misablr

[misablr]

[misablr]

🍑 — masterlist

BY TYPE

headcanons 🥀 

blurbs/drabbles 🍑 

fics ✨

texts 📱

BY EVENT

1k followers - welcome to the red 

3k followers - perfect velvet

april fools

BY GYM

🧡 karasuno

❤️ nekoma

💙 aoba johsai

💛 fukurodani

💜 shiratorizawa

🖤 inarizaki

💖others

©sugawarassoulmate 2022 all rights reserved - please do not repost/translate my work on other platforms!

[misablr]

ONCE MORE TO SEE YOU

synopsis : YN LN (15f) had her heart broken and her reputation scalded by sakusa kiyoomi (17m). years after the incident, still strongly holding onto her grudge, unluckily for her, she crosses paths with him once again at twenty three. but alongside the heartache of a failed high school affair comes trouble in the form of miya atsumu.

MASTERLIST FOR PART 2 HERE

pairing : atsumu miya x reader + sakusa kiyoomi x reader

genre : ANGST, DRAMA, fluff

warnings : cursing, mentions of drinking & smoking, mention of sexual activities, mentions of cheating, toxic behavior, irrational characters, toxic relationship, haikyuu timeskip spoilers, characters might be ooc

started : oct 5, 22

ended :

updates : tuesday / saturday (7.30 pm GMT)

a/n : don’t read too much into the smau. it’s lazy writing for most part, but i’m still going to publish this because i feel like writing something, but it’s just that i don’t have much time to use my brains for it right now, so no better option for me than a smau!

profiles :

￫ yn’s squad

￫ kiyoomi’s squad

￫ extras

table of contents :

￫ zero

￫ one

￫ two

￫ three

￫ four

￫ five (wc)

￫ six

￫ seven

￫ eight

￫ nine

￫ ten

￫ eleven

￫ twelve (wc)

￫ thirteen

￫ fourteen

￫ fifteen

￫ sixteen

￫ seventeen

￫ eighteen (wc)

￫ nineteen

￫ twenty

￫ twenty one (wc)

￫ twenty two

￫ twenty three

￫ twenty four

￫ twenty five

￫ twenty six

￫ twenty seven

￫ twenty eight

￫ twenty nine (wc)

￫ thirty

￫ thirty one (wc)

￫ thirty two

￫ thirty three

￫ thirty four

￫ thirty five

￫ thirty six

￫ thirty seven

￫ thirty eight

￫ thirty nine

￫ forty (wc)

￫ forty one

￫ forty two

￫ forty three

￫ forty four (wc)

￫ forty five

￫ forty six

￫ forty seven

￫ forty eight

￫ forty nine

￫ fifty

⤥ bonus

MASTERLIST FOR SMAU CONTINUES HERE

©️diabolicalacid 2022 - 23. do not claim, copy or repost.

[misablr]

It’s been a little over two weeks since Mockingbird has started receiving requests to analyze one specific film. His followers have been nagging him relentlessly, praising its characterization and cinematography with full essays in the comment section. By now, he’s come to recognize all the most beloved elements of the supposed masterpiece—without ever having heard of the film. Was he not as well versed in film history as he thought? He sighs. Mockingbird scours the internet, digging through archives and lost media forums, but cannot seem to find a trace of the Scorsese’s illusive Goncharov (1973).

[misablr]

HOW HE TEASES YOU. . .

✦ ft: the tot boys x gn!reader

✦ a/n: v suggestive!! just some needy lil guys. forever thinking about luke’s back.

✦ ARTEM isn't direct with his intentions, but on the occasion that he's feeling a bit needy, he'll let his actions do most of the talking. when you two are laying in bed after a long day of work, the legal technicalities long gone from your thoughts, artem's fingers slide underneath the fabric of your shirt. they linger there before he's rubbing soft, delicate circles into your skin. he tucks his face into the crook of your neck, basking in your warmth and scent, and even though this should be comforting, he only finds himself wanting you more. "love..." his voice trails off in a whisper. anyone else would mistake it for fatigue, but you know the meaning underneath the deep timbre of his voice. it's hypnotic — the song of a siren. you pull his face out from the juncture of your neck and shoulders, looking deep into his eyes. a glint of lust and affection sits atop his irises. placing a gentle kiss to your lips, artem pushes himself up to hover over your body before melting his lips against yours once again. “i need you,” he whispers into your skin — and you’ll give him all that you are. he kisses you with fervor, his hands dance along your waist and he pulls you closer until you can feel the pounding in his chest against yours. the night ahead is long and ardent, but it's just what he needed — the perfect distraction.

✦ MARIUS never shies away from riling you up, whether you two are in public or not. he has this habit, an annoying one, really, of whispering how needy he is right by the shell of your ear. and if you weren't surrounded by tons of a-list celebrities and other important people that marius obviously has in his contacts, you'd yank him by the ear and tell him not to do that. and marius thinks he's smooth for wanting to get a reaction out of you at one of his own galas, but little does he know — you're used to this. "you look really pretty in that, baby, give me a spin?" he slides his hands lower so they sit right below your waist, and his fingers pull at the shiny silk he picked out for you. twisting the material around his finger, he leans in again. "or you can give me a private show later." you look up to see his signature smirk. you scoff at his words, knowing he’s only saying this to rile you up, but the warmth of his hand bleeds through the fabric. the rest of the night passes like a blur, and the only thought marius has on his mind is showing you how beautiful you truly looked tonight.

✦ LUKE knows the easiest way to get you flustered. it’s simple, because when he walks around the apartment with just his sweatpants on, you’re always at a loss for words. his body is toned; the countless hours he spent working out didn’t go to waste. you stare at the way his back flexes when he reaches into the cabinet for a cup, and when he turns back to ask if you want something to drink, he catches you staring. “what? you’re looking at me like i have 3 heads,” his fang peeks out as he laughs. “or are you just impressed?” he flexes a little and you catch the way his abs tighten, his arms swell even bigger. you feel your cheeks heat up, and luke comes even closer, encasing you in his arms. pressed against his chest, you think you might just melt. he presses a kiss to your cheek, cooing at your flustered expression. “you’re annoying,” you try to push him away, but he only tries to kiss your cheek again, reveling in the sound of your laughter. “says the one that’s trying to burn a hole through me. tell me, babe, are you gonna let me kiss you properly now?”

✦ VYN is always deliberate with his actions, delivering his message smoothly and nonchalantly. he lowers his voice, the timbre of it dark and intoxicating. and paired with subtle glances at your lips, he’s got you in a trance. he does this out of the blue — when you’re telling him about your day, you’ll notice the way he hums and focuses on your lips. he encourages you to go on, “hm? what else, sweetheart?” and when he looks at you so intently, with so much ardor in his golden eyes, you lose every syllable that once crossed your mind. he’s got you in his trap (as if you’d ever pull away from his honeyed gaze). his lips move towards yours like a gravitational force, and you lean in instinctively. at the very last moment, before your eyes flutter shut, you see that vyn’s still looking at you through heavy lids, as if he’s trying to commit the sight to memory, as if he’d never get to look at your lips ever again. you both know that’s impossible — he’s insatiable, and you’re under his spell.

reblogs are appreciated!

