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Maininiwala ka ba kung sasabihin kong nanakawan ako?

Nanakawan ako ng oras para maging masaya, Nanakawan ako ng oras para mahalin ang sarili ko–pero Hindi bat’ sabi nila, masasabi mo lamang na nakawan ka kung labag sa iyong loob na kunin ng iba ang kung ano mang  bagay na ninakaw sayo?

 Pero iba ako. Pumayag akong nakawan mo… 

Pumayag akong nakawin mo ang mga oras na para sana sa sarili ko. Pumayag akong nakawin mo ang mga saya at ngiti sa labi ko dahil alam kong mas kailngan mo ito. 

Ngayon…

 maniniwala ka ba kung sasabihin kong nanakwan ako?

-Emmagno   

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Dalawang taon

Dalawang taon ang nakalipas tila nabawasan na "ata" ang sakit o nasanay na lang talaga 'ko sa pait, gumuguhit, kumakapit at papagapangin ka dahil 'di ka makahanap ng kapalit. Naghilom na ang ilan sa libo libong mga sugat, paltos at natapos na ang mahabang pag takbo, pag laban, pag sabay na agos, nawala na ang mga yapos tila humantong na tayo sa pagtatapos. Sumuko na... ang Isa sa mga mandirigma ng pag ibig, dahil hindi na sapat at bawat "Baby mahal kita" at "mahal mahalaga ka". Hindi na sapat ang "ako" para sa punuin kulang sa kanya. Bumitaw sya. At Bumabaw na ang dating malalim na samahan at tila nakita na may dulo pala ang walang hanggan. Natanggap na ang mga pag babagong naganap Dalawalang taon nakakatawa-- Dahil hanggang ngayon ikaw padin pala... ang naaalala Kamusta ka? kumain ka na ba? gusto mo pa rin bang pinagluluto kita? gusto mo parin kaya na saluhan kita sa mesa. anajan ka pa ba? Uy new hair style ah. Ano ka ba para ka namang iba. Kamusta na? ang kabisado kong galaw ang basa kong mga ngiti, tingin, galit. Bakit ngayon di na kita basa tila di ko na kilala ang bagong ikaw. di ko na mabasa, malabo na ata ang mga mata Bumabaw na ang malalim na pag tingin tila bumaling na sa ibang direksyon ang iyong mga tingin habang lumakad ka palayo paliko sa daan na di tayo patungo pero dati iisa lang tayo ng daan, Iisa lang tayo ng direksyon nung mga panahong wala pa sa isip mo ang pag liko kamusta? Diba dati ako ang iyong pam pakalma pag traffic, pag mahaba ang pila, pero dalawang taon na ang lumipas, maraming ng nag bago pati ikaw meron naring bago Dalawang taon... ngunit di parin nakakalimot ang puso Tila may paminsan minsang kirot at di matanggal na takot Tila may sarili itong pag iisip at naalala ang taong nakasanayang itibok Ngunit sya rin ang nakaramdam ng unang pagka pagod. Pagod na nilalabanan habang inaalala ang masasaya, inaalala ang kilig, inaalala ang lahat ng magaganda sa ating dalawa. tila itong puso ang nagsalba at sa huli ang sumuko. Naalala ka nito, sa mga oras na hindi ko plinano. Hindi ito planado. Hindi ko nga alam ba't sinusulat ko ito para sayo. dahil... Siguro... Tila sariwa pa ang ilan sa mga sugat na dala ng mga bagyo mula sa aking masalimuot na nakaraan nakaraan na sabi mo huwag ko ng balikan sabi mo ikaw ang aking kinabukasan pero bakit naging parte ka ng nakaraan na di ko na dapat balikan? dalawang taon may natitira pa tila may natitira pa sa pag mamahal na iyong pinunla Sariwa pa sa dito ang lahat ng ala ala nating dalawa Mga ngiti pag tayo ay magkasama mga yakap na tila di na ako makahinga sa higpit Mga halik na tila sumakop sa buo kong pag katao Mga pangarap na ating ginuguhit At ang mga Pangako na aking ipinunla sa sa kaila ilaliman ng isip. Pangakong tinutupad mo na, sa iba Sariwa pa rin ang pag ibig at sakit, pait, kirot, At di matapos tapos na pighati Dalawang taon na ang lumipas pero ako ay marami paring tanong Bakit ka nangako ? ngangakong hindi lilisan di ako papabayaan lagi akong aalagaan walang mananakit,iyong ipaglalaban nangako ng walang iwanan Pag sukong di ko non Inaasahan Tila dalawang taon na nga ang nakakalipas ngunit mahal parin kita wag ka mag alala narito ako sa dulo kung saan tayo nagtapos umaasang babalik ang nangiwan itutuloy ang naudlot na pagmamahalan Tutuparin ang mga pangakong hindi nakasatuparan Ilan taon pa ba ang lilipas bago mabago ang iyong isipan para balikan ang taong ni minsan hindi sumagi sa isipan na ikaw ay saktan, baliwalain at iwanan.

