misswetty - Tumblr blog

misswetty · 1 month ago

Text

SWEET MELODY

☆ chapter 21.5 — i'm sorry

The night remained sturdy.

The scent of damp asphalt and the commingle with the icy air didn’t help his senses come to. Kuni didn’t know where else to go that didn’t render less scrutiny of how he operated. Even if it meant he’d be withstanding a bitter bite of a nightly autumn. Mind twisted with the idea of even entertaining your presence, somehow a sickly sweet invitation.

But he didn't enjoy sweets very much. He stumbled out of his car, parking on the curb and holding onto the door. Wearing the remnants of a party that still had some awaiting people expecting him. He clutched the keys in his hand, cigarette smoke clinging to his skin like a ghost. His face, a mess of tear tracks and an old bruise that you gave him.

The purpling around his cheekbone was no problem compared to the letters that he found in his glove compartment that night. Years of hiding it, and handling it on his own, the letters were slightly worn from his lack of care for them. The ink smudged in the places where he was gripping onto them, hands trembling and his edges shabby.

There was a simpler time than this, and he was having a hard time remembering it himself. Mainly because he didn't want to remember it. Back when his former self only stayed a remnant in your head instead of an ugly reminder.

It was the same house he familiarized himself with, but this time, there was no sense of belonging he found. The once golden light he found with you and your family had died, there wasn’t any indication that you were even home other than his phone call to you. His desperate sounding phone call…he cringed.

Kuni hesitated before knocking, but immediately you swung the door open, a snugness immediately enveloping him with the scent of your home. Then it was you, who stood there with stress clouding your gaze, brows kitted together like you were coming across a newfound discovery. He wiped at his face, smudging the remnants of his tears as the bruise pulsates softly.

“Have you been crying..?” You asked in a small whisper, a weight of the things you couldn’t see him admitting anyway. There were freshly baked treats inside awaiting for him to entertain the idea. He didn’t want to be bothered.

“No.” He muttered in a heavy garble, his voice rough as he stared with dead eyes at you. Much like gravel that was kicked down the street.

His lies were smoke that refused to clear. You stared at him, unmoving, taking in his face. Perhaps a lot more adult than when you used to look at him. But while you were, he was also looking for something himself, trying to see anything that may give away your intentions.

You noticed the letters in his hand right away, your heart dropped to your stomach immediately. Something you had the displeasure of dealing with for a good while. Your words failed you, as he was still the same guy that you had the pleasure of falling for. Except this time? It felt bittersweet.

But you didn’t know what he wanted, which made you slump your shoulders. “Why are you here?” Your voice made out, fatigued, weary. The other could tell you were trying not to say anything out of line, but it was there, your exhaustion laced in your frustration.

“I don’t know.”

His own weak and vulnerable exterior he showed made him want to dig into you again and make you scream with him, but he couldn’t put up a front either for the sake of proving something to you. It didn’t mean anything worthwhile anymore. When faced in front of you this time, in his woozy and intoxicated stupor, he couldn’t find the strength to be cruel tonight.

You were about to step aside to let him in, but that wasn’t short of him entirely barreling over onto your body. Kuni’s body finally shut down on him, your hands instinctively wrapped around him while his legs gave out from beneath him. The ground felt swept away from you too, until your back hit the doorframe.

“Hey, come on—” You urgently tried to shake him awake with the strength you could muster, but to no avail. Heat radiated off of him, and you slowly dragged him in and to the couch. His scent thick alcohol, mingling with the piercing smell of cigarettes. His face buried in the crook of your neck, the shallow and quiet remnants of the tears he couldn’t leave unspoken for.

You knew he was awake, because of the soft mumbling you couldn’t hear. You shut the door behind you, awkwardly shifting your weight to the other foot. “I won’t give you anything you don’t want me to, but you have to work with me. You’re not even thinking straight…”

“You’re not fuckin— thinking straight. I don’t need you.” He jumbled, thick with his lessening defiance, even with no true conviction, his voice choked with his own weariness. “Things could have been different, you could have told me I was doing something wrong. Why didn’t you fucking tell me I was doing something wrong?”

You froze, your mind in a blur of what he could even possibly be talking about. You didn’t know what to tell him, other than what you knew, and that was the problem. “I don’t know.” Your voice choked, tears welling up.

“But you knew what she did. You knew why she was so stuck on you.” He let out a small, bitter laugh. “You knew I would never have what you did, not even with your mom.”

“Is that why you…hate me so much? You wanted what I have?”

