mini-james-bond

[mini-james-bond]

~mini james bond~

some alex rider doodles 

[mini-james-bond]

1. I think we can skip the whole “man in drag” description of Eva Stellenbosch. She’s racist and evil and that alone should make her disgusting enough. But emphasising that she’s disgusting BECAUSE she’s buff and masculine has some really unfortunate implications. 

2. I swear to god, if Fiona Friend is portrayed in the same way as a Bond girl, eg, a piece of meat to be gawked at, I will literally puke. I’m talking about the pool scene, we can either skip it or parody the hell out of it. Implications of sexualising a 15 year old aside, I feel like it would be both disrespectful to both Fiona and Alex. Alex Rider is a deconstruction of the James Bond genre, therefore he’s polite to locals, respects women, doesn’t drink and actually does espionage. 

wishes for the AR tv show

fandom: what from Point Blanc do you really want to see included in the tv adaption? I of course want Wolf/K-Unit and also Alex snowboarding down the mountain - what other little or big things are you hoping they keep? or what would you like them to skip over or change?

[mini-james-bond]

~Double-0-Nothing~ Half the size, twice the fight, it’s Alex Rider, the reluctant teenaged spy!  (here’s a drawing! thank you everyone for your support! really appreciate it!) 

[mini-james-bond]

Stormbreaker Character Sheet

My interpretations of the characters (part 1)

ALEX RIDER The reluctant 14-year-old spy.

Alex is your average kid, whose life is turned upside down when he discovers that his uncle Ian was secretly a spy. Soon after, a shadowy organisation recruits Alex against his will, pulling him into the dark and dangerous world of espionage. His uncle has always prepared him for danger, teaching him all sorts of skills that no average teenager would know, but Alex is way over his head, and it takes every bit of his wits (and luck) to survive.

Alex is an intelligent, energetic kid, who is far too curious for his own good. He is kind-hearted, with a strong sense of right and wrong, and cannot sit by when others are in danger. 

His biting sense of humour, and a smart mouth often gets him into trouble, fortunately, his athleticism and Karate skills are there to get him out of it.

He is young and unassuming, so people tend to underestimate him. He is also a good actor, and has the innocent "who me, sir?" routine down pat.

Relationships:

He has a very close bond with Jack, who is more like an older sister than a housekeeper. Her level-headedness and grace under fire have influenced Alex quite a bit in his formative years, he draws on this when he is in trouble.

His uncle is a near-stranger, who is barely around. Alex is not sure if Ian even loves him. Was all that training to protect him? Or to make him the perfect spy?

Notes:

This is a challenging role: The actor who plays Alex must be reasonably fit, and have a great deal of emotional maturity.

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JACK STARBRIGHT

Housekeeper and guardian

Jack is an American in her early-to-mid 30s. Despite being the housekeeper, she is more like an older sister. She loves Alex very much, and they have a close bond.

Jack is friendly and fun-loving, while also being highly competent. She runs a tight ship, and most of her good habits have rubbed off on Alex.

She was hired to be a temporary housekeeper/babysitter when Alex was 5, but has since stayed in a permanent capacity, when she grew fond of him.

At the time of Ian's death, she is staying in UK on a work visa that was about to expire, she is very worried about Alex's future, and how strange he has been acting since his uncle's death, but puts up a strong front for him.

She is in rather over her head, but hides her fears well. She has an inner strength, which carries herself and Alex through the darkest of times.

Notes:

Jack needs to have good chemistry with Alex, she is a mother figure, but at a glance, it is immediately obvious she is not his mother.

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IAN RIDER the enigmatic, absentee uncle.

Ian Rider is a spy, posing as a banker. He is an athletic man in his early 40s. A quiet, imposing and deeply secretive individual who keeps to himself, and holds everyone else at arms length.

Ian's brother John and his wife Helen were killed in a plane crash, leaving behind a 2-year-old Alex. Despite the dangers and challenges of his job, Ian refused to put Alex in foster care, and chose to become his legal guardian.

