mmoonlightmmagic - Tumblr blog

mmoonlightmmagic · 1 year ago

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"Often times in nature something must die for something else to live..."

Takes place after tlou part II. Ellie meets a girl while on a journey to find Dina and JJ in New Mexico.

Chapter 2

"New Mexico," Ellie walked around the girl, bending down to pick up the map she had dropped before falling. She unfolded it, found the specific markings around Albuquerque and turned around. "You're from there?" She asked.

"No, Rocky Ford." The girl said, "Why?"

"Were you going there? Did you know I was going there are you.." Ellie sighed, "are you following me down there?"

"How would I know where you're going?"

"You gave me a map, with specific directions to New Mexico. That's where I'm going, why else would they be marked?"

"It's not my map."

"You gave it to me, I mean it was you right? You've been leaving me all the gifts with the white ribbon." Ellie said, taking her finger off of the map to point at the ribbon wrapped in the girls plait. The girl adjusted her weight to lean on her left hip, fiddling with the pink carnation in her hands and staring Ellie down like she was insane.

"I did. That was me but,"

"So why is New Mexico marked? Are you going, have you been there?"

"It's not my map. I found it in a lodge about a mile west of here. New Mexico was already marked." The girl said coming closer to stand by Ellie and point down at the map. "This was me." she said running her fingers over the circles marking where Ellie had been camping and the paths she had been following. "This was not." Her finger ran down the lines to New Mexico.

"So you were following me?" Ellie asked eyeing the circled camps.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"You're not taking care of yourself, they are going to see that and take advantage of it."

"What? Who's they? Wait you found this at a lodge?"

The girl nodded and pointed up into the mountains. In the distance was the half of a roof was peaking out from above the tree tops. Ellie squinted to look at it before checking the map again. Her heart started to race, she wondered if it was possible Dina had left this map behind. She wouldn't, Ellie thought, especially since she had JJ with her. She wouldn't just leave her map.

"Did you see anything else in the lodge? Had anyone been there? Was anyone there?"

"I didn't stay long enough to find out. It's not safe." The girl said as Ellie looked at her. Ellie folded the map and shoved it into her backpack before grabbing the girls arm and dragging her in the direction of the lodge. "Hey, look I'm serious. It's not safe." The girl said trying to get out of Ellie's grip.

"I need to check. You're gonna show me exactly where you found this map. I'm not worried about infected."

"Infected? That's not what I'm-"

Ellie groaned and continued to pull her forward.

"I just need to check okay? It's important."

They were silent on the way to the lodge, Ellie walking beside the girl the entire way, too distracted by thoughts of Dina to notice the girl constantly checking over her shoulders. When they finally arrived the girl pulled a knife from her boot and lingered for a moment at the bottom of the steps. Ellie pulled her gun from its holster, holding in tightly to prepare for any infected. The girl put her hand on the top of Ellie's gun and shoved in down, shaking her head and bringing a finger to her lips. Ellie's brows raised, but she put it back in its holster anyway and pulled out her knife instead.

She followed the girl in through the doors, stepping lightly into the dark lodge. They checked every room and corner before agreeing it was clear and moving upstairs to do the same. All of the rooms were covered in dust and full rotten furniture from water leaking through the roof. The floors creaked as they walked causing an uneasy feeling in them both. After most of the second floor was checked they stood in front of the door to the last room. The girl tucked her knife into her waistband and motioned for Ellie to follow her inside.

"I found the map here." The girl said watching Ellie walk in.

Ellie looked around, a room that had been occupied at some point in the past. A sleeping bag left on the floor, unzipped as if someone got up one morning and never came back. A flashlight on the dresser, shining its light when Ellie clicked it on. A mason jar half full of food tipped over in the windowsill, a spill running down the wall below. Desk and chair flipped on their sides.

"Why are we checking this place again?" Ellie rubbed the back of her neck and looked over at the girl who was now holding up a dusty rose colored button up. In her mind she saw Dina. Pressed against her front, swaying to the tune she was humming, JJ held tightly in her arm. As the girl ran her hand over the shirt dust flew into the light peaking from the window. Ellie felt her stomach turn as she stared at the shirt. She held her hand out for it, the girl placing it in her hands. "I really think we should leave." The girl pleaded.