He didn’t respond at first, blinking slowly. He stared at the ceiling to grasp on to the spins he took with a stronghold and kept tight of it. His eyes dull, face flushed with alcohol as his brain rendered murky and tangled. “I wanted to be you.”

You knew he was sobbing before he came here, but it looked different under the light of your home. Like something he kept locked away for a while and tucked into the recesses of his mind, an enigma that was searched for in anguish. His throat bobbing with the effort to hold his sorrows, muscles in his face twitch as he tried to calm himself down. You knew he wanted to say more, but his words were swallowed every chance he found.

Swallowing hard, you felt what impact he wanted to make on you. It settled into your chest, luring you into heartbreak and comfort that you couldn’t seem to shake yet. This was the love of your life at one point, he, who refuses to look in your eye. “Is he actually dead?”

You didn’t want to answer it, nor did you even want to be in the same room as the urn, but you consistently looked at every day. It was a reality that no longer served as a vacant possibility. You slowly nodded, tilting your head towards the shrine you created next to the antiques.

His shoulders slumped, face twisted in anguish as the venom from what he did to hurt you stayed hauntingly between the two of you. "How could you even fucking let me in after that?" His body curled inward, hoping to make the affliction he felt less tangible. Diminishing the palpable discern.

"Because I know you didn't mean it." You finally spoke, voice was light and filled with a quiet sympathy. He looked at you, despite how much your throat tightened, you still persevered. "You just...can't say that to me. Not right now." Your voice cracked. "Or maybe...ever? I don't know."

Kuni’s eyes narrowed as well to look at it, lips parting as if was going to answer, but hardly any words came out instead. His breath was uneven, eyes sliding towards you while staying dull and distant. “Come here.”

The things he says settled over you like a shroud, you defied what he initially said while keeping a stiffened demeanor. You felt your breath get stuck in your throat, a harsh and raw torment. “I should get you something to eat so you can head home…I don’t think you should be here right now—”

“I’m not going to tell you again.” He didn’t waver, and instead, his eyes softened.

You didn’t move, squeezing your eyes as you felt your breath shake this time. You moved closer to him, his lingering desperation transforming into a volatile breach of your boundaries. If you could even recall having any with him at this point.

You quietly sat there in front of him, his body lying there almost still and you remained on the floor. The letters rested on the floor that you flinched at seeing again. He kept them with him, but you hid away the reminders he gave you. A phantom of adoration you shared tucked inside one of the boxes in your storage, the guilt all arose again as you stared deeper into his eyes.

He was the delicate one you always fawned over, doubling over on yourself whenever you saw him. You wondered how it was possible for things to get this screwed up for you. You didn’t want to fight him anymore, you didn’t want to even be on a thin rope with him. Your chest heaved softly, your throat full as you fought your tears, but they fell immediately as a raindrop on glass. Your dam broke, resolve being shattered while your sobs presented itself in uneven gasps.

Kuni didn’t smile at your sobbing this time, though, his hand missing the mark a few times trying to touch your cheek. He grazed your cheek gently, the cool and dark metal band on his middle touching your skin. “Did you mean what you said in those letters?”

You knew what he wanted from you. He wasn’t asking for help, nor forgiveness, but to bear the same distance again. You were heartbroken. “We shouldn't talk about that…”

“Then, admit you did write them, and I’ll leave it alone.” He lulled, tilting his head back a little.

“I did.” You proclaimed weakly. “I said I would be there for you. You were suffering for longer than I have, and a few years later I hear you’re doing amazing for yourself and I was given that opportunity to reconnect without actually facing it. I wanted to take it…I meant every word I said to you in those letters. And I’m sorry.”

“I was suffering for longer?” He repeated, quietly processing before scoffing and retracting his hand back. “My family’s still alive. You sat in here for years, letting everyone’s dust collect, in silence waiting for them to come back. You came back home after everything. You couldn’t do anything else but that, all you had were those two evil witches.”

Your lip trembled, the corners of your mouth pulling down while you put your face in your hands. A storm built behind your eyes. “And you.” You sobbed, “You meant so much to me.”

His eyes narrowed slowly, something indescribable crossing his expression. He watched you unravel, not exactly comfortable with shrugging it off, but unsure to confront you about it. “Yeah,” His voice came out groggy. “That’s the sad part.”

“You can’t say that to me,” More tears spilled over you. “You’re not a bad person for wanting what I got, it’s me for taking advantage of it.”

