mister-gh0st

[mister-gh0st]

Help me off the couch? I ate too much 🙈

[mister-gh0st]

Reddit stories go so hard sometimes

[mister-gh0st]

Top 10 weight gain hacks?

In no particular order:

1. Replace everything you can with the higher calorie version. This may seem obvious but also consider alternative ingredients and increasing quantity of ingredients, for example swapping milk or water with heavy cream, adding double the butter that’s called for, etc. I know that that’s a no-brainer but it really does make a difference if you’re cooking a lot at home.

2. Surround yourself with snacks. When I shop and get a bunch of snacks, I just leave the grocery bag next to where I sit on my couch. Cookies, chips, poptarts, pastries, hand pies, you name it. So any time I’m feeling peckish or I’m just bored and need something to do, I have something within arms reach. I can mindlessly pack away an extra couple thousand calories a day this way and not even notice.

3. Create smaller goals. This one can be a little challenging, of course we all want to hit our ultimate goal as quickly as possible. But it’s so easy to get discouraged when you’re looking at a number that seems so far away. Breaking your goals up into manageable chunks makes the process quicker and more successful than lamenting over not gaining “fast enough” and losing steam. It also gives you reason to celebrate more often than if you’re only looking forward to the next 50-100lbs. For example, say you’re starting on 01/01 at 300 and your ultimate goal is 350. For the month of January your goal is to hit 310, for February it’s 320, and so on and so forth. That way you’re only really “pushing” for the gain for a few days at a time, if you even need to push at all. I hope that makes sense lol

4. That belly tapping thing actually works, lightly tap above your navel and continue tapping as you move from center to left. It may take a couple rounds of this, but in less than a minute you should feel your stomach start feeling empty again. It really really works, it’s also great for when you’re stuffed to the point where another bite will make you sick - just do the tapping thing and the pain and nausea dissipates. I don’t know the science behind this but it’s something I use on a weekly basis and has been a lifesaver.

5. Diet soda. I’ve always been a Diet Coke addict but I’ve found in my gaining journey that the days I drink Diet Coke I am OBSESSED with sweets and sugary treats. Otherwise I’m not too into sweet things, but when I’m chugging aspartame? Oh god it’s game over, I’d eat straight sugar if I had to.

6. Buy the bigger clothes in advance and wear them. This one is hit or miss, cause I love feeling my clothes bursting at the seams, but on the other hand it takes a lot of effort to get super fat and maintain it, so being comfortable as possible is also a must. I do wear the super tight ones still too, but I alternate depending on the day. If you have clothes that are (temporarily) loose on you, not only will you be comfortable but you’ll also have the added benefit of feeling yourself outgrow those too, which to me is more impressive than outgrowing something that was already a little snug.

7. Preset meals; if you’re a fast food junkie like I am and eat every one of your meals out of a greasy brown bag, this is a game changer. Spend a little time making lists of what you like from fast food places and their respective calorie counts. Then come up with realistic 2000+ calorie meals from that. Not stuffings so much as just a casual everyday lunch. So if you know that you need to hit a minimum calories per day, it’s super quick to order exactly what you need and you don’t have to put any effort into it. A lot of apps let you save your favorites to a separate list anyhow.

8. Fast food apps. If you don’t have a rewards app for every fast food place in a 20 mile radius of your home, are you even a feedee? All jokes aside, the amount of free or deeply discounted food I get every day is insane and I am so proud of my points balances lol this is one of my top hacks, I eat so much fast food anyway why wouldn’t I reap the rewards from that?

9. Eat before bed. Most of my eating happens within 2 hours of me falling asleep at night. I would conservatively say half of my daily calorie intake happens in the evening. It works, do it.

10. I’ve been gatekeeping this website for the last 9.5 years, but this is the most accurate calorie calculator I’ve ever used. It tells you your estimated weight over the next few months based on your body metrics and estimated calorie intake (or rather your daily goal lol) and has been consistently accurate for me in my gaining. I use it to plan my gains/other feedees gains and our daily and weekly calorie goals 😉

[mister-gh0st]

What will everyone think as I pile on all this weight? At first they may not say a word. A few extra pounds easily goes unnoticed under a nice, baggy shirt. But once that baggy shirt becomes tight, and the fat starts to peek out from underneath, I'll surely start catching stares here and there. They may still be too polite to mention it; that is, until the seams start to tear themselves apart. It'll be so obvious that I've lost control of myself, and they'll have no choice but to try and intervene.

Little do they know, the more they urge me to diet and exercise, the more I'll strive to do the exact opposite. Judgemental stares, worried talks and pure mockery will only encourage me to eat more and more, becoming as fat as humanly possible. They think I'm too fat now? I'll be completely unrecognisable by the time I'm done. So massively obese that even waddling becomes an exhausting chore. I'll turn those baggy shirts into crop tops in no time, constantly spilling out of even the largest clothes money can buy. Rolls of pure lard will consume every inch of me; covered in stretch marks and always on show for the whole world to see.

I'll turn myself into such a spectacle. Even the most polite people will catch themselves staring as I struggle to manoeuvre my wide and heavy frame through narrow doorways and into tiny restaurant booths. I may even break a chair or two here and there, causing people to wonder how my bones could possibly still manage to keep me upright! Then they'll watch on in horror as I continue to stuff my face, huffing and puffing, with no signs of ever slowing down...

I'll turn myself into such a disgusting, lazy slob, that even the harshest of critics will realise there's no turning back for me. My mind is too far gone and now my body is too. Constantly craving more, despite already being completely engulfed in thick layers of heavy fat.

Ignoring those cravings isn't an option anymore, and exercise is completely impossible. All I can do is continue to eat, and enjoy the looks on their faces when I do :)