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Mama abah my body ache alot. I barely stands, my head feels like it wanted to burst. I just want you guys to be here. To take care of me till sleep. I barely stand straight, my legs is shaking 😔

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Kawan

Pernah tak korang rasa kena betrayed? kena tikam belakang? kena tipu? yes i did felt all that even pernah kena maki with a person that i loved. Basically that’s life challenge, i mean one of those. Today i’m gonna write something about my friends that i used to rapat but now acted strangers. First of all,Najwa. She’s a kind hearted person but she’s no longer i trust. She’s weird sumpah pelik. Now i’m with afiq and hafizzul having crisis about to who should i trust in terms of telling me some sort of weird stories. But i’ll just let go. I don’t want things to be different, that may affect their relationship. Now i take steps back from her because i feel that she’s one of a kind. Aku rasa macam bertalam.Second Asma’ she’s years older than same. same age with najwa, perangai dia ni pelik sikit cakap tak serupa bikin. Kalau tak suka someone tu dia take a step back and ignore that person. Third afiq, Afiq lah kawan yang aku percaya tapi he’s the one yang maki aku. aku tahu sekarang ni pun dia baik sebab aku je yang boleh bawwa dia pergi berjalan sebab dia tak bawa kereta. and last one hafizzul, he’s the guy i trusted the most tapi dia selalu cerita buruk tentang aku dekat kawankawan dia and even his family untill they hates me hahahaha my bad. Aku mengaku memang aku jahat. Budak sekolah convent takkan pernah berkawan dengan budak sekolah agama. dia macam benci gila dekat aku sekarang babe and idk why. hmm nah its okay... But i should thanked them for everything. they taught me to be wiser. tipulah kalau satu hari tu kalau terserempak dengan diorang rasa macam nak jerit je “aku rindu kau!!!” and hug them. But situastions has changed. Aku kena jarakkan diri. cgpa aku merundum jatuh. cukuplah for the frist three semester i’ve been with them. Aku taknak dah lagi. Rindu masa sewa kereta sama-sama but ya as i said. Tapi satu jela aku tak suka bila wawa masuk campur dalam hal aku afiq semua. as if dia yang bersalah tapi yang dalam masalahnya sekarang ni aku. and hafizzul pula acted innocent, macam dia nak salahkan afiq hahahaha my frienship is complicated as hell. aku tak tahulah but what the best was aku buat diri aku and aku malas nak masuk campur. They even not ask me about my health conditions ke apa.. hahahahaha as if aku ni macam tak ada siapa kenal. But i know this world has kiffarah Allah swt and pretty sure that they will be in terms of what i’ve been through now. Aku sentiasa doakan friendship diorang last longer and always in Allah’s guardians allahuma aminn :)

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kai for crea magazine - making movie

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EXO_전야 (前夜) (The Eve)_Dance Practice ver.

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So my life as penganggur berjaya starts today. Nothing much as job at the office but i have to admit staying at home being a person who is care-free is absolutely fun. Hahaha so i skipped my excercise today, now heading to hospital for weekly checkup. I hope the response are good. I feel so much better today even better than i used to be. What can i say that, i’m enjoying this current life. stress free and all. Malaslah nak fikir yang penting aku sayang ketat-ketat dengan orang sekeliling aku. Because choosing someone isn’t a choice but a decision that we’ve made. and i’ve made mine. May Allah ease. And so far i’m planning to take both of my parents and ain to Pulau Pangkor, fav place abah. Still making out decision what hotel should i choose maybe hmmm maybe sri anjugan resort. So this third week of august the holiday plan starts. I have around 2 weeks to really arranged their schedules plus mine. Lots of love tumblr bubyeeee