[misablr]

♡ ballelino's 2022 kinktober

i've decided to participate in kinktober, so i'm sharing the posting schedule and the summaries. there will be no taglist for this event, so you can keep up with this post or the updates post.

please pay attention to the kinks listed for each story and don't read something you don't like/want to read. warnings will be added to each oneshot. thank you!

summaries and member schedules:

chan — degradation, anal, bondage (f. rec) — your boyfriend likes using you in every way imaginable

minho — sir kink, overstimulation (f. rec) — minho and you take overstimulation too far

changbin — hate sex— everyone loves seo changbin—except you

hyunjin — exhibitionism, perversion— hyunjin and you decide to have fun on a public beach

jisung —roleplay— you don't have any cash on hand and the handyman is kind of hot...

felix — golden shower, cumshot (f. rec) — you let felix play out his fantasy

seungmin — brat taming, public sex, creampie (f. rec) — you take teasing too far, and seungmin shows you your place

jeongin — rimming (m. rec), degradation (f. rec), recording — your boyfriend loves filming you when you're being dirty

changbin & felix — cuckolding, humiliation (m. rec) — your boyfriend really wants to see you with his friend

chan — pegging, double ended dildo— chan tests his limits with you

minho — corruption, anal— there's something really hot about being your first

changbin — breeding, creampie— changbin doesn't want kids but he sure loves pretending

hyunjin — milf, semi-public— hyunjin drools over you a bit too much for you not to notice

jisung — dry humping, dom-sub— you show jisung what a good sub he can be

felix — agrexophilia, facial— your boyfriend just wants his roommates to know he's fucking you

seungmin — glory hole, sex work— glory holes should be anonymous, but seungmin recognizes you from somewhere

jeongin — mutual masturbation — you're forced to admit your shitty ex's friend isn't that bad

minho & jisung — creampie, threesome, poly — mornings are always chill at your place

chan — sex work, recording (preview) — it's your first time on a porn set, and your costar chan decides to help you relax

minho — thigh riding — minho promises not to touch you for 24 hours so you take matters into your own hands

changbin — size difference, drooling, lingerie — you surprise your boyfriend with some new lingerie

hyunjin — foot fetish, cum eating — maybe hyunjin's kink does something for you after all

jisung — pegging — you fuck jisung just like he fucks you

felix — androidism, creampie — men think it's a good idea to keep women trapped at home with very human-like robots

seungmin — somnophilia (m. rec) — somnophilia is all about trust, and the two of you have plenty of it

jeongin — anonymous sex, recording, cuckolding — you ask jeongin to make a video for your husband

chan & seungmin — free use, objectification, sharing — chan lets seungmin have his way with you

hyunjin & felix — lingerie, cumplay, poly — felix is having a bad day and hyunjin wants to make it right

changbin & jeongin — getting caught, threesome — fucking two roommates is never smart

jisung & hyunjin — sharing, no strings attached — jisung wants to fuck you in his roommate's room—you just don't expect the roommate to be there

ot8 — gangbang, cumdump, praising — you like sex a little too much

[misablr]

hearts hurt; you should know by now.

a/n: happy birthday to my 11/11 twin ♡ :D

content: angst

word count: 726

[ semi x reader ]

–––––

“Did you ever love me?”

Keep reading

[misablr]

taglist continued!

@rarr-com1452z @crapimahuman @kawaii-angelanne @kotarousbabyowl @xiaoqiji @smackmyasslikeavolleyball

can you keep a secret?

takes place 1 year after the last chapter!

•••

29a. omw rn <3

previous | masterlist | next

a/n: one more chapter…

taglist: closed!

•••

taglist! @daninaninani @ii-touya @airybnb @halesandy @bakugouswh0r3 @mariishat @hkyuinique @youtuboo @mahitocity @kac-chowsballs @moonlightaangel @mirikusashes @kodzuklutz @theyrehorndogs @cinnitsuki @hrtthrob @linoslino @renhold-nightspear @semhal @ellomei @gothr4y @reina-de-tay @mariachiii@abuliawrites @lucyheartfilias-wife @ifilosemyselfagain @letskidnapsenpai @mistabrainr0t @life-is-sad-lol @saltykoolaid@tsukkisfatsimp @notendoplasm @sunahyejin @delicatetrasheagle @random-fandom-girl-24 @rintarawr @nerdynstoned @idontevenknow129 @shigarakiskitten @akaashis-princess @celestair @calumsfringe @madusas-girlfriend @thesuitelifeofafangirl @just-a-saltine @katsu-shi @hisokaoncrack @trashy-simp @ntimacy @brionaaa @mynscorner @ushijimasushigushi @ish-scribbles @tropicsoda @astvr @bongofrito @crocigator @plsimsuchasimp @kahaes @miraeluc

if your name is in bold i cannot tag you!

rest of taglist in reblogs!

[misablr]

can you keep a secret?

takes place 1 year after the last chapter!

•••

29a. omw rn <3

previous | masterlist | next

a/n: one more chapter…

taglist: closed!

•••

taglist! @daninaninani @ii-touya @airybnb @halesandy @bakugouswh0r3 @mariishat @hkyuinique @youtuboo @mahitocity @kac-chowsballs @moonlightaangel @mirikusashes @kodzuklutz @theyrehorndogs @cinnitsuki @hrtthrob @linoslino @renhold-nightspear @semhal @ellomei @gothr4y @reina-de-tay @mariachiii@abuliawrites @lucyheartfilias-wife @ifilosemyselfagain @letskidnapsenpai @mistabrainr0t @life-is-sad-lol @saltykoolaid@tsukkisfatsimp @notendoplasm @sunahyejin @delicatetrasheagle @random-fandom-girl-24 @rintarawr @nerdynstoned @idontevenknow129 @shigarakiskitten @akaashis-princess @celestair @calumsfringe @madusas-girlfriend @thesuitelifeofafangirl @just-a-saltine @katsu-shi @hisokaoncrack @trashy-simp @ntimacy @brionaaa @mynscorner @ushijimasushigushi @ish-scribbles @tropicsoda @astvr @bongofrito @crocigator @plsimsuchasimp @kahaes @miraeluc

if your name is in bold i cannot tag you!

rest of taglist in reblogs!

[misablr]

getting a little emotional putting the finishing touches on this smau… kenma route ending chapters maybe later today…

[misablr]

mmm i’ll post the endings of can you keep a secret in a few days…. also hi :)

[misablr]

part two has me in more tears than part one omg

have, do, will: part two.

a/n: thank you for another milestone :’)

content: a bit suggestive

word count: 26.0k+

[ oikawa x reader, iwaizumi x reader ]

part one.

–––––

How does one keep a promise?

Three years ago, Oikawa Tooru knew how.

