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missingcl3xa · 1 year ago

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18. circus au + 64. star crossed lovers

Slow and low on a tightrope

The lions are sleeping when the girl stumbles into the tent.

It's late. Late enough Lexa's bones are aching, her hands trembling uncontrollably after hours upon days upon weeks of brandishing heavy whips. She's supposed to be cleaning and packing but instead she's dozing off where she leans against Roan's cage. The lion is curled up next to her, steady snores lulling Lexa deeper into slumber— until a deep growl disturbs the peace.

Lexa jolts awake, and her eyes open to immediately focus on someone slipping into the tent. It's a little girl with a fancy dress Lexa could never dream to afford, and golden hair that catches the low light.

The girl notices her at once, and freezes where she'd slipped in through the slit in the tent. Her eyes are bright, and widen when she registers Lexa staring at her.

"Hi," she whispers, cut off abruptly when Roan growls again. Her eyes grow even wider.

"Shh," Lexa tells the lion, reaching through the bars to pat his head and rub an ear. The girl watches, lips parted in awe.

Lexa recognizes this girl from the show. She'd sat in the front row, laughed hard at the clowns, clapped hard for the trapeze fliers, and gasped for the fire-jugglers. She'd looked starstruck when the lions jumped through rings of fire. Lexa had been so preoccupied with the girl's reactions that she'd almost missed her cue. Anya noticed, of course. She'd cuffed the back of Lexa's head the moment the act was over and they left the tent, and snapped out a reminder that one momentary lapse of attention could result in an injury to a lion, bite from a lion, or worse, a customer getting attacked.

Lexa didn't argue that she'd grown up with these lions and trusted them more than she trusted herself. Anya wouldn't hear it anyway. She only let Lexa be her second grudgingly; Anya was sixteen and Lexa was nine, and Anya insisted Lexa was too young to be training with them, but Becca allowed it. She had a soft spot for the lions herself.

"I like your lions," the little girl says, daring to take a step closer. "Could I— could I pet one?"

"You better not," Lexa says after considering it. "They don't know you."

Another step closer. "You could introduce us."

"I don't know you, either."

The girl just stood a few feet away now, her eyes shifting from the lions to Lexa, darting back and forth.

"I'm Clarke."

The girl looks expectantly at her. Lexa continues to just stand next to the cage, her arms uselessly hanging at her sides, her palms sweaty. She doesn't know why she feels like she's being cornered, somehow. But the girl is standing hardly a foot away, and Roan is sitting up, now, amber eyes keenly watching the interaction.

"I'm Lexa." Lexa swallows, confused by the lurch of her stomach when Clarke's lips curve in a bright smile. She blinks when Clarke offers a hand. Discreetly wipes her hand on her pants, hoping it cleans it of dirt and sweat before grasping Clarke's hand.

Clarke shakes it and then continues to hold it. Lexa looks at her with wide eyes.

"I thought your show was really good," Clarke says shyly.

They both blush. Clarke drops her hand, and Lexa clenches and unclenches it at her side a few times.

"Thanks," she finally manages.

"This is my first time ever at the circus."

"Really?" Lexa says curiously. She's been here for as long as she can remember. She can't imagine any other life. Emori— a girl a few years older than her, who joined their troupe just last year— said that normal life was really boring. "What do you do all day then?"

"School," Clarke smiles at her like the idea of anything else is silly.

"I know what school is," Lexa says quickly. "I get homeschooled here. I know math and everything."

Clarke just looks at her and smiles like Lexa is the most interesting thing in the world. Considering Lexa's standing next to a humongous lion, she can't help but to preen a little at that.

"Does your mother and father do circus stuff too?"

Lexa stills; Clarke notices, and the smile fades from her face. Lexa doesn't want it to. She likes her smile.

"I don't have parents," she says honestly. "I did have a mother when I was a baby, but she— she gave me to the circus."

Clarke's brows jump to her hairline. "She gave you to the circus?"

Lexa swallows around the lump that's suddenly in her throat. She shuffles back to put some distance between them, sitting back on the table next to the cage and hoping Clarke didn't notice her clumsily almost trip over her feet as she did so. But Clarke doesn't seem to get the hint, and only gives the lion a cursory glance before determinedly stepping toward Lexa.

"Do you think the circus would take me if my parents gave me?" she asks.

Lexa stares at her. Oh. So Clarke didn't think it was odd. She…

"You want to join the circus?" Saying the words aloud puts a strange flood of excitement in Lexa. She likes the idea of this girl being around. She's interesting. Lexa likes how blue her eyes are and the freckle above her lip. She likes that she doesn't look scared to stand near the lions, and that she wasn't afraid to sneak in here in the first place.

"Yes," Clarke says, zero hesitation and all enthusiasm.

A smile grows on Lexa's face, starting out crooked. "Everyone in the circus has a job," she says seriously. "So you gotta do something. What can you do?"