Alex sees Ian as a kindly stranger, rather than real family. Which is exactly as Ian intended, and also his biggest regret in life.  Ian Rider, despite his cold exterior, has a heart, which greatly inconveniences him. While he could prevent Alex from loving him, he could not prevent himself from loving Alex.

He trained Alex from a young age in a multitude of skills, in order to prepare him for the cruel and dangerous world. Deep down he feels responsible for failing his brother, and he vows that he will not fail his nephew. Every interaction is tinged by a subtle pain. Alex reminds him of his dead brother, and of the lost opportunity of being a real uncle.

There was bitterness and pride in training Alex and watching him excel. It was deeply ironic that the more skilled Alex became, the better he'd be at spying, and the more likely he'd go on to live a dangerous life. In keeping Alex safe, Ian put in him in danger.

He always suspected that MI6 would try to recruit Alex, but he thought it would be in the distant future, when Alex was an adult and had a choice in the matter.

In the end, Ian Rider predicted his early death. But he could not have predicted Alan Blunt's ruthlessness.

Notes:

Ian does not wear his heart on his sleeve, he only allows the briefest and subtlest of emotions to show, which even then, are ambiguous and easily misconstrued.

Ian Rider speaks very little. Actor must be very charismatic, and be able to communicate well through body language

[mini-james-bond]

STORMBREAKER SCREENPLAY 2.0

written to cope with my utter disappointment with the movie

2. The Funeral

The next morning… the rain has finally stopped. The gutters are filled with muddy water and dead leaves, the sky is the same wet-grey as the pavement, it feels like the world has been encased in an enormous concrete box.

CUT TO…The RIDER HOUSEHOLD. We’re in a large, airy billiards room, tastefully furbished with dark mahogany, the perfect place for a sophisticated gentleman to retire. ALEX stands over a forgotten game of pool, cue in hand. He is in jeans and an old sweater, watching the rain slowly drip from the gutter…TAP...TAP…TAP… CUT TO…an OLD VICAR, with a kindly but vacant expression, stares expectantly at Alex. He has just asked ALEX a question.

VICAR: Well, Alex?

ALEX looks up at the OLD VICAR…

CUT TO…The living room, ALEX stands motionless before a wall of photos. The grandfather clock the corner shows it is 6:30am…TICK…TICK…TICK…

The photos chronicle ALEX’s childhood, most of which feature some sort of outdoor activity; rock-climbing, karate, BMX, the kid’s done it all, and on every continent of the world too. JACK appears in almost every one of them, starting from when he was as young as 5, looking more like an older sister than a housekeeper.

In comparison, there is only one picture which has both IAN and ALEX. It’s the smallest one by far and half-hidden behind a vase. It’s last year’s ski-trip, their faces mostly obscured by protective gear. ALEX grinning and exhilarated, IAN inscrutable…

JACK’S voice floats out of the kitchen. She is talking on the phone, the forced evenness of her voice betrays her agitation. ALEX hears the words VISA… MORE TIME…I HAVE A KID…HE NEEDS ME…

CUT TO…Lunchtime, A burger king, mostly empty save for a JACK and ALEX, picking at their meals in silence. JACK eats with one hand, and holds tightly onto ALEX’s with the other, her head is bowed, weighed down by sombre thoughts. ALEX looks up, his mouth opens as if to speak…but nothing comes out.

CUT TO… The OLD VICAR looks down expectantly, ALEX gives him a false, reassuring smile.

ALEX: Yes. I’m fine.

CUT TO…Evening, ALEX stands in his room, looking out of the upstairs window. He is dressed for the funeral, with an untied tie around his neck. A black hearse pulls up to the house and a non-descript man in a suit gets out…

CUT TO… An hour ago, ALEX stands before a heavy oaken door, it’s IAN’S OFFICE. A mysterious room befitting a mysterious man. He pictures his younger self, gazing up in wonder at this door, IAN turns, fixes him with a brief, piercing look, and the door is shut behind him.

