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wip

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inconsequential whinging please don’t feel obligated to read cuz it’s just a lot of negativity about personal problems 🙇 really sorry about this

they really weren’t kidding when they said the pig zodiac is opposing tai sui again this year. it’s only mid april and my mental health has been in the trenches in a way it hasn’t been since 2021

I’m tired and burnt out and losing the plot, holding onto things i like and watching people walk out the door. the feeling will come and go; the soul-crushing silence when a lively discussion stops the moment i open my mouth, the sinking dread of being the only one in the room who has nothing big or important or clever to say, or the fear of a nice thing unravelling and crumbling into dust whether i can do anything about it or not. I know i just have to be patient and let the feeling pass and then carry on, but this year has been making that a much steeper climb so far.

it’s inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. i’m lucky and privileged to have been born and to be living in a safe, stable country far away from political strife, to have parents who despite my flaws and their own flaws still love and care for me, and to have a job where my coworkers and bosses are nice and approachable. i have enough to spend on silly little things and to indulge in my hobbies, and i have a life partner who is the closest thing to a soulmate i can expect to find in this absurd world. and i love my friends they’re the best in this entire dumbass universe

unfortunately feelings aren’t always very rational. i don’t think whatever’s cracked in my brain cares that i have it better than a lot of people out there. or maybe it does, but all it wants to do with that information is guilt-trip me for all this meaningless whinging about nothing.

i hope things will be better soon. it’s probably just my head going stir-crazy from mandatory work from home, practically trapped with people i fiercely hate, and lack of good sleep. i should make time for myself to enjoy peace and quiet away from everything once i get my time off next week.

and then i can come back to tackle things one tiny step at a time. i’ll be okay. i believe in that fully, i just need to catch up to that belief.

what do but to do? sit tight and wait for the storm to pass. emerge water-logged and stinky but still alright to keep going

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i have done alva day while running low on energy and i have Thoughts and no prayers

spoilers for the letter under the read more

LORD ALVA LORD ALVA LORD ALVA ALL HAIL THE LORD!!!

with that sexy deep authoritative voice he can command me to go anywhere anytime sir

also im curious about the jailbreak mentioned and the bodies exhumed. logically speaking, using the word “jailbreak” at all would invoke luca thoughts. luca didn’t break out of prison but he was bailed out by orpheus, so is the jailbreak referring to game 10 mayhaps? and the bodies exhumed are charles, tracy and (maybe?) wendy?

cuz

if that’s the case

they mentioned the perfect candidate for the ritual resulted from that jailbreak.

cat cult brainwashed luca ending might be on the table and i am frothing at the mouth for that i want it so bad (together forever with his laoshi in a deliciously twisted way) and it gives us very interesting questions about the cat cult possibly having meddled in game 10 with orpheus’ permission?

i’m trying to temper my expectations tho hngngnngh trying my best to see it from multiple angles but hngnngngngngnhnng

also it’s nice to have confirmation that alva was dead and buried but yoinked out of the ground by the cat cult (or maybe they yoinked him before the funeral and had a decoy buried instead)

also lord alva mmmmmmmmmmmmmm lord mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

and thankfully this time we’re not beating herman the dead horse again /o\

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happy character day alva \o/

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Ahh my heart. Rewatched Ted Lasso in need of some post-op comfort binging and noticed that Roy did not pick Isaac as team Captain only ‘cause he broke the TV !!?

Right before Ted starts up his famous Tan Lines speech in the locker room, Roy tells everyone to sit down and listen. But it’s Isaac who remembers to include Nate and invites him to sit as a member of the team. We are even shown Roy watch it happen, since Isaac has to bump Roy to make room and then pats the seat for Nate to join in.

Then in the next episode when the whole team is together for a movie night and watching Iron Giant, Isaac stops another player from scrolling on their phone to make sure they stay present for what is quickly becoming their emotional team-bonding experience. Again, we are shown Roy watching as it happens, this time more deliberately as the camera focus and lightning change to emphasize Roy’s reaction.

The first time I watched the show I adored Isaac but didn’t really connect with why Roy chose him, but now seeing that it was actually a thoughtful choice informed by these quiet moments of care where Isaac shows how mindful he is of the entire team and that he knows how important it is to keep everyone together without being told or asked??

God that’s precious. Makes me appreciate both Roy and Isaac so much more.

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i uh apologise to herman enjoyers

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Roy Kent and Jamie Tartt Man City (S2E08)

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Have you seen the 7th anniversary of idv post?

i HAVE INDEED i always watch the anniversary thank you videos

naib’s voice is so DEEP and BATMAN and GROWLY YES SIR PLS HAVE MORE FOOD

luca is so CUTE ARGH he’s so eager and excited so cute i can SCREAM i want to throw him into a blender and shake him lovingly

alva heavy side-eying his luca while insisting that he’d rather not socialise is MMMHHHH standoffish old man hello his voice is so nice and deep and silky i love

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luca in 000’s outfit in PTN (i just needed to get this out of the brain huhu)

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sagittarius and auditorium fit very nicely together - w -

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“Is that the plan for the rest of your life? You’re just gonna walk away the second it isn’t easy or fun?” Ted Lasso | 3x09

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HANNAH WADDINGHAM& BRETT GOLDSTEIN AS REBECCA WELTON&ROY KENT IN TED LASSO [2020-2023]

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revamped an old OC huhuhu

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doodly doo

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i want more nawaluca (particularly sagittarius and auditorium)

oh look I wrote this a while ago: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48879217

hehhehehe

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hi hi i really like riflori pffft