Ellie brought the shirt to her nose, the familiar scent of Dina filling her lungs. Dina was here. It was Dina's map. Her hands began to shake as she folded the shirt and held it against her chest, glancing around the room again while she did. She knew Dina, she wouldn't have left all of her stuff like this, why did she leave in such a hurry? Ellie tried to rationalize, thinking maybe Dina found better stuff, but Ellie had been all over this mountain the last few weeks and she knows there's nothing better out there. She also hadn't seen Dina or even a trace of her, but it had been months since Dina left Jackson. And weeks for Ellie to catch up. Was Dina safe? Safe. Ellie looked up the girl, her body pressed behind a curtain as she peaked out the window, a hand holding on tight to the handle of the knife in her waistband.

"What did you mean it's not safe?" Ellie asked getting her attention. The girl took a double take between Ellie and the window before walking over. She was nervous, chewing on her bottom lip. "You told me they would see me, they would take advantage of me. You weren't talking about infected, were you?" She said stepping closer to the girl, needing an answer. "Who's they?"

"Rangers, they call themselves rangers. It's a bunch of men from a commune in Durango. They come up here to hunt."

"You're saying a group of men killing deer are gonna take advantage of me? And you're scared?"

"No."

"Then what are you saying? What are you afraid of?"

"They don't hunt deer. They hunt women."

The room fell quiet. Ellie opened her mouth to reply when a door slammed downstairs, shaking the entire lodge. Ellie tossed the shirt on the bed and pulled her gun out of its holster. The girl ran to the other side of the room to look out the window, a group of men standing at the back entrance of the lodge. Dressed in camouflage outfits, handguns hanging from their belts, green masks pulled over their heads.

"They're here." The girl whispered. Ellie moved quietly to put her ear against the door. The girl stood behind her, head leaning over her shoulder to listen to the noise. Ellie turned her head, the bottom half of her face pressing into the girls hair.

"Do you know if they found a girl out here? Or a baby?" She asked quietly. She was fearing the worst. She wasn't putting together what the girl had been telling her. She wasn't scared of infected, she was scared of people, and Ellie didn't let her explain before dragging her up here. The girl looked up at her, her lips trembling. Maybe she was wrong, maybe it isn't Dina's shirt. Maybe she didn't recognize Dina's scent and just imagined it. Maybe the shirt and the map and its path to New Mexico was just a coincidence. Please let it be a coincidence. Foot steps, heavy and slow, echoed from down the hall.

"I don't know. Please let's leave." She begged Ellie quietly pulling on her arms from behind. Her eyes were wide, staring into Ellie's. Ellie turned around, wrapping her arm around the girls back and leading her to the window. She looked down through the glass, a far drop into a pile of rocks. She mumbled a fuck under her breath and grabbed the bottom of the window, trying to pry it open.

"It's fucking stuck." The girl said trying to help Ellie push the window up. "Fuck!" She started to panic, hands running through her hair to push it out of her face. The foot steps in the hall were getting closer. Ellie tried the next window, but no luck. Both windows were sealed shut, trapping them between four walls and whatever the girl was so scared of. The girl continued to pull on the window, hands turning red and shaking.

"How many?" Ellie asked grabbing the girls shoulders to face her. The girl shook her head, trying to think of an answer.

"They travel in groups, maybe ten.." She told her.

"Ten?" Ellie asked looking down outside of the window again. She nodded before picking up the desk chair and throwing it through the window. "Try to land on your feet." She said pushing the girl towards the broken class. Heavy footsteps pounded down the hallway, right towards the room. Ellie stood in front of the window, gun aimed towards the door. The girl began to climb out of the window, glass cutting through the skin on her hands. The door swung open, slamming into the wall. Ellie fired her gun, a bullet piercing through a man's head as he dropped to the ground.