Keep reading

[misablr]

MASTERLIST - How you get the girl

Pairings: Miya Osamu x f!reader, Oikawa x f!reader

G: Angst, fluff

Warnings: swearing, angst to almost heavy angst, idk what else, suggestive contents, mentions of alcohol

Taglist is open, send an ask or comment. Reblogs and likes are highly appreciated.

Asks answered for the fic: [ #🍙 hygtg ] [ HYGTG playlist ]

 Description: Osamu needs to find a girlfriend. It was their parents’ request–mandatory rule– that Atsumu could not get married until his brother finds someone too. And Atsumu’s getting impatient to receive his parents’ blessing. After all, Atsumu already planned out everything for his wedding, he just needs his brother to find a love interest.

 You, a wedding organizer was in charge of Atsumu’s wedding. Osamu? Though you worked with him a lot as a well known caterer, you were not friends, close to enemies maybe. With the need to gather lots of money for your step-sister’s hospital bills, Atsumu offers a work way too far from your job description.

 Find Osamu a girlfriend and he’ll reward you a handsome payment.

 You were knowledgeable with romance, you have seen different types of love, you were even blessed with a 7 year long relationship with Oikawa.

 Surely, finding Osamu’s true love should be easy right? Or so you thought.

  Note: Pictures used in this fic are for visualization purposes with no aim to specify the reader’s physical attributes nor pertain to a certain race/color/body type. Everyone is gorgeous and loved.

 Reminder: Please stay hydrated, if your day is not going well I hope you’ll have better days soon. Take care of yourself and I’m manifesting your happiness.

CHAPTERS:

Meet the characters

1. Lights on

2. We’re good

3. She got a man

4. It’s normal

5. Miya family - no one’s adopted

6. No

7. Broke

8. Pineapples on pizza

9. Lucky One

10. True love

11. Yer interesting

12. At this point

13. Lights off

14. Cold as you

15. Finally?

16. Say no more

17. Maybe not anymore

18. Eat well

19. Mommy and Daddy Miya

20. Love struck

21. What if’s

22. Disappointing

23. Morning smile

24. Priorities

25. Career

26. Am I wrong?

27. Weekend

28. Recipes

29. Yer my fave

30. Hospital

31. Will you come back?

32. And goodbye

33. Back to Japan

34. Movie night

35. Place your bets

36. Friends

Oikawa’s route

37.

Osamu’s route

37.

Taglist: @itoshibaby @xxlightsaberxx @boosyboo9206 @chantalkate16 @discountkiyoko @lilith412426 @my-dream-universe @uniquabackyardigans @moonlightaangel @scentedflower @to-sneak-away-and-hide @notamazinglizzy @budibbly @itsmeteiiteii @camcam1617 @moonlitmyg @iheartsunarin @alyssasteaparty @mirikusashes @stormcastello @rintarovibes @bakugouswh0r3 @taytayy178 @minnieminnie00-got7 @porcolie @itzlally @a-creepy-beauty @vintagexparker @sunahyejin @suhaaaefre @random-fandom-girl-24 @zlatanakermann @thechaosoflonging @zukoslosthishonor @imarriedachef @daimiyu @harmonics0537 @bakudummy @erinoikawa @midnightvalyntine @oikawaandkuroostan @paintedstarres @atsumusholytoy @starsabove-me @ kamalymaly @singularly-gifted-witch @ crocigator @lovinsugamamma @ starylust

Started: 05/06/21

Last update: 07/20/21

[misablr]

[10:28 PM]— SUNA RINTARO

When Suna sees your story, your smile large as you’re out with friends for the first time in a while since the break up, his head spins. It’s not the outfit you’re wearing, it’s not the way the colors compliment your eyes perfectly or the way your body’s hugged in all the right places—it’s the arm wrapped around your shoulders, loosely hanging around you as though it were normal.

And he hates that the man who’s got you tucked into him seems so bright, so content.

And Suna sits in his room, on the creaky old bed, next to the dim old lamp, surrounded by the bare old walls, watching as you seem to have your life together.

Do you? Are you happy now? Now that you’re no longer tied to him, tied to his habits of shrugging you off, keeping you out of the loop, not coming to you when he needs it most, not being there for you when you needed him most.

He supposes it makes sense. It should. But he dies inside at the look on your face, and with every second he stares at your smile, his composure falters, and his eyes turn misty.

So, with shaky hands, he calls you, and to his surprise, you pick up.

“Suna?” He blinks, shocked at the normalcy of your tone.

“Hey, y/n,” he mutters. It’s quiet for a moment, and neither of you knows what to say, and then you sigh. He feels wetness seep down his cheeks.

“What is it?” Sniffling, he stares at the small cushions set up by the window where you’d both sit and watch the lights of the city. Suna pretends he’s looking out of it and talking to you while you visit your family like he used to do. He used to laugh when someone struggled parallel parking across the street, pausing you mid-sentence to tell you about it.

“I wanted to just… I just needed to hear your voice,” he whispers, admitting to you for the first time in a while that he needed something to do with your presence. Even too late, it feels somewhat nice.

But nice wasn’t always enough. Nice was fleeting, a small sense of security in a moment that you stole from the world, and it was easily outweighed by much more. Being with Suna was nice. And then it wasn’t.

Keep reading

[misablr]

Hi! I saw you mentioned your requests are opened and I was wondering if I could request how timeskip!seijoh 4 would do once they realized they caught feelings for their fwb? I hope you have a good day!!

➵ THE SEIJOH 4 WHEN THEY REALIZED THAT THEY FELL FOR THEIR FWB

characters: (timeskip) iwaizumi hajime, oikawa tooru, matsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro

a/n: my first hc post in a month++ </3 this is such a cute prompt omg i loved picturing how the guys would be like when they develop a lil crush even though they’re not supposed to :>

✿ 𝐈𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐈 freezes on the spot. the realization hits him when he catches himself smiling as you float around the kitchen, cooking breakfast for the two of you. the only thing in his mind was “damn, if i could spend every single morning with them, i would be the happiest man alive.” it took a couple of seconds for the thought to sink in, and when it does, you can see it all across his face—from the tips of his ears down to his neck, his skin is flushed red. you notice his flustered expression and raise an eyebrow at him, “you okay, hajime?” your voice alone sends tingles down his spine; now he’s overly-aware of your presence. he motions you to come closer; without meeting your eyes, iwa’s strong hands grip the sides of your hip, tugging you close to him. “you’re gonna be the death of me, i swear.” he mumbles against your stomach, face hot and heart warm.

✿ 𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀 realizes his feelings after winning a tough volleyball match. he’s still high off adrenaline after the game, but it’s only when he spots you waiting for him with a grin on your face that he feels like his heart’s going to burst out of his chest from excitement. “how’d you get here?” he asks, the wide grin on his lips mirroring yours. “you gave me a VIP pass remember?” you laugh, feeling a little shy all of a sudden. “congrats, tooru.” even though he just won an important game, you’re the only thing in his head right now. he wraps his arms around your figure, slightly lifting you off your feet as he squeezes you tight. i love you. i love you so much. that’s what he wants to say, but he decided to keep it to himself for little longer. he’ll tell you when the time is right, but for now, he’ll show you how much he loves you.

