mishtygirlcat

[mishtygirlcat]

no sentence fills me with utter loathing so much as "i asked chatgpt"

[mishtygirlcat]

Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists

[mishtygirlcat]

[mishtygirlcat]

Having a baby is literally psycho like you’ve entirely lost your mind get help

[mishtygirlcat]

not now sweetie mommy’s blogging about something that 5 people care about

[mishtygirlcat]

Being an ugly girl with a crush feels like being a sex offender

[mishtygirlcat]

[mishtygirlcat]

raoul: WHY was there a MANS VOICE in your dressing room??? HUH?? and WHY did you look so attracted to it?? HUH??

christine: ..why were you in my private dressing room with a full view of my face??

erik, watching from the full length one way mirror in the dressing room that he built: oh she got you there you perv

[mishtygirlcat]

when they think being nonchalant would get my attention but the phantom of the opera is peak romance to me…

[mishtygirlcat]

Bitches be like "if I were Christine I just would have chosen Erik" like he wasn't a murderer, stalker and kidnapper (its me I'm bitches)

[mishtygirlcat]

You know I'm gonna be honest. I don't think all these apps really need access to my precise location

[mishtygirlcat]

Staying at a somewhat shitty hotel. Can’t get on the wifi. Tell the front desk. They have no IT support so the desk guy just gives me the admin password. Tells me “that should work. It’s just you and me using it.” Imagining the two of us skipping through the world wide web holding hands

[mishtygirlcat]

I love talking nonsense with you and I hope that we can talk nonsense with each other for the rest of our lives.

[mishtygirlcat]

me being so normal when there’s only vague plans to hang out for the day and nobody is texting back with specific times or what we’re doing

[mishtygirlcat]

the sweet and humble sudoku: here’s some numbers to get you started :) please enjoy my puzzle <3

the nefarious minesweeper: why don’t you just Guess. fucking Guess.

[mishtygirlcat]

I have some very important information that I need the world to know about.

disclosing this information will get me in some huge trouble with Big Butterknife but I am shouldering that burden to get this information to you.

You can use Back of Spoon instead of Butter Knife.

it spreads peanut butter, cream cheese, jelly, and all sorts of things just as well as Butter Knife.

I hope this information finds you well. take care

[mishtygirlcat]

Some people say that there are no stupid questions, which is blatantly false. Of course there are stupid questions, and if you have one, you had better ask it, before you go and do make a stupider mistake. Stupid questions are more important than intelligent ones. I’m willing to bet more people die because of stupid mistakes than because of intelligent ones.