mjoriginals

[mjoriginals]

Are there any pink pilates princesses in the room with us here tonight?

[mjoriginals]

Anyone else feel like there were some weird kinda fat joke vibes going on with Colin Robinson in the season 6 premiere??

[mjoriginals]

So that’s how it’s gonna be? Final season’s just gonna break my lil heart, huh? 😩

[mjoriginals]

The intimacy of someone leaning over you and using your computer

[mjoriginals]

Most of my pots don’t have lids

[mjoriginals]

Open In One Year on October 1, 2024

If you graduated: Fucking get it girl yaaaas🙏🙏

If you moved back to CO: I am so happy for you, trust me it was the right decision. You’re doing great👍

If you visited KT in Savannah: Hell yeah😎 Iconic, Slay Queen

If you miss Mom sometimes: Trust and Believe the best thing you ever did for your relationship with Mom was move out. You may miss Starbucks and Target runs with Meg. You may miss shmoking and watching TV with Nolan. But you honest to God feel worse when Mom is home from her trips and drinking and asking about every little thing you do and tryna get you a job in Point and talking shit and driving drunk etc. When you miss home just call Mom, or ft Meg, or plan a family trip or something. You got this.

If you haven’t already gotten: Invisalign, a Real Job, a gf, a dog, or Lasik… this is your sign to do that!! If you want!! You deserve good things fr fr. Go see a dentist or matchmaker or headhunter or whoever, you got this

You’re doing great but you can use this as a reminder to do something you wanna do like go whitewater rafting or bunging jumping or volunteer more or plan a trip or invite someone on a trip to see you or join a gym or join a church or go to a pumpkin patch or write a nice postcard or try a new coffee shop idk the world is your fucking oyster babe!!

I love you and I love the progress we’re already making just this year so I can’t wait to see what next year brings. Be kind yourself and to your roommate and remember the key to siblings and relationships is always leave them owing you one. If you’re going through a rough patch, remember Grandma always said “this too shall pass” and Grandma would be v proud of you too. Adrian would say “you’re a bad bitch” but that’s a whole other story lmao. Tbh can only go up from here, don’t feel bad getting the things your need, you deserve all the happiness in the world love youuuuu

[mjoriginals]

I think a Guillermo the Vampire Slayer spin-off could save me

[mjoriginals]

“This is a big pile of spaghetti that’s got a lot of noodles to pull on.”

-Some guy at work today

[mjoriginals]

I asked the IT guy if he could change my name from “Mj” to “MJ” in the email system and he said “Absolutely, I’ll do it right now. I want you to have the right name in the system” and honestly? Hot damn🥵

[mjoriginals]

And sometimes the lonesomeness feels like penance

[mjoriginals]

I love self-love. Love to be a part of it someday.

[mjoriginals]

Find a penny, pick it up

Bend it over, back it up

[mjoriginals]

Breaking news!

All my attempts at trying to emotionally distance myself from people who I thought were being emotionally distant to me has been for naught!

[mjoriginals]

Damn the way this boy spun me around the dance floor in a way I almost thought I could be straight again lmaoo

[mjoriginals]

I will never forget Kathleen saying she was going to come to my job interview with me and sit on their toilet a while. Lmao hands down most terrifying moment of my year

[mjoriginals]

To pack the vibrators or not to pack the vibratiors?

That is the question