ALEX blinks away the image. His hand reaches for the doorknob, hesitates – out of old obedience to IAN- then his hand closes around the cold brass handle…

It’s locked.

CUT TO…The present, ALEX walks down the stairs, and runs into JACK going up. She is putting on a brave face.

JACK: There you are! We’re about to go -oh, look at your tie! You’d loose your head next, if it wasn’t screwed on!

She ties his tie and smooths back his hair, clicking her tongue all the while. They descend.

ALEX: (in a voice far too serious for his years) Jack… JACK: Yes, hun? ALEX: Don’t you find it…strange? JACK: (concerned) Find what strange? ALEX: The police…they said Ian wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, but you know how careful he is! He won’t even drive me around the corner without making me put mine on. JACK: (sighing) Yeah, I guess so. But accidents do happen Alex, even to the most careful of people. Why would the police lie to us?

At the bottom of the stairs stands the non-descript man. He smiles blandly and extends a hand.

CRAWLY: Crawly, from personnel. All of us at the Royal and General Bank are deeply shocked and saddened by this tragic accident.

CONT…inside the hearse, on their way to the funeral

JACK: (exasperated) –and I am at my wits end! Because we’ve already spoken to the lawyer, and he doesn’t know a thing!   ALEX: (also exasperated) What does it say in the will? CRAWLY: (in a reassuring manner) There’s no need to worry, everything will be taken care of by the bank.

They arrive at the cemetery, there are 30 or so people already there. ALEX: (whispers) Do you know any of these people? JACK: (whispers back) No, I think they’re all from the bank. Everyone is uniformly dressed in black suits, whereas ALEX and JACK just wore what ever formal clothes they had available, they stand close together, feeling quite out of place.

As the service starts, a black Rolls-Royce pulls up. A barely perceptible hush falls over the crowd. Two BODYGUARDS with grim faces climb out, followed by a man in a grey suit. CRAWLY taps ALEX on the shoulder. CRAWLY: That’s Mr. Blunt, he’s the chairman of the Royal and General bank. The bodyguards scanned the crowd, heads turning like radar dishes. ALEX has his eyes fixed on MR. BLUNT, he is unnerving to look at, his face is utterly lifeless, everything about him, from his skin to his hair, is grey. As if he has a sixth sense, BLUNT’S head turns, and ALEX quickly averts his gaze.

The service passed slowly for ALEX, who found no comfort in listening to a stranger drone on about the uncle he barely seemed to know. He found his mind wandering to the nearby park where some kids his age were playing footie. The cheerful vignette is sharply contrasted by the maudlin voice of the VICAR in his ears. Here he was, standing in the deep shadows of old trees, separated from the normal world by death, his own life had become so uncertain and grim.

VICAR: Above all, he was a great man, a patriotic man, and he will be dearly missed.

ALEX frowned. Odd choice of words, more fitting for a soldier than a banker…

VICAR: May he rest in peace, amen. EVERYONE: Amen. ALEX: (caught off guard) Amen.

The funeral ends and the crowd begins to disperse. ALEX wades through the sea of black, searching for JACK. He is not paying attention to where he is going, when he looks up, he sees BLUNT and BODYGUARDS standing before him. The crowd almost appears to have funnelled him... Alex is hesitant, but this may be his only chance to get some answers. He approaches. BLUNT is not tall, and appears even shorter when flanked by two powerfully build BODYGUARDS. But he has a powerful presence, and he stares ALEX down like he is a lab specimen. His voice is like dead leaves.

BLUNT: You must be Alex Rider. Your uncle often spoke of you. ALEX: (putting on the “innocent schoolboy” act) That’s odd. He’s never mentioned you, sir. BLUNT: (A muscle twitches in his jaw, he might have been annoyed, or amused.) Ian was a good man, and good at his job. He will be missed.   ALEX: What was he good at, my uncle? He doesn’t talk about his work, either.