"Come on!" The girl yelled to Ellie as she hung on to the window, her body hanging against the side of the lodge. Yelling filled the hallway. Ellie took a breath and stepped forward, inching closer to the door. Her hands steadied as they got closer. You've done this before. You've done this before. You've done this before. Three men barged into the room one by one, Ellie firing her weapon at each one until they dropped, bleeding through their camouflaged tops. As the next one came in Ellie fired, a click echoing. She duck behind the tipped desk, pulling her knife out. The man shot at the desk, causing her to cover her head with her hands. She stayed quiet and waited for him to come closer before jumping up and knocking his gun from his hands. He pushed her to the floor trapping her underneath him. His hands held her wrists down, lifting and slamming the right one to make the knife drop from her hand.

"Found this one outside!" A man yelled barging into the room, leading the girl into the room. His mask was stuck deep in her mouth, hand gripping her hair at the scalp roughly. The man on top of Ellie turned to chuckle at his friend. Ellie saw her hands were tied in front of her body, no way to defend herself. She kicked her legs, not strong enough to get the man off of her. He scowled as his hands moved to her throat, pressing down until she couldn't get a breath. The second man laughed, pulling the other girl over to watch Ellie struggle.

"We not keeping that one?" He asked the man on top of Ellie.

"Haven't decided yet." The man smiled, turning his head to look up. As he did the girls boot connected with his jaw, knocking his upper body backwards. Ellie gasped and reached for her knife, her hand racing back to stick it in his throat. The other man reached down to grab Ellie, his hand leaving the girls hair. Ellie swung her knife at him, his hands trying to pin her back down. The girl, free from his grip pulled the mask from her mouth and picked up a gun from the floor. She held the barrel in her tied hands, staring at his back while he fought with Ellie. A blade of Ellie's knife cut through his chest causing him to back up.

The girl held the gun up and swung like she was playing baseball, cracking his skull. He yelled out in pain, turning to grab it from her hands. She swung again, this time hitting the side of his face. His body fell limp on top of Ellie. The girl dropped the gun and grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling his body from her chest. She fell to the ground, groaning at the impact. They laid there for a minute just breathing before Ellie spoke.

"Come here." she whispered, grabbing the girls ankle and pulling her close. She put the dull side of her knife between her teeth, holding it while she untied the girls wrists. Once untied, the girl kicked the man in front of her, rolling him over.

"He's still alive." She mumbled watching his chest rise and fall.

"Good." Ellie replied, sitting up.

It took them a few minutes to drag him to another room and prop him up in a chair. Ellie tied him to it, both hands and feet. The other girl didn't question her, thankfully. Ellie didn't want to have to explain what was going through her mind or what she was doing right now. She grabbed the button up from the other room, clutching in tight as they waited for him to wake up. It felt like hours, waiting in the silence, praying more men didn't show up.

"What do they do with the women?" Ellie finally asked, breaking the silence. The girl turned to look at her, a knowing look in her eyes.

"You know what they do." She mumbled. Ellie nodded, she did know. She was just hoping she wasn't right.

"If you know they're taking women in the mountains, why do you stay here?" She asked, her brows furrowing. "I mean if you're scared, why do you stay?" She was genuinely curious. Nowhere was really safe, but there's places safer than here.

"It's a long story." She said, leaning back against the wall. Ellie looked at the man tied up in the chair, his head hung low, eyes closed.

"I think we got time." Ellie said looking back at her. The girl sighed, hands dropping to her lap.

"If I tell you, will you tell me what we're doing here?" She asked looking up at her. They held eye contact for a minute, Ellie biting her lip before deciding to agree. She nodded and sat up straighter, waiting for the girl to spill her story.

"I grew up in Rocky Ford, just a little west of here. My dad, brother, and grandma took care of me. He was tough, my dad. All he cared about was how straight I could shoot. I was too young to understand or care what he taught me about survival, until I met this boy. My dad hated him, said he was dangerous. All I saw were those big brown eyes and smile, I thought my dad was being hard on him for no reason. My brother tried to resolve their issues, he was always stepping in to defend everyone, he was sweet that way... he just wanted everyone to love each other." The girl took a few breaths and looked up, her chest rising and falling softly. She tried to find the right way to explain the mess she made.