✿ 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀 kind of expected it, if he’s being honest. but he doesn’t expect himself to be the first one to catch feelings. propping his chin up against his palm, he gazes at you as you hand him a cup of his morning coffee, not a word coming put of his mouth. “what? is there something on my face?” you ask, beginning to get self-conscious because mattsun has been staring at you for what seemed like minutes now. a chuckle escapes his lips as he attempts to hide his smile, “nothing. was just thinking about how i can’t live without you.” you snort, rolling your eyes at him, “what a flirt.” he’s aware that you don’t really take his words seriously, but it’s true. mattsun is completely certain that he can’t live without you—he can’t and he won’t. but it’s okay, he doesn’t care how long it takes, he’ll be sure to make you understand that he’s not joking around.

✿ 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈 is a simple guy; he doesn’t expect much and he doesn’t want much. but when it comes to you, makki realizes that he has never wanted anything—or anyone—than he wants you. he realized that he had fallen for you when you’re the first person he turns to whenever he makes a joke, because he adores the way your eyes twinkle when he utters a perfectly thought-out remark, and he loves the way you throw your head back in laughter when he makes an absurdly dumb comment. the way a single smile from you can throw his entire day off course is a crime, he thinks. “why am i the only one who cracks all the jokes, my back hurts from carrying this relationship, y’know?” he announces while he’s laying on your lap. you laugh—and it’s that laugh again, the one that drives him crazy—as you run your fingers through his hair. “you love it though.” he huffs, cheeks tinted with a hint of pale pink. you’re right, he does, and he loves you, but that’s a story for another day. “yeah yeah, whatever.”

reblogs are highly appreciated!! <3

-> writing masterlist — requesting rules — taglist form

[misablr]

lovelorn:

summary: miya atsumu wished he hated you more than anything else because that would at least mean it'd hurt far less when you, the love of his life, was about to marry his brother, and he was the best man instead of the groom

pairing: miya atsumu x g!n reader, miya osamu x g!n reader

word count: 7.3k

genres + themes: some fluffy memories/moments, heavy on angsty concepts, weddings

warnings: angsty song lyrics, mentions of events that happened in time skip, a lot of atsumu's inner thoughts, some moments of heavy unrequited love and sadness, atsumu being selfless and hating it, light swearing

a/n: I had the idea for this maybe a week or so ago and it was singlehandedly one of the most fun and most agonizing pieces to write AHAHA [the italic verses are song lyrics from lana del rey's "13 beaches" which in the slowed + reverb seems to fit the vibe] I hope you guys like this since it's my first time writing legitimate angsty stuff ♡

Miya Atsumu used to love weddings.

Sure, the actual ceremonies were fun, but he had always loved the idea that they symbolized a strong bond between two individuals, and the promise of forever, even despite all their hardships.

He used to love the idea of forever with a person, especially one that he loved. They’d be his pillar of support through tough times, and he for theirs. They’d be able to share the warmest memories, and not fear for them slipping away through the cracks in their hands, because there was always tomorrow, the promise of a new day together.

He thought that he had found forever.

Only that forever was you, and you were never his. You would never be his. You belonged to his brother, who was the only man worthy of you, and yet it still managed to hurt.

Which is why when Osamu proposed to you, he had given you the tightest hug in congratulations, patted his brother on the back, and took pictures of the two of you looking at each other like you had strung the universe, and knew it. He had bragged about the pictures later, and even had run extra laps for running his mouth about his expertise at practice, when in reality, the look you gave his brother in them came to haunt him at night.

When Osamu told him that he was the best man, he had been civil to his brother the entire day as a way of saying “thank you,” but he would have preferred that he didn’t need to attend at all, because it had to be common knowledge that there was no greater agony than seeing the love of his life becoming a Miya, without having him standing at the altar instead.

Of course, there was nothing he could have done, considering that he had never had the courage to tell anyone of his feelings (especially you), and yet there he stood, wishing that everything would go to his plan without anyone knowing what exactly it was.

Standing at the venue, he straightened his tie as he looked back at his reflection, blonde hair swept to the side elegantly, with his suit accentuating the firmness of the muscles he had acquired from playing volleyball for the MSBY Black Jackals. He knew that he looked good, hell, some of the girls that were invited had hit on him. Multiple times.

But the only opinion that mattered was from someone who’d never see him in the way he wanted them to.

“So yer gonna be a huge narcissist before my wedding?” Osamu had teased, straightening his tie.

He flashed a smile at his brother, albeit strained, as they both stared ahead at the mirror. The Miya Twins, identical in everything but their hair and personalities, until today. One of them would be married and joyful, while the other would be trying to pick up the pieces of a heart nobody knew was shattered.

“Samu, I have the right to be a narcissist because I’m better looking!” He argued. “Y/N should have some sense and go for me instead, since I’m the better one.”

Osamu merely chuckled at this, his expression filled with excitement, rather than annoyance. “So yer still gonna be cocky? It’s eight in the mornin’.”

And what a beautiful morning it was. There had been predictions for rain earlier this week, and he had secretly hoped that it would rain just so that he could delay the inevitability that was the wedding. Of course, fate liked to play with everything, so this morning in particular had been gorgeous, light blue skies and a fresh spring breeze.

He didn’t know whether to feel relieved that he was getting the whole thing over with—like ripping off a band-aid, or give into the bitterness that seemed far more present at the back of his throat.

“Ya know I’m being cocky for a reason.” He joked, turning away from the mirror. He couldn’t stand to see himself right now, especially when his brother, the groom, was standing right next to him in a suit just slightly different than his own. It put an odd feeling in his chest. It could have been him in that suit instead.

“Hmm, okay, suit yerself. I’m startin’ to get a bit jittery, so could ya check up on Y/N for me? I need to make sure they didn’t change their mind.” Osamu’s face morphed into a tight line at the thought. “Oh no, what if they decided that they didn’t want to go through with this? How would I deal with that? Oh so this is wha–”

“Samu, Y/N would never leave ya. Have some trust in your to-be spouse, won’t ya?” Ouch. That sentence had hurt him way more than he cared to admit.

Osamu exhaled shakily in relief and straightened his jacket before he continued through the venue, until they reached the garden. Just by seeing it, he could already tell that you had been involved. The roses were in full bloom, and they were so masterfully organized that his feet were rooted to the ground and he wanted to stay in that exact spot.

“I think we might just do a full party photo here.” Osamu mused, smiling to himself. “Y/N would like something like that in a picture frame. Anyways, I technically brought you out here to tell you something important.”

Panic jumped up in his chest at the tone. Did he find out? He thought he had hidden it so well. Waiting for a response, he made his way over to the bench that was placed in the middle of the roses, and sat down, his heart quickening in it’s pace.

