miscklaire

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debating if it would be funnier to have a bumper sticker saying "my other ride is a [exact make and model of the car the sticker is on]" or "my other ride is a [equally shitty but different car]"

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It's hard finding club wear when you're fat because everyone assumes you have an ass and tits. No bitch I need you to give me some shit for people built like Thwomps

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It has been way over a decade since this happened, so some details are a little blurry, but I still have to tell this story here too:

So, my dad's colleague was on a trip with their friends, who were a couple. Now, the wife of this couple was a huge U2 fan, and the highlight of this trip was going to a U2 concert. Later that night, after the concert, they went to a restaurant, and who do they see there at another table? Bono. The wife wants so badly to go and ask for an autograph, but in a typical Finnish fashion, she doesn't want to be a bother because surely Bono just wants to enjoy his night and not be surrounded by fans all the time, so she doesn't go.

Then, she notices that someone from Bono's table gets up and goes to the men's restroom, so she also gets up and goes to wait outside the men's room, until the guy comes out. She then stops him and goes excuse me, I saw that you were at the same table as Bono, would it be in any way possible that you could ask for an autograph from him for me? (because apparently it is much less mortifying to bother someone else you don't know than to bother the guy directly, I guess).

The man apparently kinda stands there for a moment, just looking at her, before he asks, sounding just a tad bit confused, if he heard her right. You want me to go and ask Bono for an autograph for you?

Yes, she says. She's being very polite about it. If you would be so kind. That would be great.

The man says yes, sure, I'll see what I can do about it.

They then part ways and go back to their own tables and continue the night, and some time later, they notice that Bono and the rest of the people who had been at that table have left.

Oh well, the wife thinks. No can do, maybe he just forgot or something or just didn't want to do it. It's okay.

They finish up their meal and ask for the bill. The waiter tells them that their meal has already been paid for, and then tells that they were left with two notes.

The waiter gives them the notes. They are both autographs. One of them says Bono.

And the other says Bruce Springsteen.

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"but the text never explicitly stated it!!!" hey, so that's actually what they tried to teach you in those english classes you barely passed 😁

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i grew up in a small rural town where there was one dentist, which i went to from around age 5 whenever my parents had the right insurance/money/time to get me there. anyway when i'm like 20 or so i started having minor issues with my wisdom teeth coming in, but not so severe that this place can't extract them.

so i go in for that and i'm sitting there in the chair and the assistant comes in looking at some paperwork and says "so you've been coming here for a while right?" and i am like "oh yeah since i was a little kid" and she replies "yeah, i thought so, there's one note on your file and it's 'patient likes dinosaurs and bugs'"

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Everyone gives Sherlock Holmes a hard time about being mean about Watson's writing, but honestly imagine you told your roommate "sure, you can write up an account of my work for the newspaper," thinking it would be like, about the murder, but then he publishes it and it's 90% about you, as a person, and it's a huge hit and now everyone in London knows that you hoard newspapers and do cocoaine when you're depressed. Because I think you'd be little miffed too.

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Preview of Basilisk, my personal favorite of my risograph comics, and the project all my other recent medieval-inspired art descends from.

Styled after medieval illuminated manuscripts and printed using a custom color palette requiring 5 risograph inks (including metallic gold), Basilisk asks the question: what would drive a teenage girl to create a monster?

Physical copies available here (also digital here). To brag for a moment--this is my masterwork of riso printing and is even more impressive in person.

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in an ideal world i would have 8 beverages with me at all times and i would just be able to pull them out of my pocket like an animal crossing character

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Misogyny.

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hey google I just don't think that's accurate

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Calusa wooden wolf mask, with ear and shoulder attachments (Key Marco, Florida, 700 – 1560 AD).  It would have been used in dance ceremonies, and was found bundled and swathed in green palmetto strips.  The features and face marks were painted in white, black and pink.

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Markiplier not partnering with Honey because he didn't understand how its business model was profitable with how much it spent on advertising demonstrates a level of thoughtfulness that seems absent in a lot of youtubers.

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just found a pile of fresh grapes on some paving stones in the middle of woods because, you guessed it, god loves me the most and wants me to prosper over others

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If there’s a piece of writing you love, that makes you wish you had the ability to do what it does, the tools you're looking for are inside the story itself. Fiction is rarely mysterious in how it works. All you have to do is pay attention with the right mindset.

What you’re looking for is cause and effect, set-up and pay off. What does that piece of dialogue set up a) within the scene and b) later in the narrative? What purpose does this moment serve for the story as a whole? Can you identify the turning points within the scene and the turning points in the larger narrative? How do they fit together? You’ll find these things tend to fall into general patterns. Don’t get distracted by focusing on character details, analysis, or speculation! Fandom tends to overemphasize character to the exclusion of everything else. You probably already know how to analyze characters, but how much time do you spend thinking about the mechanics of the narrative? If you can figure out what makes the stories you love work, you can teach yourself to do any kind of storytelling you want to.