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Just my life right now

So i don’t even know if anyone will read this because i don’t have followers, but i’m posting this as motivation for myself and i’m hoping future-Caroline will look back on this post and use it as inspiration to not be like who i was before.

So this isn’t my first go-around with anamia, but it like kinda went away for a bit but not really and now its back. Like every time i ate it was always in the back of my mind, so i guess it never left, but now i’m appreciating it more. I’m fat. I know i’m fat. I know i’m ugly. I know i have acne. I know i’m not pretty. I knoooowww ok. Mom and anna and tj and my friends and everyone i have & will ever meet think that. Yall i get it. I wont eat anymore i know.

I’m just really pissed right now at everything because of today. This day is not going well. First, i made my schedule to the wrong major and had to contact my advisor about it. Second, work wasnt fun & i got sprayed with water. Plus i ate a handful of chocolate chips, 7 veggie straws, 6 gummy bears, and a spray of whipped cream. Third i ate ihop with duncan, mitchell, and kaylee (which i had a blt with minestrone soup at) which made me want to throw up. I did when i got home and i was supposed to go to little 5 with anna later. I was like hey lets go and we got nit picky with each other (i stepped on something that was on the floor) and she said “you’re too fat to see it” like thanks lol sorry i was LITERALLY just throwing up in the bathroom peace out thanks bro. Then i went back to the bathroom to finish what i started. I just dont want to eat anymore. All this weight watcher stuff is a good excuse though at least. My mom signed me up for it and nags me about it and everything.

Pretty much what i’m tryna show from this is that when i come home from college, i’m going to be 99. Before i said 100, but 2 digits is enough. I’m done. When i’m at college, no one will tell me to eat & i will be happy. Everything is going to work my way and thats exciting!

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How to be a pretty girl

Hygiene

Take a shower at least once a day

Wash your hair 2/3 times a week

Shave 2/3 times a week

Scrub your body once a week

Always apply deodorant

Wash your face twice a day

Always remove your makeup before going to bed

Always apply moisturiser on your skin

Scrub your face every two weeks

Scrub your lips at least once a week

Apply lip balm when you wake up and when you go to bed (and whenever you feel like)

Brush your teeth after every meal

Keep your eyebrows clean and in order

Keep your nails in order

.

Appearance

Wear pretty outfits

Always apply makeup

Always wear nail polish on your toe nails

Sometimes apply nail polish also on your finger nails

Keep your hair in order

Use perfume if you want

.

Exercise

Go to the gym/workout at home at least twice a week

Always take the stairs

Walk home at least one day a week

.

Food

Do not eat more than 1200 calories a day

Always count calories

If you don’t know how many calories a food has, do not eat it

Do not eat junk food

Drink at least 2 litres of water every day

.

School

Study at least one hour every day

Always take notes in class

Do not forget books at home

Do all your homework as soon as you can

Always study for tests

Keep your books tidy

Prepare your outfit and your backpack the night before

Participate during lessons

Be friendly with your schoolmates

Do not talk about your personal problems

Do not talk obout food

Drink at least 500 ml of water during lessons

Do not eat at school

.

Stay safe sweeties 🌼

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I’m finally at 100.0lbs!!!

❣︎❤︎Reblog for good luck❤︎❣︎

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Concept: lying on the couch with you, tangled in each other’s arms and wrapped up in the fluffiest blanket we own. It’s raining heavier than it’s rained in months, and we’re listening to the clatter of the droplets on the roof. We’re at peace.

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Eating is for those who have nothing better to do

The trick is to find something better to do

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Why do I only feel pretty when I’m starving?

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Things I am good at

Messing things up

Being very guarded

 Disappointing people 

 Clinging to hard or isolating 

 Making bad choices

 Upsetting people I care about

 Getting hurt

 Self sabotage 

 Sleeping

 Running from my problems 

 Pretending I’m ok

 Hiding vulnerability 

 Letting my insecurities get the best of me 

 Pissing people off 

 Pretending not to care when I care alot

 Being defensive

 Being alone

Pushing people away

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Waddup I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fuckin learned how to

eat

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things i’ve noticed after losing weight

~ crops tops are less tight in the arms 

~ the cellulite around my thighs is disappearing and i’m starting to get a decent butt 

~ i have the confidence to wear shorts now???

~ the jeans that were tight on me last summer are too loose now and i have to wear a belt 

~ my stomach has shrunk. i can’t eat an entire meal, let alone have seconds

~ fasting has become a part of my routine and is no longer a burden 

~ my skin isn’t breaking out as much as it used to 

~ the longer i go without carbs, the less i crave them 

~ people are treating me nicer because society is extremely fucked up 

~ “holy shit i can see your collarbones, goals” - i actually had a friend tell me that in class 

~ “eat some more, you can stand to gain a few pounds” 

i’m nowhere near where i want to be, but i’m progressing. and that’s all that matters. 

stay safe xx

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💊

If you see this pill it means you are NOT allowed to binge for the rest of the year.

No take backs. Sorry not sorry

Eat your fruits cutie

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The lounging lion

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