CRAWLY steps INTO FRAME at that exact moment. What a coincidence. CRAWLY: (with subtle condescension) Your uncle was in charge of our over-seas branches, you must have known that, at least, Alex. ALEX: (He bristles, a hint of edge creeping into his voice.) I know he travelled a lot, he’s been all around the world, sometimes at the drop of a hat. And I know he was very careful, especially about things like seat-belts. BLUNT: (Impassively) Not careful enough, it seems. Behind BLUNT, the bodyguards raise their fingers to their earpieces in unison.

BLUNT: Well, this has been a pleasant chat. (He flicks the word away, like lint. Then he taps his chin thoughtfully.) Yes…I believe we will be seeing each other again very soon, Alex. Right on cue, the Rolls-Royce pulls up to the kerb, and BLUNT climbs in. As BODYGUARD #1 closes the door, the wind blows open his jacket, revealing a holstered pistol. He quickly covers it back up, but it is too late… ALEX’S eyes widen in surprise. BLUNT turns towards ALEX, something very close to an emotion slithers onto his face…Then the moment passes, and the car drives off. JACK appears behind ALEX, startling him. JACK: Alex, there you are! I’ve been looking all over-! Honey, what’s the matter? ALEX: Nothing. JACK: C’mon lets get out of here, cemeteries give me the creeps! ALEX: (muttering) Yeah, and a couple of creeps have turned up too… JACK: Don’t run off like that, I thought someone kidnapped you. ALEX: Seriously? JACK: I know, who would want such an ugly child? ALEX: Hey, people in glass houses-

They wave off CRAWLY and the car they arrived in, opting to walk home instead. CRAWLY opens his mouth to object, but decides against it.

CUT TO…The pair cross onto a familiar street, the journey has only taken them 15 minutes. ALEX has loosened his tie and JACK is walking barefoot, heels in hand.

They notice a strange VAN parked outside their house, on the side it says STRYKER AND SON, HOME MOVERS.

ALEX: Hey, I wonder what that’s doing there- The VAN drives off in a screech of tires. ALEX’S suspicious are roused. Small details only increase his suspicious. The doormat is slightly askew, letters on the table are now on the floor, the closed door is now ajar…Someone has been in the house. ALEX runs upstairs two at a time, ignoring JACK’S voice from the living room. CUT TO…He bursts into IAN’S STUDY, and wheels about the room in shock, chest heaving. Every single piece of furniture has been removed, desk, chairs, cabinets, everything. The room is completely empty. All that’s left are a few pale patches of dust. A watery beam of sunlight enters through the window. Motes of recently disturbed dust float around ALEX like snow. Where the light hits, they appear briefly to dance and twirl, only to disappear again…FADE TO BLACK END

[mini-james-bond]

Stormbreaker Screenplay 2.0

Written to cope with my utter disappointment with the movie. 

INTRODUCTION.

Earlier that day… A smart leather briefcase makes its way down a hallway, attached to it is a man in a navy suit, he is middle-aged and unremarkable, he could have been anyone, a banker, a lawyer or a businessman, but something about his brisk, purposeful movements and piercing gaze sets him apart. This is IAN RIDER.

The hallway is so stark and white it would not look out of place in a hospital. He walks past two people dressed in white HAZMAT suits. There is an elevator at the end of the hallway which has a both a card scanner, and a 7-digit-code. He punches in the code without even looking. As the elevator door closes, one HAZMAT SUIT turns, in one fluid, graceful motion, and watches him.

CUT TO…6:30pm in the evening, a street somewhere in CHELSEA… Two large, loutish figures swagger down the sidewalk, swearing and grunting. Wannabe thugs, teenagers in baggy clothes and too much hair jell. But in the darkness the effect is menacing, rather than ridiculous. They’re drunk and bored, a volatile combination…

Something shiny catches their eye, it’s a brand new racing bike parked outside a dairy. THUG #1 gives a low WOLF-WHISTLE, it’s one hell of a bike, high-tech and silver, looking like something out of a Bond movie. They waste no time trying to cut the lock with their pocket knives.

A VOICE interrupts them: Um, excuse me?