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Life

Basically its all happen all of sudden. I was despair in life back these few days. I find that literally its so hard for me to cope with sadness, so i found you my tumblr . The site where i expressed of my feelings. Oh Allah my hair is getting little these days, i know this is one of my life trial . So hard for me to express, i saw my parents struggling in giving me ways on how to cope with my health conditons . Oh Allah i found breathing difficulties and its getting worse day by day. I was a healthy person back few years, but i know this is one of my life trials. Oh Allah i’m so happy that afiq is back to normal. Like what we used to be but again another story that would breakup our friendship . What should i do? its so hard to cope . I don’t know wether hafizzul or afiq is telling the truth. But tbh i sincerely not my concern anymore. If this thing is true that i can’t give any good expression towards his family and if it’s not true than good for me . Oh Allah i sometimes misses them alot but nothing i can do. I love them so much but i know the best way to do is to stay away from them . So that they could have a good friendship. But do they really my friend? When i was admitted in the hospitals for weeks, they are not there.. Allah its hurt i was waiting for them . To see their face everytime i woke up from sleep but they are not there for me, besides me. I know the game has changed. Allah you’ve given me a chance to be a better person. You met me all wonderful people in life, who are really concerned about me. So i shall put everything in an end. I can’t be a part from them. I’ve tried but i can’t. I’m not as healthy as i used to. Kekadang aku tanya pada hati apa yang aku buat, aku terima Ya Allah semuanya. Aku nampak kawan aku hafizzul ajak aku dengan ayat yang kasar, aku terima . I used to treat him like that. Aku rindu semuanya tapi tak mungkin aku akan biasa dengan semua tu. 4 months of being myself. Macam mana aku nak kenal tuhan kalau aku tak kenal diri aku. Oh Allah i embrace your strength as again i fall to the rock bottom. I embrace your strength as what has been facing now is only my difficulties. Buang lah rasa rindu ini Ya Allah sekiranya mereka tak merasakan benda yang sama . Aku redha. Before i left i shall put everything as it’s. As they used to be. Biarlah aku undurkan diri. Aku tahu kalau aku besarkan hal ini, it does not put an end to it but its even make it worst. They deserve happiness. Cukuplah aku ada kawan-kawan sekarang. Aku gembira  

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Family

Dear tumblr. Sometimes we are not getting any appreciations from family but the outsiders gave it to us. How was that? How miserable my life are currently. I just know the truth behind all the lies from my ex boyfriend through my friend. Well obviously tumblr, i rarely trust them like whole heartedly. But you know once you've know the truth you just have to remind yourself that they are very rimas whenever you're around hahahahha. I'll keep my distance don't worry tumblr i won't be the same as i used to it. But now how can i pay back everything that he gave me? This shitting time won't give me some space even to breathh!!! Ughh couldn't wait for august.i shall be freed!!! Hahahahhaha bubye my timber tumblr 🌸

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THE WAR - KOKOBOP

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Allah

You've given me ways, ways on how to dwell with everything. O'Allah i've tried my best but tonight after knowing the truth, its hurt. O'Allah i've given you all of me. I put my trust on you. You've shown me the greatest things that would not happen if you shown me. Thank you O'Allah. O'Allah remind me of my worth whenever i feel down. Give me strength. O'Allah you've shown me that he is not meant for me. For now i shall stop everything. Everything... give me strength ya Allah

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full open ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ do not edit

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[170715] smtown in osaka day 1 - monster

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EXO Comeback Teaser: The War Ko Ko Bop. #EXO is coming.

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kyungporn 102/?

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THE WAR: Ko Ko Bop #SEHUN

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Paranoid

Tonight i have the strength to say that i super duper hate science. Abah and mama seems surprise with what i've said. But everything that i went through currently, the semester, life decisions is all made by my parents. Imagine one day i succeed with science field but waking up everyday without passion and you have to work till you die. When we see from the situations, isn't it fair for me? Why? Why ain has the decision to choose. And why my life is arranged by you both. I respect every decision as people said "orang tua lebih faham,makan garam lebih. Dah tahu tentang kehidupan" but my future is Allah's secrets. Ughh every one is living with their passion, along , angah , ain and alang. Please..understand me😔

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x ɪ ɪ