molasseslord

[molasseslord]

[molasseslord]

Since it seems that almost nobody I know has actually read the concerning hobbits bit of the lord of the rings prologue here’s some lore about hobbit politics™

Hobbits are mainly ruled by clan law. What family you’re officially apart of is very important and pretty much everyone has everyone else’s family histories memorized

Hobbits like reading very boring books full of information they already know about their own family lines

There’s hobbit wealth inequality. Rich hobbits live in holes because they can afford to make very big ones that fill up entire hills and it’s a way of showing off. Poor hobbits live in holes because they can’t afford houses so they just start digging into a hill. Middle class hobbits live in built structures made of wood.

A very long time ago there used to be a king in the area that gave the region of the shire to the hobbits if they promised to maintain the roads and bridges of the region

That king and kingdom hasn’t existed for over a thousand years but the hobbits still act like he’s around and follow his laws

They know he’s not there. They just act like he still is.

The hobbits claim they sent a bunch of archers to help in a war a long time ago but nobody else has this in their records of that war

Hobbits’ main methods of killing things usually involves either archery or throwing stones at things. Apparently they’re really really good at killing things by throwing rocks at them.

Bree hobbits live side by side with men and have lived there for a very long time

Bree hobbits call shire hobbits “colonizers”

They’ve got a leader called a thane but he’s only relevant during times of crisis to convene a moot of clan leaders but hobbits don’t generally have times of crisis so he’s mostly a figurehead

The thane is almost always from the Took family

There’s a mayor of the shire that’s elected. He mostly plans events and appoints the sheriff

There’s twelve police officers in the entirely of the shire that mostly act as animal control

The book makes a point of letting you know that the police officers don’t have uniforms but they do put little feathers in their hats

[molasseslord]

Josha posted on his Insta

[molasseslord]

gideon the ninth is so good but i just can’t seem to find the first 8 books anywhere

[molasseslord]

"The arms kind of looked like swords. I want to fight it." - The words of a genius 💀⚔️

[molasseslord]

Hey tumblr. Are you into femdom stuff, homoeroticism, and/or polyamory? Good news, so was my good friend Robert Jordan.

Wheel of Time Season Three streaming March 14.

[molasseslord]

help me settle a roommate dispute

please put your reasoning in reblogs or tags if you feel so inclined. I have Opinions but I will wait to share them until the poll is over.

[molasseslord]

SEASON THREE IS IMMINENT

[molasseslord]

NEVER LET YOUR HUSBAND STOP YOU FROM FINDING YOUR WIFE

[molasseslord]

Anyway, more verified reporting on Neil Gaiman is out and it's real bad, folks, it just is. I'm not going to link it here, but there are plenty of free links floating around.

I cannot stress this enough, if the topic of sexual assault and graphic details are going to be severely distressing for you, please do not read it. That is not something you have to do to yourself. You do not have to do penance for finding his work meaningful, previously praised it, or enjoyed interacting with him on Tumblr. This is not on you. No one needs that from you, no matter how it may feel.

If this is personally devastating, you can (and should!) take some time to process it. You don't owe the internet a hot take or force yourself to feel the right emotion. Just take a break until you find the right headspace to be in. Please take care of yourselves.

[molasseslord]

POLYSHIP WEEK 2024

→ Day 7: free day → toxic hero/villain/villain polyeroticism Rand al’Thor, Lanfear, & Ishamael (THE WHEEL OF TIME) Galadriel, Sauron, & Adar (RINGS OF POWER)

[molasseslord]

Departure of the Pufferfish 🐡

Moiraine: Why are you crying, love?

Siuan: Don’t be silly, pufferfish. I’m not crying. See… I‘m smiling.

[Siuan sniffs, wiping her face roughly with the back of her hand before pulling Moiraine’s hood up over her head, fussing like it’s the most important task in the world.]

Siuan: I just… hate the thought of you gone. But you’ll be fine - we’ll be fine. It’s just two weeks, right? Nothing to fret over. And when you come back, I’ll bake you those honeycakes you like so much.

Moiraine (tearing up herself): Two weeks.

Siuan: Two weeks.

[Two years later. Siuan is seated at the table in their hut, leaning back in a chair. Her thumb runs absently over a little carving of a pufferfish. In her other hand is a worn letter, the paper creased from too many readings.]

Siuan: Two years, Moiraine. Even honeycakes don’t keep that long.

(On a different note, I gave cartoon style another shot and blame @cozcat and @chocaholicmouse4834 for this drawing)

[molasseslord]

Day 2: Family

When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.

[molasseslord]

Day 4: House Stark

Arya, the lone wolf, still lived, but the wolves of the pack had been taken and slain and skinned.

[molasseslord]

How ppl in the Locked Tomb think about their love situation with Harrow.

Ianthe: Oooooh, I am stuck in a love triangle, but I'm pretty sure I can beat Gonad easily, and Harrow will be mine.

Gideon: News flash bitch! Harrow doesn't love either of us. She's in love with a frozen corpse.

Harrow: My beloved Gideon is dead, just like the lovely lady in the Locked Tomb. Also my coworker is acting very weird for some reason.