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The Third Crown

Mannylee Ann Pangandian Magno,20,  Melo Javilla!

People always ask me  how i felt when i was crowned as Binibining Cabanatuan 2nd runner-up, with an awkward smile, i would say "okay lang" but deep inside i want to share to them my story and the lessons. The crowning moment is definitely not special for me with all honesty. I know that the crowning moment is the fruit of all the hard work but also the mark of the end of the bonding moments and experiences of joining a beauty pageant.

Behind the Big Hairs, Glamorous make-up, cat walks and bonggang to the highest level performance on stage. *take note the spiral* I am just a simple woman who just want to achieve a dream. So let me share my story and experience of joining the Banatu Festival Binibining Cabanatuan 2017

I am not a first timer, In fact it is the third time to join pageants but it is my first time outside Weleyan (my school). One year akong napahinga sa pageants so kinakabahan talaga ko. *sights*

The  screening

It was a sunday afternoon. I am scared and tired. Tired because I just came from a seminar at St. paul Quezon City about Mental Stigma in Psychology. I am scared because i am not used to screenings like this, yung tipong madaming tao unlike sa school na close door ang screening. Ginanap ang screening sa Sm Mega Center, Habang naglalakad ako wearing my spandex black and gold bandage dress with my Handler/MUA Nay Mat, ang daming pumapasok sa isip ko. I know that I am not the standard Beauty Queen material. Medyo malaki ako compared to the others, nung pumasok ako sa back stage nadagdagan yung kaba ko so I quietly sat on the chair they gave me. Tahimik lang ako as I look all the aspiring candidates. Magaganda sila and it seems na yung iba sa kanila ay magkaka kilala na. I was very shy, I can't approach them. Eto talaga yung sakit ko pag first meeting mahihiya ang halamang makahiya sa sobrang mahiyain ko. at times sinsasabi ng iba na ang hirap ko daw i-approach dahil nga I am a victim of the RBF (Resting Bitch Face).

 The judges asked my nerve wracking questions like "Can you asses the mental state of the president of the philippines:" (Nakakaloka) fortunately I answered all the answers with all the wittiness i can give. Most of the questions are serious and about my course, Psychology.

So let's Fast forward, As I've been accepted to be one of the Candidates of Bb. Cabanatuan, I discipline myself on my diet. Nag jogging ako, Nag download ng kung ano anong diet programs, pati military diet tinry ko.  I go to the Gym and work out. I am really motivated to push my self para mapanindigan ko ang mga gusto kong gawin sa buhay. I am truly happy cause this is the first pageant na nanood ang Dad ko, Though not all the time nanonood sya, pero I know sinusuportahan niya ko. Sinamahan ako ng family ko during the screening so that is more than enough for me.

Binibining Cabanatuan is quite an experience. I have learned a lot of lessons like...

"You cannot please everyone"

This is true. During the pageant I gain more confidence dahil naging toned ang body ko. I am proud about it cause it is the result of all my sacrifices. My body is one of my insecurities, I don't have that super petite sexy legs and slim well toned arms. But with hard work, I know that I can confidently walk on stage with a two piece swimsuit and not disappoint my friends and Family for supporting me. As I was saying, with the lesson "You cannot please everyone" is this story. It is not new that when you join pageants it is expected that there will always be people that will try to bring you down. People that will say that you are not good enough blah blah blah. with the exact words "Ang taba nya, Kaya nya kaya mag swimsuit?" that particular statement became one of my motivation. There has been a lot of body shaming issues, but I never let a single word get into my system negatively. I always (as much as possible) turn the negative comments in a positive way that it somehow will be beneficial in my part. So to that person, Thank-you po :) The winning comment/Papuri is the "Di naman ganon kaganda yon, Matalino lang". I don't know how am I going to react with this, I know that we all have different standards in Beauty as we have in different countries, but we should respect the beauty of different races. But still, Thank-you Ma'am, I'd rather be called "not that pretty but smart" than "pretty but stupid".  I know that we are all different, and I truly respect our differences and I completely understand that people have different hearts and minds as we all think and raised differently. But please, STOP Body Shaming and before you give harsh comments about other people, please look yourself in the mirror and realize this, No body is perfect and you cannot please everyone.  