The THUGS look up. This little blond kid steps out of the dairy. He’s about fourteen years old and wearing a school uniform. In one hand his holds a Cornetto, in the other, a juice box. It’s ALEX RIDER.

ALEX: Excuse me, but, um, that’s my bike.

CUT TO…The briefcase and IAN RIDER goes through an arduous security check, involving x-rays, metal detectors and sniffer dogs. It seems that they are as concerned with who goes out as who comes in. IAN RIDER explains something to A MAN ON THE PHONE.

IAN RIDER: …Family emergency. No, nothing serious, I should be back by Monday.

CUT TO…A Cornetto lies melting on the pavement, beside it, a puddle of red, oozing from a flattened juice box. ALEX wets a napkin on his tongue and dabs ineffectually at a red stain on the front of his shirt. His tie is a little crooked, and a few strands of hair have fallen over his eyes. The prone and prostrate forms of the two THUGS can be seen lying on the ground behind him.

ALEX throws his ice-cream, juice-box and two confiscated pocket knives into a nearby rubbish bin, looking very pleased with himself. THUNDER rumbles in the distance, and suddenly it starts to rain, rather put-out by the weather ruining his cool moment, ALEX hops onto his bike and pedals home.

CUT TO…IAN RIDER climbs into a sleek, silver BMW. He is meticulous, making all manner of small adjustments before he drives. As the car speeds off we hear a phone call he makes off-screen. An odd, brusque phone call. He wastes no time on pleasantries.

IAN RIDER: This is Rider. I’ll arrive back in London in three hours and thirty-seven minuets.

He hangs up, hesitates, and enters another number… but he doesn’t dial, he just stares at the row of digits, his face inscrutable. A moment later and the phone is turned off and returned to it’s holder.

Heavy purple clouds sit low on the horizon, the BMW files like silver arrow. Thunder rumbles in the distance, a storm is coming.

CUT TO…A warm, brightly lit kitchen, rain patters on the roof outside. A young red-headed woman, is preparing dinner to the beat of LOUD ROCK MUSIC. This is JACK STARBRIGHT, the housekeeper, she is 28 years old and American. If a hurricane could cook, it would look something like this. However, this is controlled chaos, and she is a skilled chef.

JACK: AL—EX!

ALEX’S muffled answer can be heard from downstairs, in the laundry room.

He is stripped to the waist and wearing a towel hat, scrubbing at his stained shirt with a Tide Pen. His head bobs to the beat of MUFFLED ROCK MUSIC. It is plain to see he is unusually fit and muscular for his age.

ALEX: JA—CK?

JACK: DINNER’S READY!

ALEX: COMING!

ALEX grabs some clean clothes and runs up the stairs two at a time. He emerges at the top, completely dressed in a new set of clothes, in the way movie magic. He runs through the living room, and then doubles back and runs through again, because he forgot to do a sock-slide across the hardwood floors. He barely misses a cabinet full of antiques. JACK can evidently see through walls…

JACK: Alex!

ALEX (innocently): …Jack?

JACK: I swear to god, if you break another plate, I’m putting you up for adoption…

ALEX: (He glances guiltily at a conspicuous gap on the top shelf) It was only an ugly one… If you ask me, I was doing the country a service!

JACK: Don’t just stand there, set the table! And clear that junk away!

ALEX: Half of this is yours!

They dance around each other in a familiar routine, and settle down for their dinner of two. Alex puts food away like he’s performing a magic trick, checks his phone, and plays with a football under the table, it’s an impressive display of multitasking. He laughs at a text.

JACK: Uh-uh. If you choke to death doing that, don’t come crying to me for help.

ALEX: Hey, you’re on your phone too.

JACK: I’m a adult, I’ve earned this right. (she puts it away) So, how was your day?

ALEX: I’ve changed my mind, go back to your phone, you’ve earned it.

JACK: (She steals the football from him) Well?

ALEX: (trying to steal it back) Oh, super exciting. Let’s see…A plane crashed on the field, Tom got mauled by a lion and Beyoncé performed in the cafeteria.

