:

The first and most obvious sign that the ruins you are looking at are from the Unified Civilization is if they have these curved carvings on them. These carvings are found on almost every single stone surface created by this civilization. Whether you're looking at the floor, ceiling, or walls, these carvings will be present. It should be noted that there is one exception, that being on interior walls, which have their own unique carvings. (For the best view of these carvings either head I’d suggest either the inside of the ruins pictured above or the library in the Enkanomiyan Narrows).

Gilding:

The use of gilding is universal within all architectural styles present in Fontaine. Going so far as being the only way to tell some styles apart. Although less needed in the case of the Unified Civilization, having more than one identifying feature is always important.

As seen in the photo, gilding exists in two main forms within Unified architecture. On the right we have a pattern that consists of two straight gold lines running parallel to each between which sits an interwoven, vine-like pattern. This pattern typically runs along the edges of structures to highlight their borders.

On the left is the other kind of gilding. This pattern exists in the form of three square gold lines going one way, followed by three going the other way. With the lines that separate each line done in such a way so that it appears as if each group of three is overlapping the previous. Above this main section is then another spot of gilding consisting of two overlapping lines forming an X shape atop another gilded line that runs in line with the carved stone patterns on either side of this top pattern. This type of gilding is only used within the specific wall pattern 

shown in the picture.

Old Fontainian Era:

Although not next in the timeline, the Old Fontainian era will be the next one of focus as, to the best of my knowledge, no Remurian architecture still exists as of now. This style is by and a way the most widespread of the three, with virtually every ruin being in said style.

Stonework:

Although the difference between the stone found in Unified ruins and Old Fontainian is pretty obvious, it's never been my style to gloss over anything.

The biggest and most obvious difference between Unified and Old Fontainian style architecture is in the stone and stonework. The stone used in Old Fontainian structures is of a much lighter coloration, appearing as a sort of egg shell white. Quite different compared to Unified’s darker, more natural looking stone. This color difference likely means that the stone used is of a different variety to what was used in Unified structures. However this cannot be confirmed as there are no natural occurrences of stone in this color present within the game world. Finally, there is a slight difference in how the brickwork sections have been created. In Unified structures the bricks are always placed directly on top of one another to form symmetrical columns. This in turn means that all the bricks in a specific section are the exact same size. However in Old Fontainian structures, bricks are assembled asymmetrically atop each other. As a result there are no straight columns and brick size varies wildly across a single section. This change tells us that Old Fontaine was likely very prosperous as this lack of symmetry could be afforded in all structures across the entire region.

Gilding:

While gilding exists in all three forms of Fontainian architecture, it does this in three distinct forms, making it the easiest way to tell the styles apart.

The most common gilding style seen in Old Fontainian is shown in the picture above. The pattern itself consists of two half circles with etched layers. One on the top and one on the bottom. These half circles are connected via a column with some very light decoration consisting of two raised lines. This kind of gilding is the best and easiest way to recognize Old Fontainian structures.

The second distinct style of gilding found upon Old Fontainian architecture consists of a stylized seashell set at the very top of archways. The seashell itself is composed of three inverted isosceles triangles positioned atop one equilateral triangle. This kind of gilding is less useful for identifying Old Fontainian structures than the half circle columns due to its location on the top of arches. This means that they have, with a few exceptions, survived exclusively within underwater ruins. However, that does not detract from the fact that they are distinctive and unique to the Old Fontainian style.

New Fontainian Era:

To finish us off we have the New Fontainian Era. This style of architecture is found almost exclusively in currently inhabited structures. The only outliers are some collapsed walls and aquabus line sections. Its stonework also has the feature that made me want to make this entire thing in the first place.

Stonework:

Differences between the stonework of New and Old Fontainian architecture are basically non-existent. They are of the same color of stone and are both very asymmetrical in construction. But there is a single and very important difference. The presence of curved stone carvings upon the stone. These carvings, although much more shallow, are exactly the same as those found upon Unified structures. Now the assumptions and crackpot theories that could be made about this could go in any number of directions that I won’t follow because that’s not what this analysis is about. But it is still something worth thinking about and a point I am very surprised to have not seen anyone talking about as it was one of the first things I noticed about Fontaine.

Gilding:

Gilding is extremely prevalent in New Fontainian Architecture, enough so that I could probably have written more words about it alone than those found in this analysis. But this is about identifying and comparing architectural styles, so we will stick to a common and easily identifiable instance.

The most recognizable style of gliding within New Fontainian Architecture is, as best as I can tell, an artistic rendition of what someone riding the Aquabus would first see upon entering the Court of Fontaine. I’m calling it an artistic rendition because while the view is very similar, it is not exactly the same. 

If we compare the image present in the gilding with the image above we can see at least two major differences. Firstly, while the four wavy lines present in the bottom half of the gilding certainly look like the walkways/arches visible in the picture of the actual Court, they by no means match. Secondly, while the real court's skyline does have three towers in the background, only the central one stands at the top of the skyline, unlike the gilding where all three are the same height. I would like to point out that while this may well have always been an artistic rendition as stated above, it is possible that the image shown upon the gilding is representative of an older Court of Fontaine. And that the entranceways style has since changed since the gilding was originally made.

As a final note, this gilding style is also special in that it is the only one out of all the ones I’ve mentioned to also be found carved into stone.

Conclusion:

And that’s that. This project was originally started in October 2023 when I had a lull in college stuff. I got most of it done too, but then put off completing literally just that final gilding section until like yesterday. But yeah I made it through my first semester of college. You're free to suggest ideas in the comments but do so with the knowledge that should I agree to do them, they might not appear as a finished project for months because school of course comes first.

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I am not beating 3 people all of which can use magic

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David Lynch feelings

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one of the things about the US that IS better than europe

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Absolutely go fuck yourself op

spin the wheel for a genre!

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I honestly don't know if I'm 100% fucked or completely fine.

Surprise! Tumblr just got turned into an epic fantasy RPG, just like [your favorite appropriate media franchise]. And the Tumblr RPG's plot needs to have all of its characters covered, in roles both large and small.

That means that you are assigned to a stereotypical RPG role inside our new fantasy world. Spin this wheel to find out what you are now doing for a living.

[monkeydoespride]

Apparently when my grandma first came to America she didn’t know what a raccoon was and assumed it was a fucked up cat and adopted it. I just imagine this 13 yr old girl with a heavy Eastern European accent being like “this is my cat, Petr. He is not very friendly”

[monkeydoespride]

just saw the perforated baton rope making demonstration video for the first time and i 😲

[monkeydoespride]

oDoPd

F

[monkeydoespride]

Are we talking like beating the tutorial or creating the sun in terms of what broke you?

I am a connoisseur of bullshit games but Noita defeated me. This game is just a whole other level of madness.

I have a good grasp on RimWorld, Fear and Hunger, Rain World, Lobotomy Corpiration, Oxygen Not Included and Darkest Dungeon but the wizard game broke my psyche

Finnish suicide witch game gets the title of a truly chaotic evil game

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MORE PEOPLE TO FOLLOW HOORAY! Also, while i do not post much about it right now. As I advance through my college education there will probably be more and more ARC related things on this blog.

Calling all archaeoblurs!

If you're an archaeologist* and have a Tumblr, reblog this or sound off in the comments! I figured it's high time we put together a directory of sorts.

*for our purposes, archaeologist can mean someone who has or is working on a degree in archaeology, you don't necessarily have to be currently practicing. If you have a blog that is specifically archaeology focused, include that and what your specialty is!