missnakehole

[missnakehole]

Sometimes I just get so sad and randomly start to cry because I think about all the parts of your life I'm removed from. I'm not really there for any of the real shit. It's not like you can sit on the phone with me. Like of course she was with you so you couldn't talk to me since you said he was in and out of it. Like if I was truly your women you would have leaned on me for support during that but you had your wife. She gets to be there for you when it matters. Do you hug? Or kiss? Do you tell her you love her? Does she tell you she loves you? I'm just the side piece. And I'll never be important

[missnakehole]

You're not specific at all. I feel like the conversations relieve the pressure I feel about the situation but you don't actually say anything. Just that it's hard and complicated and you have drifted apart. And you ignore when I talk again feeling like a side piece or a mistress and why you won't even tell her that you don't love her anymore. I feel like I'm just being an idiot and once again I'm allowing myself to be stuck in a shitty doomed relationship but he's so caring and makes me feel so good, I don't cry over you because you're hurting me, just that you won't leave your stupid wife. I just wish what ever her health issues would fucking kill her and that's awful but then he could just be sad about the loss but we could be together. I want to be your wife. I want to be spouses with someone. Like you always make time for me. I feel like it would be hard to talk every night if you were spending time together. I want to ask if you sleep in the same bed but I don't want to know. Because if you do, I feel like you kiss her and maybe other stuff and I want you to be all mine. And she has a legal claim to you. I'm the snake in the grass. I'm a bad person. Sometimes I fantasize about telling her myself but I worry that you would nuke my life back, you could send my coworkers or idk other people pictures or messages I've sent that would make me need to move or kill myself. But I still wonder why she made her Instagram private right after I mentioned it to him. Like what does that mean and what did you want to hide? I want to meet people in your life, I want to meet your dad, and Joe, and other friends and family. I want to get introduced as your girlfriend and have you be proud to show me off to other people you care about. I want to be able to say, oh I was talking to my boyfriend. We've been together for 2 years and no one knows about you. Like 2 people and I don't like talking about you because I know people will think I'm a bad person for dating a married man. You said you were divorced. I would have kept my distance. I would have avoided falling in love with you. It's not fair. I suppose that's a lie, I said don't lie to me and that's basically the first thing you said to me. It was a lie and that message about how you've been a bad person and you never talk about that and you seem so loving and kind and I don't know who that bad man is so are you hiding your maliciousness? I just want someone to pick me and want to fight for me and try to keep me. I want someone to cling to me and feel like I'm the one they want to make sure doesn't get away. But once I leave someone's life, no one wants to keep up with me.

[missnakehole]

[missnakehole]

[missnakehole]

I wish the account wasn't private. I know it's basically self harm to look at it but I want to know what's going on. Why was it privated? Did he say something? He's never going to get divorced. It feels like you don't even want to. "It's scary". You said you wanted that. You told me right away you were divorced. But you lied and you're never going to leave her. You're not happy. You say you're depressed and unhappy. You could get your own insurance. You could tell her you want a divorce. Tell her about me. Tell her you're in love with someone else and you want a divorce. You and her family are so connected. How would I even fit in?? It's never going to happen. So what am I doing? I love you. I want to go to bed every night next to you. I want to wake up next to you. I want to be there when you get home from work. I want to cook you food and take care of you and fuck you and have you love me forever and ever. Why do I only love the wrong people? He's so amazing thou. He adjusts his behavior based on what I say. I don't have to beg. I can talk about my feelings. We have similar interests. We click. We want the same things sexually. I just want to be his little girl and be safe and loved and together forever. And I'm ready. I would move there if you asked. I hate it here. I would work something out with my dad. Idk. I'd keep doing long distance especially if you were mine. Legally you're someone else's. I hate her. I wish she would leave or die. I know you don't like when I say that. I know you don't hate her. But then if she was gone we could be together. I just want you. I want to have a real life together. I want to say "I was talking to my boyfriend" I want to say "me and my boyfriend did X" I want to tell people I'm in love. I want people to feel like this is serious and real. Because it's so real to me. So real. And I don't care what anyone thinks. I love you and I want you and I want to be together and I need you to let that happen. I know you still live together. Do you still sleep in the same bed? I have so many questions that I want need the answer to and that I also don't want to know. I just want you to leave her. I don't think you will. I didn't think I'd see you ever either. But I did. But I think that's only because you had a few days where she wasn't there. This is the one thing you lie about. I believe you're honest about pretty much everything else. I wish we could actually talk about it and me not cry and you not shit down. But it just hurts so much. It makes me want to scream and cry and hurt myself when I think about her touching you. I don't want to be the other women. I don't want to just be an affair. I want to be your wife. Ya that's what I want. I want to be a wife. I want you. I love you.

[missnakehole]

[missnakehole]

I can't even really say I'm suicidal I just wish I wasn't a person anymore. I just want to lay someplace safe a quiet. I just want someone to love me.

[missnakehole]

I wish I was dead

[missnakehole]

I'm sad and I don't wanna be sad anymore. I wish I was beautiful

[missnakehole]

I'm so lonely and tired

I don't feel good

[missnakehole]

1. Stream a movie together

2. See him

I can get tickets and hotel stay for under $1500.

It's just me who's motivated.

Why is the account private now?

What am I not supposed to be seeing?

You want to keep something from me

Maybe she knows he has his side shit.

[missnakehole]

I want someone to love me. I want someone to love me. I want someone to love me. I want someone to love me. I want someone to love me. I want someone to love me. I want someone to love.

[missnakehole]

I want my mom I'm so overwhelmed. I can't do all of this I can't. I don't know how I'm going to keep up with everything. I don't know how. I can't do it. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm such a retard.

[missnakehole]

Please please please please let me be a part of your life. I love you and I want to tell you all the time.

[missnakehole]

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

[missnakehole]

[missnakehole]

quitmell