miss-petrolea

[miss-petrolea]

[miss-petrolea]

Divorce seems to radicalize american men in a way that needs to be studied

[miss-petrolea]

When I'm out in the garage working, Vice gets to tag along and hunt dust bunnies in the garage attic. I pause every so often to call him down, just to make sure he hasn't gotten into trouble.

He always has a Lot to report.

[miss-petrolea]

Decided to say fuck it to my congestion. Closed myself in the guest bathroom, blocked out all ventilation, turned my massive humidifier on full blast and ran myself the hottest bath i can stand.

This is my enclosure. I live here now. I have recreated the water cycle in a matter of minutes and can finally breathe.

[miss-petrolea]

My favourite semi-obscure muppet is Hilda the seamstress.

She only ever showed up in the first season of the show, but as someone who’s worked a lot of local theatre productions, and especially as someone who’s worked backstage on a lot of local theatre productions, Hilda is someone I know in my real life. Little old Eastern European lady cussing you out because you pulled some shit in costume and blew out a stitch and we have to fix this now

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Being a lesbian named Fisher is so hard. I'm Fish. women want me. I'm scared all the time

[miss-petrolea]

I make art about grief again

[miss-petrolea]

Värmland, Sweden (February 28, 2021).

[miss-petrolea]

shoutout to the Look tm on the face of the proprietress of the local fabric depot in response to me wandering my ass in there like "Hi! I only need a little bit of lining fabric to patch the inside of my coat. It's a little old haha I got it in 2014"

....

I have thus purchased enough fabric to replace the wholeass lining.

[miss-petrolea]

It is simply not fulfilling to enjoy media in the height of its popularity. You need to show up so late to the party that everybody else is gone and the hosts are asleep so you can rummage through their trash for chip dip and stale hors d’oeurves to eat alone in the dark like a dirty little raccoon secret

[miss-petrolea]

the full gang

[miss-petrolea]

the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

[miss-petrolea]

tw: death

Have you had any visitors lately? ❣️

[miss-petrolea]

Me: Did you know that medieval cathedrals weren't actually supposed to be dark and rundown places with only stained glass as color? They were bright places full of light... the reason they look like that now is because of the centuries of accumulated grime and dust, here look at this restoration of the Cathedral of Chartres in France:

It's based on actual paint from the times, and when you think about it, it makes a lot more sense, after all a church is supposed to be a bright place of hope. Yet when we think about the middle ages we think about grimy and dark cathedrals. I wonder how much of our conception of history is shaped by our current visions of historical buildings.

My Goth GF: listen, I don't think this thing between us is working,

[miss-petrolea]

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

[miss-petrolea]

So of the two people in the entire USA that are currently breeding Ultramarine (think, peacock with the blue cranked to 13), the one I'm not friends with has just listed up a 2024 cock for auction. It's going to be interesting to see the end price, as this will determine the 2025 price of the mutation (and its rate of decline, as last year was the first year any were available ever).

Last year the auction ended at $6,800 for one male. In a really funny (to me) twist, he sent a blue to the winner instead of an ultramarine, because despite gloating that he was able to tell and my friend wasn't, he couldn't tell the difference in yearlings, either. It'll be EXTREMELY FUNNY if he does the same fuckin' thing this year. (and he did replace the bird, so the winner got the right bird eventually, it was just. very embarrassing for the self-proclaimed leader of peafowl breeding to be so wrong after bragging so much).

If you, like me, are nosy and want to keep an eye on the auction (and the others with het birds) and see where it ends, here is a link!

For reference, this is an ultramarine feather:

And this is an ultramarine bird from my friend's stock:

But they look almost exactly the same as blues when they're babies, and only start to really look different as 2yo birds.

So, it'll be interesting to watch go down again.

There's also a listing on here for UM feathers, I believe he's selling a dropped train, but I'm not sure of the number of feathers included in the lot, so maybe ask before spending a lot.

[miss-petrolea]

NO ONE knows how to use thou/thee/thy/thine and i need to see that change if ur going to keep making “talking like a medieval peasant” jokes. /lh

They play the same roles as I/me/my/mine. In modern english, we use “you” for both the subject and the direct object/object of preposition/etc, so it’s difficult to compare “thou” to “you”.

So the trick is this: if you are trying to turn something Olde, first turn every “you” into first-person and then replace it like so:

“I” →  “thou”

“Me” →  “thee”

“My” →  “thy”

“Mine” →  “thine”

Let’s suppose we had the sentences “You have a cow. He gave it to you. It is your cow. The cow is yours”.

We could first imagine it in the first person-

“I have a cow. He gave it to me. It is my cow. The cow is mine”.

And then replace it-

“Thou hast a cow. He gave it to thee. It is thy cow. The cow is thine.”