monalisa-writes-now-3006

[monalisa-writes-now-3006]

28th of September’21

02:01

Home

Hi! I know some of you will be thinking that I have gone mad or something, but I am going to write what my heart feels right.

Now that you all know that I live in a country away from home, alone and independent. Living my dreams in the most desirable and luxurious way I could have ever imagined of. I have made really good friends, family as well as my colleagues are total fun to work with. I am doing everything by myself here which I could never imagine that I could do at this age. Some of you know me very well and some, know nothing about me.

I hope everyone agrees with the fact, that life in a foreign land is lonely. And, if you don’t have a companion (pet/partner/parents/child), it becomes really tedious and arduous to concentrate at what you’re doing. You lose your track of life.

I know this as well, some of you are so judgemental that you might be thinking how can a person be so desperate to get to this point at this tender age.

Well, I am 24, I admit that but I do need a company by my side, all the time (physically, mentally, socially or spiritually). I am also a human being and those who know me very well know it that I am a very straightforward kind of a person and not at all shy or hesitant to raise my concern. Now, let’s get to the point.

Admittedly, adulting is difficult and every person has their own story. The question is, who is there to listen to those stories? Yes, like every other ordinary person, I am also looking for someone who has time to listen to my stories, who will work hard at his job but will make me as his priority, who will respect my boundaries (as I would do the same), who is dedicated to his personal growth and will support mine. A little too much to digest but these are the basic things required in every relationship. Understanding and living the life to the most is what we all need. Why not make it beautiful with love, together?

Well, I have got loads of stories to share and I believe you too.

I am pretty sure, some of you will be recommending me to create a profile in some valid matrimonial site or in a random dating app. Trust me, have tried it, didn’t work.

So, what I mean to say is that, the person who is reading this and is interested to build up an emotional bridge of love, care, understanding and mutual respect for each other, please do let me know so that we can move forward with this and can get to know each other. There is no rush. It is just a part of me expressing herself to you. Matches might be made in heaven but right now from what I can see is that people are just making babies and are called as covid babies and people are dying as they’ve done there part in the role play called life.

Also, there is a time when you get misled by life and a sudden appearance or would say entrance of a person into your life makes you believe that ‘no! This is it’ but trust me, the more you grow, the more you know. People who are not meant to be together, can never be together. I don’t ever want to be rude to anyone but there are certain things that need to be clearly said. The pain will always be there. But if you are content with yourself, everything else will fall into place. All I do is, I try to find contentment. Within myself.

I reckon there’s no harm in stepping forward and opening your book on the table. I have done my part, waiting for you to do so.

Hope all of us find a true mate in the search of commitment! Cheers. ❤️🍃

[monalisa-writes-now-3006]

27th of September ‘21

11:55

Home

Some days when you wake up, you feel like dreadful unlike the other days when you’re full of energy and avid. It was raining when I opened my eyes to this day, peeped outside my window and figured the fall season has arrived. It was cold, perished and despairing. Somehow, I lifted my mood up and did what I had to do. Later, it seemed my health was also disappointed to go with the day. Called family, felt that the void was still there. Asked Alexa to play songs which might cheer me up, it did. To some extent. As Oscar Wilde quoted, “And all at once, summer collapsed into fall”, which is so true and meaningful. We have to consider ourselves as the fallen autumn leaf which look up to the sky and smiles to be thankful for the life it was gifted. There can be reasons to smile and at times, you smile without reasons. This is a phase, this is life, starting all over again when it gets crisp in the fall. 🍂

Love,

Monalisa.

[monalisa-writes-now-3006]

14th of September 2021,

18:53

Luton and Dunstable NHS

I just came for work from my new house and guess what? It took only 10 mins walk from there. I loved the walk but the climate here is changing. It seems like the summer is gone. I am currently sitting in our day room along with my other two colleagues for the safety brief handover. I am so hopeful for tonight that it should go all well tonight *touchwood*, seriously I am in no mood to treat critical patients or end of life patients, I want HEALTHY patients. Let’s just hope that I get no more challenges tonight. My mental state is quite weak right now in order to deal with that. I spoke with my manager this afternoon regarding my annual leave so that I can go to India this November. She seemed worried as one of our colleagues who went there has been stuck there and is struggling to get flights back to the UK. I am so much fed up with the whole covid scenario. All I am doing day and night is pray! Pray to God for healing the world and not make it a misery anymore. I want to see my family, so badly. I want the warm cuddle from my mom, dad’s funny jokes, brother’s unnecessary gyans. I want to see my Poshto and cuddle him every single moment. Yes, I am homesick and anxious and what not.

15th of September,

00:14

L&D

I just came for my break, have been allocated to siderooms tonight including one covid patient. Although, his vitals seem fine because of the vaccine. I got to know a lot of facts tonight while working. Some useful, some unnecessary. At this point of time, I am only concerned about my dedication towards my work. I love looking after my patients and their well-being. Nothing else bothers me if my patients are fine. No politics, no diplomacy, no partiality.

I just come to work, I work my at my level best and I go home. That’s the only thing I do.

Also, today is my sister in law’s birthday, my heart feels so heavy for not being present there back home. Dada sent me the pictures and videos of her cake-cutting and my eyes dropped tears while seeing her feeding a piece of cake to my picture as she couldn’t even call me since I am at work. Back home, there will be so much fun today, they will eat good food, celebrate and what not! I feel I’m just missing every important occasions of my life. I wish I was there or my whole family was here.

There are disappointments as well as helplessnesses. Can’t wait to see my family.

Yours truly,

Monalisa.

[monalisa-writes-now-3006]

14th of September 2021, New beginnings, yet again.

The day I moved into my new house. This is the third time I have changed my place of living in the UK. Pretty much hectic was the journey but it had a mixture of good as well as bad memories. So much of unpacking, arranging and dismantling needs to be done. I met my new housemates and they seemed to be really nice people! Hope this journey goes all well with God’s grace. The biggest thing which has happened today was telling my family, who are in India presently, about my depression. It was a conversation that lasted for hours as discussion and hence, I started writing about whatever is going in my life as suggested by my very own brother. He says it will divert my mind and this way I will be able to control my mind and not let my mind control me.

Yes, I have been recently diagnosed with depression even after living the best life I have designed with all my dreams coming true.

Tomorrow I start my shift, night shift it is, hopefully it goes well enough. This is too late at night that I’m writing all these, feeling terribly low, lonely and withdrawn.

All I can do is have patience, progress more in my career and let time heal everything.

Yours Truly.

Monalisa