“Tsumu, please be a gentleman and don’t get too drunk before yer speech.” Osamu laughed. “Because as much as I’d like to see ya slurring through that damn thing, Y/N would have my head, and they care about ya too ya know?”

Oh. So he had been safe. What was supposed to make him feel better only managed to place another scenario in his head, a scenario where his brother knew and was willing to give you up so that they’d both be happy, but he knew that Osamu had been selfless enough for the two of them their whole lives, and that he was in his debt.

He needed to let you go, and yet, he found it harder with every minute that passed.

The two of them walked back to the venue, which was already beginning to be occupied by the rest of their friends and family, who they greeted with kind smiles as they headed to their respective spots on the altar. The rest of Osamu’s groomsmen showed up on time, most likely due to Kita’s influence on them. He was suddenly greeted with a mental Kita telling Suna to put down his phone, and put on his tux, and couldn’t help but laugh.

As they assembled himself, he felt something in his gut drop all the way to his toes. You were friends, and a good friend would be ecstatic if their friend was getting married, yet he was, fingers fidgeting rapidly as he prepared to hand you off to the one person who he never wanted to.

If only he hated you. At least then your relationship would have animosity, and the words that fell from your lips would guarantee that he could NEVER have you, in any way, shape, or form.

Now he was about to be close to you in the one way he never wanted to be.

The guests were ushered into silence as the music began to drift dreamily from the speakers, filling the area with an ambience of something sweet, and everlasting. Atsumu recognized the song, a tiny little thing he had found on one of his road trips with you.

You were sweet back then too, always teasing him and pulling him out of the gym when he didn’t feel like going home. That song was the one he found on the radio, joking how it’d be the perfect song to play at a wedding.

The fact that it’d be the wedding to his brother, was not what he had in mind.

He sucked in a deep breath as the song began climbing in it’s melody, the subtle keys of the piano leading to a slightly faster strumming of guitar. He knew that this is when it all changed, but nothing had ever prepared him for what he saw next.

You began walking down the aisle, a bouquet of carnations and chrysanthemums in hand, smiling at Osamu like he was the gold at the end of a rainbow (and in a sense, he was). Your eyes were bright and shining with pure adoration, and your cheeks were flushed with excitement.

God, you were beautiful. You looked so elegant as you walked towards the altar, as if you were an angel and you walked on clouds instead of the carpet that had been laid out for you. He gulped at the sight of you, unable to take his eyes off just how content you looked standing there, as if there weren’t people watching you at all.

He watched as Osamu welcomed you up with him, tearing up at the corners from your radiance, and greeting you with the widest smile he had ever seen from him. The two of you shared your vows, laughing at the funny parts, but never breaking eye contact, promising the world to each other, as you slipped a ring onto each other’s fingers and pulled each other in for a passionate kiss.

He stood there, wishing desperately for a reality that wasn’t even his!

Oh how his heart felt when the priest announced the two of you as spouses. It lay still, pouring blood all over the venue for the love he’d never have, and how you were a Miya, but not his.

Before he went up to give his toast, he shuffled the pre-planned speech in his head into something far better (for him), and went up to the podium, in dire need of a drink.

“Good afternoon everyone. I’d just like to give the customary toast to the happy couple. Cheers!” He announced, taking a long swig of champagne as the guests giggled. “Now, Samu is my brother, and I could sit here exposing him for decades, so instead, I decided to do somethin’ a bit different. Today, I’m not here just as a pro setter, a brother, and the best man, but also, as Y/N’s friend.”

The guests murmured interestingly at this, a newer twist on a tradition that was usually used for exposing the person that appointed them best man. In fact, even you had looked up at him in surprise, a smirk tugging the corner of your lips.

Good. He wanted those beautiful eyes of yours on him the entire time.

“Ya see ladies and gents, Y/N and I actually met before they met my idiot brother, so please, show some support for me by shaming my brother for stealing my friend.” He joked. Much to his surprise, the guests playfully booed at Osamu, including you, who smacked him on the shoulder.

“Tsumu, what are ya gonna do? Recite yer whole story about Y/N or somethin’?” Samu had playfully asked. Through the twinkle in his eyes, he knew that his brother knew what he was going to do...and approved it.

“Wow, would ya look at that! Samu actually was smart for once!” He exclaimed, contorting his face into a surprised expression. Osamu frowned at this, flipping him off while you chuckled with the rest of the guests. “Well anyways, yes, I am gonna share my story with Y/N, and show ya the timeline of events that led up to this whole thing.”

“Tsumu!” You called out, interrupting his speech. Oh man, he was not prepared to hear the lilting notes of your voice, or the way it seemed to caress his name with a twist only you added to it. He smiled genuinely at you, and you smiled back.

“For my sake, try not to embarrass us too much, alright?” You laughed, the breathy chimes melting something deep in his heart. “But please, do embarrass Samu. The prick deserves it for having a pre-wedding meltdown.”

“How did ya even know about that?” Samu gasped incredulously, his mouth falling into an “o” shape. “Ya weren’t even supposed to see me til’ this mornin’! How?”

“Idiot.” You sighed. “I am your spouse. Why wouldn’t I know when my spouse is having a meltdown. I can feel it Samu.”

The fondness with which you scolded Osamu had an effect on him as he was brought back to the reality of things. This wasn’t his wedding. You weren’t his spouse. The affection with which you had greeted him was from a history of close friendship (more on his end, of course), and the fact that both of you were now in-laws.

“Ahh Y/N, I bet ya ask yerself sometimes why ya didn’t go for the smarter twin.” He posed ridiculously for good measure, eliciting a laugh from the guests and a roll of the eyes from you.

“Tsumu, you’re ridiculous.” You grinned, holding up a glass of juice. “And I will not hesitate to pour this on your head if you’re being outrageous.”

“But Y/N, I’m only ever outrageous for ya!” He pouted, getting some of the girl guests to sigh. It wasn’t everyday that pro-setter Miya Atsumu gave such a personal wedding speech with such personal expressions.

But it was only for you. All of this was only for you.

“Get on with it Tsumu. Damn, someone’s gonna think that ya just want some attention or somethin.’” Osamu grumbled, a smile clearly on his face.

“Atsumu, I need footage of you making a fool of yourself. Do what your brother said for once.” Suna had mumbled very clearly into the crowd. He held up his phone almost impatiently, face in his normal deadpan. Typical.

“Okay, okay, jeez. Alright then, so Y/N and most of the groomsmen went to Inarizaki. I met them there, and they were responsible for making me the man I am today.” He added truthfully. He saw the shock register on your face from that statement, and he continued, just wanting to soak up all the expressions that your face made.

He thought back to all those times that you had spent the time with him that nobody else cared to, got to know him the way nobody else ever did, and eased his insecurities when they came to bite back at him in the locker rooms after games. You had been there for him every step of the way, and he intended to let his own heart stay under the delusion that you were his, at least just so he could give a passable speech.

“Alright, so it all began when….”