"Pretty Hurts" -B.K

It takes a lot of fall and nausea before you can perfect a good spiral. As it is my first pageant outside the University I know that Ibang level na ang labanan. The other competitors has different titles. Others are know for being a good walker, a title in a modelling competition,  some are known for being good in public speaking and question and answer portion, others stand out because of their height and some are know for being always the title holder. Yes with all the information about the other competitors in my head, I know for a fact that I need to put on so much effort in practicing the way I walk,  the way I talk, he way I pose and smile. Everything. It takes a lot of practice, specially the different kinds of walk. The small detail really matters, one small mistake may lead to an accident specially if you are wearing a 7 inches pageant heels. Its never easy, that is why I have high respect for those people who fall on stage and stand up again. It takes a lot of courage and confidence to stand up after falling. Before the Pre-pageant of the swimsuit competition, At Harvest Hotel Cabanatuan.  I practice my walk and the spiral. I really want to learn about it so I called my two friends (Kenneth and Boki) who are used in doing the spiral on pageants. It is hard at first, Honestly I never tough that I can do it. but I practice until I have blisters on my feet. I took the risk. I did it. I conquered my fear.  It hurts, but I am Happy that I have that special kind of fulfillment after doing it. Worth it.

"A Beauty Queen is not present at Birth, It is Made" -E.F

People always say that "always be natural on stage" but I am telling you it is hard. On stage, you have to wear your big smile, make your chinita eyes pop by opening it a little bit more. You need to make sure that you always have a good posture even tough you have back pain because of scoliosis. It is hard to look natural if you are not in your natural self. In real life, you don't always wear your big smile. It is not like that. But you have do it, if you really want it.As you practice and practice then you will develop those qualities. Eventually.

"If it's not for you, It's not for you"-MM

Hypocrisy aside, Every candidate was aiming to be the title holder. I know that we all have our fair share of the sacrifices, spending money , giving  time and investing effort. In joining pageants, you have to prepare and to always give you best. Trust your feet, be confident, and always have presence of mind. But in every pageant there can only be one title holder "One lucky girl" Is it my fate? I am not a firm believer of luck, If I want something I will work hard for it, i will sweat a lot to earn it, I will give more time to read and give emphasis on the things I want to give emphasis. But no matter how you work hard for something, there will be moments in life that you cannot have what you want. To me, It is the title. Maybe It is not for me and It is meant for somebody else, Not because I don't have what it takes, actually many girls have what it takes. We all have different unique qualities. it's just that, it's not the time yet. Even If I don't believe in "Luck" I do believe in my "Strong Faith"  I know God has a better plan for me and for all of us. It is quite an experience that I will never forget for the rest of my life.  

After all, the Real battle is not on the stage, but off stage as we face life challenges

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So in love with SOS @solennheussaff Eau de toilette ♥️ We saw it at the Sm department store and I find it really interesting as it caught my attention right away. Well I must say that I'm a huge fan of Solenn, but these are worth every penny. Very affordable and super bango. Sunrise is my favorite actually, Sooo Fresh!! I hope there's a bigger size na available, if merong bigger version, I would definitely purchase. #worthit 😉

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#colorrun2017

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Binibini Sisters ♥️ I'm glad I had the chance to bond with them again. Till next time girls 😘 I hope we'll be complete next time 💕 (at NYOrK - Not Your ORdinary Koffee Coffee and Sweetness)

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Binibining Cabanatuan 2017 👑 Coronation Night is on February 2, 2017 (7:00 PM), at Plaza Lucero Cabanatuan City. I'm your Candidate #12 😊 Make-up by: Nay Mat Centino Hair by: Mother P. Jeffrey Bayhon Photo by: Mr. Edgar Allan Rayo (Heartnet) (at BL Resort and HOTEL)

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No one has the power to shatter your dreams unless you give it to them -Maeve Grayson Binibining Cabanatuan Talent Competition. January 22, 2017 Song: The Greatest by Sia Choreograph by: @jimaldrin.sj My dance partner: @jayjay_box HMUA: Nay Mat Centino (at SM City Cabanatuan)

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BTS (at BL Resort and HOTEL)

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Happy Birthday @andreanavaaaa 🙈😂 (at SM Megacenter Cabanatuan)

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Bb. Cabanatuan Pre-Pageant, Swimsuit competition. 💃🏻 Credits to: @dm_gil (at Harvest Hotel)

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Make-up Artist: Nay Matricamae Centino Hair Stylist: Mother P. of Marikina Wardrobe by: Gem Carlos of Gapan Credits to: Photo Cab -- Ma'am Gia Baguisa (at Harvest Hotel)

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Festival Costume for Banatu 🌾 Wardrobe by: Sir Enoc of Aliaga Make-up by: Nay Matricamae Centino Hair stylist: Mother P. of Marikina. (at SM Megacenter Cabanatuan)

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🐒 (at Caffe La Tea - Robinsons, Ne Pacific Mall)

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🌌

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🥗🍗🥒🥕

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Just wing it. Life, Liner, Everything. 😉 Makeup by yours truly 💕 #makeupbyemmagno