"One day it got, bad. All of the arguing had lasted so long, everyone was on edge. My dad had said he knew this guys secret, wouldn't tell any of us what it was. They had started to get physical, pushing and hitting. My brother jumped in, hoping to calm them down. I don't really know how it all happened, but my dad got so angry. He shot my brother, straight through his eye. I don't know if he meant to, maybe it was just the heat of the moment and he didn't think, maybe he just meant to scare him away. Either way, this boy I had been seeing watched it happen and didn't waste a second killing my dad afterwards. I remember just screaming, I had no idea what to do. My grandma finally made it back, she heard the gunshots from outside." She slowed her talking, tugging on the ribbon in her hair.

"What happened to the boy?" Ellie asked, leaning in closer.

"My grandma, Jess. She killed him. Told me my dad had been following him on days he disappeared. He was a ranger. My dad watched him kidnap and kill women up in the mountains. He followed him all the way to Durango, saw what they were doing to the women there. He was scared that he'd end up taking me and my grandma, but he didn't want to tell me. Thought I wouldn't believe him. My grandma and I ran around Colorado for a while, scared the rangers would come looking for us. She eventually got tired of running. Told me it was all my fault, that I had to let go of my pride. She died a few days later, a group of rangers attacked us, killed her. Thought they killed me, left me there bleeding. She always told me people come back, that after we died we got another chance, that one day when I realized it's more than just me I'd find them all again. I realized that, you know, she was right. My dad was right. I figured when they came back I'd find them here, so I've stayed." She finished looking over to Ellie, offering a small shrug from her shoulders. Rain pattered against the roof and windows, the room becoming dark. Ellie felt for her, having made decisions that hurt everyone she loved too, she understood. There was something about the girl that she recognized.

"I came looking for my family. My..." Ellie stuttered, "My Dina. Our baby, JJ. I left them to hurt someone. They killed somebody I loved. He was my dad in a way. I shouldn't have left but I just... I felt like I had too. It was all I thought about. When I got back home they were gone, they had left for New Mexico. Dina was from there. When you left the map for me, said you found it here, I got worried that it was Dina's map." Ellie held up the shirt. "Then you found her shirt, and these Rangers... now I'm worried they took her."

The girl wrapped her arm around Ellie's shoulders, pulling her in close. Thunder shook the building, lightning flashing through the window. Ellie could smell the floral scent on her, the same scent from the shirt she was gifted. Her fingers drug up and down Ellie's arm. The man in the chair coughed, his head raising up, arms struggling against the ropes. The two girls stood up, watching his reaction to his current situation. He yelled out at them, shaking the chair, legs creaking under his weight.

"Get me out of these fucking ropes." He said glaring at them. Ellie stuck her knife deep into his thigh and pulled it out, blood dripping onto the rubber of her converse. He groaned, cursing under his breath.

"Did you take a girl and a baby from this lodge?" Ellie asked, positioning her knife above his other thigh. He shook his head, clenching his jaw. "A girl and a baby." Ellie repeated herself.

"No she got away." He said, "Dark headed? Fucking mean. She killed a few men and ran south. Took the kid with her. Probably didn't get far though." He chuckled. Ellie's knife went into his thigh, dragging it down.

"Whats funny?" She asked, the grip on her knife tightening. He screamed, trying to reach for the knife but failing against the knots on his wrists.

"There's more of us down south." He spat out. "A whole camp on the old military base in Albuquerque. She might've got past us but she was running straight to them."

Ellie pulled her knife out and turned to the girl, their eyes meeting. A moment of realization crossing their faces. The girl bent down and pulled the map out of Ellie's bag, unfolding it and walking up to the man. Ellie stepped to the side, looking over the map. Her breath caught in her throat, the girl squeezing the edges of the map before turning it around.

"Is this the base?" She questioned, glancing at Ellie before looking down at the man. He nodded.

"Yeah, used to be Kirtland. Took it over after the outbreak." He said leaning his head back. "Hundreds of us. Like I said, probably didn't get far."