"I don't belong in the world, that's what it is Something separates me from other people Everywhere I turn, there's something blocking my escape"

Despite his good looks, talented sets, and overall appeal, he never had that many friends. Perhaps it was due to the fact that his fangirls always tried to claim him so much that the other boys in his year had rejected him for the most part, but he had never been able to trust someone, for they always left in the end.

People only wanted him for his looks, his volleyball skills, his charm. They never saw past the exterior grandeur of his persona to get to know what was really behind all those walls of closed steel. You were the first.

He sat alone that day in the gym, throwing ball after ball over the net in various serves. Jump float, jump serve, normal serve. He continued jumping, continuously pressed for those balls to land in bounds. For every ball that went out of bounds, he served five more to make up for that.

You had just happened to walk into the gym when he had served his last ball, a perfect jump float with the perfect shift in trajectory. You stared back at him, wide-eyed, and ever so impressed, and he mentally prepared himself to hear yet another mindless compliment, but it never came.

“Miya Atsumu, right?” You had asked, as you scanned your eyes over the gym. “You must be exhausted. Go drink some water or something!”

He felt his jaw drop in shock as you stood there with your normal stubborn expression, lip turned into what looked halfway between a laugh and a pout. He had never seen you around school before, and yet somehow, it felt like you were a magnet of some sort.

He was just that drawn to you.

Wordlessly, he headed to his water bottle to take a swig of it, not realizing how soothing it was for the water to head down his throat. Perhaps he had been tired.

“Who are ya?” He had questioned, kicking a volleyball out of the way. “Ya don’t seem like yer from around here.” That was the best guess he could come up with. You didn’t have the tell-tale Kansai dialect of the Hyogo prefecture, so maybe you were from somewhere else. It’d make the whole ordeal a lot more interesting.

“You’re more observant than the rest of the school gives you credit for.” You had said, offering no other information. “But yeah, I’m not from around here. I’m from anywhere but here.”

“So yer the mysterious type then.” He had concluded, picking up a ball and bouncing it on the gym floor. “Who are ya?”

“Who do you think I am?” You had shot back, smirk lining your face. “I’m a student, just like you are, the same age as you are.”

“Ya know what I’m actually asking.” He crossed his arms as he stared at you, wanting to see a shift in your reaction. Perhaps you’d get flustered, like many of the students tended to around him. He saw nothing but a defiant face.

“You’re gonna have to ask for it, Miya-san.” You leaned against the wall, reclining into a comfortable position.

Pseudo-confidence. He could tell from a mile away that this was merely a façade, a bravado to distract him from something integral. He used tactics like this all the time.

“What’s yer name?” He clarified. “And what’s bothering ya? Yer making it pretty obvious.”

“That easy to tell, huh?” You brushed a lock of hair from your face, and he could see your eyes more clearly now. “I’m Y/L/N Y/N. What’s bothering you, Miya-san?”

“You can drop the honorific.” He had instructed, shoving some of the volleyballs into the cart. “Why do ya care? There’s a million other things ya should be doin.’”

“And yet I’m here, aren’t I?” You had smoothly countered. “There were fifty-six volleyballs on the ground before you picked them up. I’m guessing you’ve been here maybe two hours and took no breaks. You’re tired, you’re hiding it, and goddammit, you look really lonely.”

Something in him stung at your words, that had brought the reality of things crumbling upon him. Besides his brother and teammates, there was nobody he bothered to trust since they all used him for their personal gain. Nobody wanted to know the real him. Just the version of him that would get them what they wanted.

Miya Atsumu was not somebody who broke down on the gym floor, especially in front of people, yet there he was, knees buckling, only to feel your hand on his shoulder.

“Miya,” You had whispered into his ear. “You’re worth more than your reputation, and you don’t need to be an outsider, you hear me?”

Oh, he had heard you. He still heard you in the times where his fear of being alone consumed him, your words the safety blanket that brought him back.

That was the first time he realized that you were different.

"But I still get lonely And, baby, only then do I let myself recline"

“You’re more human when you’re alone, Miya.” You had mentioned. The two of you had been sitting below a tree in the courtyard of Inarizaki, the sweet spring breeze cooling their surroundings. He hadn’t expected to see you again, especially not after his mini-breakdown on the gym floor. He was intrigued, yes, but he had an image he needed to uphold. He had ditched Osamu in an attempt to do some thinking, a feat that his brother described as utterly ridiculous, considering how stupid he was.

Maybe he was stupid. He had never managed to see past the externalities of any situation, only caring to see what others showed him.

You were showing him pure kindness. So then why was he so hesitant?

“I am a human Y/L/N,” He mumbled, flicking a sakura petal from the ground. “I don’t know what the hell yer talking about.”

“I mean...you’re always so grand.” You had told him, sitting in the spot next to him. “How do you fool everyone who cares about you. Hell, you act so well. You’re holding up iron walls and for what?” He had been shocked by this, by the kind tone you had used. You had been observing him, that much was definitely true, but he was taken aback by just how much you knew.

“Why are ya always around?” Was all he managed to get out before he cringed. That was no way to speak to someone, especially someone who took the time to ask him about himself, something nobody had ever done in-depth. For someone who was supposed to be charming, he didn’t feel like he was a master conversationalist right now.

“Because...I was in a spot like that once.” You admitted, your smile falling into a flatter expression. “Well, not the popular part. But being lonely in a room filled with people. I know the feeling. I just thought...that maybe you’d need a person to get you through, someone who wasn’t your brother or team.”

“Y/L/N, what do ya know about me?” He looked up from the grass and up at your face. For the first time, he was able to notice some of the subtleties about it. The supple curve of your cheeks, the brightness of your eyes, the little quirk of your smile. He committed it all to memory. “Yer new here, and yet ya know a lot more than people who’ve seen me more often.”

“I know that your talent overshadows your ability to be honest with people.” Was all you said, your eyes glimmering with some unknown fire. “It happens to the best of us.”

He felt so exposed under your gaze, so he ran a hand through his hair before placing a palm on the grass, the wind picking up in pace. “Why do ya always pretend to be so confident? I know yer tells. I do the same thing.”

“People won’t walk over someone who looks like they know what they’re doing.” You exhaled, closing your eyes against the breeze. He found himself turning to look at you again and noted how calm you looked there.

He let out a chuckle, low and genuine as he stared back up at the sky. “So I guess we’re in the same boat?”

You fluttered your eyes open, looking back at him. “That’s what I was trying to say the entire time.” You grinned at that, and he could see just how nervous you were behind it.

“I guess that means that yer my company now,” He smirked, flexing his fingers. “Just so ya know, be prepared to deal with random stuff from my team and Samu.”

You actually laughed at this, the relief flooding your face like how ocean water lapped onto the sand, a perfect combination. He committed that laugh to memory, memorizing the small gasp of breath you took before you expressed it. He didn’t know you well then, but he knew that laugh was about to be one of his favorite sounds.

“I can put up with you Miya.” You winked, before punching his shoulder. “Good luck putting up with me. Also, has anyone ever told you that you look like a villain from a TV show?”