[molasseslord]

i love how as you read more into tlt, the ninth house seems more and more normal. Like if i'm at an immoral evil government competition, and i use human fat as soap and animate skeletons to do menial labor, i'm gonna LOSE if my competition is the third house, represented by ianthe "who HASN'T eaten human flesh and fucked a corpse" tridentarius. My weird skeleton thing seems normal, suddenly. Well-adjusted, even. It's recycling. They're using resources in a sustainable way. Normal and regular and productive for a post-climate change apocalypse universe.

People go on and on about how Muir drops you into gtn hearing from the person who knows the least about whats happening, and does not hand hold the reader through the crazy shit that occurs, and that's all true. It truly is a crazy writing decision to make your first pov character come from the universe's equivalent of amish fundamentalists. But the reader is actually done a huge favor being dropped into the ninth house first, because we already understand that space is cold and what catholic nuns are, and what goths look like, and what lesbians are. Very little time is wasted in the first chunk of gtn ripping hair out of your head wondering what the fuck is going on, because for all of its strangeness, the ninth house is already the most familiar thing we're gonna get.

Because THEN we learn that this whole universe's medieval chivalry system is designed to groom people from CHILDREN to not only be exploited and used as human batteries for necromancers, but to LIKE it. to wax poetic about it. to confuse it for love, to write fucking academic papers about it! Then we learn about planet flipping, an act so horrific and violent it turns the planet's soul into a massive vengeful monster capable of killing GOD. Like what do you MEAN the animals "change"? Is this why noodle has six legs? I would MUCH prefer to wear skeleton makeup and repent forever if the alternative was to witness my family dog grow TWO EXTRA LIMBS because the planet he lived on fucking died. Suddenly, living in the asscrack of a planet where no light gets in seems like a sweet deal when the whole solar system is lit by a sun that MAKES YOU GO CRAZY. The ninth house's WORST sin, killing 200 babies to make Harrow, a waste of resources and an act so terrible it haunts Harrow for the entire span of her life, is like a BLIP compared to the death count Jod's empire. God even hears about it and he's like, no big deal! The cohort probably kills that amount of people in a DAY.

And its ALSO tragic because you realize that all of this trauma and abuse that Gideon goes through is not really because of the ninth house at all. It's really just an individual skill issue that she wasn't treated with compassion. Nobody hated her because she's jesus or a bomb, nobody even KNOWS she's a bomb. It's just Priamhark and Pelleamena being deeply guilty and scared people that motivates her treatment, and absolutely nothing else.

They did something bad, and they know it, and Gideon survived it, and they can't kill her to cover it up, and that's IT. They killed themselves for pride, because they were afraid of the consequences of their actions (both the baby killing and Harrow opening the tomb) coming back to bite them. You can argue this is the catholicism of it all, and I wouldn't say you're wrong, but compared to the cavalier system, where exploitation is in the very lining of the house's institutions, the ninth house is really removed from the space empire's blood factory. This is compared to the fourth house where they have tons of children to be CANNON FODDER to join the cohort at fucking 14, compared to the eight house uncle nephew fuckery, even the fifth house which actually does seems nice to live on but also seems to have the fourth house in some sort of fucked up political bear hug??? (maybe the fourth house has so many kids in order to fight the fifth's battles? which is EXACTLY what jod's whole empire is about; politely stirring your tea and acting nice while you destroy everything) compared to ALL OF THAT, the cruelty that Gideon faces is really more a bug of the ninth's system than a feature.

There's nothing baked into the culture and everyday life of the ninth house that necessitated that cruelty; in fact, for such a pragmatic and resource-scarce place, it's WEIRD that a strong able-bodied young person was treated like a waste of space and resources. It could just have easily not happened, if Harrow's parents had been different people. Maybe they were products of their environment, but so was Harrow, and she values Gideon's life SO MUCH that she'd literally rather carve out parts of her own brain than exploit her. Gideon grows up knowing really NOTHING about cavaliers, so remote from the horrors of the empire that she develops an idea of what the cohort is from porn magazines. And in a lot of ways, that upbringing was desolate and terrible, and in a lot of other ways it literally DID NOT HAVE TO BE.

Gideon's MAIN THING is that she wants to be useful, to be needed, to be loved and it SUCKS that she couldn't even get it in the one place where she was actually an invaluable resource, where the death empire had the weakest reach. Gideon can't even blame her lack of love on the fucked up chivalry system like everyone else can because it JUST WASNT REALLY RELEVENT!?!?! This is like if i rolled up to the trauma competition and everyone else was raised in a nuclear warzone by wolves or something and i grew up in like, the suburbs and was raised by teachers and i somehow STILL WON. truly what the fuck guys.

[molasseslord]

thinking again about how portal stones in tgh and even egwene's testing in tdr confirm that she and rand had no happy ending in emonds field...they both had to channel or the not channeling would kill them, they had to become dragon and aes sedai (amyrlin), the quiet life might have been was never really in the cards...that domestic life would've strangled them and killed them slow...goodbye