His head dropped as a shot rang through the room, blood covering the wall behind him. The girl let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and looked at Ellie. Her gun was still raised, finger shaking against the trigger. It's not Dina's map. Ellie put her gun back in her holster and grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulders. The girl watched as she left the room, her footsteps bounding down the hall. She sighed, feeling sick for the girl she just met. She folded the map back up and grabbed her own bag, looking at the dead man once more before heading out of the lodge.

She met Ellie outside, standing on the grass in front of the lodge, rain pouring down on her. They stood side by side, Ellie staring at the trees, her staring at Ellie. Ellie closed her eyes, Dina's face flashing in her mind. Her smile, her freckles, her long dark hair, her soft eyes. She heard her laugh, filling the farmhouse, her old garage. She thought of the dance where they kissed, the way Dina's sweaty cheek felt against hers. She thought of the scar on her stomach from when she slipped off a skateboard and fell on her knife, the way her fingers felt when she touched it. She thought of the couch they laid on before she went to find Joel the day he died, then the couch she sat her on before she told her she was pregnant in Seattle. She thought of how her stomach knotted up both of those days, the same way it is now.

Ellie opened her eyes when the girl beside her squeezed her arm. A concerned look on her face. I have to Dina and JJ. Ellie considered the hundreds of rangers, the base, the mountains, and the girl beside her. She turned to look at the girl, the wound on her stomach still bleeding, wrists rubbed raw from the ropes, stained ribbons in her hair. She knows about the rangers. She knows her way through the mountains.

"I need your help." Ellie said, rain running down her face to settle on her lips. The girl nodded, raising her hand up for a handshake. Ellie looked down at it, the cut from the windows glass bleeding, the rain pulling the blood down the girls arm. Ellie looked down at her own hand, blood covering it as well. She laughed over the thunder and pushed the girls hand down.

"We're not swapping blood."

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mmoonlightmmagic · 1 year ago

Text

white ribbon

"Often times in nature something must die for something else to live..."

Takes place after tlou part II. Ellie meets a girl while on a journey to find Dina and JJ in New Mexico.

Chapter One

Ellie closed her eyes and groaned as she fell backwards onto the bed. Her heart was nearly beating its way out of her chest. She held tightly to her side, the pain from a month's old wound still lingering. When she finally opened her eyes they met with the ceiling fan. It was covered in dust and barely hanging on, only a few wires holding it in its place. She stared at it, too tired to drag her eyes anywhere else in the room.

Sighing, Ellie began to contemplate her decisions leading to this moment. Maria's voice still ringing in her ears,

"New Mexico! Okay, Ellie? She went back to New Mexico."

After returning home to an empty farmhouse, Ellie wasted no time getting back to Jackson in hopes to find her family. When she came up empty handed she begged anybody she passed to tell her where Dina and JJ went, but nobody could tell her. She started to spiral, scared they had disappeared without a trace, scared she would never see them again, scared they wouldn't be alive even if she did.

It took her hours to get it out of Maria, who had tried her best to keep quiet. Maria knew how Ellie would react. She knew if she told Ellie, that within the minute Ellie would be outside of Jackson's gates, on another death mission. A mission she knew Ellie could not handle at the time.

She didn't even know if Dina and JJ made it to New Mexico, the last time she heard from Dina being when she said goodbye and walked away with JJ on her hip. At the time, that was months ago, not long after Ellie left for Santa Barbara. Surely enough, Maria was right. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Ellie was running out of Jackson.

Now, Ellie is lying in a cabin in the Rocky Mountains. She wasn't even halfway to New Mexico, and had no idea where to look when she eventually made it there. Ellie clenched her jaw, staring so hard at the ceiling fan that it seemed to be spinning. She wonders if Dina would just send her away if she showed up. She knew what she did was unforgivable, leaving both Dina and JJ the way she did. For seemingly nothing. Ellie was almost sure Dina didn't want her to show up, but she had to try. She'd regret it the rest of her life if she didn't at least try.