“Shut yer trap!” He buried his face in his hand as he laughed hard, a feeling that he had not had in so long. “Ya look like one of those kawaii animal plushies that they sell.”

“So you think I’m cute?” You teased, eyes filled with mirth. “Wow Miya, so forward.”

“That’s not what I meant, Y/L/N!” He sighed. “God, I get what ya mean now. We should get going. The end of the day is coming around and I need to get to practice.”

The two of you had risen from the base of the tree, taking a minute to admire the sakura blossoms as you headed inside, heads filled with jokes and hearts a lot lighter. He had never expected to find solace so quickly, or let down his walls that he kept up for himself, and yet there he was, barring his soul for you in a matter of days.

He should have known what that would do to him, and yet, he continued, relishing the feeling of having someone that cared about him who wasn’t related to him in any way beforehand. It was an addictive feeling.

He wanted more, but something seemed to hold him back.

“And so folks, that’s how the star of this show ended up as part of our lives. So please, let’s offer Y/N a round of applause for being such a scary little shit.” He took another large swig of champagne as you were met with a round of applause, the exasperation in your features, enough incentive to continue. “So, that’s not it, obviously. Once Y/N started hangin’ out with me, we did a lot of fun things together. Care to tell em’ Y/N?”

“Tsumu, why are you like this?” You groaned before the guests egged you on. “Okay, so the idiot giving this speech is a dumbass, and maybe a few months into our friendship, decided to take me on an impromptu road trip. Funny story. Tsumu, take it from here, and for goodness sakes, don’t even THINK about mentio–”

“The incident. Don’t worry Y/N, I’ve got it all covered.” He smiled at the memory, locating it in his mind. Even though the road trip was one of his most treasured collections of moments, he harbored a lot of regrets there too. He had never foreseen things to fall in place the way they did. If he had, he would have done so many things a whole lot sooner.

"Can I let go? And let your memory dance In the ballroom of my mind Across the county line"

“Okay, so this particular story was why Y/N met Samu. Samu, you owe me free onigiri forever. Now, where do I start…?”

Atsumu had never thought he’d find you the way he did.

It was late into the evening that day, the clouds beginning to fade into various shades of purples and blues as the sun set behind them. After practice, he had let his mind wander, and it led to his feet taking him all the way to your house. He never knew why exactly that was, but he decided that he’d make the most of the situation and have your company.

Over the last few months, every moment you spent with him had brightened his life in so many different aspects that he didn’t even know where to begin. He was eternally grateful for your boldness that day, your reluctance to back down, and your perception, since those things had single handedly saved him from the clutches of something much uglier. He appreciated you, truly, but back then he was stupid, never knowing what something was until it was too late.

Your mother had greeted him, asking him if he wanted to stay for dinner which he politely denied, opting to invite you on something he had never thought he’d do with another person. Road trip. It had always been a dream of his to just forget who he was for a few hours and cruise down the roads as if he had nothing else to do. He had always thought that he’d need to do that alone.

Now he knew that he didn’t have to.

Walking up the stairs of your house, he found you curled up in bed, soft breaths coming out at a steady pace.

He had never known why his heart sped up at the sight.

God, you were so peaceful, your face holding no expression whatsoever. It shocked him how someone so expressive looked so...perfect, when they were content and blissfully unaware. For just a moment, he had a strong urge to kiss your forehead, but decided against it.

Friends didn’t really do that, did they?

“Y/N,” He whispered, leaning down to the shell of your ear. It was his first time saying your first name, but he loved it far more than he should have, rolling the syllables around in his head, over and over.

Y/N. The perfect name.

You stirred at his voice, hugging the pillow tighter before you sighed into it. “Tsumu?” You groaned. “What are you doing here?”

You had called him Tsumu. You had never dared to call him anything other than his last name, even when he insisted otherwise. You said that it was merely showing that you respected him, but it seemed that you had unconsciously given him the nickname the entire time. He felt a smile creep up his lips when he thought of that. Cute.

You must have realized it too, because suddenly you were all too awake, with an apologetic smile on your face. You were about to say something, but he decided to cut you off before you got there.

“Yer calling me that forever, do ya hear me?” He teased, ruffling your hair. “I don’t wanna hear any complaints. C’mon, yer mom gave me permission to take ya out, so we’re goin.’”

“Take me out?” You asked curiously, sleepy lilt still in your voice. “So...so forward.”

“Yer an idiot. Do ya need any coffee or somethin’ on the way? I think we’re goin’ on a road trip.”

“We’re doing what?!”

Not even a half hour later, the two of you were speeding down the highway as the sky darkened even further, music on full blast. He had turned up the radio so that they could have a soundtrack to their adventure, something straight out of a movie, if you asked him anyways. He left a message for Osamu, saying that he’d be back tomorrow, and that he was with a friend.

You had been the most beautiful thing he had seen that night. The simple sight of you was enough to send a tremor deep into his bones, and what made it even more difficult to comprehend was that it happened every time you even remotely smiled at him.

You hummed some random tune when a particular song came on, a sweet little thing. It was filled with wholesome guitar strumming and a gentle piano that seemed to elevate the guitar’s melody into something nectar sweet. It was one of the sweetest songs he had ever heard, and it seemed that you were pulled into it too, if the spark in your eyes was any indication.

“Y/N, this song would be perfect for a wedding.” He blurted out honestly, not even caring for what he was saying. It was a genuine thought of his as the notes filled the car, the space between you two decreasing. “Can’t ya imagine walkin’ down the aisle to this thing?”

“You’re right,” You sighed, reclining into the seat. “This song is gorgeous.”

He should have said that you were the gorgeous one, since the way you were looking at him right now seemed to encompass that word altogether.

But he was a coward. He didn’t know what it was that he felt.

So he didn’t say it at all.

With your head on his shoulder, all he could think about was all the times he had failed his friends and family through his distance, and god, he never wanted to fail you in any way.

Which is why when he leaned over to place a kiss to your forehead, he murmured a promise that you’d meet his brother, and that they should become friends. Because as much as his heart thudded at the contact, and as much as he wanted to say something, anything, to you about what he was feeling, he knew he was never going to be worthy of someone so amazing.

So he let you go, the subtlest way possible.

“Tsumu,” You had started as they continued to drive along the dark roads. “You know I love you, right?” His heart had frozen in his chest, a flood of emotions so strong that he couldn’t keep it at bay. He was merely seventeen, a boy.

He didn’t know what it meant to love someone, or what love felt like. Hell, he didn't even know how he felt about you!

He chuckled lightly in the air. “I love ya too. Yer good company.”

You playfully pouted at him, but eased into a smile anyways. “I think I deserve better than that.”

He felt something shift in the air after you had said that. He had invited you on the trip as a spontaneous thing, a little adventure to cherish when they graduated, but something about what you said struck a chord inside of him that he didn’t even know he had.

Oh. He felt all the moments shared between you rush in, the subtle press of your cheek on his shoulder, or the coolness of your hand when you mocked him for working himself into a fever. It was the moments you stayed in the gym to watch him serve, or the way you always chucked a water bottle out of nowhere at him, begging him to take care of himself. It was all those small inconsequential things that made him realize that you did deserve way more than what he could ever offer you.