“You were never a bad person, (Y/N).” He sighed, his body screaming at him to turn away from you. Watching you cry was seething, but with that frustration bleeding him dry, it was obvious he was tired of pleading with you through hostile speech. “Sleep easier at night knowing that.”

“Then why did you leave me?” You choked out, wiping your face with your shaky hands. “Why did you shut me out so bad? I needed you, too.”

His eyes grew heavier, feeling an eventual loss of his former alertness. Even if it wasn’t the same home with the once two other people who lived here, he still could smell the same smells of the past he kept at the back of his mind. “You didn’t even have yourself, what did you need me for?”

And he was right. The amount of energy you put in everything around was indicator of that. Paying attention to how everything else was so you kept the quality of what you put together solid, and then giving little to no effort in finding a life away from finding your brother was practically nonexistent. You were the one person you didn’t love, while loving everyone else with open arms.

You lowered your head to the letters he dropped on the floor again, feeling your heart sink again. “I’m sorry, Zushi,” You wailed. “I’m really sorry.”

Your tears were hot and relentless, to which he couldn’t stand the sight of anymore. He reached his hand to the back of your head and pulled you down to his chest, an awkward gesture of his own comfort, but he stayed with you like this. The swirling of his vision slowly fading as he fought sleep.

“We can’t try again.” He bit out, through struggling resilience. “I promised myself back then, if I ever were to do this to you, that it will be the last chance I have. You need to move on, and I'm sorry that...I have to be the one to tell you that.”

"...Were you just forcing yourself that entire time to love me, then?" You whispered to him between snivels, your voice hardly even heard. The tears clung to your lashed, trembling there for a moment before leaving damp tracks on your skin.

"Don't delude yourself," He sighed, losing the battle with staying awake. "You were the only one I could love."

His voice faded, his eyes struggling to stay open, but the position he was in when he pushed your head down remained. You didn’t have the heart to wake him up, so you sat there all night, your head against his chest while your tears ran down endlessly, giving yourself quiet and abrupt chances to breathe. His truth pierced you like daggers, but you may have been too optimistic.

You didn’t know how you ended up sleeping in that position for so long, but by the next day, he was gone. Checking the time, it was seven in the morning. He left in the middle of the night.

previous ☆ masterlist ☆ next

THERE ARE not many things that can sway your interest ever since the "incident", but in spite of that, you pushed forward. you are now the owner of the biggest bakery chain in your city, consistently seeing couples and catering to them as such. you've been a big host at weddings, events for celebrities, and even a big support for your friends and family. you've even earned yourself a niche following as well by how sweet you are to everybody around you. but, even with your kindness, you don't have a particular spark that keeps you going anymore these days. that is until one of your employees starts suggesting you write love letters to customers who request your services. at first you thought it was a horrible idea that could easily turn into trouble, but that was until you were tasked with writing one to your own (very very famous) ex-boyfriend.

taglist ☆ — @seternic @chemiru @coquettemaiden @1kio0o @emiixuu

@agaygothicmushroom @yomishen @jingyuan-wife-real @toruscorpse @whoooismkeee

@sketcheeee @st4r4ngel @xionri @scaradooche @lightyagamifan

@pwushizz @alatusorrow @eutopiastar @magica-ren @slu7

@vaxmpi @theyluvkatt @kyon-cherri @suzydarling @mimi3lover

@auroratumbles @heusalettle @yourfavoritefreakyhan @kunimylovee

@czerwka @little-honey-the-third @featuredtofu @simonisferal @peachystea

@liuaneee @skyoverkill1 @mellowberrie @lalalaloveallmydays @mostlymoth

@mtndewbajablasted @vernith @lovekeychains @danhenglovebot @elizshade

@balladeersflower @kazumiku @bananasquash @neversore @yevurin

@franaby @vicslz @kamiboo @thegalaxyisunfolding @morgyyyyyyy

@feikyuu @tamikahoshiko @kissingkzuha @bbysatoruuu @rvoulte

@kinvasions @kukikoooo @adriannauodi @pumpkincitrus @usagiarchive

@eunseok-s @state-of-grac3 @ariesloves @trulyylee @lyzeivr

@suniika @animeobsessed56 @kamisstufff @samyayaya @scarawiki

@mywillt0live @lxkeeeee @sundays-prince @imnotyizhuo @js-a-silly-little-guy

@dontmindtheevie @mywillt0live

#zoropookie #sweet melody #genshin #genshin smau

194 notes · View notes