"I can draw really good," Clarke's head rises high, her shoulders back, confident. But Lexa wrinkles her nose.

"We already have good drawers here," she says apologetically. There were a few people that painted all the carts and signs; they didn't need anyone else. "What else can you do?"

Clarke chews on her bottom lip, eyes darting around as she thinks. "Um…I get good grades?"

"That wouldn't really be an act though," Lexa points out. "Anything else?"

Clarke lapses into silence, eyes downcast and brow furrowed, appearing troubled for the first time. Lexa bites her own lip, trying to think for her.

"Can you ride a unicycle?" she prompts. Clarke shakes her head. "Can you throw knives?"

"I could throw them," Clarke says hesitatingly, "But probably not very good."

"Can you swallow swords?"

"Definitely not. I can barely swallow broccoli." She exchanges a small smile with Lexa.

"Hmm. Can you swing on the trapeze?"

"I don't know how."

"Could you spin plates up on tall sticks?"

"Um, no, I'd probably drop them."

"Are you a contortionist?"

Clarke opens her mouth, and then frowns. "What's that?"

"It's," Lexa tries to bend her body to show her. "The people that can kinda fold themselves up in different ways. Like Roma. She can shoot a bow and arrow with her feet."

Frowning, Clarke takes a step back and drops to the floor. Lexa watches with raised brows as Clarke lays on her stomach and then tries to lift her legs; Clarke huffs, face screwed up as she tries to fold herself over. She slaps back down and huffs again, red-faced as she glances up at Lexa and sees her trying not to laugh. But rather than get mad, like Lexa worried for a split second, Clarke grins.

"That's a no," Clarke says good-naturedly.

"What about…" Lexa's scans the dim tent; she spots some bottles on the table near the lioness, Luna. She hops down and walks across the room to grab them, and carries them over to the table near Clarke. "What about juggling?"

Clarke stands and dusts her knees off; she doesn't seem particularly bothered that her nice white dress is now dirty from the floor. She grabs two bottles. Lexa sits back down on the table and watches as Clarke tosses the bottles in the air. She catches them all right, but when she tries to add a third bottle, her eyes grow wide and she scrambles, only just managing to catch them all before they could fall. She looks at Lexa, and Lexa looks back just as startled. Then they collapse in giggles.

"Can you do it?" Clarke asks her.

Lexa slides off the table to stand beside Clarke. Titus tried to teach her, once, but she could only juggle three wool balls. These are large bottles, but surprisingly, she manages to do it, and her heart pounds when Clarke starts cheering and clapping. Lexa catches all three bottles and bows, making Clarke laughs— and Lexa's heart just beats harder.

They play for a while together, Lexa trying to teach Clarke how to juggle and Clarke not being particularly great at it. Eventually they both try to be contortionists again, and laugh hard when they bang heads together. The lions sit quietly in their cages, watching them like it's their entertainment for the evening.

Later, after Lexa had pulled one of the leashes across the floor and they were giggling madly because Clarke found it difficult to even walk in a straight line on a flat surface, all the fun comes screeching to a halt when Anya arrives.

She freezes when she sees them, both on the floor in a heap and laughing after bumping into each other pretending to do tricks on a nonexistent tightrope. Lexa sobers at once under her glare.

"What are you doing?" Anya demands, marching over and hauling Lexa up by an arm. "It's not safe for her to be in here!"

"We didn't get close to the cages," Lexa begins, but Clarke speaks over her as she scrambles to her feet.

"It's not Lexa's fault, I came in here myself. I just wanted to see what was in here."

Anya crosses her arms under her chest, giving Clarke a withering look. "Do you see now?" she says sarcastically, nodding toward the nearest cage. "Dangerous beasts that could tear your face off with one swipe of their claws."

As if on purpose, Roan gives a yawn so huge his mane shivers, canines glinting in the light. Anya raises a brow at Clarke, as if to say, "see?"

"I wasn't gonna get close to them," Clarke says firmly— a bald-faced lie, considering the very first thing she'd asked Lexa was if she could pet one.

Anya looked at Clarke like she was ready to argue that, but then she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Whatever, look. Your father's been looking all over the place for you. Come on."

Clarke deflates, shoulders sagging. But when she looks at Lexa, the smile crawls back across her face again.

"It was fun playing with you," she tells her. Her smile shifts into a cheeky grin. "Next time you come in town, I'll make sure I'm really good at something. Then maybe I can be in the circus with you!"

Anya looks a beat away from scoffing, and shoots Lexa a look that has Lexa's cheeks growing warm. She averts her gaze from Clarke's because it's too much suddenly, though she can't fight the smile worming its way onto her face even as she looks down at the floor.

"Bye, Clarke."

"Bye Lexa!"

Lexa stands motionless even after Anya leads Clarke out of the tent. There's a strange, floaty feeling inside her. She doesn't understand it. All she does know is that she can't wait to see Clarke again.