JACK: (laughing) Did they catch the lion?

ALEX: (steals back the ball) Well actually, Beyoncé rode off on it—

The doorbell rings.

ALEX: (He glances at the downpour outside). Man, Jehovah’s witnesses…nothing puts them off.

The doorbell rings a second time.

JACK: Uh! I just sat down. Coming! Coming! Hold your horses!

JACK gets up to answer the door. Alex tries to eat, but he keeps glancing back up. Finally his curiosity gets the better of him and he jumps up.

CUT TO…JACK looks through the peep-hole. She sees something that makes her eyes widen in shock. Her hand trembles on the doorknob.

CUT TO …ALEX makes his way into the hallway.

CUT TO…. The door opens to reveal two uniformed police officers, collars turned up against the torrential rain. They take off their caps in unison and tuck them respectfully under their arms. Their postures stiff and unhappy.

OFFICER #1: Is this the residence of Mr. Ian Rider?

JACK: Yes.

OFFICER #2: Mrs. Rider?

JACK: No, I’m the housekeeper…what is it? What’s happened?

CUT TO…ALEX hears their voices speaking in hushed and somber tones. Funeral voices. He catches a few stray words here and there. CAR CRASH… SLIPPERY ROADS… NOT WEARING A SEATBELT… SO SORRY…

There is a low throbbing sound in his ears that is slowly growing louder. When he is finally able to move again, it feels like he is walking underwater.

ALEX: Jack?

JACK: (in tears) Oh Alex! It’s Uncle Ian… He’s dead.

JACK hugs ALEX and the police come inside. The door closes. Outside the wind howls ever louder, sheets of rain lashes against the windows and LIGHTENING flashes in the distance. FADE TO BLACK. In the distance, THUNDER.

QUE MAIN TITLE: STORMBREAKER

END.

—

Notes:

I would like to thank AmberLily34567 for reviving my interest in this story.

- I’m trying to find a good balance between the high-energy, slightly over-the-top feeling of King’s men, and the very dark tone of the book.

- Man, reading Alex Rider when your older vs when you’re younger is such a trip… 12 yo me: WOW Alex is so cool and mature! 18 yo me: he’s a BABY who the HELL thought this was a good idea. I’M CALLING CPS.

- A movie called Stormbreaker, without any storm imagery, seems like a wasted opportunity! Embrace those clichés!

SPOILERS ALERT

- The man in the HAZMAT SUIT is Yassen.

- Ian was shot somewhat close to London, and the storm covered up the gunshots. It was done by underlings, hence the sloppy job that left the car looking like Swiss cheese.

- Yassen kills Ian, but does not pull the trigger. That’s how he justifies it.

- Ian had very bad luck. His actions made Yassen suspicious, but he might have survived, had he not resembled John so much…

- Ironically this resemblance is exactly what saves Alex…

- Ian entered Alex’s number, in a moment of sentiment, because he knew that he might not make it out alive. In my interpretation, Ian genuinely loves Alex, and wanted to protect him, not just to make him the perfect spy. It makes their relationship far more painful and complicated.

[mini-james-bond]

Things I want in a Alex Rider film

1. Use a different actor to play Alex in each film, rest of the cast stays the same. The same way they replace James Bond. This way we don’t need to worry about ageing, and it creates more roles for young actors. I want this role to be open to EVERYONE, regardless of ethnicity or gender. The only consistent characteristic between them is they’re 14, athletic and English. Plus, imagine all the meta humour… Alex (monologue): So much has happened…I don’t even feel like the same person anymore….

2. Alex Pettyfer plays either Ian, John, or Blunt (if it takes that long). Ideally I want him to play Yassen, because it would be funny to hear him say: Alex we are quite similar. I was once in your shoes. 3. cool soundtrack. Music makes or breaks a film. Lets get us some rocking tunes. 4. Alex is a parody of James Bond, therefore, he never drinks, is polite to locals, and respects women. (And actually does espionage…)

BTW: Feel free to add your own!