misspieckfinger

[misspieckfinger]

Lol, Galadriel “meh close enough, mission accomplished”

Sauron *falls in love*

I know it's largely admitted that Galadriel came up with the idea that Halbrand was the lost king of the Southlands because it served her political agenda, and that much is true : she would have never obtained Miriel's consent to go free the Southlands without him, clearly.

But I also like to headcanon that she needed an objective explanation for the intense attraction she felt towards Halbrand. What happened here :

She didn't expect it all. At all. And I'm not talking about the fact that he shamelessly firted with her; Galadriel's one of the most beautiful, if not the most beautiful she-Elf who ever existed. Saving from Celeborn, Halbrand's certainly not the only male who tried to seduce her. What she didn't expect, however, is how her body responded to his flirtatious behavior.

Galadriel has a very high opinion of herself, and why wouldn't she ? She's one of the Noldor, and a princess even, since her father become High-King of the Noldor in Aman. She's also the Commander of the Northen-Armies. It was certainly not in her bingo cards that a "low man" would increase her heart rate and cause her to breathe heavily (yes she did, proved by Amazon's subtitles ! We thank them for their service). It must have been sooooo confusing to her.

I'm sure she thought at this moment that he HAD to be more than what he seemed. I mean, c'mon, no way a lady like her would be attracted to... to some peasant ! And a peasant who didn't come close to a shower for weeks and was dressed in rags, that is. The man was scruffy dirty and probably stinking from days spent on the sea, and he still made her feel that way ?!

Halbrand at least had to be a king... There was no other possible explanation.

'Turned out that he was in fact a demigod. It could explain much.

[misspieckfinger]

Not a Mairon, just a Marinara now.

About Sauron from episode 1 season 2:

Sauron was almost a god, but became nothing. Absolutely and literally nothing.

His spirit was reduced to a pool of blood. Nothing more.

It must be remembered that Sauron is conscious all the time. He also retained his memory. (As Halbrand, he remembers perfectly well and knows who is responsible for his suffering - Adar and the orcs.) It was emphasized several times that Sauron never sleeps. He is always awake. So he cannot rest, not even for a moment.

Dear ones, try to imagine this...

Everything goes dark. You see nothing. You hear nothing. You cannot move. (Your spirit is too weak.) You cannot touch anything. There is no one and nothing around.

And so for several thousand years.

(Notice how much the stalagmites in the cave grew before Sauron managed to move at all - in the form of liquid goo.)

And yet you remain conscious. All you can do is exist. Wait. Watch.

And since you are conscious, you still have a mind (even though without a body), your memory is preserved, so you can also think. Probably feel emotions.

What thoughts can you have, what emotions can you feel in such conditions?

What? Not joy or peace.

It must be unimaginable fear, lack of hope. A sense of injustice. Anger at the whole world and everything that exists. You are aware that no one will ever find you here. No one will help. And because your spirit, your consciousness is eternal... You can remain like this, in this form; until the end of Arda's existence.

I am certain that for these 3 thousand years Sauron begged Eru, his father, for death. An infinite number of times. Death did not come.

And Adar wanted to scare him with suffering, "that he would beg for death?" Man, please...

Galadriel, who was panting for him in the forge about suffering? Does she want to bid for it? With HIM? After what he went through? 'What do you know about darkness?'

That old man on the ship who wants to be nice and asks, "Oh my, do you have nightmares"?

Grandpa, you've lived for about 70 years, and you don't have even a shadow of an idea of ​​the nightmare, that befell the creature you're asking that question. It touches wounds deeper than the abyss.

Of course, he doesn't know it, but...well.

How could someone like Sauron cope so easily, so easily turn to the light, when all he's experienced for 3,000 years is impenetrable darkness, in every possible sense? Impossible.

[misspieckfinger]

Want to Netflix & meat balls?

i'm sorry for this really stupid D-tier meme i made but i just couldn't get blobron out of my head today

[misspieckfinger]

Can we discuss Elrond making out with his own mother in law now?

[misspieckfinger]

Girl imma show you my noodles 🍝

Look at me.