She finally stood up and took a breath, deciding to keep moving in order to distract herself. The floorboards creaked under her steps as she made her way out of the house. The sun was shining down on her as she headed towards the overgrown forest back to the trail she had previously been on. The mountains were quiet, the terrain making it hard for the infected to navigate. Ellie knew she could follow the mountains to New Mexico, and hoped that they stayed quiet for that time.

She walked for what felt like hours before stopping again, taking a seat against a nearby tree. The sun would be setting soon. She pulled out her map, praying to see a marked spot that could keep her safe for the night. She began to regret her decision of following the mountains when she wasn't finding anything on her map.

"Fuck..." She mumbled dropping it down against her thighs before bringing it up to check again incase she missed anything.

"There's nothing fucking here."

Being completely lost in her thoughts had made the entire trip miserable so far. She wasn't planning ahead as well as she normally would, and it was beginning to take a toll on her. Making her feel paranoid, like something was always watching her. It all made it harder for her to stop to sleep or eat. She folded the map back up and shoved in into her bag, deciding she has no other choice than to find something on the way. Rolling her eyes, she stood up and adjusted her backpack straps trying to make the heavy luggage a little more bearable.

As she walked the thoughts came back. How she so much time has gone by and how she's spent all of grieving. Grieving Riley, Jesse, Joel... She doesn't know the person she would be right now if she hadn't spent her whole life grieving. Now she worried that she would soon be grieving Dina and JJ. Time was still passing by. That thought was crippling. She felt sick, knowing how she thinks about Dina is how Dina thought about her when she left for Santa Barbara. Dina knew at the time Ellie was still full of grief, she just never realized she was still full of rage. A rage strong enough to pull her away from their home, from their family. Dina didn't deserve it, Ellie knew that. She knew she didn't handle it right and she felt terrible about it. She saw her fault in all of it.

She unbuttoned the top button on her flannel as she started to feel like she was choking. Her hands were shaking. She looked down at them as she continued to walk, the skin where her two fingers used to be now scarred. Sometimes she hoped she would wake up and they would be there, that all of it had been a dream. Her hands dropped back to her sides.

The sun was starting to set now. The forest was growing dark, and she never passed a place to camp out for the night. She bit her lip, wondering if she should just turn back for the cabin she had been in just a few hours prior. No, she thought. It would take too much time.

She turned on the flashlight clip on her backpack strap. If she passed a place to stay she didn't want to miss it in the darkness. The darker it got the more nervous she became. She didn't know this area at all. Her converse rustled against the plants covering the ground beneath her. The walk lasted nearly an hour before she gave up, settling on sleeping in the forest. She rested up under a rock-shelter, a small fire started to keep her warm for the night.

Ellie slept until the early hours of the morning, the sun barely shining over the tops of the mountains. Her fire now warm ashes. Silence lingered in the rock-shelter she had barricaded herself in. She reached out for Dina when she first woke, her hand grabbing nothing but fistfuls of the cold grass. She was alone. Alone and trapped in a memory of what used to be. She sat up shakily, pulling her knees to her chest, quiet sobs echoing around her.

Her head tilts to look up at the forest. Tears slowly evaporating from her cheeks as she catches a glimpse of color against the base of a tree. The jacket in her lap drops to the ground as she stands to walk towards to the tree. A white ribbon secured a small brown package, placed upright for her to see. She looked around the trees and the ground. No footprints, no noise, nobody lingering around. Her bottom lip caught between her teeth, maybe she didn't see it last night, she thought.

She picked up the small package, something light tucked away in the brown paper. She pulled the ribbon off and carefully unfolded the paper. A fragrance filled the air, warm and light. A sandwich. She ran her finger down the center, right where it had been cut. Brining it to her nose, she huffed in the scent. The bread was still warm, meat cooked and stacked in between both pieces. She looked around again, thinking she had maybe lost her mind. Who would have left this? Was it for her? She didn't hear anyone come by. They left no trace of their visit other than the food wrapped up like a gift. Truthfully, it had been days since she ate anything. As weird as it was, she was thankful. Taking her spot back in the shelter, she sat down and ate, white ribbon weaved in her fingers.