He realized that night that he was in love with you.

But he knew he’d never be the person you needed.

To this day, it was one of his biggest regrets saying what he said next. “I know that. Ya know, my brother is actually pretty funny when he wants to be. Ya wanna meet him sometime?”

You nodded your head excitedly before turning up the radio and sticking your head out the window before gasping. “Tsumu, you need to fucking slam that accelerator, because the cops are tailing us.” You made a face of panic before he looked behind you to see the red and blue of cop cars. Fuck.

“How did we manage to get the cops on us?!” He yelled as he pressed the accelerator, the car speeding in response. “Fuck, Y/N, we are so screwed!”

“At least we have each other!” You grinned. Deep down, he felt his heart melt at the simple gesture, and it made him feel like he could face anything if you were right there beside him.

He wanted that feeling for the rest of his life.

The two of you ended up getting arrested, being brought to the station while the police contacted their parents, letting them know that it was not only too late for youngsters to be out driving, but also that they had sped upon the sight of them. However, they had been let off with a warning, and the two of you spent the night in the backseat of the car, watching the stars through the windows.

The pale moonlight had illuminated your face so perfectly, and for the first time since he met you, he wanted to kiss you.

But he could never say anything. He couldn’t fairly tell you how the faintest smile spiked his pulse, or how your gentle teasing sent the blood rushing through his veins. He wasn’t in a position to tell you just how much he had been unconsciously pining for you, because you most likely didn’t feel the same way.

When you had returned from the road trip, you had accidently ran straight into Osamu, knocking him over the minute you reached his house. You had never been there before, considering that there were always more interesting places to see, but the minute he saw Osamu smiling up at you like he had met an angel (which truly, he had), he knew that he was never going to have you, in this life, or the next.

Seeing you fall in love with his brother felt like he was drowning.

Every time you came to his house, it had morphed from seeing him to seeing Osamu. Every car ride you used to spend with him was now filled with Osamu driving the two of you on fun dates, where you always came back looking like some sort of heavenly creature. It was agonizing, having you be so close and yet so far at the same time.

Worst of all, those feelings only continued to grow. While you bonded with Osamu over many things, you never did the honorable thing and left Atsumu alone. In fact, there had been a few times where you had ditched dates with Osamu to make sure that he was okay, and that he wasn’t falling back into old habits. You still cared for him so deeply, having no clue of the effect it had on him.

At night he stayed awake, wondering if kissing you silly on that damn car ride would have made a difference. Maybe you would have kissed him back, your soft lips meeting his, in a way that showed that you cared for him in more ways than one.

Usually he banished the image from his mind.

It was dangerous territory, and he had already walked that path more than once.

His memories with you...were some of the best of his life. He remembered all the joyous moments where the two of you could sit beneath the sunset in silence, and yet still be able to convey messages between the two of you. Like magic.

He tried so hard to forget you when graduation came around. He looked away when you showered Osamu with all your love, instead of him. A hug simply would not be enough to convey the ocean of feelings he had accumulated for you.

When he began playing for the MSBY, he had taken out a girl every week, using her as a shield from the eyes of the people who he cared about, because they’d notice just how much it hurt to live the way he lived.

You came to all his games, were the only one who could cheer for him during his serves, and always let him spin you around, win after win. His teammates had always asked if you were his, and god he itched to say “Yes,” to agree to that statement, but he always shook his head “No,” and told them that you were his brother’s...not his.

Which is why he kept those memories of you safe in his head, to replay at night when he felt lonely, to hold, cherish, and dream with those moments, because you were the only thing that kept him sane and drove him insane at the same time.

Maybe he’d kiss you in his dreams.

Maybe that would make him feel better.

“So the moral of the story is to trust me, come with me on spontaneous adventures, and remember that I, Miya Atsumu, set these two lovebirds up.” He chuckled to himself, applauding himself for keeping such a joyous persona when it felt like he was impaled on the inside. “Now, as far as speeches go, I can’t really end mine without the proper endings, ya know? So Samu, thank ya for being’ such a good brother and takin’ care of Y/N. They’re lucky to have ya.” Osamu was shocked at this, tears running down his cheek from how touched he was.

“Y/N, I’d like to personally welcome you into the Miya family. It takes a lot of guts to deal with us, and I’m glad that you were the one that Osamu chose to join us.”

If only you had joined the family through him.

“Tsumu, you’re amazing.” You choked out, eyes glazy from the touching speech. “How is it that you manage to upstage me at my own wedding you bastard!” You laughed at this, while Osamu dried some of your tears.

“Because I know ya best Y/N,” He had replied simply, the last of his champagne long gone from his glass. “Anyways, that’s a wrap. To the happy couple! May they continue to bless each other with joy for the rest of their lives! Cheers!”

“Cheers!” The rest of the guests cried out, sipping their drinks as they clapped thunderously for his speech. He bowed in gratitude before heading back down to the tables where he was supposed to sit. Osamu ran up to him and embraced him, all while berating him for coming up with such a touching speech.

“Yer an idiot ya know?,” Osamu had lectured between tears of happiness. “Yer supposed to be stupid. Where the hell did ya come up with somethin’ like that?”

“It came straight from the heart.” He admitted, clutching his empty glass. “I think I’m gonna go for another drink. Given’ good speeches are tiring.” He had just patted his brother on the back and walked away before you had thrown yourself onto him, eyes glimmering with so many shades of happiness.

“Tsumu!” You sobbed into his tux. “You’re such a big sap! That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard in my life!” He clutched you tighter to him, committing the feel of you against his chest to memory, begging whatever powers that were out there to freeze time, just so he could have you for a moment.

"It hurts to love you, but I still love you It's just the way I feel"

You looked up at him, before pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “You know that I’ll always love you, right?”

He was on the verge of tears, the shards of his heart feeling like they’d impale through his chest at any moment. The words were on his lips, the three words he chanted to himself anytime he saw you, albeit silently. He could say it. He could say them right now.

No. You loved Osamu, and he was never going to take away you or his brother’s happiness for the sake of his own whims. You had been his brother’s for years, and all the chances he had were a thing of the past.

He needed to be selfless. He had to let you go.

It killed him to do it, the agony flooding his body at the mere thought, but it’d kill him even more to see you sad.

“I know,” He said, wrapping you even tighter into his arms. “I love ya too.”

"And I'd be lying, if I kept hiding The fact that I can't deal The fact that I can't deal"

Miya Atsumu used to love weddings.

Now the thought of one just made him hurt inside.

©mysterystarz all rights reserved, please do not plagiarize, translate, or modify my fics in any way even if credited

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semi route

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27b- what’s poppin

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a/n: it took me forever to finish this chapter... tbh the motivation to finish this au is like gone but imma finish it regardless!!! each route will have about 3-6 chapters of its own ahh and then ill announce my next au which i’ve been planning in the shadows!

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