Bonus+

[misspieckfinger]

Them pasta arms, babygirl 🥵

Essential requirements to be part of Haladriel nation:

1. Love Sauron in all his possible forms (yes, the worm and the eye too)

2. Wanting to fuck Sauron desperately and getting horny just watching him.

3. You wish with all your might that he was with Galadriel.

4. Fantasizing about Sauron and Galadriel having wild sex.

5. Enjoy watching Galadriel defeat Sauron.

6. Loving Charlie Vickers and Morfydd Clark ❤️

7. Supports the Celebrian's Half Maiar theory.

8. Ignore the warning signs 🚩🚩🚩

9. Consume Haladriel fanfics of all kinds on Ao3 and share the beautiful works of the fandom.

10. Calling Celeborn by his Quenya name "Teleporno" to make fun of him.

Do we agree?

[misspieckfinger]

His majesty, aspiring god king of middle earth. Our noodly fallen angel of order & efficiency.

Lol, Sauron go blop.

✨ The Dark Lord ✨

[misspieckfinger]

Loooove meeeee!!!

Charlie wasn't blinking during these scenes, that's why his eyes look glossy and inhuman, but also really emotional? He's like: finally, my love, my lady, my Galadriel, come with me (to me, be mine and I'm yours, here are the wedding rin...*shotgun*) *coughs*

He's like, my silly girl, finally you understood 🥹 Let's go home 🥹 in like, a millisecond lol

Charlie Vickers, I blame you for everything!!!!

[misspieckfinger]

People screaming, buildings crumbling, the Horny Barbie:

He thinks he did good.

[misspieckfinger]

Literally the demonic overlord of evil for half his screen time is just literal Puss in Boots. Why is this his default strategy?

Puppy eyes mode: Activated! The victim has no chance.

[misspieckfinger]

That’s an absolute death brawl in two seconds flat. Happy shipping.

Saubrimbor living together headcanons!!

Part 1/? because they have too much chemistry to fit it all in one post, hehehe

🧹Cleaning!🧹

Celebrimbor is messy like his galloping mind. In the smithy he couldn't be bothered with putting instruments back to their places, but he'd always get grumpy if he needs something and can't find it, so over the ages the smiths developed a habit of looking after their master not only professionally, but from the point of organisation as well (Celebrimbor is also stubborn, so everyone has just accepted as a fact that - no, he wouldn't put away his things himself). For those who have been working with him for a long time this has become a part of lifestyle, something that's done automatically and absent-mindedly, but in case of Sauron - oooh, this made his eye twitch even before his grand transformation. As a part of his very nature he desired the world to get neat and organized, even if that's a small bit at a time, and the way that Celebrimbor wouldn't even consider keeping his space in order immediately got on his nerves.

Sauron would later often think to himself that he might have tried to compose a sugary speech with hidden scolding, were he in his "Annatar" form from the beginning, however working with Celebrimbor for a little while he invented a passive-aggressive way of fighting this, that was easily doable even by "Halbrand": when any of the smiths would've silently pick up some discarded tool and bring it back to its designated spot, he'd take it and stuff somewhere new. At first this was just somewhere inside of the smithy, so that it wouldn't be suspicious, but as he never got any repercussions this little mischief of his gradually got bolder: other day a pair of scissors would find their way into a flowerpot or fireproof pliers get hight into a chandelier in the dining room, and each time Celebrimbor's reaction was so extremely emotional that Sauron kept doing this even after he came back. The smiths have figured this out at some point, but their master's anger on this matter was, in fact, hilarious and quite entertaining, so Celebrimbor had never found out what was going on.

[misspieckfinger]

They’re petting Sauron because he finally shut up.

He's going to go back to the old haunts he went to with Galadriel and reminisce about their dates and constant flirting 🫦

Sauron: this is the exact spot where Galadriel looked at me, this spot is where I was in jail with her, over here is where she touched my arm..

The Númenorians will beg for the wave to drown them

[misspieckfinger]

One handsome little purrito.

My little angel

[misspieckfinger]

Look what I made mom! It’s death & terror! 🥰

Meanwhile Lucrecia's "Sweet Little Boy"...

[misspieckfinger]

No he’s in bdsm gear talking to a decapitated alien skull like it’s his mom because everything has been smooth sailing. Obvi.

If anyone knows who made this meme, could you tell me so I can credit them? Because damn...

Source @AServantofGod12 on Twitter. Thanks, @rosy-crow!

[misspieckfinger]

In a cardboard box there’s a kitty man.

this is a genesis slander post

[misspieckfinger]

Unfortunately so are his pants, get dressed, bud.

I guess it's all in your head.