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wednesday night mood

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So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

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callout posts in 2014: this user is sending mean messages to people! please be warned!

callout posts in 2015: this user is stealing bones from cemeteries for witch rituals!

callout posts in 2016: this user Actually A Nazi

callout posts in 2017: this user watches an anime I don’t like

callout posts in 2018: i went through this user’s youtube like history and found a video from JonTron that they liked in 2012, proving that they’re a bad person

callout posts in 2019: this user plays E-Rated Video Games, which are meant for children, which seems pretty sus to me idk :/

callout posts in 2020: this user stole 5 gallons of purified water from the New DC Resistance Camp and was last seen headed towards Sunken Brooklyn

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the mental damage i felt when my little sister pulled out her phone and showed me an ao3 page

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ms paint study from 2021

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if your necromancer is digging that is NOT cute. they only exhume bodies when they're extremely stressed. a proper well-enriched necromancer is provided with enemies to kill and reanimate on a regular basis and will make their enemies claw out their own graves as a play behavior.

alternatively you might have a mad scientist that was sold as a necromancer. this is sadly very common but the two breeds actually have very different habitat requirements

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Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

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growing up as an imaginative single child, I loved to play with Barbies. I loved creating elaborate drama-filled storylines for them and I could keep at it for hours. there was one problem. I had like 15 thrift store Barbies and no Kens. I only had one Barbie-sized male doll and it was a collectible Elvis Presley doll and he was my favorite doll. I always did the Elvis voice when I was playing him but he had no relation to Elvis Presley otherwise. anyway, he had some crazy days. trapped on a scary planet where he is the only man in the world and half of the women there hate him. in a massive car accident and stranded in the woods with a girlfriend who had broken her foot and a crazy ex girlfriend who had stalked them there. kidnapped by Athena (one of my Barbie sized dolls was Athena, like, the goddess) and held captive by her while trying to go home to his 7 situationships. all of this happening to a guy who looks and sounds exactly like Elvis but is otherwise the quintessential everyman.

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January 10th mcyt recap

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weewoo kitties......woah

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Misogyny.

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this is still the funniest way to start a romance in a video game possibly ever

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love how when i get a new interest, i’m like “oh god it’s happening again” and i’m stuck like that for about a week until everything explodes and any interest i’ve had prior is completely dwarfed for an unknown amount of time

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Dr. Heller inspects the skull of a victim of the 1806 Mycelium infections, an epidemic that decimated a village in the south of France. The fungus grew into the bone, creating ossified structures that broke out of the skin to spread spores.