Ellie didn't receive another gift for five days. She continued walking down the trail, sleeping in random spots out of sight that she could curl up in, one night she was lucky enough to stumble across a cabin. Every morning she woke up she checked the surrounding area, for some reason unbeknownst to her, she wanted to spot a white ribbon. It wasn't until the morning after she had ran into a few infected, checking her map down by the water. Through the commotion she had fell into the water, her clothes soaking wet and her map floating away. By the time she had killed off the last infected the map was long gone. She broke down, her only way to Dina had been washed away. Her hands slammed down into the water repeatedly, her cries filling the air.

She crawled to the shore, begging herself to turn around, to walk deep into the water and drown. She wanted the current to wrap her up and swallow her whole. Her legs rested in the water while she sobbed, hands clenching her scalp. I can't do anything right. I have never done anything right. I will never do anything right. I want to get it right. Her thoughts were ugly. Consuming every part of her for years. I'll love them right next time. Next time it'll be right.

"Let me do it again," she pleaded to nobody, desperate and weak."Please, let me do it again. Please."

The next morning when she woke she saw the familiar white ribbon, wrapped around a new map, tied off into a perfect bow. Her hands left the comfort of her bed roll, one she never bothered to unroll. One she just held tightly in her arms as if her lover was there, sleeping with her. She sighed, relief rushing through her.

Two days later she received her third gift. This time it was a clean t-shirt folded neatly, resting on her backpack, same white ribbon wrapped around it. In between the bad thoughts, she often thought of the stranger leaving these gifts. She had been uneasy the past few weeks, scared she was being watched. It seemed to ease her mind that whoever was watching didn't intend on hurting her. She felt embarrassed at how miserable she must've looked for a stranger to care for her like this.

Her hands held on to her backpack straps as she walked, fingers occasionally running over the white ribbons she had tied on them. She smelled the new shirt as she walked, the simple navy fabric wafting the floral scent with every step. Things so small that brought her such intense comfort.

It was a few hours later when she left the stillness of the forest and stumbled upon what she thought was an old highway. She took out her map, unfolding it for the first time since it came into her possession and running her fingers along the roads hoping it was one she could follow south. Nature had taken over the road, the only thing confirming her thoughts being a faded Saguache County road sign a few yards away. As she went to fold her map back up she noticed pen marks. She inspected them, following them to the bottom of the fold. Near every area where she had slept was marked with a circle, the paths she followed all marked. She unfolded the map, following the markings on roads down to Santa Fe then farther down to Albuquerque, the entirety of its southeast circled. Was she being followed to New Mexico? How could someone be following her somewhere she hasn't been yet? Has the stranger been to New Mexico already? Had they seen Dina passing through? Dina.

"Hey!" She yelled towards the trees. Her converse stuck on the road as if she dried with the asphalt all those years ago. She was met with silence. She repeated herself, louder this time. She felt scared again, if the stranger did answer, what would she even say? Still, silence.

Ellie's thought process was almost non existent as she ran back towards the forest. She called out through the trees, begging for someone to answer her. The longer she ran through the trees the more senseless she became. The yelling had attracted infected, clickers creeping through the darkness. Even while defending herself, knife swinging through the air, she continued to yell.

Ellie knew she could attract more than infected with her cries, but she didn't care. All she could think about was finding the stranger. If they knew where she was going, had they seen Dina, had they seen JJ, what's in New Mexico, why it's marked on their map. She ran through the woods until she couldn't anymore. Nobody was coming to answer her.

The next morning she stayed sitting down the fire in front of her for hours. Map stretched out across her lap. She checked every inch of it. Looking for any more marked areas, any writing, anything. But there was nothing. So she would check again. Nothing. And again. Nothing.

"Fuck." She mumbled tossing it down beside her. She put her elbows on her knees, hands cradling her own head. "What am I doing?"

Ellie got up and walked down to the water, kneeling down to rinse her hands and face. She gasped, the cold water giving her goosebumps. She stared at her reflection, her skin was tan from the journey so far, her cheek bones prominent from the lack of food, eyes dark and tired. As she stared she thought about how she didn't even recognize herself anymore, how dangerous her love has made her the past few years. She was constantly finding herself in situations she never thought she'd be in. Blinded by the fact that it was dangerous because she was clinging to false hope. Hope of avenging Joel, twice. Hope of finding Dina. She looked like hell.

With a snap of a branch her head shot up, her eyes scanned the surrounding area, listening for the familiar clicking, a voice, an animal. The empty forest stared back at her. She glanced back at the water once more before walking back to the small camp she had set up. As she came upon the small fire she threw her hands up in defeat.

She picked up a tattered box of old sketching pencils wrapped in a white ribbon, a pink carnation tucked in between. She sighed, shoving the pencils into her bag and the carnation into the pocket of her button up shirt, just as another snap rang through her ears.

"Wait!" She yelled, quickly picking up her map and running off, backpack swinging in her hand. She followed the noise, dodging low hanging branches and tripping over stumps. Her feet were fast, pulling her tired body quicker than she could think. She ran out of the trees, sun light blinding her for a quick moment before she reached the edge of a rock, a deep cave hidden in the ground. Her converses were slick, worn down soles sliding to a stop before she fell, the momentum of her upper body pulling her down. Her right side hit the ground with thud, pain weighing her down. She groaned, looking up at the hole above her, sun too far away to shine light down into the darkness.

"No," she whispered, pulling herself to her feet, arms reaching high in attempt to pull herself out. She could feel the blood slowly running down her check, a small cut decorating her forehead. She whined, attempting to climb the walls. Pain was throbbing throughout her body, weighing her down. "I'm stuck! I'm down here I can't climb out, please!" She cried out "Please!"

"I'm so fucking stupid." She whispered, grabbing the sides of her face and groaning. What was she doing? Chasing down a stranger just to get stuck in a cave. She was desperate, lonely and stupid. Thoughts of Dina lingered during the day and came alive in her dreams, just for her to wake up lonely. So lonely she was desperate enough to chase down a stranger, and stupid enough to end up down there. "Please I'm stuck!" She screamed, voice cracking and sounding more like a sob.

A hand reached down into cave, extending just far enough for Ellie to reach. She jumped up, grabbing it and holding on tight, walking herself up the wall of the cave with the extra support. When she reached the top her hands shot out, gripping the grass and pulling herself the rest of the way. She laid face down on the grass, breathing heavy and shaking. When the pain subsided she stood, pushing herself off of her knees. She rubbed the back of her head and groaned feeling the blood coat her fingers.

"You were looking for me." A voice called out behind her.

Ellie froze, the voice ripping her mind away from the wound on the back of her head. The pain had taken so much of her attention she forgot she didn't pull herself out of the cave. She turned around. A girl stood a few feet away, blue eyes staring into Ellie's. Her wavy brown hair fell just above her hips, blue feathers and beads hanging from a plait behind her ear, a white ribbon wrapped through a plait on the other side. Her blue cami was bloody and ripped, exposing a wound on her stomach, dirty jeans tucked into her studded grey boots.

"Yesterday on the road. Today in the woods. You were looking for me."

Ellie stared at her, tilting her head as if she was confused. A scowl made its place on her face before she bent down and picked up a stick, throwing it right at the girl, then another one, and another one.

"I ran around the forest for hours," she said throwing a clump of grass at her due to the sudden lack of sticks at her feet. "I screamed until I lost my voice," her hand shot to her chest, pulling the crushed carnation out of her pocket and throwing it too. "I fell into a fucking cave."

The girl stared at her, not phased by her actions. She picked up the carnation, stripping the stem of the ribbon she had adorned it with a few hours before. Before she could put it in her pocket it was snatched from her hands. Ellie clenched her jaw, fingers rubbing her forehead. She tried to think of what to say, how to explain why she had been looking for her, why she had been running around like a maniac since she saw the map on the road, anything. The girl stepped closer to her, now just inches away. Ellie sighed, waving the ribbon in between their faces.

"Yeah. I was looking for you."

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